"appart" poems
A castle built on sand,
Falling appart by the striking wind, storming, raging, rampaging over the land in a furious devotion only a lunatic would be able to know,
No purpose, yet trying to make one, a nihilistic attempt of a deserted hell, forgotten through ages and generations, left to rot, perish alone,
I do not know the meaning of life, but alike you it has to exist,
Trying to put a broken heart back together, is alike trying to find the pieces of a cup which has shattered into a million, tiny, shards,
I cannot imagine each piece to be the same, because they are not,
Left to be never whole again, after my companions who shared the same naive dream I held dear, fell one by one, only their will remains,
The morning glow we dreamt of was more than just the sun rising,
In brilliance, the roaring sky should have embraced in light then shone even brighter, a firestorm of events as if it was an illusion,
The mission I took up, to become angel like became chains which bound, tied and overwhelmed me with their unimaginable strengh,
Even if no one understands me, giving up can never be an option,
If they worry about me, saying my ideas are twisted and silly,
And even if they speak ill of me, saying my dream to be an angel one day is beyond being naive...I will definetly stay positive!
Bearing my wings, I will keep fighting until someday I fall,
Like a simple feather
~ Umi
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018 at 6:24 PM UTC
I think she's a diamond,
She thinks she's a stone, pebble in a wide open sea,
I think she's a diamond, I don't know if it's true,
Sharpest thing, she cut my heart in two,
I think she's a diamond,
And I don't know what to do.
They say diamonds are forever,
I sure hope that's true,
You could say i'm the sand,
Walk all over me,
I once looked nice too.
I think she's a diamond, hard to find,
Like a couple looking for the perfect ring, I can't keep this flawless
diamond off my mind.
I think she's a diamond, I don't know if it's true,
Love is my distraction, and it's keeping me from you.
I think she's a diamond and I don't know what to do,
Her eyes tell so much,
Sapphire blue,
So sad, but true,
Magnetic attraction,
Brittle stones,
Pushed together and pulled appart.
I think she's a diamond
The diamond's hard to find,
Been though a lot,
Dinosaur ****
Dirt that's hard leave behind.
She's not polished,
She's not flawless,
She's not perfect,
I think she's a diamond,
I know it's true.
Jun 5, 2010
Jun 5, 2010 at 9:37 AM UTC
it was yesterday when the screaming started
there was blood on the floor, your mum was crying
I can't remember the last time I saw you smile, happy
you once told me this story about angels, about demons
this boy never felt like he belonged here, this was not his home
the world we live in is so beautiful, so wonderful but not for him
darkness always found it's way to strangle him when he was alone
thoughts about falling appart, breaking, terrible thoughts about dying
it was at night when these creatures came to haunt him
the innocent soul of this boy couldn't protect him, never
almost every day when the moon met the nightsky, the stars
it was time for the monsters to wake him up and torture him
the tears he had cried were expressed in different types of scars
no single soul in the world could understand the way he felt
it was yesterday when the screaming started
there was blood on the floor, your mum was crying
and maybe I wished you had took me with you, above
you once told me you wanted it this way, it needed to happen
you were so afraid, so scared of these monsters in the dark
your own soul was playing sick little games with you
so tomorrow will be a new day and I will be there
alive and breathing, for myself and for you darling
and every single day I will be thinking about him
this oh so lovely boy with his brown eyes and beautiful smile
the boy who got haunted by demons, haunted by himself
I always thought he looked like an angel
and now he is one..
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 6:05 PM UTC
a black bracelet, it started with a black bracelet and so it will end.
we fell appart that night under the screaming of the oh so loud crowd
you because of the pills you ate, I because of the whiskey I drank
maybe this was the sign, it was supposed to happen that night..
a sign everything went wrong in our little heads, we were gone
it was that night you called me and telling me to leave
not only you wanted me to leave in spirit but also to leave your heart
she always was so beautiful with the light of the moon shining on her
I loved her like the childeren loved playing with broken dying dolls
and I hated her for wanting me to leave her ugly ****** up heart
it were real feelings, everything was so real..
the feeling of your lips on my cheeks, your hands on my waist
so please don't cry tonight or tomorrow, please be happy my dear
you are a thousand miles away but I still want you to feel like home
the birds aren't singing when you are so far away from me, crying
the ocean was dying and the waves were red from blood, tears.
the smoke in the sky started to form a mirror, I could see myself now.
a black bracelet is were it started, a black bracelet.
