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"funniest" poems
I LOVE MYSELF With all my flaws In my Beautifulness, In my mistakes, In my weakness, In my darkness. I love myself, because I am worth it. I am a high power person who can move mountains with my love, thoughts and dreams I am good, kind, funny, full of life and love, contagious with my explosive energy Some things may be equally essential but nothing is more important than loving oneself And at this moment the love I have for myself goes above and beyond. It could reach the end of the universe if I just unwrap it I love me in my inane, craziest, sanest, beautiful twisted, darkest and funniest way I love me in a way that no one does I love me in my fullest woes I am everything that I can and will be I am frightfully proud of my flaws and proudly wearing them as no one is perfect This is the start of a new journey to me The journey of love and self acceptance The journey to fully embrace and value my own self I allow myself to fall in my stupidest and biggest way, just to get back up and catch my breath again Failure will not stop me but make me stronger I am fully seeing me and smiling at my imperfected and distorted reflection Hugging myself so tightly, refusing to let go The more I am spending time with me, The more and more my love grows Is it bad for my health ? I do not think so. It’s true, I am better, happier, more free, powerful, at peace The sun is shining on me I don’t need no help to be beautiful, ‘cause I’ve got me I’ve got that uncontainable light from within me I am smoldering a treasure, sharing laughter, joy and sadness with myself I have learnt the phases of myself So distant from that little insecure girl I used to know As I allow her opinions to matter I have accepted her difference Her different kind of beauty, I have learned to love This feeling of wholeness, self acceptance, comfort and love, is liberating I wrap myself around my contorted and beautiful else to form a ME As I am, Raw and Real
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Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 6:34 AM UTC
Me, Myself and I
I LOVE MYSELF With all my flaws In my Beautifulness, In my mistakes, In my weakness, In my darkness. I love myself, because I am worth it. I am a high power person who can move mountains with my love, thoughts and dreams I am good, kind, funny, full of life and love, contagious with my explosive energy Some things may be equally essential but nothing is more important than loving oneself And at this moment the love I have for myself goes above and beyond. It could reach the end of the universe if I just unwrap it I love me in my inane, craziest, sanest, beautiful twisted, darkest and funniest way I love me in a way that no one does I love me in my fullest woes I am everything that I can and will be I am frightfully proud of my flaws and proudly wearing them as no one is perfect This is the start of a new journey to me The journey of love and self acceptance The journey to fully embrace and value my own self I allow myself to fall in my stupidest and biggest way, just to get back up and catch my breath again Failure will not stop me but make me stronger I am fully seeing me and smiling at my imperfected and distorted reflection Hugging myself so tightly, refusing to let go The more I am spending time with me, The more and more my love grows Is it bad for my health ? I do not think so. It’s true, I am better, happier, more free, powerful, at peace The sun is shining on me I don’t need no help to be beautiful, ‘cause I’ve got me I’ve got that uncontainable light from within me I am smoldering a treasure, sharing laughter, joy and sadness with myself I have learnt the phases of myself So distant from that little insecure girl I used to know As I allow her opinions to matter I have accepted her difference Her different kind of beauty, I have learned to love This feeling of wholeness, self acceptance, comfort and love, is liberating I wrap myself around my contorted and beautiful else to form a ME As I am, Raw and Real
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40
Mirror mirror on the wall, Break the logic and make me see a star Mirror mirror can't you see, the angel you're showing is a demon to me Mirror mirror despite the truth, And show me a lie of my ugly bruise Mirror mirror hide my scars, Maybe then I'll handle the fact Mirror mirror can't you see, What you're showing is destroying me Mirror mirror why are you so cruel, You've ruined life's without making a move Mirror mirror on the wall, The ******* society is responsible for it all And you know what the funniest thing is? We blame the society and don't realize we are it.
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Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 8:56 AM UTC
Mirror mirror on the wall
I am a man of no flag no God and no party but this offers me certain freedoms like freedom from offense and freedom to offend I've always found the most "offensive" jokes to be the funniest like a sacred cow butcher and if you are offended easily this might not be the poem for you that being said here we go Did you hear the one about the last pope who actually did any good? yeah me neither What did the pilot say when the Muslim man walked on his plane? "This is flight 216 we may have a potential security risk on the plane." America: Land of the free home of the brave? where a vast majority of the population are wage slave cowards and don't get me started on England a hot nest of xenophobia and racism which almost makes me glad to not live there anymore and it doesn't matter if you are a democrat or a republican because either way you are wrong, and dumb did you hear the one about the anti-gay republican in the gay bar? He took the most drugged up man he could find for some fun in the bathroom stall because the chances are tomorrow he won't remember enough to break the story I live in the sacred cow slaughter house (you can't spell slaughter without laughter) and the only food that really satisfies me anymore is USDA prime choice sacred cow beef
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Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 10:27 AM UTC
Sacred Cow Slaughterhouse
If I could be a cartoon character Which one would I be I thought about being Fred Flinstone But he's too old-fashioned for me And then there's maybe George Jetson A man who knew electronics Nothing like Yosemite Sam Who needed to be hooked on phonics And what about Shaggy and Scooby You gotta love those scooby snacks I've never really considered a Smurf And their tiny little mushroom shacks Or maybe I'd become a super hero Who comes to save the day Batman , Green Hornet or Underdog Who puts the bad guys away Maybe I'd live in Jellystone Park Where Yogi is still the king For "Hello Mr Ranger Sir" Is just the funniest thing © All Rights Reserved
0
Dec 7, 2010
Dec 7, 2010 at 2:11 AM UTC
Toon Time
what can I say about you, dearest I've always been a sucker for brown eyes, but yours captivated me and drew me in your voice when you sing the beatles (or anything, really) or when you call me by my name is the sweetest sound I have ever heard I could make a home in your arms and hold your hand forever, and I've never slept so well next to anyone I could talk to you for hours and I wouldn't mind spending every day from now on by your side you're wonderful and everything I've ever dreamed of having and the funniest thing is, you're mine.
