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Dec 2022 · 388
Circle
Bailey Dec 2022
I'd do anything to make them stop
Over and over these intrusive thoughts
But my demon has a tight hold
And she's not letting go
Jun 2022 · 874
Narcissist
Bailey Jun 2022
Would anybody even notice?
A missing narcissist
Jun 2022 · 241
It
Bailey Jun 2022
It
I think about it everyday now
It's like a nightmare that follows me to the day
When I can sleep anyway

It sticks in the back of my mind like a cancer
Even in my happiest moments I still think about it

It would be so easy
All I have to do is pull the trigger
Yet here I am living with it
May 2022 · 445
Peace
Bailey May 2022
Birds sound in the distance
Closed eyelids stain red
Sunlight brushes tanned skin
Smells of grass fill the air

A moment of content
Short but sweet
In this ending moment of peace
Mar 2022 · 345
Things Will Get Better
Bailey Mar 2022
There will be no more arguing
No more name calling
No more stress
Things will move smoother
No more worrying
No more panic

Things will get better
When I'm gone
Mar 2022 · 1.8k
The Cuts to Deep
Bailey Mar 2022
Is it physical
Is it emotional
Is it metaphorical

Does it matter
Because in the end
It still bleeds
Feb 2022 · 1.3k
Space
Bailey Feb 2022
Tonight I had a conversation with the stars
They let me know my space is needed
I listened close and agreed
This space is no longer for me
Jan 2022 · 568
The Top
Bailey Jan 2022
Sitting at the top
Is it tall enough?
It's a long way down
Will it hurt?
Looking up at a clear night sky
Will I have regrets on the way down?
Eyes turn blurry
Will the tears ever stop?
Take a deep breath
Can I even do it?
Sep 2021 · 356
Unconditional Love
Aug 2021 · 768
In My Head
Bailey Aug 2021
I have these full blown conversations in my head
Of everything I want said
What I feel why I feel
I even get a response
Im here to listen I understand
But when reality comes crashing in
I open my eyes and no one is there
No one is listening and no one understands
I don't know what I feel or why I feel it
But at least I have these conversations in my head
Jun 2021 · 541
What would happen
Bailey Jun 2021
If it all just stopped
Time frozen in one moment
Something just long enough
To feel a warm breeze
See a beautiful scene
To smell new flowers
Taste freshly baked bread
To listen to your favorite lullaby
If time really froze
Just long enough for this
What would happen
Bailey May 2021
A glance below
Reveals a mudded water
Reflecting the city lights from above

Tightly closed eyes
Squeeze out the few tears that remain
A wind so cold it slices through the skin

The pretend future flashes in the dark
A writer
Who's work stands tall with the best

As this battle runs on repeat
Sanity becomes a luxury
That can't seem to be purchased anymore
Apr 2021 · 181
Lies
Bailey Apr 2021
Anxiety
Self loathing
Guilt
Pain

Repeat
Apr 2021 · 718
Here
Bailey Apr 2021
My universe left me here
My God left me here
My upbringing left me here
My environment left me here
My blood left me here
When in reality
I left me here
Mar 2021 · 709
Stormy Season
Bailey Mar 2021
At least now the weather outside
Matches what's going on inside
Mar 2021 · 359
Screaming
Bailey Mar 2021
It's not the silent scream that scares me
It's the gasp my body makes after
Mar 2021 · 814
Unknown
Bailey Mar 2021
I'm not sure if pain is the right word
Maybe guilt is more accurate
Whatever it is
It's doing a great job
At eating me alive
Mar 2021 · 341
What it feels like
Bailey Mar 2021
When the daydream goes grey
And the white smile screams

Shaky fingers
Sweaty palms
Ice cold feet
Speeding pulse
Weak knees
Scary thoughts

Then the daydream leaves
To welcome me home
Mar 2021 · 606
Bad
Bailey Mar 2021
Bad
A general term I feel
Though my mother would disagree
She would say
It's the perfect term to describe me
Mar 2021 · 678
Lost and Found
Bailey Mar 2021
Go to your happy place
Says the cold white wind

I look around
White space stairs back at me
And then I see the box of lost and found