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 6:03 AM UTC
Your fingers make their way in my mouth, wrapped in my tongue like a gift, digging my waist and softly ripping appart my psyche.
I am unwell for you, too ripe and too ready,
The sweet ache of my teeth holding down my pleas makes itself known
What is love if not ruin
Mar 8, 2024
Mar 8, 2024 at 5:43 PM UTC
DISTURBIA
HYSTERIA
FOLDED
ROLLED IN THE BACK
OF MY EYELIDS FLUTTERED BY HAIL
BUT MY EYES DON'T BLINK
DRIED LIKE CONCREAT CRACKED
OPEN
FROM TEARS OVERDONE READNESS
CONTAGIOUS
IN MOUNT OLYMPUS
PALE LIKE COCAIN
IT CONTAINS YOU
LIKE EVAPORATION
I CRAWL WHILE I
SLURR THE LIFE OF MY EYES
LIKE
CHECKING ON INTO IMMAGRATION
BOBB MY HEAD BACK
AND TWIST OPEN THE CAP OF EVERY BLOOD FLOW BEHIND THE SOCKET
AND IT GOES
IT FLOWS
LET GO
LOOSE LIKE A **** TO HER KNEES
PLEASE YOU
ME
INTO YOU
INTO ME
IN MY EYES
STAY OPEN
CAN'T PUT THEM
TO SLEEP
AND SHEEP DON'T COME ROUND HERE NO MORE AND MY SIGHT KEEP SEEING METEPHORES
OF HUMOR FORMING
INTO EVERY TRICK PLAYING OPTICAL ILLUSION
YOU WERE
...AN ILLUSION
CREATING MADNESS
AND THE CORE OF MY HAIR ROOT RAISNG SKIN DEEPINING ICE BURGE SKIN FROZEN
THE BECONS ABOUVE THE SKULL TOP SPITTIN OUT PELE'S LAVA MELTING BURNING
TEARING APPART
THIS MASSACRE OF MY HEART
AND I AM LEFT TO HARVEST
HARBOR
WHAT'S LEFT OF THE UGLINESS IN MY EYE
(INCREDIBLE INK- TEAM JAGUAR HAWAII )
© Copyright 2014 S.T. Parish CSP Rebel of Eden
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 2:53 AM UTC
Social introverts and a shy extroverts.
Dyslectics grading better in spelling.
Deaf children who know more words.
People with anxiety better at selling.
Kids with ADHD who are more calm.
Autistics who can relate better.
Paralysed people able to feel their palm.
A blind person ready to read every letter.
Who could guess their equality.
Could you imagine, you can't tell 'em appart?
Who could even think of such a society.
Just look at this, humanity's piece of art!
Who could imagine I'm one of ''them''.
One alike you and the rest of this place.
For we all are a different kind of gem.
All shining in our own simple grace.
If there's a ''them'' and there's an ''us''.
But none can tell one from another.
Is there a ''them'' at all, thus.
Then why a ''them'', it's only a bother.
Aug 6, 2019
Aug 6, 2019 at 7:07 PM UTC
Angel Moon,
come in my dream,
let my soul touch
your blue light stream!
Angel Moon,
open my eyes,
put stars inside,
make the night shine.
Angel Moon,
embrace me with love,
see the white sparkle
like snow in my room,
make me forget all
the worlds gloom...
Angel Moon,
come in my heart,
cast your moon magic
on me, let our souls
never be appart!
......no♥r ......
Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 3:46 PM UTC
I've grown distant.
I've grown appart.
I've separated
myself, my heart.
My identity hidden.
My soul is lost.
my heart was beating
but then it stopped.
I carried on without it,
slowly dying inside.
As my existence was descending,
I started to wither and hide.
In the shadows I lurked
and barely spoke a word.
My mind started to work.
I started to wonder,
my thoughts couldn't stop
I started to ponder.