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Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 10:35 PM UTC
for the man im going to marry
Hiro was such a clever guy. he always said the funniest little jokes, even when he was Hiro-chan, to me. he used to act like a cat when he was frustrated and, and- remember what he said to the mailman that day, in like june? about how he looked like an angry Hotei-osho? we all laughed and that mailman, that man’s face went radish red. he was such a good lawyer, Hiro. i mean, he wasn’t rich and powerful, no but he did good things, though. like Sayotoma’s lease – without Hiro, he would’ve lost the store! and then where would we get our tempura? huh? oh, Hiro, you are so much fun to talk about. and i hate that all i have of you now is smoldering incense and an expired passport. i poured a cup of water on your grave today, you know. it was a hurting kind of hot under summer’s sun – it’s august, after all. some steam came off, and it sounded like you sighing and i said more loudly than i cared no problem, Hiro and my wife looked at me, with a misting eye, while my son kept flicking matches from that cheap matchbook we got at Sayotama’s place. all the failed matches collected between his sneakers and i thought that *i wish Sayotama didn’t make all his matches so **** fragile. they burst and blacken in a second, and you don’t have the chance to really light something, and they just end up falling between the sneakers of some kid who can’t even remember you,* Hiro.
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Jul 12, 2010
Jul 12, 2010 at 11:21 PM UTC
Hiro
Wake me up I'm falling Stuttering and stalling With nowhere to run, and no place to hide A beast deep inside, Is rising Rise, like a tidal wave Rise, to every lie they gave Rise, for it is your time, To slay all these haters with power of rhyme Freedom of expression helps fight depression... Moment of silence On an empty stomach Then comes a rumble At the smell of apple pie crumble Moon is out of this world Annie is our favourite girl I hope no-one else sees this **And starts singing about my ***** ****** mind in a slaughter house Anti-Ducks about this life But with a Kiwi accent if I may Tis "Anti-Ducks about this life" We went outside, Still high Decided to munch and play games Forgot our phones outside Smash the boundaries, Tear down the walls Won't stop tearing Til' we seen Ben's ***** Break down barriers, Smack 'em down Walking past ducker-fuckers Delirious like a clown Smiling all the way With a crazy little laugh On this spectacular journey Into the past It's time to get to the end of this family rhyme We all pitched in with whatever we could find It's beautiful and grand, a real sight to see This Mafia family of mine It's our time our life Crazy running red lights Grand stand, stage band time to curtain call But it never ends, we fam! (Tight!) *Annie's the funniest girl Her hair blazes like sunset But she keeps talking about my ***** I mean seriously... She done yet???*
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Aug 20, 2016
Aug 20, 2016 at 2:57 AM UTC
Poetic Mafia Family Collab
My childhood was alluring days, I miss those days in many ways. I was so adorable on those days And delightful like sun rays, When I was a child, My heart was painted with full of colours And filled with beautiful imagination. The whole world was like a pearl to me. It was the most happiest days of past. But I miss those days in many ways. I played with my childhood friends and brothers. I played with different types of toys and flowers. They are like my lovers. My life filled with happiness and joy. Those days was heaven for me. First day my mother left her hand, She went away with a crying face It broke my heart in many ways. It was the first step to my kinder garten. It was a new atmosphere for me. I cried and played with ***** mud And mud caked to my new shoes. I miss all the fun and beauty of my eyes. In my childhood i wished for many things. Now I wish ,I want my funniest childhood days. I realise they were the big things to me. All are going through many stages in life. The day I found my little tricycle in the backyard. My mind run backward fastly. Like a super car and all my memories shuffled, Until I reach the memories of evergreen childhood. Childhood is the best or world to all. Everyone want to be a child atleast one day. I want back my lamp, To remove the darkness of world. Music is inside in everyone's heart, But It won't show out in some case. Like childhood memories are inside us, But still it keep fade in our heart. Never stop playing, screeming, laughing, It will carry your childhood with you. We never and ever become older, We all have an endless breathing and stages. It can't take back and go back. Look the world with child eye. It seems more beautiful than anything. Reminiscence of childhood were the dreams That stayed with you after you woke. Childhood is being carefully held like a glass. My anguish wishes to be a youngster, I want my souvenir back and Blow it Up into a bubble and live inside it forever. ?
