I'm not even *****
I just wanna feel something
I'm alone in my room and everything just seems boring
And the thoughts inside my mind
are definitely still revolving
'round the same insecurities
I've had since I was younger
What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
but I can't see the benefit
in still surviving what feels like a ******
Everyday everything's out of order
I just take the blows I'm dealt without the chance to recover
and I wonder
Will I ever escape this?
I've given it so many name
I no longer know what IT is
Yearning for that sensation of perpetual bliss
I grow scared of the idea of not enjoying what life gives
Guess it is what it is
I've been trying to change things
but every attempt is a miss
Maybe I should just give in
Maybe this time I could finally get the win
Day after day
Night after night
Everything is the same
I can't believe I'm nearly 30
and I'm still playing this same old game
trying to figure out who the **** I should blame
Is it me? Is it you?
Was it us? Was it them?
When I was born they cut me out
like I was this perfect gem
and like a diamond I was built under the pressure of a thousand stares
Only to be dropped down the stairs
chipping off pieces of me
as I bounced off of every step
I'd say I have no regrets
but that's the kind of lie you tell to scare off people with fake interests
Choices I've made have hardly ever been the best
and the rest just haven't taken me to where the goal was set
Yet I still struggle every minute
every hour
I was told that the world was for me to devour
But I just lost my appetite
I'm going to bed without dinner
Sweet dreams and good night