i miss people i've never met
their imaginary faces stick to my eyes
relationships i could have if i was there
at some point
stuck watching them unfold without me on the t.v.
i miss people i've seen on screens
no flesh and no bones
only heartless machines

i miss places my soles didn't even scrape
taking busses people suffer through every morning
daily routines i'll never have and apartments i can't afford anyway
i miss being in coordinates
kissing the skies on buildings
taller than they come here
geotagging myself where i see myself
not on my bed
tilting nights colliding with my head

salty
soft
laughter
curves
broken bed frame.

Silence teaches you how
to be afraid of your thoughts
to love the voices
to hear static
to enjoy the crackle
to be sinister.

Silence teaches you how
to welcome pain
to inflict pain
to be perverse
to poison.

Silence teaches you how
to lose yourself
to feel the snaps
and the booms
to harm
and to tap and shiver.

Hanging in space,
suspended in nothingness,
tiny little cubes
with rounded edges
glistening brightly
like bulbs;
they're moments.

Some moments are nice
and some worth writing about.
The best moments **** time;
Earth spins slowly,
your bones tilt
your guts twist
and then it's over
like blown-out candles
just like that.

The tiny little cubes are snapshots,
they capture the moments
and they won't shake them after they come out.
The cubes are collages
of your entire life
of the feelings you've felt
the experiences you've had
and your love wrote a cute note at the bottom of the picture.

The tiny little cubes go unnoticed
by most people
but you.
However,
the moments still exist
as long as there are someone
to remember them.

Take that girl back
to her house;
through dark tunnels and
crooked path systems.
Take her back.

She kisses you
a reward for her knight;
silky cashmere satin challis kiss.
Knocks you out.

Peel the kiss off your lips
fold it
and store it in your heart;
and even though it feels like
your heart grew three sizes,
there's not enough room for it.
Just hold it.

Walk through the drizzle
back home, not paying attention to
the ***** on your shoes
the lack of cigarettes
the upcoming exam
(you're *******).

Unravel the kiss when you're old
sitting in your rocking chair;
do you still taste the cherry lip balm?

Great time
lots of wine
you left, I'm in bed.
Butterflies cartwheeling
and then I crumble.

Making memories
family members
people I enjoy
I smile and feel warm
and then I crumble.

Night out
having fun
cool summer night
just a speck of amber street light
and then I crumble.

Long life
loving wife
sitting in my rocking chair
still got all of my hair
and then I crumble.

je voudrais faire un câlin à toi
mais tu pues comme l'innocence
d'une clope.

ma mamie encore ne parle pas
à moi.

I wish
that when I woke up,
you would finally be there.
I tried to stare into your eyes
and realised
that you were still missing
and I started drifting.

There you were
your long, blonde hair
smiling at me.
Suddenly,
caught by the headlights,
you were tossed
and when landing
your teary eyes slipped out of this world
full of smiles
romantic nights
children's laughter
blue skies
golden sunsets
and you left us all
into the darkness
and you were so afraid of the night.
I had to get out.

And when I turned to look at where you should have been
your picture looked back at me
smiling.

Hey, *** me a smoke
I can't smoke my lucky one.
Could you ******* it, too?
We didn't last in the long run,
but I used to ******* you.

*** me a smoke,
I'm a broke bloke
What's your attitude about?
Don't *** me out.

My grandma won't hug me
she thinks I stink
My mum bugs me
when I get too much to drink,
I think.

My friends think it's cool
we stand in the bike shed behind our school.
The girls are looking,
I just wanna look good.
Can you please *** me a smoke?

Flames behind me
the smoke blinds me
the fall in front of me
don't wanna jump, not for the life of me.

We've all hit our expiration dates
Johnson dangling, entangled in a wire
he's 68, he was about to retire
a burnt child dreads the fire
and he's a lump of charcoal.

Up many storeys
the planes hit precisely.
News helicopters flying and taping
there's no escaping,
the fire's approaching.

I need to jump,
no slow death here.
Here we go,
Geronimo!

Fire caught me in my fall
God's doing his roll call
pain in my legs as the ground comes closer
I move quick, I cannot breathe, my lungs are squished
Did I tell my kids I love them?
No, but I wish.

Ironically, I'm on the bridge,
after burning too many,
I've pushed away people,
family
friends
lovers
and now I don't have any.

You need help!

They cry, they chant
Stay on this Earth, life is lovely,
but I just ******* can't.
No one cares about you, life's tough
right until you're suicidal
then everyone's an idol.

You need help!
You need help!

No, I don't.
You're in the wrong,
Politicians lie and you eat it raw, the rich are in control
I don't belong.
I want out, noose in hand
suddenly, life doesn't seem so bland.

Get out, get out, get out
I'm feeling this too early

22, young, whole life ahead of me,
this is not a call for help, not a plea
Society, life and I are too disjoint
and we'll all die
so after all, what's the point?