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Dec 30, 2016
Dec 30, 2016 at 8:42 AM UTC
Childhood days
My childhood was alluring days, I miss those days in many ways. I was so adorable on those days And delightful like sun rays, When I was a child, My heart was painted with full of colours And filled with beautiful imagination. The whole world was like a pearl to me. It was the most happiest days of past. But I miss those days in many ways. I played with my childhood friends and brothers. I played with different types of toys and flowers. They are like my lovers. My life filled with happiness and joy. Those days was heaven for me. First day my mother left her hand, She went away with a crying face It broke my heart in many ways. It was the first step to my kinder garten. It was a new atmosphere for me. I cried and played with ***** mud And mud caked to my new shoes. I miss all the fun and beauty of my eyes. In my childhood i wished for many things. Now I wish ,I want my funniest childhood days. I realise they were the big things to me. All are going through many stages in life. The day I found my little tricycle in the backyard. My mind run backward fastly. Like a super car and all my memories shuffled, Until I reach the memories of evergreen childhood. Childhood is the best or world to all. Everyone want to be a child atleast one day. I want back my lamp, To remove the darkness of world. Music is inside in everyone's heart, But It won't show out in some case. Like childhood memories are inside us, But still it keep fade in our heart. Never stop playing, screeming, laughing, It will carry your childhood with you. We never and ever become older, We all have an endless breathing and stages. It can't take back and go back. Look the world with child eye. It seems more beautiful than anything. Reminiscence of childhood were the dreams That stayed with you after you woke. Childhood is being carefully held like a glass. My anguish wishes to be a youngster, I want my souvenir back and Blow it Up into a bubble and live inside it forever. ?
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52
I had the funniest dream the other night I was doing something with paintings in the dream I was picking them up and looking at them I was in a public place, there was other people around In the corner of my eye I could make out this girl She was sitting on a table talking to another girl who was sitting down She was a Goth girl, a real life Goth girl She had these big laced boots and the fishnet stockings She had necklaces and jewellery and the black dress on She had the black eyeliner and  very pronounced lipstick And she had her hair done in a funny way that I didn't particularly like But I can't remember now to describe (maybe it was short or shaven a bit) Now I wasn't staring at her, I was only regarding her clandestinely out of the corner of my eye It's like I was saying "Wow! There's a real Goth girl I'd never met or spoken to a Goth girl before Suddenly it's like... it's like she notices me for the first time And she starts watching me... she's looking right at me Now I'm a bit chuffed by this...flattered I'm wondering why she'd be interested in an old geezer like me Anyway just then I decide to glance at her pretending I've only just seen her for the first time For a moment our eyes they meet And y'know, she slips me the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my whole life It's so warm and endearing/welcoming, open and innocent.. so cute It's like she's saying "Hello there you, I'd love to get to know you" Me! I don't know what to do, I'm blown away, Gulp! I'm all at sea and I'm floundering But I got to do something... so I kinda smile back at her and give her a little wink Then I quickly look back at my paintings The next time I dare to look over she's right there, right in front of me, this fabulous creature...in all her wonderful terribleness LoL It's obvious she wants to make herself known to me It all proves too much though... I chicken out I pull out of the dream I guess... I'm only a Shy Boy really.
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Nov 2, 2023
Nov 2, 2023 at 1:33 PM UTC
I'm just a Shy Boy really (Goth girl)
I had the funniest dream the other night I was doing something with paintings in the dream I was picking them up and looking at them I was in a public place, there was other people around In the corner of my eye I could make out this girl She was sitting on a table talking to another girl who was sitting down She was a Goth girl, a real life Goth girl She had these big laced boots and the fishnet stockings She had necklaces and jewellery and the black dress on She had the black eyeliner and  very pronounced lipstick And she had her hair done in a funny way that I didn't particularly like But I can't remember now to describe (maybe it was short or shaven a bit) Now I wasn't staring at her, I was only regarding her clandestinely out of the corner of my eye It's like I was saying "Wow! There's a real Goth girl I'd never met or spoken to a Goth girl before Suddenly it's like... it's like she notices me for the first time And she starts watching me... she's looking right at me Now I'm a bit chuffed by this...flattered I'm wondering why she'd be interested in an old geezer like me Anyway just then I decide to glance at her pretending I've only just seen her for the first time For a moment our eyes they meet And y'know, she slips me the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my whole life It's so warm and endearing/welcoming, open and innocent.. so cute It's like she's saying "Hello there you, I'd love to get to know you" Me! I don't know what to do, I'm blown away, Gulp! I'm all at sea and I'm floundering But I got to do something... so I kinda smile back at her and give her a little wink Then I quickly look back at my paintings The next time I dare to look over she's right there, right in front of me, this fabulous creature...in all her wonderful terribleness LoL It's obvious she wants to make herself known to me It all proves too much though... I chicken out I pull out of the dream I guess... I'm only a Shy Boy really.