What would life be
if my heart would just beat?
My identity seen.
The dudum dudum on repeat.
Where I wasn't distant,
still held together.
I could be myself,
truly forever.
May 13, 2016
May 13, 2016 at 10:15 PM UTC
some things just don't work out in the real world
you want something so bad and it doesnt happen
it feels like all the odds are against you
there was this girl lets call her Belle
she was madly in love with this boy
there was this boy lets call him Beau
he couldnt stop thinking about this girl
you cant fix what is allready broken
but they knew one day the sun would stop shining
and their world would start falling appart
into a million pieces. and they knew that day
she wanted to be next to him
he wanted to be next to her
and so they died with a chelsea smile
Mar 1, 2015
Mar 1, 2015 at 9:51 AM UTC
i layed in my room on my bed,
i only wished to die in my sleep
fallen appart,i was nearly dead
cause of a promisse i didn't keep.
i couldn't eat i couldn't talk,
i was hunted by my past,
barely having stenght to walk,
i've put my all to the test.
i couldn't smile with pain in my chests,
then came fears, i became paranoid,
followed by the darkest fleshbacks,
until the gap in heart became a void.
i fell as low as person can fall,
there was only up i could go,
missed the death, had to crawl,
decided never to let myself fall so low.
it's been a year i'm alright,
i still recover,my heart needs some rest,
i know my strenght and learning to fight,
a crule deamon called ''my past''.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015 at 6:25 PM UTC
The thought of you almost makes me cry ,knowing I might not ever see you again , the thought of loseing you to someone else , not knowing what is gonna happen in the future, going back to memories just to be happy because none are being made, holding you in my arms untill I fall asleep, kissing your sweet lips everytime I had the chance , just seeing your face puts a smile on my face, the thought of you driveing away for the last time ..... heart breaking, knowing you won't find better dosent help the situation of you in my thoughts, familys and school causeing us to be appart, my dreams leave me lonley in the mornings because you are gone, the thought of my first love drifting into the western sunset while I sit her on the darkside of the moon trying to find insperation to cross to the otherside is like a rough rollacoster ride, the thought of you makes me feel nanny differnt ways .....
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 7, 2013 at 11:06 PM UTC
Love's the glue
Which heals the heart
No matter how shattered
Torn appart
Your life's not over
Your doom's not sealed
Your body's broken
Your spirit's *healed
Love's the glue
Love's the glue
Flows from His veins
For me and you
He was broken
He was shamed
That we'd be pardoned
Free from blame
You know it's righteous
You know it's true
If you're broken
Love's the glue*
He's lost his home
He has no car
He takes the bus
From bar to bar
He's lost his wife
He's lost his friends
The bottle's bottom
Never ends
She's on chemo
Lost her hair
She's so gaunt
That people stare
She has no family
Lost her breast
But there *are arms
Where she can rest...
[Chorus]
BRIDGE:
Bruised and battered
Whipped and flayed
He could have left
Before He paid
The final price
For me and you
Jesus heals...
LOVE'S THE GLUE*
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 30, 2017 at 3:17 PM UTC
last night it was exactly a year ago it happend
there were sad words leaving my pencil, I wrote a letter
a letter to say goodbye to everyone who once loved me or didn't
I was dancing with the demons in my mind, it was good
I was singing songs with my shadows, songs with the broken ones
and the devil was watching me from a close distance
my socks were ***** and the ***** bottles were empty
I don't even remember what happend to me that night
all I wanted was to create art when I woke up that morning
drowing in pain and tears, I wanted to make a painting
a painting with sad colors, like grey and black and navy blue
a masterpiece filled with my blood, my pain, my empty emotions
it were the pills I swallowed that night to keep me from falling appart
it were the blades rushing over my veins that made me feel alive
all these lose things, all these things, the visions of monsters, the pain
all the tears I cried that night, the alcohol I drank to keep me calm
but still it was your beautiful smile that haunted me, killed me
your pretty eyes and wonderful angel face that made me wanna live
you were all I could think of from the moment we first met, forever
it was you and only you.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 2:29 PM UTC
§
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 20, 2015 at 11:37 AM UTC
I spend my days thinking about us.
