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Bad
Bailey Mar 11
Bad
A general term I feel
Though my mother would disagree
She would say
It's the perfect term to describe me
Bailey Jan 2019
I knew it wouldn't last
I let myself believe
In something like heaven
Now I'm here
In something like hell
Bailey Mar 2018
Life seems to go up and down
Like a mountain
The sun will rise and fall
As will the moon
Both
Like a kiss on the cheek
Or a stab to the chest
The kiss soft and warm
The stab twisted and cold
Dawn and dusk
A mix of light and dark
As both and all
Take from another
They betray us all
Bailey Jun 2020
Scared to believe
In something better
Because I've been disappointed before
And last time
It almost killed me

I tell myself
In my dreams
Believing in hope
Is no different
Than praying for disaster
My heart
Is not ready for the next blow

My words are
My greatest weakness
And greatest strength
So having them destroyed
Could really be my end

So I believe in something better
And I pray I'm ready
For the consequences
Or maybe, just maybe
The reward
Bailey Jun 2019
They burn
As they fall
Down my face
In the puddle below
Black as my soul
#black #run #soul
Bailey Mar 2018
In and out
It hurts
Close your eyes
Beg
Plead
For it to end
It won't
Because
No matter what
You will always
Breathe
Bailey Aug 2019
Bubbles fly
High from my sky
Maybe now
It's my time
To fly
Bailey Oct 2019
Our sky
So blue
Horizons rise
Night sky cool
Peace will come
To ease our sky
And one day
Red will rise
Instead of blue
Cry
Bailey Mar 2018
Cry
Alone
For hours
My face soaked
Red from tears
People come and go
I try and be quite
So no one will know
I bite down
Choking the tears back
And alone I cry
Day
Bailey Mar 2020
Day
The light drips
As night engulfed the day
Slowly fading, receding away
And my will goes with
The bleeding day
Night falls like shadows play
And darkness comes to stay
To hide my tears
From the day
Bailey Apr 2018
I wake
To thunder
Crying
In a bright sky
Try
Don't cry
Sleep
Wake up
Work
Sleep
Don't cry
For today
Is a long day
Bailey Mar 4
Today I had a new sensation
I wanted to cry
And I couldn't
Now I'm left to wonder
Why
Bailey Apr 2018
Its cold
Lonely
There is no light
Where I have gone
Alone
In the dust
Bailey Jul 2020
Sometimes I escape
To a far away place
Where the screams are muffled
And the tears dry up
Where my memories can slowly fade away
Today I went to that place
And tonight I have to return
To my reality
Where the screams take place
The tears turn red
And the memories become nightmares
Bailey May 2018
Dark cold
I hide under the desk
Eyes red
From the screams
Tears burn
As they fall
Little bits of light leak
Like fairy dust
On my skin
In the dark so long
It burns to touch
But I dont feel pain
Still nothing at all
I reach for more
I'm being selfish
But I want to feel
Something anything
I touch the fairy dust
But there is still nothing
So the tears
Continue falling
Burning
But still no pain
Bailey Mar 2018
Run
I can't breath
They are looking at me
Hide
I want nothing more
Than to die
Fight
A swing a miss
If only for a kiss
Fear
For my life
I refuse to live
Like this
Bailey Jun 2018
It hurts
Finally
I feel something
I just wish
It could have been
Love
Instead of
Hate
Bailey Feb 2020
Eyes closed tight
With the sounds of the night
Filling me with fright

Be a good girl they said
It constantly plays in my head
I wake to my bed

And I smell the flowers
Just like they said
Bailey Nov 2019
Things with wings
So free
Go wherever
Do whatever they please
Just free
But my wings
Were cut
With the knifes
Of my friends
These holes in my back
Act as my reminder
That even friendship
Has a price
Bailey Aug 2020
Red eyes
Dried lips
White icy fingertips
Cracked smiles
Hazy gazes
Blood stained phrases
White noise brings
Soft whispers
Playing games
Bailey Aug 2018
Arrows in the back
Shot like bullets
Hit
Miss
Scrap
Hit
Blood runs red
Out of a torn away back
Drip
Blood runs red
In my head
Hit
Miss
Scrap
Hit
Down
Get up
Lifes not done
With you yet
Bailey Sep 2019
I look up
My blue sky
Turns gray
Look down
My green grass
Goes gray
Look forward
As my soul
Drifts away
And my world
Turns gray
Bailey Jun 2020
Such a small word
Yet said right
Does the most damage
Bailey Apr 21
My universe left me here
My God left me here
My upbringing left me here
My environment left me here
My blood left me here
When in reality
I left me here
Bailey Jun 2018
Why hope
I think about it a lot
To much I'm sure
Both words
Separate
Or together
So similar
But different
Why hope
For love
For kindness
For life
When to hope
For dreams
For laughter
For love
Why hope
Bailey Dec 2020
Hope
Believe
Know
Change
Breathe
Sleep
Think
Smile
Listen
Encoura­ge
Love