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33
Flatulence breeds laughter Come smile with me, as I sing you a song; About God's little gift, to every man. For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries And we all like to laugh, whenever we can. At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved; Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all. It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too; But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Who dropped that off? Who left us a present? Who smells that bad? Come on! Who the Hell is it? God **** that's bad, something smells like it's died. You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye; You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose, Then when you'd tell them of my story, They'd say how does he smell? (shout) AWFUL! It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Well it's time to end this song, With no more bad **** jokes in sight. It's time to wander on, With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight. (C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 5:50 AM UTC
Flatulence breeds laughter
Flatulence breeds laughter Come smile with me, as I sing you a song; About God's little gift, to every man. For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries And we all like to laugh, whenever we can. At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved; Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all. It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too; But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Who dropped that off? Who left us a present? Who smells that bad? Come on! Who the Hell is it? God **** that's bad, something smells like it's died. You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye; You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose, Then when you'd tell them of my story, They'd say how does he smell? (shout) AWFUL! It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart. It's flatulence! It's one big **** It's a stinky little number and it came from my **** It's flatulence! It's one big **** La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, la, la, la, La, lahh! Well it's time to end this song, With no more bad **** jokes in sight. It's time to wander on, With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight. (C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
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44
In the lie Lie all the beliefs And in the belief Die all the lies From stories of "gods" Who create the thunder To the lies of love and kinship Of societies and their wonder Lied into religion Educated about virtues and vice Lied about a happy future When happiness itself is a lie When you break it down Down to the last Except that matter, everything else dies So if its that we are all made up of, From where did good and evil arise? Where did the tales of myth come from? How did this system surmise? Wasn't it all supposed to make us feel happy? Ah! But they were just plain lies Lies to breed more further lies And yet more to bear the older ones Robbed of all the will in the world Forced to believe the gods in the stars and the suns Yet, the funniest irony about the beliefs Was it a linguist's private joke? An accident? Or just a plain riddle? For does not every 'be-lie-f' we hold Has a 'lie' right in the middle?
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Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014 at 11:06 AM UTC
The Lie
My favorite show is Watching America's Funniest Home Videos with you. Watching with you Watching you Your eyes glowing with delight. Watching with delight Watching your delight A smile explodes across your face. My heart explodes across my rib cage. laughter.
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Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 3:57 PM UTC
Watching
The first time I saw him, it was through the glass window of the space that he moved into right around the corner. I thought it was a weird spot to move into but shrugged it off because it was none of my business. The first time I met him, he was wearing the exact pattern of red and black plaid that I’ve been looking for whenever I shop. I stared at it and felt a little defeated that someone found it before I did! But I made no comment. The first time I spoke to him, I thought nothing much of him at first. the words I used to describe him were “ordinary, typical, run-of-the-mill”. He was…simple. he spoke like he would steal those cheesy catchphrases like “she was like a shot of espresso” — which is what Andrew Garfield said about Emma Stone. And so I walked out of there as if it was just another Monday. Several Mondays and cheesy catchphrases later, that little place around the corner that was made of brick started to feel more comfortable, and I saw him more often. Slowly, I realized that there is some charm in simplicity. Eventually, I stopped using the words “ordinary, typical, run-of-the-mill”, and I started using the word: familiar. There is so much comfort in the familiar. At this point in time I seem to always find myself back at that familiar little brick place around the corner. at the end of each day, I go there hoping to find solace. And I always do. If I was into those cliché phrases I would describe it as a warm cup of hot chocolate after a long, rainy drive. It’s a fireplace during a snowstorm. But saying those cheesy catchphrases would be really lame of me, so… If I were to put into words how I now feel about this person… This must be how it feels when people are looking for a new place to move into. They have this image of their dream house or fantasy apartment. maybe they picture a place with a marble countertop, a dining table made of mahogany, and a ceiling high enough to hang a glass chandelier from. But then, just as they had given up on searching for that dream place, they come across this little cottage made of brick and hardwood floors. There is a leather couch in the middle. They take a seat. Suddenly, they can picture their life there so clearly: nothing but the pitter-patter of the rain drumming on the window pane, the sound of the coffee machine running in the background, and a slice of chocolate cake waiting for them in the refrigerator. It was the familiar feeling of comfort after a tiring day. It was so far from what they had first pictured, but they are absolutely certain that they want to make a home here. That is how he feels to me now. So far from what I had pictured, but certainly where I want to be at the end of each day. But the funniest part of all of this is: He was the one that arrived there in the first place. He was the one who moved into that quaint little building around the corner. He was the one who found me. And I am the one waiting here; hoping he finds a home within me.