About how we met, how we fell in love,
and even though you're not here by my side
I'm glad to say you belong in my heart.
When we fist met I had an open wound
from a broken heart, from a love untrue.
I didn't have the strength to even feel alive;
the wound had been there for a very long time.
I cried and cried untill my eyes went dry.
I screamed for help, but no one gave a ****
The months went by, and still the wound would bleed.
It seemed to me it wasn't going to heal.
Untill one day I finally found the light.
The pain was gone. You drew in my face a smile.
"Is this a dream or is this all real?"
It wasn't a dream. The wound started to heal.
So now as you read this I wanted to say
thank you for bringing me into the light again.
I'll soon be with you, dear. I promise you that,
and know that no distance will tear us appart.
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012 at 2:50 PM UTC
I'm torn appart,
torn from the inside
torn between two forces
in me.
I am most definitely a misanthrope:
asexual, friendless, dysphoric, and even
ugly.
I struggle with life,
but I especially struggle with life around others.
You can call me shy or an introvert,
but I think there's something more to it.
Perhabs something in that desire
to erase the whole human race
and substitute it with a powerful computer
maybe capable of thought, definitely of science,
with luck art;
most certainly not capable of love,
and harm.
An unmoved observer of the world
would produce our random beauty with its ones and zeros,
and none of the pain.
Perhabs just my inability to enjoy being with others;
they are my species yet sometimes
I wish they were not.
I've always been shy.
I've always been an introvert.
Maybe I've always felt alone,
but not this alone.
I've never been this alone.
I've had friends,
real life human friends too,
but they are gone,
I no longer feel them,
they got tired of knocking at my walls for me to open up,
relax,
talk.
I used to be able to talk to them,
occasionally,
but I no longer can.
It's not their fault;
I'm just being misanthropic,
that's my thing now,
they better just move on.
But I do feel alone.
I imagine myself being loved
and it looks like a chimera:
it has fear's wings
and frustration's claws;
it has overcooked thoughts' head
and, worst of all, my body.
I imagine my life alone
and it looks so real I could touch it.
It is here.
This twenty years of preparation
where a lie,
design to sell me life
as a worth living experience with friends and family.
My friends are gone,
they are gone because I made them leave,
I am gone.
My family is here but they are not with me,
they would be better without me.
Is this the conclusion,
that life is not worth living
and everybody is, or would be, better without me?
Maybe it is.
Maybe I should.
Maybe I will.
Maybe I'll see you around
at the bottom
of the sea.
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 1:27 PM UTC
Pieces of our hearts
fit together like a
jigsaw puzzle;
each piece fitting
uniquely to us.
yet somehow
someone managed
to break us appart.
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 12, 2016 at 3:10 PM UTC
Where would they be without the legions of lost thoughts and shattered dreams.
Where be the glory in battles won ,with all witness except thee .
Where be the wisdom in a tree, without first planting its seeds .
where be love without hate.
Where be innocence lie in a guilty state.
Where be resiliant hearts when first served one torn appart.
there be light shed in ebbing dark from tunnels of life. There be scars in some parts but here be where wisdom starts.
(c) dlo 2011
Mar 2, 2011
Mar 2, 2011 at 12:40 PM UTC
So many things rush throug my mind. Memories, feelings, things that now seem like lies. I trusted again and it took so much this time.
You reminded me of the day I never came by. How sad you were, even pictures where you cried. You see the reason was still to protect you inside... I knew your hurt, I never wanted to see that side. I promised myself to give you my all, hence why there was never that knock on your door. You had me fight hard for me to reach a point where for you my heart was released. Yours to hold, yours to keep.
You made it hard with the confusion you claimed as watching you kiss other girls, leaving me behind to find with in me the trust to be bound, to the love I now look at with a heart that drowns. The tears you told me was over me was in actual fact for the lover that knocked, more lies and deceat.