Beaten and battered
I look inside the dusty box of lost
And wonder if my found is inside

Turns out
The box is empty
Mar 2021 · 829
Dried Eyes
Bailey Mar 2021
Today I had a new sensation
I wanted to cry
And I couldn't
Now I'm left to wonder
Why
Feb 2021 · 242
Warning
Bailey Feb 2021
My ears hear static
The sirens so loud
I open my mouth to scream
But the words won't come out

My stomach knotted
The falling sensation won't stop
Nausea fills my chest
I try and take a deep breath

As all my warning signs go off
Feb 2021 · 253
My Favorite Feelings
Bailey Feb 2021
The way my skin feels burnt after a freezing breeze.

Soft warm finger tips running across my lips.

An early rising sunlight breaking through the window to warm my skin.

When I stare at the brightest moon and I feel someone looking back.

My favorite feelings reminding me I'm still here.
Jan 2021 · 1.1k
Isn't Enough
Bailey Jan 2021
Sometimes the light
Isn't enough to out the dark
Sometimes silence
Isn't enough to bring peace
Sometimes fear
Isn't enough of a warning
Sometimes finding someone to love
Isn't enough
Dec 2020 · 226
How Do You
Bailey Dec 2020
Hope
Believe
Know
Change
Breathe
Sleep
Think
Smile
Listen
Encoura­ge
Love

I feel like all I do is

Cry
Scream
Beg
Hurt
Frown

Tell me your secrets
So maybe I too
Can do all you do
Dec 2020 · 254
I Don't know
Bailey Dec 2020
I can feel myself drifting
The white noise so loud
It blurries my already hazy vision
I don't know where I'm going
I'm not sure if I'm scared anymore
Or if I'm just tired of it all
My body feels so heavy
I don't know how it moves anymore
I'm so angry at me
Why cant I get off of my drifting sea
I don't know
Dec 2020 · 117
Wasted Space
Bailey Dec 2020
It hurts to breathe
In this empty place
So end me please
I'm only wasted space
Nov 2020 · 256
Sweetheart
Bailey Nov 2020
Today my demon asked "why won't your feet move?"

I feel my broken lips turn into a frown looking forward at my smirking demon I say
"You should know, you were the one who nailed them into this never melting ice"

As her smirk grows and a full boasted laugh erupts from her broken lips she turns her bloodshot eyes to look right into mine and says "No sweetheart that was all you"
Nov 2020 · 261
Lost
Bailey Nov 2020
Will keeping something
So innocent
Make me happy
Or will throwing it all away
Set me free
Oct 2020 · 250
Infinity
Bailey Oct 2020
Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm so scared
Is it because of the scars
Maybe it's the demons
Could it be my mistakes
These and more
Make an eight
How much pressure
Does it take to break
Infinitys fate
Oct 2020 · 120
Paused
Bailey Oct 2020
When the crooked smile straightens
To a somberly smirk
And the blood stained tears
Dry in to a fresh rose

When the black box
Slowly turns blue
And the burnt smell of dreams
Finally fade away

When the ice chilled atmosphere
Floats out of reach
And the feeling
Comes back in my chest

When you joined my fight
The monsters paused
And now I dare to hope
You stay to play this game
Aug 2020 · 366
Games
Bailey Aug 2020
Red eyes
Dried lips
White icy fingertips
Cracked smiles
Hazy gazes
Blood stained phrases
White noise brings
Soft whispers
Playing games
Aug 2020 · 154
The Monster is Me
Bailey Aug 2020
Sometimes I look in my mirror
And see something scary

Long white ravaged hair
Blood shot red eyes
Blue tinted icy skin
Claws blacker than the night sky
A cracked smile with sharp teeth

This image stares at me
So intense
It sends shivers down my spine
I take a deep breath
As I accept
The monster that is me
Jul 2020 · 136
My Box
Bailey Jul 2020
I close my eyes
To be transported to a dream
Where I'm sitting on my knees
In a white box

As a black liquid slowly fills the space
I feel almost suffocatingly numb
It's like concrete cementing me here
Colder than dry ice
It slices through my skin
Like a sewing needle to soft cotton