0
Aug 6, 2022
Aug 6, 2022 at 1:13 PM UTC
on closeness, and him (a short story)
The first time I saw him, it was through the glass window of the space that he moved into right around the corner. I thought it was a weird spot to move into but shrugged it off because it was none of my business. The first time I met him, he was wearing the exact pattern of red and black plaid that I’ve been looking for whenever I shop. I stared at it and felt a little defeated that someone found it before I did! But I made no comment. The first time I spoke to him, I thought nothing much of him at first. the words I used to describe him were “ordinary, typical, run-of-the-mill”. He was…simple. he spoke like he would steal those cheesy catchphrases like “she was like a shot of espresso” — which is what Andrew Garfield said about Emma Stone. And so I walked out of there as if it was just another Monday. Several Mondays and cheesy catchphrases later, that little place around the corner that was made of brick started to feel more comfortable, and I saw him more often. Slowly, I realized that there is some charm in simplicity. Eventually, I stopped using the words “ordinary, typical, run-of-the-mill”, and I started using the word: familiar. There is so much comfort in the familiar. At this point in time I seem to always find myself back at that familiar little brick place around the corner. at the end of each day, I go there hoping to find solace. And I always do. If I was into those cliché phrases I would describe it as a warm cup of hot chocolate after a long, rainy drive. It’s a fireplace during a snowstorm. But saying those cheesy catchphrases would be really lame of me, so… If I were to put into words how I now feel about this person… This must be how it feels when people are looking for a new place to move into. They have this image of their dream house or fantasy apartment. maybe they picture a place with a marble countertop, a dining table made of mahogany, and a ceiling high enough to hang a glass chandelier from. But then, just as they had given up on searching for that dream place, they come across this little cottage made of brick and hardwood floors. There is a leather couch in the middle. They take a seat. Suddenly, they can picture their life there so clearly: nothing but the pitter-patter of the rain drumming on the window pane, the sound of the coffee machine running in the background, and a slice of chocolate cake waiting for them in the refrigerator. It was the familiar feeling of comfort after a tiring day. It was so far from what they had first pictured, but they are absolutely certain that they want to make a home here. That is how he feels to me now. So far from what I had pictured, but certainly where I want to be at the end of each day. But the funniest part of all of this is: He was the one that arrived there in the first place. He was the one who moved into that quaint little building around the corner. He was the one who found me. And I am the one waiting here; hoping he finds a home within me.
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7
Procrastination, My fair lady, Why must you compel me To worship you When I have so many and so urgent things to do? Fine. So maybe it is not your fault. So I'm just lazy. Okay. But you are so tempting. Lulling me away from so many chores (Or a death by boredom - who can really tell?) Sometimes you offer me the prettiest of pictures, Sometimes the funniest of videos, Other times merely my bed and the ceiling, But more often books. Beautiful, beutiful books. So why should I scold you For taking my time When those are the hours I most lovely spent?
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Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014 at 4:58 PM UTC
My lady
Life just throws you loops And strange circles   That you've traversed Millions of times before,   And this world Is physically rotating in   It's most tedious way possible Day in and day out,   And the funniest part of all Is that the definition of   INSANITY Is "doing the same thing over and over again   and expecting different results" According to Einstein.           We're all crazy.           Just taste a small droplet           Of pretentious poison           And take it           Because it's embodiment           Is everyone.
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May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 3:27 AM UTC
According to Einstein.
(Went out today, Charter boat Trinidad Bay Limited out on rock fish in two hours Watching Elks Head from the ocean, Grandpa) Isadore Called him Izzy Chewing all day on a fat cigar Looked at lot like Jimmy Durante His father stowed away on a ship Wasn't going to be a Russian military conscript Genocidal pogroms were coming how he knew we'll never know. Ended up in Philadelphia town, Scranton Pennsylvania Moved along to Brooklyn Stubby Izzy fighting it out with the Irish immigrants Dreaming of having a chicken farm over there in New Jersey Izzy met Grandma Sarah at the family clothing store they fought it out for 70 years The 60's book Games People Play They were the star attraction The friction was the glue that kept them together The friction was the match that lit their passion. Grandpa Izzy funniest man I ever met Drove an old 48 Ford selling housewares in the Southern route. In the morning far too early Sneaking into his room tickling his feet to the sounds of ohhs and hoho's At five years old Grandpa Izzy took me fishing on some New Jersey pond - Afternoon sun with yellow colors bringing all the foliage alive Sun setting fish rising a hand held in mine defined the peace I seek in reoccurring dreams through out a lifetime A troubled teen all suicidal the drive in the 48 Ford with Grandpa Izzy running down the Malibu pier catching the half day boat before it disappeared Grandpa Izzy never lived far from a race track I don't know about those losing days but the secret he said Was to never lose your sense of humor Always be able to laugh at yourself Izzy smoked those big old chewed cigars lived until he was 94 Ended up not knowing Who or where he was Maybe we all end up that way too But in my memory there is sharp focus he remains alive in me If heaven is there I know I'll find Izzy and I on that New Jersey pond, a fishing line and peace inside.