I kept my cool, I knew it was real, the love for you I started to feel. I closed my eyes and took the step you now want me to see as regret. I could never have you see what I saw... The girls you tried to keep. Knowing my past you pulled the ace that slammed our dreams back in my face. I tried keeping you safe while you found yourself deep, in a place darker than the nights I held you while screaming yet you were fast asleep. The first shot was hard, the sting felt deep, deeper than any scars in me. I shruged it of and stood by your side no matter how hard I had to fight. For reminding you how precious you are meant far more than my silly scars. We made it out to the light, our love now free to remind me again you are forever in me. Marry me one day I heard you breath in a moment we both thought could never be. I wanted to scream, i wanted to shout, yes my love please, forever I'll love you, I promise you me.
My tumble in life came when I tried to see to a brighter future for you and me. I tried to stand tall but I fell on my knees, for I looked around to find just me. Away on business, you told me, was actually ripping us apart, another girl other than me.
I accepted your words as truth told to me that you would never hurt me like that, you loved only me.
Confused at times over words that cut deep, I thank you for reminding me why my scars were so deep. Taking a knive, you ripped us appart...
Questions still hang fresh in the air but now I know, the answers are there. A truth hidden deep in the scars you have left. I would have loved you forever, beyond my last breath.
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 11:23 AM UTC
you drowned yourself in XTC because you wanted to stay alive
at night time your veins were filled with whiskey instead of red blood
it were your so called friends that pushed you into doing this dumb ****
you were afraid of the people around you so she pushed them all away
she locked herself in her room listening to her own voice falling appart
until this girl was big enough she had to deal with this every single day
never she had seen the sea and it's beautiful reckless waves, the birds..
and maybe I shouldn't have cried tonight, shouldn't have hurt myself
found sadness and luck in other things than humans or humans...
your younger years have impact on your future but don't let them rule..
it were the nights we had too much to drink and we spilled our secrets
it were the days we cried our eyes out, hoping for someone who cared
we needed a reason to keep breathing, a less broken soul than ours
someone who could build us up, show us the stars in the rare universe
and I learned that day that broken people do laugh at funny stories
and that happy people do cry over all the sad things that happen in life
the world was falling appart that night and the demons were crying
the visions were playing in my head and there was no way back..
she was a cold hearted killer..
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 11, 2015 at 2:51 PM UTC
I've grown distant.
I've grown appart.
I've separated
myself, my heart.
My identity hidden.
My soul is lost.
my heart was beating
but then it stopped.
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 5:29 PM UTC
Where would they be without the legions of lost thoughts and shattered dreams.
Where be the glory in battles won ,with all witness except thee .
Where be the wisdom in a tree, without first planting its seeds .
where be love without hate.
Where be innocence lie in a guilty state.
Where be resiliant hearts when first served one torn appart.
there be light shed in ebbing dark from tunnels of life. There be scars in some parts but here be where wisdom starts.
(c) dlo 2011
Mar 2, 2011
Mar 2, 2011 at 12:40 PM UTC
I should be gone,
By now,
When it all falls,
Appart,
My signature exit,
But I'm still lingering,
At the edges,
Because maybe this time,
I need someone,
To hold on,
Just a little longer
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 18, 2011 at 12:21 AM UTC
The orange sun yet sets again,
As my drifting thoughts so simply flutter over you,
I can’t help but keep my mind close, and near,
As it seeps through the cracks looking,
For your simple smile, something that could so easily break hearts,
Oh and I see, as all these tiny trees grow inches in the time it takes me to say not even a word,
To you,
And I can’t help but collapse in on myself, like a black hole slowly caving in,
I could name a star, some galaxy, after you,
But then where would I be,
I’m only yet falling, looking for these simple lies that keep us apart,
I’ve got a noose around my every lim and I feel so torn apart,
It’s so much harder getting out, once you’ve already dived in,
And it’s like,
A scary gravity, so strong that I can’t swim up,
I can’t look you in the eyes, for all I see are hopes and dreams,
And my own light, diminished in the dark,
So yet again, I fall appart,
And seep through rough cracks, water breaking rocks apart,
I am but blood dripping down a bland colored wall,
Beloved, and so it seems, like I am of the same thing,
All these things that I blankly stare at, thinking thoughts I’d rather have nightmares about,
No more than move inches and strive for the sun, that falls away every night,
What is day,
When I’ve lost all hope in night?
May 31, 2010
May 31, 2010 at 5:14 PM UTC