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V Anne Mar 2017
I am drinking away your memory.
I sat outside your old window
The frosted glass
That made us feel
Like we were in our own
World
Together
You and me

Against everything.

You were my addiction.
A force so powerful
A storm
Uprooting my breath from my lungs

I use cigarettes for that now
A nasty habit you were determined to kick
You've passed it along to me.

I am becoming addicted
To my own sadness
My own self pity

And every part of me is
Drowning.
Is
Burning.

But at least
I'm not crying anymore.
V Anne Apr 2017
Did you know that I've
Written love poems
About you?

That I've dreamed and fantasized
And everything felt real
And good

And you were real
And good
But you were no different
Than the others --

The heartbreakers
The betrayers
The hurt and the ache.

Darling you are so unaware
Of the effect you have on me

I was cast under your spell
A light so bright
So pure
That I thought
You wouldn't harm
My fragile heart.

But you did.
You broke it into pieces.

I don't regret you.
I regret what you did.
V Anne Dec 2016
I want to forgive you
to have an open heart
and a spirit of generosity.

But that feels nearly impossible.

How can I forgive you
for Facebook Messages
that left me shaking?

How can I forgive you
for denying the assault
and hanging up the phone?

I’ve never felt more grief.
I’m grieving.
I’m in pain.

And it’s hard to forgive
when I still cannot
forget.
V Anne Jul 2017
I like feeling like danger girl.
I like feeling like a shooting star
blazing across your eyes
and gone in an instant.
I love being the whimsical
day dream of a woman
I had hoped to be when I was twelve
and feeling trapped.
Listless within my own body
yet every nerve ending was electrified
like I was an overcharged battery.

Zip. Zap.
I want to dash across your heart
leaving no bruise or cut
but a stinging burn.
Icy me all you want
but I have already combust.
I live in my own scorched skin.

Zip. Zap.
There’s a ringing in your ears.
The whirl of wind
winding past your head
ruffling your hair
raising goosebumps
yet you cannot shiver.

I like feeling like danger girl.
I like free falling this role.
V Anne Apr 2017
I am a part of a
tiny yet large
silence yet surfacing
community.

We feel the same pain.
We feel the same anger.

It bubbles and bursts
an overflow.
We ask
“What is wrong with us?”
“What did we do to make this happen?”

And the answer
is nothing.

We are brave souls
seeking a glimpse
of shinning light

In an electric storm.
a commotion so wild
it makes us shiver.
It makes us burn.

Conflicted.
Confused.
We are utterly conflicted
and utterly confused

But we are making noise.
Titans fighting angst
our own mythological *******.

But these monsters are real
and they are among us

So we cannot remain silent.
We must find our own unique
glowing
effervescent
voice.

And that voice will swell
and soar
and climb to new heights.

We are eagles.

Furiously screaming
across the sky.

And you should bow
in awe of our
majesty.
V Anne Apr 2017
When you say
"My friend and I..."

I hear
"My ex lover and I..."

I can read between
The lines
And darling you're such
An easy book to
Read.

I have gut feelings
Signals
Warnings
Of danger and excitement

And I had a gut feeling
That I was going to see
Something unpleasant.

And maybe running into
You and the ex
On the blue line train
Wasn't unpleasant

But it certainly wasn't
A welcomed surprise.
V Anne Apr 2017
i wanted to learn your thoughts. like an astrologer studying the stars. seeking answers in the mystic. the unknown. to observe in pure adoration. i wanted to tattoo my name across your skin. a mark with a meaning. and memory. but you are tattoo shy. and you do not believe in the power of the universe. you do not commit. and so, i left. full of too many unanswered prayers. wishes gone un-granted. i left. maybe you were not supposed to be my next adventure.
V Anne May 2017
I'll admit
I want to sing my love
sweet songs
in the nighttime.

I'll admit
I just want to find a love
who is worth
singing for.
V Anne Apr 2017
I hate reading love poems
When I am so clearly
Not in love.

I want to be.
And I want to be in love
With you.

Baby if you would only
Let me.

You've already let my soul in,
Now please let my heart in.
V Anne Mar 2017
I came into this bar for a drink.
I hope the flowers I gave you smell sweet.
They are white
Pure
Like you.

I hope you begin
To view me

As I view you.

Please want me back.

I only came into this bar for a drink.
But it isn't helping me
Like I thought it would.

*Please want me back.
V Anne Apr 2017
How many times
Can I draw on my arms
With sharpie
To prevent me
From hurting myself?

I've found new ways
To induce pain.

I smoke.
I drink too much.
I search for love in others
Who want nothing to do with me.

These black lines
Along my forearms
Do not shield me from pain
Like I wished they would.

They only mask
My fear.
V Anne Apr 2017
I am alive.
And I can still feel.

That's all I can hope for
Right now.
V Anne Nov 2017
I made a bowl of soup for myself tonight.
Red bean, kale, and quinoa.
I toasted two slices of bread,
buttered them,
let them cool.
I planned on dunking them
in the soup
to sop up leftover broth.

While the canned food heated
in the red saucepan
on the first burner
to the right,
I did simple tasks.
Recycled bottles from days before,
put away the dishes in the drying rack,
fed the cat.

I paced back and forth,
in my purple socks,
from my bedroom
to the kitchen,
listening to an old record
that sounds like nostalgia.

I did simple tasks.
Small, achievable things.
Self care comes
in many forms.
V Anne Mar 2017
I remember
swirling my
finger
around your knee cap.

Exposed
by the rip
in your jeans.

The light touch
of skin.


I knew what
I was doing.

And I enjoyed it
so sincerely.
I surprised myself.

I had not expected
my body’s
(my heart’s)
reaction.

I had not expect that
little, hopeful flutter.

I had not expected
that softening.

I let my heart
peak out
just like your
knee
in that tight, black denim.

Am I reacting too quickly?
V Anne Apr 2017
I understand
The overrated teenage urge
To scream out of a sunroof

While racing down an empty highway.

Sometimes your heart feels
So heavy
You wish you could take flight.

Release it all
With the wind.

— The End —