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Sep 10, 2016
Sep 10, 2016 at 12:57 PM UTC
Generations
(Went out today, Charter boat Trinidad Bay Limited out on rock fish in two hours Watching Elks Head from the ocean, Grandpa) Isadore Called him Izzy Chewing all day on a fat cigar Looked at lot like Jimmy Durante His father stowed away on a ship Wasn't going to be a Russian military conscript Genocidal pogroms were coming how he knew we'll never know. Ended up in Philadelphia town, Scranton Pennsylvania Moved along to Brooklyn Stubby Izzy fighting it out with the Irish immigrants Dreaming of having a chicken farm over there in New Jersey Izzy met Grandma Sarah at the family clothing store they fought it out for 70 years The 60's book Games People Play They were the star attraction The friction was the glue that kept them together The friction was the match that lit their passion. Grandpa Izzy funniest man I ever met Drove an old 48 Ford selling housewares in the Southern route. In the morning far too early Sneaking into his room tickling his feet to the sounds of ohhs and hoho's At five years old Grandpa Izzy took me fishing on some New Jersey pond - Afternoon sun with yellow colors bringing all the foliage alive Sun setting fish rising a hand held in mine defined the peace I seek in reoccurring dreams through out a lifetime A troubled teen all suicidal the drive in the 48 Ford with Grandpa Izzy running down the Malibu pier catching the half day boat before it disappeared Grandpa Izzy never lived far from a race track I don't know about those losing days but the secret he said Was to never lose your sense of humor Always be able to laugh at yourself Izzy smoked those big old chewed cigars lived until he was 94 Ended up not knowing Who or where he was Maybe we all end up that way too But in my memory there is sharp focus he remains alive in me If heaven is there I know I'll find Izzy and I on that New Jersey pond, a fishing line and peace inside.
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When I was young, I thought that one day I'd learn to shave my face and wear a polio brace. This might seem absurd to you, but I just thought it's what you do when you become a man. My father wore one of his own, His left leg, withered to the bone, and Dad was the first man I knew, so I thought that was just what men do. He walked with a limp, but his head held high. He looked life, no shame, right in the eye. He didn't let a moment pass him by, because that's what men do. He went to college, and got a degree, and earned his keep most honestly. He never asked for charity, though he said "there's no shame if you have to." He was always humble, but not insecure, of mind and body he was always sure- for he kept them healthy, kept them pure, because that's what men do. He was always smiling, and quick as a whip, his dinner parties were always a trip- watching him and his guests exchange quips; he was the funniest guy they knew. And if a loved one was down and out, he was the first one there, without doubt. He said you should never let one do without, because that's what men do. He had a strong mind, and the heart of a bear, He faced even tragedy with savoir faire But his strong calm demeanor didn't hide his care, The world knew his heart was true. He stayed faithfully by my mother's side, as the cancer took her and she slowly died, I understood, when he finally cried, that that is what men do. I grew up and learned how to shave my face, but not before Dad went to a "better place". Still, til his last breath, he faced life with grace, with a smile on his face, and a polio brace, because that's what men do.
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May 31, 2016
May 31, 2016 at 4:39 PM UTC
A Polio Brace
When I was young, I thought that one day I'd learn to shave my face and wear a polio brace. This might seem absurd to you, but I just thought it's what you do when you become a man. My father wore one of his own, His left leg, withered to the bone, and Dad was the first man I knew, so I thought that was just what men do. He walked with a limp, but his head held high. He looked life, no shame, right in the eye. He didn't let a moment pass him by, because that's what men do. He went to college, and got a degree, and earned his keep most honestly. He never asked for charity, though he said "there's no shame if you have to." He was always humble, but not insecure, of mind and body he was always sure- for he kept them healthy, kept them pure, because that's what men do. He was always smiling, and quick as a whip, his dinner parties were always a trip- watching him and his guests exchange quips; he was the funniest guy they knew. And if a loved one was down and out, he was the first one there, without doubt. He said you should never let one do without, because that's what men do. He had a strong mind, and the heart of a bear, He faced even tragedy with savoir faire But his strong calm demeanor didn't hide his care, The world knew his heart was true. He stayed faithfully by my mother's side, as the cancer took her and she slowly died, I understood, when he finally cried, that that is what men do. I grew up and learned how to shave my face, but not before Dad went to a "better place". Still, til his last breath, he faced life with grace, with a smile on his face, and a polio brace, because that's what men do.
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47
I wholeheartedly wish I could be the best at something. My inferiority complex The nicest, the funniest, the prettiest, My inferiority complex the most spontaneous, the most adventuress, the most forgiving, the most talented, My inferiority complex the best musician, the best writer, the one who makes people laugh the loudest, My inferiority complex But there is always going to be someone better in my surroundings, in my bubble. My inferiority complex It stems from a family I never really belong in From friends I never really had, Subjects i was never really good at People i never really knew My inferiority complex How am I to compete with those, Smarter than me When grades “determine” intellect My inferiority complex How am I to compete with those More beautiful than I When the outside is all taken into account My inferiority complex I am so tired of feeling inferior. My inferiority complex Lonely, broken. Empty Nothing more than shards of glass A failure, A disappointment My inferiority complex consumes me Suffocates me My inferiority complex The Jealousy, It defines me My inferiority complex Why wasn’t I born to be like him, Like her, Like them
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Jan 12, 2018
Jan 12, 2018 at 9:42 AM UTC
Inferiority
I am working on the world's funniest haiku; I'll finish next Fall.
