An automatic

door for everything that moves --


is closed still open.

Shoulders to shoulders,

the flower bursts open, spurts --


away in snap-weeds.

After the garden

party: deflated balloons --


Colourful cherries.

I'm searching the book

you gave: you are everywhere --


you're so deceptive!

The squatting men place

the spittoon further away --


and aim into it.

Again no message

in a bottle, no true love --


beginning for me.

A downpour: people

run to the ice-cream parlour --


to lick waiting time.

Beware, your body

is a prey for the devil --


He makes you hungry.

I passed my parents
from much younger to one and a half
times older than they, more serious
I became, a grandmother I became

Experience, recognizing
my life in friends
seeing it again
in the children and grandchildren

Sticking together
our bodies familiar
with defects, pain
and messy memories

And now I want to leave
away from the timeless artificial light
of the hospital, slip away
dreamily in your memories

The broiling summer

undresses the girls, all those --


beautiful giraffes.

What is home, everyone knows
from experience or lack
or both, as I do

And still
I know what I missed
when I think about it

Not often, at last
I got my home
And still

I am the saviour, the angel
I have practised to be
from childhood

I hesitate at the old Christmas card
with me as a little angel, back then
when I got a cat as a present

Stars on my white dress
gilt-edged wings
and a halo

But unable
to definitely redeem
my family, their desires

Wounded, I crashed
bipolar between heaven and earth
between love and failure

Visitors give me,

as a sick person, knowledge --


of human nature.

Family needs to

be lovely: each other's crown


witness, a party!

I really love you,

but what you expect from me --


I can't bear no more.

Also worlds that we don't have
and have not even experienced
we can cherish, skaters
on the canals of the eleven cities
and those of Amsterdam

We know it from photos and
paintings, fashion from grandma's time
pharaohs, Indians and dinosaurs
the splendour of microorganisms
and the blue ice of glaciers

where cows now graze, the love
on the faces of strangers
which I look at again and again
or a drawing of a little trip
with the three of us on a bicycle

We save it all
somewhere inside us, in the world
which we built ourselves and
where we feel more at home
than wherever

A glimpse of grandad,

he left immediately --


yet I still smell him.

My heart is racing,

it spins like a wheel, craving --


to roll unto you.

Climb up the ladder

and look next to you, a snake --


is waiting for you!

I feel so at home

in the world, with the tomcat --


curled up on my bed.

You say: attention
is the most loving thing
you can give

I answer: carefreeness
is the most loving thing
you can have

It often eludes me
Then I lie awake
because I can't do anything

as long as there are no certainties
no current measurements and slices
for relief or a new plan

I want to try everything
to gain time
exhaust all my strength

adapt
and save who I am
what I'm worth

my head full of purplish blue fragrance
which turns my feelings blue
Blue Bluish blue

Grandpa is bony,

his mouth speaks clearly, even --


though he says nothing.

I wake up. But hey!

How many hours did I sleep? --


Where am I? And when?

Eyes pass me with a greeting
eyes hang still in the streets
and shopping lanes, eyes fly

around the earth
eyes are watching
around important bodies

alert eyes
that protect, willing
to restrict others

I defend myself
and ward them off
with the hand on my heart

an eye for an eye
beware, I look back
even when I'm not looking

Well, I used to cry,

but I stopped, because no one --


cared, no one at all.

Sand lays a ribbon

of rolling shapes covering --


the edge of the land.

I am lost, so what

can I say? Nothing other --


than that I don't mind.

My nose in the cat,

the fur smells lovely, like a --


freshly steamed blanket.

He is so holy!

Wine on his lips instantly --


turns into water!

On vacation it is different
Then you are the man
I saw in you

then we do everything together
then we look together
viewed as together -

the outside of it
our two bodies
which are curiously scanned

through our clothes
We see it happen
and we see ourselves

as desirable persons
with ****** skin and lips
that laugh and whisper sweetly

I imagine it while
I wait for the kettle
Let's go on vacation

You put on some thin

farewell words, with a vague smile --


you left shivering.

He drove me to the sea
I make small steps
barefoot

Barefoot steps in the cold
sand, I do my best
I don't lie down

The toes of my feet
comes towards me
Next to his steps

We have done this
before, nothing wrong
The wind was always blowing

salt into my hair
foam into my words
playing hide and seek

inside my head, and the seagulls
squawk shrilly through it
I get lost in language

differences and bad
connections, and still
he does not notice

We went wild, so happy
with each other, so happy
to have found each other
to have found love
true love, for you and me

...My love for you is still there
...you can see it shining
...wherever you are, let the sun
...of your activities go down
...and blow away the clouds of your worries
...then you'll see it, see me
...with you again

I lived with my friends
until I met you
and you turned out
to give me more than they do
and I want to give that to you too

...My love for you is still there
...you can see it shining
...wherever you are, let the sun
...of your activities go down
...and blow away the clouds of your worries
...then you'll see it, see me
...with you again

I remember one

evening, and so many more --


of those there have been...

Don't ask 'How are you?'

if you really want to know --


Behaviour tells you.

You more or less know

what kind of day it will be --


Now you colour it.

He eats well, just look,

my phalanx fits easily --


in his navel hole.

Taking a deep breath:

there is space, calm, sometimes joy --


It's the real nectar.

Plenty of nice sweet men
but not with me, too little
is enjoyed

my body, I want to
surrender
to tough desire

romp with it, smell him
when I wake up
in the warmth of two

fitting bodies
in my bed, in my bed
in my longing

for stubble and hands
pushes in my skin
power in my flesh

glowing caresses
from a man who feels
who I am

Writing from the heart

is tricky, spontaneous --


words can be faulty.

It makes me lonely

that no one sees how serious --


things are for me now.

Buzzing everywhere,

the oasis full of bees --


All flowers empty.

High in the mountains

there is plenty of heaven --


to make you happy.

A saint made of stone
has broken his neck
embraced by a boy

His head is in the middle
of the parvis, between the ribbons
red-white like the ambulance

for the wanton tourist
who wanted to present himself
with a unique background

without a notion of art
or an eye for the craftsmanship
of Bernardo Falconi

let alone some sense
of the religious meaning
of Sebastian's martyrdom

but attracted
by the divine beauty
of his naked body

Freedom is doing
something for one's own
reasons, taken from nothing
and no one

A child is free
in its game, everyone
can be it and learn it
in friendship

Grown-up free
every new day
own agendas only
to live and let live

To do what you do and
to say what you say
for your own reasons
and not wanting it any other way

This caterwauling

night after night, good heavens --


it is spring again!

I have walked for hours

and I didn't see anyone --


yet there is a path.

An automatic

pilot does not make mistakes --


fatal ones at most.

Don't be sad, let go

of separation rush, dive --


into a wide life.

Father is the black

next to the red smouldering --


of the cigar tip.

Darling, I don't want

to conquer you, but to be --


absorbed in your fire.