I grab my shoulders and squeeze
Feeling myself start to shake
As I am engulfed
By my fears and past mistakes
Jul 2020 · 263
Escape
Bailey Jul 2020
Sometimes I escape
To a far away place
Where the screams are muffled
And the tears dry up
Where my memories can slowly fade away
Today I went to that place
And tonight I have to return
To my reality
Where the screams take place
The tears turn red
And the memories become nightmares
Jul 2020 · 120
That Feeling
Bailey Jul 2020
The one with no name
It makes your earth quake
As thoughts eat you alive
You hear the static sea
It comes closer
And you welcome the relif
As your mind goes blank
For now you no longer think
Jun 2020 · 243
Mirror
Bailey Jun 2020
I see my mirror ahead
Black stainless pieces chipped floating away
I can see myself on the other side
My long hair twisted with rage
My burning gray eyes filled with my mistakes
The scarlet red tears that stream down my face
The black from my soul slowly eating me away
As one black stained arm slowly reaches toward me through my mirror
I see it
My future
I feel the scarlet warm on my cheeks
As my mirrored hand slowly wraps itself around my neck
The sweet metallic smell of steel fills my nose
I open my mouth to scream
As I beg my demon
For forgiveness
Jun 2020 · 295
Tonight
Bailey Jun 2020
Eyes slowly close
As the events of today
Turn into the nightmares of tonight
Jun 2020 · 169
Today
Bailey Jun 2020
I was told the truth
I'm
Lazy
Unwanted
Selfish
Unaccomplished
Narcissistic
Undes­erving

I'm
Sorry

No your not
And that's the problem

Your wrong
I am sorry
For this
And so much more
Jun 2020 · 186
Hate
Bailey Jun 2020
Such a small word
Yet said right
Does the most damage
Jun 2020 · 269
Sometimes
Bailey Jun 2020
I lay my head
To rest in bed
And wonder
In my little head
Would I be prettier dead?
Jun 2020 · 165
Better
Bailey Jun 2020
Scared to believe
In something better
Because I've been disappointed before
And last time
It almost killed me

I tell myself
In my dreams
Believing in hope
Is no different
Than praying for disaster
My heart
Is not ready for the next blow

My words are
My greatest weakness
And greatest strength
So having them destroyed
Could really be my end

So I believe in something better
And I pray I'm ready
For the consequences
Or maybe, just maybe
The reward
Jun 2020 · 160
Mistake
Bailey Jun 2020
Waves of nausea
Crash on the inside
Like heavy waves of the sea
They come and go
Reminding me
Of all the mistakes

It's like a sunburn
Always red and angry
Like a slap across my face
Stinging remembering pain

The tears that stream down my face
Reminding me
I'm the biggest mistake
I ever made
May 2020 · 171
This
Bailey May 2020
Ringing ears
Bloodshot eyes
Frozen tears

Hazy skies
Red blue cry's
Stone cold memories

These are the symptoms
This is my sentence
My never forgotten

Why did I do this
May 2020 · 194
Life
Bailey May 2020
Temperamental
Unforgiving
Pleasure filled
Memories
And then
One day
It all just
Stops
Mar 2020 · 123
Day
Bailey Mar 2020
Day
The light drips
As night engulfed the day
Slowly fading, receding away
And my will goes with
The bleeding day
Night falls like shadows play
And darkness comes to stay
To hide my tears
From the day
Feb 2020 · 181
Flowers
Bailey Feb 2020
Eyes closed tight
With the sounds of the night
Filling me with fright

Be a good girl they said
It constantly plays in my head
I wake to my bed

And I smell the flowers
Just like they said
Nov 2019 · 331
Nightmares
Bailey Nov 2019
White Walls
Bleed black
Blood spreads
Dark as night
Not real
Make my nightmares
Disappear
Like the light
Nov 2019 · 521
Friends
Bailey Nov 2019
Things with wings
So free
Go wherever
Do whatever they please
Just free
But my wings
Were cut
With the knifes
Of my friends
These holes in my back
Act as my reminder
That even friendship
Has a price
Nov 2019 · 957
Loud
Bailey Nov 2019
My ears bleed
From the screams
So loud
Hold my hands
Quiet now
Pull away
What was once
Red like love
Is now gray
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