0
Apr 10, 2013
Apr 10, 2013 at 2:16 AM UTC
The Funniest Haiku
The funniest thing about endings Is they rarely look like endings They are wrapped in smiles And plastered with words Meant to sting but not burn They wear hope like a jacket Which they leave on the floor after a night you can't remember The thing about endings The key to their masquerade Is the fact That they look like beginnings.
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May 19, 2015
May 19, 2015 at 12:07 AM UTC
Endings
"You fight like a girl" Men seem all confident, strong and macho and what not but the moment this phrase strikes their ears, they all get offended, turn into cry babies & start defending their so called manhood I have seen this with my own eyes, and I  seriously cant remember how many times Its funny how society has turned  women into synonym for weakness when the same women's strength to push them out of their bodies is their gateway to life & its funnier how they think they are superior just because of that little thing between their legs And its the same men who cant find their own socks without their wife Its funny how men who worship their mothers often forget to respect the girls who walk down the alley And Its funnier how its the woman who leaves her family but has to live like she owes her life to the man she marries Its funny how a to-be-mother carries her baby for 9 months building a life out of matter but the moment it comes out of the womb, its given the name of just the father Its more funny how we talk about getting rid of  gender roles yet look at a woman with disgrace when you find out she doesn't cook. And  the funniest of all is how we blabber about these civilisation & equality tricks and blame women for dressing too ****** but forget to tell the men to calm their ***** And yet a woman stands there strong Fighting through all these odds as if being born a female was her biggest mistake of all And still. Still, the most insulting phrase men find to throw at each others is," Dude You fight like a girl!" And this is my only message, to all those macho men who use that golden phrase Maybe thinking, it makes them sound manlier somehow "If he really fought like a girl, trust me bruh, You d be dead by now." --------------------------------------------------------- "Fight like a girl, Yes I do, And if you dare be that strong, you would too" ~ Kakareikan
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May 29, 2016
May 29, 2016 at 7:38 AM UTC
Fight like a girl
"You fight like a girl" Men seem all confident, strong and macho and what not but the moment this phrase strikes their ears, they all get offended, turn into cry babies & start defending their so called manhood I have seen this with my own eyes, and I  seriously cant remember how many times Its funny how society has turned  women into synonym for weakness when the same women's strength to push them out of their bodies is their gateway to life & its funnier how they think they are superior just because of that little thing between their legs And its the same men who cant find their own socks without their wife Its funny how men who worship their mothers often forget to respect the girls who walk down the alley And Its funnier how its the woman who leaves her family but has to live like she owes her life to the man she marries Its funny how a to-be-mother carries her baby for 9 months building a life out of matter but the moment it comes out of the womb, its given the name of just the father Its more funny how we talk about getting rid of  gender roles yet look at a woman with disgrace when you find out she doesn't cook. And  the funniest of all is how we blabber about these civilisation & equality tricks and blame women for dressing too ****** but forget to tell the men to calm their ***** And yet a woman stands there strong Fighting through all these odds as if being born a female was her biggest mistake of all And still. Still, the most insulting phrase men find to throw at each others is," Dude You fight like a girl!" And this is my only message, to all those macho men who use that golden phrase Maybe thinking, it makes them sound manlier somehow "If he really fought like a girl, trust me bruh, You d be dead by now." --------------------------------------------------------- "Fight like a girl, Yes I do, And if you dare be that strong, you would too" ~ Kakareikan
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We're not all the stuff of legends and fairy tales. We do try sometimes but we more often then not are doomed to fail, because being held to a standard that you're better than human is a hard burden to bear. We don't all have the natural dramatic flair that makes us fare just that much better on the stage - But whether or not we will ever be like Aladdin, we rub every lamp just in case. In the face of overwhelming improbality, we still find a way to get ourselves to say 'Maybe this time, it'll be different. Maybe the innocent will not suffer and maybe this time they'll catch the bad guy'. Who am I to dream? Who am I to make more out of something than what would first seem? Every one of these stitches and seams that run across our bodies like patchwork, every scar from every time we've gone to far or raised the bar, they are ours to wear with pride. Just because something has been denied to you is no reason not to seek it again, but this twicefold. I may not be Rumplestiltskin but I'm going to keep trying to turn this straw to gold - because the dreams that come to us are ours to hold. Ours to clutch to our chest lest they grow cold. It is because of these mistakes that we are where we are. When you fail, if you can re-trail what you did wrong all the way back to core of the problem, then you've got experience to store away until next time. I only learned to rhyme like I do through the impromptu misteps that we are all going to go through. And you will learn to be better. Every, single, letter that goes into writing one of these little soliloquies has to come out like a summer breeze or they should not be put down. You can't squeeze your brain like a grape hoping that pure wine is going to come out. Inspiration comes from the funniest places and I guess you could say that you've been inspirin' me but there is still fire in me to temper the metal. And I know I'm not going to get a medal for this, otherwise I'd probably do it more often. But each and every one of you needs to know that it is only through challenge and adversity that we grow into these monoliths we hope we one day become. If you can manage to stay strong, live long and keep is simple your whole life through... who knows? - Maybe they'll write the next fairy tales about you.
