You remind me of the changing leaves in November.
The shine and glitter on the snow mid December.
The soft pound and beat of buckets of rain,
becoming prepared for the blooming in May.

Every single day has not always been a moment to cherish, but without you by my side I would certainly perish.

You’re the shining warm sun on my face in July, and the clear blue ocean which continuously whisks by.

Most days I easily take this for granted,
yet others it’s as if my soul simply demands it.

An intensity that can last a lifetime my feelings for you evolve past one night-shine.
There’s a sharpness in the clouds as the sky turns grey, you’re the moon in dark hours when I go astray.

The malleable Earth to its rigid core,
I find you all around me, within the depths out of reach.
Forever more.

The grip is tight without remorse
Suppressing memories of my execution
Betrayal sharp and thin as a knife between the spine
The uneasieness of the crippling fear of defeat
Secrets so sick they stench of rotting flesh

Forgiveness is an elixir
A medicine for the pain
Abandon thyself in means
To achieve a place of tranquility

Self is all I have
Self will last indefinitely
Self betrayal is thick
Like mud on the bayou
Like oil on the water
An eye for an eye
Vengeance, as the mere result of vulnerability

Free yourself,
Let it go
Find a way to feed your soul.

Shook
Took
A pawn and not a rook
Out of my mind and heading home
I could have changed my mind and headed by your side
So unnecessary and cruel
I won the Bet
And took what was left

See what’s next.
Try your best.
Until I finally put this to rest

Warm like the sunset.
Brisk as November.

I lie between your thighs with meaningful intent.
Orange and yellow phospherence fills my space after you have left.

Dense air fills the area.
Smoke infiltrates my lungs
inhaling the poison, I become addicted.

The aura grows demented.
Brown and yellow.
Orange and green.
The haze is to be seen as if in a childhood dream.

Something quite familiar,
but nothing like I've ever seen.

Distillation of my soul.
What has once been lost,
is now sure to be found.

Distortion of the mind dominates the spirit.
The heart inevitably beats pure, white, innocence.

I'll judge myself more frequently than anyone else.
Passion explicitly rests in the mind.
My desires are a gift to me.
The sun setting will always be free.

Why do I bother with the anticipation of love (lust).

No escaping the pain. One way or the other.
Roulette at its finest.

The love for family burns holes in my heart.
Romantic love burns like cigarettes on the flesh.
Searing the skin right before your eyes.

Sometimes you can smell your smoldering ignited flesh.

Other times in sneaks up behind and the ******* leaves you paralyzed.

Insidiously leaving venom in your veins.
The pain may never disipate.

I found solace in the house of mirrors
I’ve been looking deep in my reflection
I’ve been frightened to see the things I disagree

So far from my truth and the light within
My soul will be repaired
Until my heart ceases to pump the deep blue blood inside I will not stop

I can start over
Reignite the flames that burn so deeply
Must stay in tune to the energy within me
Begging it please to take me on a journey

Following with the moon so dark and dreary

Close
But I can only see from a distance
A thick dense fog stands in between
I ******* wish to god I could see

It’s so beautiful over there
Somewhere I cannot define
The air is fresh
The grass is green
Paradise, as If I was in a dream

I walk through a war to get there
A ******, butchered scene
Still it feels like home
And I find it hard to leave


I thrive in the mayhem
but it does not benefit me
Set me free of my memories
I want to stay where the grass is green

Swift like the sun
Shift from light to night
The tides align with the moon
And put up a fight
Father I’ve burned in your existence
Ignite the gasoline
Put yourself in a dream
Drift into the haze

My mother hates you
Never says a word
Gave you freedom
Sheds no tears

Strong in the garden
Feet rooted in the soil
Doesn’t even phase her
Expected from such a vile act
Nothing can be undone
So time has healed the pain
The secrets are no longer relevant
But the memories remain

You’re standing on my head
My face is flush
And wet
I’m sinking further into the cement
Until there’s nothing left

....

New routines
Broken dreams
Fair weather friends
At my doorstep
Reveal yourself
Feel the intensity
I can’t go on without it
I don’t want it if you’re not exposed
I must feel in control

Fear and regret.
Doubt has become my friend.
I reside in the shadows of a cathedral, where stained glass windows are left shattered and wet.
Moss lines the cold, thick, brick walls.
Hallways so dark and ominous they appear to have no end.
This is home now, this is the reformatory.

Here to liberate my soul,
And convert back to gold.
I did not know I was waiting for this.
Freedom illuminates the corridors.
Cancel the christening.
Find me in the rose garden,
Dancing with the serpent and the sun.

How do you not think about me as you fall asleep?

I think about you.
The energy exists, whether we like it or not.
I trust my intuition more than I trust myself.

Sometimes it's the only thing that makes sense.
It's indescribable..no words are worthy.

I see it in your eyes.
I feel it in your touch.
I fight the intuition because I feel I'm not good enough.

The image is undeniable.
I wish it would disappear
Soon I will become broken, and
I will take far too long to reappear.

Yet, I will remain adventurous..until you absolutely refute.

How do you not think about me when you fall asleep..
I think about you.

SHE SAID.. I HATE YOU.
SHE SAID..CAN YOU STOP TALKING TO ME
SHE SAID..YOU'RE SELFISH AND NARCISSISTIC
SHE SAID..STOP TRYING TO GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION
SHE SAID..THANKS FOR SAVING ME FOOD
SHE SAID..DO YOU WANT THE LAST BITE

SHE SAID.. i love you.

I look into the stars to feel you.
I look into the stars to see something new.
The pain and trauma that we’ve been through, is nothing compared to my love for you.

It burns in the softness of a flame.
Something has died, but I look away.
They say stars have perished long ago, yet clear in the sky they continue to glow.

Death is the beginning,
Reborn into something new.
Ponder the power that mystery holds ahead.
The beauty in its secrets provides infinite opportunity in which we’ve never been.

Indeed stars may perish, yet
constellations evolve on the same wavelength to something greater than they ever knew.

The winter wisps have choked my neck,
Taking every breath has left me unequipped for death.

I watch my world spin and loose all control
What can be salvaged from inside my soul?

Two worlds become one union
Shaping one another into something new

The sun rises and is followed by darkness
The night sky opens up and swallows me whole

This is the last time I loved you
The increasing awareness that my feelings have completely shattered your world

The end and the beginning

Watch the flowers wither away until the dry soil is so hard you can’t even begin to dig through.

Invest in fresh soil and patiently feed your roots, for one day those flowers will continue to bloom.