I feel like all I do is

Cry
Scream
Beg
Hurt
Frown

Tell me your secrets
So maybe I too
Can do all you do
Bailey Dec 2020
I can feel myself drifting
The white noise so loud
It blurries my already hazy vision
I don't know where I'm going
I'm not sure if I'm scared anymore
Or if I'm just tired of it all
My body feels so heavy
I don't know how it moves anymore
I'm so angry at me
Why cant I get off of my drifting sea
I don't know
Bailey Oct 2020
Sometimes I wonder
Why I'm so scared
Is it because of the scars
Maybe it's the demons
Could it be my mistakes
These and more
Make an eight
How much pressure
Does it take to break
Infinitys fate
Bailey Aug 9
I have these full blown conversations in my head
Of everything I want said
What I feel why I feel
I even get a response
Im here to listen I understand
But when reality comes crashing in
I open my eyes and no one is there
No one is listening and no one understands
I don't know what I feel or why I feel it
But at least I have these conversations in my head
Bailey Jan 26
Sometimes the light
Isn't enough to out the dark
Sometimes silence
Isn't enough to bring peace
Sometimes fear
Isn't enough of a warning
Sometimes finding someone to love
Isn't enough
It
Bailey Aug 2019
It
It crawls through my head
It sneaks into my dreams
It whispers lies to my heart
It's the demon I wish dead
It is
Hope
Bailey Mar 2018
My chest hurts
Why can't I stop
Are you ok?
Smile say yes
But know in your heart
It's nothing more than a lie
Bailey Apr 30
Anxiety
Self loathing
Guilt
Pain

Repeat
Bailey May 2020
Temperamental
Unforgiving
Pleasure filled
Memories
And then
One day
It all just
Stops
Bailey Nov 2020
Will keeping something
So innocent
Make me happy
Or will throwing it all away
Set me free
Bailey Mar 8
Go to your happy place
Says the cold white wind

I look around
White space stairs back at me
And then I see the box of lost and found

Beaten and battered
I look inside the dusty box of lost
And wonder if my found is inside

Turns out
The box is empty
Bailey Nov 2019
My ears bleed
From the screams
So loud
Hold my hands
Quiet now
Pull away
What was once
Red like love
Is now gray
Bailey Jun 2020
I see my mirror ahead
Black stainless pieces chipped floating away
I can see myself on the other side
My long hair twisted with rage
My burning gray eyes filled with my mistakes
The scarlet red tears that stream down my face
The black from my soul slowly eating me away
As one black stained arm slowly reaches toward me through my mirror
I see it
My future
I feel the scarlet warm on my cheeks
As my mirrored hand slowly wraps itself around my neck
The sweet metallic smell of steel fills my nose
I open my mouth to scream
As I beg my demon
For forgiveness
Bailey Jun 2020
Waves of nausea
Crash on the inside
Like heavy waves of the sea
They come and go
Reminding me
Of all the mistakes

It's like a sunburn
Always red and angry
Like a slap across my face
Stinging remembering pain

The tears that stream down my face
Reminding me
I'm the biggest mistake
I ever made
Bailey Jul 2020
I close my eyes
To be transported to a dream
Where I'm sitting on my knees
In a white box

As a black liquid slowly fills the space
I feel almost suffocatingly numb
It's like concrete cementing me here
Colder than dry ice
It slices through my skin
Like a sewing needle to soft cotton

I grab my shoulders and squeeze
Feeling myself start to shake
As I am engulfed
By my fears and past mistakes
Bailey Oct 2018
Mirrors ahead
In my eyes
Blood runs red
As I cry
Please go home
Smile white as he said
I'm your demon
From your head
Bailey Feb 19
The way my skin feels burnt after a freezing breeze.

Soft warm finger tips running across my lips.

An early rising sunlight breaking through the window to warm my skin.

When I stare at the brightest moon and I feel someone looking back.

My favorite feelings reminding me I'm still here.
Bailey Nov 2019
White Walls
Bleed black
Blood spreads
Dark as night
Not real
Make my nightmares
Disappear
Like the light
Bailey Apr 2019
Squeeze
Black dots
Breathe in
Hold
Dont panic
You may not be
Alone
Bailey Oct 2020
When the crooked smile straightens
To a somberly smirk
And the blood stained tears
Dry in to a fresh rose

When the black box
Slowly turns blue
And the burnt smell of dreams
Finally fade away

When the ice chilled atmosphere
Floats out of reach
And the feeling
Comes back in my chest

When you joined my fight
The monsters paused
And now I dare to hope
You stay to play this game
Bailey Jun 2019
I pray
To heaven
To hell
Erase my soul
So another
May take
My place
Bailey May 2019
Dust shifts
Blood runs
Water flows
Hearts beat
I quit
Bailey Aug 2018
It seems like a thing of the past
A dream far gone
Eyes closed with nothing to come
Smell of vanilla floats
Eyes still closed
But the dream wont come
Restless turns
Eyes open
Vanilla gone
Now there's red
But no rest
Bailey Mar 19
It's not the silent scream that scares me
It's the gasp my body makes after
Sea
Bailey Jun 2018
Sea
I feel heavy
As I drift
In the sea
That I bleed
Down I go
To drown alone
In this sea
I made for me
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