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Aa Harvey Sep 2018
Flatulence breeds laughter


Come smile with me, as I sing you a song;
About God's little gift, to every man.
For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries
And we all like to laugh, whenever we can.


At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved;
Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all.
It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too;
But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you.


It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart.


It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, lahh!


Who dropped that off?  Who left us a present?
Who smells that bad?  Come on! Who the Hell is it?
******* that's bad, something smells like it's died.
You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye;
You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose,
Then when you'd tell them of my story,
They'd say how does he smell?
(shout) AWFUL!


It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****,
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****,
It's flatulence! It's one big ****!
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, lahh!


Well it's time to end this song,
With no more bad **** jokes in sight.
It's time to wander on,
With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight.


(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Äŧül Jan 2018
If Superman farts
And
His cape is set afloat
Then it is appropriate
For Indians to sing
The retro Bollywood
Peppy number:
"Hawa Mein Udta Jaaye
Tera Laal Dupatta Malmal Ka
** Tera Laal Dupatta Malmal Ka!
** Ji! ** Ji!"


As the song means:
*"It flutters in the wind,
Your red muslin scarf,
Oh your red muslin scarf!
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!!"
Inspired by an Indian Hindi language joke

My HP Poem #1695
©Atul Kaushal
Francie Lynch Jan 2017
After the break-up,
I was
Grossly deflated;
Without the air to sigh,
I flatulated.
Panda Jan 2017
Linda, could you pass me the cheese
Doug, thats so terribly rude.
Darling, what do you mean?
For beans I'm not in the mood.
Dearest, please pass the cheese!
We ran out of peas yesterday!
Linda ***, your hearing's getting bad...
**Sorry, what did you say?
To my grandparents, and their near deaf love
Edna Sweetlove Sep 2015
Whilst walking down the street
I heard a thunderous tweet;
'Twas a straining little bird
Who couldn't pass a ****.

The little thing was constipated,
Its **** wide dilated;
Tweeting loudly in mid-bog,
Trying to eject a log.

I observed with sympathetic heart
As it trumpeted out a ****;
Straining, chirping loud and long,
Letting off a foul and noisome pong.

I watched for nigh an hour
Its display of **** power;
Then a final intestinal pump
Produced a huge great steaming lump:

A mighty ball of faeces
(a giant of its species,
and total bumhole splitter
which shattered its feathered *******).
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