0
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 5:08 PM UTC
Rumplestiltskin
We're not all the stuff of legends and fairy tales. We do try sometimes but we more often then not are doomed to fail, because being held to a standard that you're better than human is a hard burden to bear. We don't all have the natural dramatic flair that makes us fare just that much better on the stage - But whether or not we will ever be like Aladdin, we rub every lamp just in case. In the face of overwhelming improbality, we still find a way to get ourselves to say 'Maybe this time, it'll be different. Maybe the innocent will not suffer and maybe this time they'll catch the bad guy'. Who am I to dream? Who am I to make more out of something than what would first seem? Every one of these stitches and seams that run across our bodies like patchwork, every scar from every time we've gone to far or raised the bar, they are ours to wear with pride. Just because something has been denied to you is no reason not to seek it again, but this twicefold. I may not be Rumplestiltskin but I'm going to keep trying to turn this straw to gold - because the dreams that come to us are ours to hold. Ours to clutch to our chest lest they grow cold. It is because of these mistakes that we are where we are. When you fail, if you can re-trail what you did wrong all the way back to core of the problem, then you've got experience to store away until next time. I only learned to rhyme like I do through the impromptu misteps that we are all going to go through. And you will learn to be better. Every, single, letter that goes into writing one of these little soliloquies has to come out like a summer breeze or they should not be put down. You can't squeeze your brain like a grape hoping that pure wine is going to come out. Inspiration comes from the funniest places and I guess you could say that you've been inspirin' me but there is still fire in me to temper the metal. And I know I'm not going to get a medal for this, otherwise I'd probably do it more often. But each and every one of you needs to know that it is only through challenge and adversity that we grow into these monoliths we hope we one day become. If you can manage to stay strong, live long and keep is simple your whole life through... who knows? - Maybe they'll write the next fairy tales about you.
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8
Empty pocket and empty plates; safely locked it away still it dissipates, a climber of corpses climbs high to something great, and the rest of us are buried standing within this fate. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, it seems to lose a lot of magic when you lose alot of money. Life’s a ***** but isn’t she powerful? It’s time to eat the rich because we weren’t born full. The people’s scale is forever weighing basic human rights against complete anarchy. The right choice seems obvious to me, obviously, but the indecision’s crazy with the lack of priorities. A climber of corpses climbs high to heights we’ll never see, I’d rather be a stone than those doing the stoning. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, I think that I’ve had it with their vinegar disguised as honey. I won’t make another stitch in their golden wool, it’s time to eat the rich ‘cause we weren’t born full. A bullet in the street shot from behind; validated and woke up millions. No retreat and not changing their minds; vilified for targeting their billions. If they really cared they’d ask if you could buy morality, though typically they’d see if they could find it on sale. The funniest part is that they could acquire it for free but it’d be just like giving an atheist the Holy Grail. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, it seems to lose a lot of magic when you lose alot of money. Life’s a ***** but isn’t she powerful? It’s time to eat the rich because we weren’t born full. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, more bills; they stack it and the weather stays sunny. Rock bottom in a ditch, dazed and in a lull now it’s time eat the rich ‘cause we weren’t born full.
0
Dec 10, 2024
Dec 10, 2024 at 11:46 PM UTC
Born Full
Empty pocket and empty plates; safely locked it away still it dissipates, a climber of corpses climbs high to something great, and the rest of us are buried standing within this fate. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, it seems to lose a lot of magic when you lose alot of money. Life’s a ***** but isn’t she powerful? It’s time to eat the rich because we weren’t born full. The people’s scale is forever weighing basic human rights against complete anarchy. The right choice seems obvious to me, obviously, but the indecision’s crazy with the lack of priorities. A climber of corpses climbs high to heights we’ll never see, I’d rather be a stone than those doing the stoning. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, I think that I’ve had it with their vinegar disguised as honey. I won’t make another stitch in their golden wool, it’s time to eat the rich ‘cause we weren’t born full. A bullet in the street shot from behind; validated and woke up millions. No retreat and not changing their minds; vilified for targeting their billions. If they really cared they’d ask if you could buy morality, though typically they’d see if they could find it on sale. The funniest part is that they could acquire it for free but it’d be just like giving an atheist the Holy Grail. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, it seems to lose a lot of magic when you lose alot of money. Life’s a ***** but isn’t she powerful? It’s time to eat the rich because we weren’t born full. Life wouldn’t be tragic if it wasn’t also funny, more bills; they stack it and the weather stays sunny. Rock bottom in a ditch, dazed and in a lull now it’s time eat the rich ‘cause we weren’t born full.
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