Get out, get out, get out
Get out, get out, get out
Get out, get out, get out

I want out
don't let me stay
if my noose snaps,
you'll find me somewhere in the bay.
Please let me out,
I beg you,
offing yourself is so hard,
too hard,
I am too scarred
and survival instincts are tough
I wish this was bluff.

You need help!
*You need ... *

Get out, get out, get out
Get out, get out, get out
Before it's too late

I feel trapped, no air
legs kicking, arms flailing.
People stare,
but now I don't care.
No grey, colours come back
blue
green
yellow
red
orange
they are all there
I'll never look back.

The
Life's amazings
you've got so much to live fors
people love yous
are too much
I'd rather go out wildly
or by botch.

My defences are like chewing glass Skittles;
they're too brittle, my mouth full of shards
I'm spewing blood by the yards,
while switching wards;
I've tasted the rainbow,
the flavour was like ****
blow after blow, I've taken all the hits.

Don't get too comfortable,
nothing good will ever stay.

They cried, "You've got the rest of your life ahead of you!"
Don't remind me.

Outside, heading eastbound
It's getting warmer outside,
sun is shining, sky is blue.
It all feels right.

Out for a few nights,
music is so loud
colours going everywhere; blue, green, yellow, red, purple;
kaleidoscopic
I wanna dive in
and swim
I miss the tropics.

Pain all around
shooting following shooting
I'll work it out
distant chatters just
filter out into choruses
and phase out.

Ringing in my ears
nose bleeding
memories fading
no more colours
just black

**...

Hello,
Welcome to the other side;
lust over love
we struck a dead note and
we're capsizing your boat.

You're lost
coughing and wheezing;
shivering and freezing
come through the smoke
and to the other side.

School's out
forever;
it's all pills and heels
blurring faces and nightlife lights.

My mind is playing tricks
flipping into reverse,
all is static,
I'm frantically sadistic.

I'm on the grind,
****'s grinding my gears,
you say my name like it's sounds I made up
even in our sheets we're ****** up.

The rat race isn't a race,
but a triathlon
we aren't athletes,
we're just dragging our feet along,
no ping to life's pong,
this is a poem
'cause I can't write songs.

They're wrapped around his ankles,
they're pulling him down--
so much time, so much time wasted
they're dragging him down.

All the battles he's fought
cutting losses, cutting himself--
he feels the wires' pull
they'er dragging him down.

All he's invested in,
all he's spent--
all he's put into it
it all falls apart.

He feeæs the wires' pull.

dozens of lamps on a string, flashing
bass and **** yous hurling in the air
"Cheese".
fifty applications out, no cashing
cold apartments and lots of life's not fair
"Cheese".
lotta pills in my veins, teeth gnashing
at this point, i just don't care
"Cheese".
brother comes out, plates smashing
parents won't share a prayer
"Cheese".
walked outside one night, two guys dashing
bones cracking and small tears and a big tear
"Cheese".
eviction, no help, no compassion
just another Kodak moment
**Say "Cheese".

Cancer, Cancer, Cancer
I know you well,
we go a long way back
you wanted to **** my mum,
starting with her *******,
and then fondling my dad's *****,
wrecking homes wherever you go.
Who's next?

We build rays to keep you out
what are you all about?
You like those children, too, you pervert.
Cysts, cysts, cysts,
he who will be kissed,
will be missed.
Who's next?

People blow on your cigarettes
while you **** the life out of them,
cutting their hair off, sending off moans.
Listen to their groans.
Why do you wanna see their bones?
Who's next?

So, I sorta broke away,
colliding into the moon to prove
that you're my number one.
Wipe your tears because I'm here to
promise that I'll always be around,
if not,
I'm near you.

I waltzed with the sun
and mingled with the stars.
always behind bars on Mars,
trapped by your stun gun.
I was the center of galaxies,
oddly enough,
you were the black hole
and seized control
and you made me slip

down to Earth
I smacked my head
and you said,
"Try ******* off instead".

My thinking is in bold,
but my words in lower-case.

She dreams in italics,
but,
unfortunately,
speaks in CAPITALS.

Society is no fun
imaginary responsibilities weigh a ton.

A pro status quo preaches,
not voting is a sin,
you sucker punch him,
you like punching suckers like him.

When I was around her
she pulled the colour out of space,
tore the fabric apart, left no trace.
I knew her
inside out,
upside down,
forwards and backwards,
she called the shots,
but I shot the calls.

She liked her anemone,
it was her friend to be
it was buried, caught in a sea
of nettles, but she ripped off all the petals
as easily as
time and space itself.

A girl's love, they say,
is so easy and kind;
it should make you want to put even the ******* days on rewind.
Walking in hazes, tripping on wires in mind mazes.
Dandelion ships, Jedi mind tricks.

Your love, on the other hand,
makes me want to **** myself;
run my car into a tree
getting stung in my eyeballs by a bee, hey, look at me
I'm controversial!
No, I am just in love and your love is a house
set ablaze
filled with exits, just in case,
but I don't want out.
I want the fire to gnaw my leg in half,
to rip open my calves, to rip me apart.
Keep munching on my heart,
but spit those seeds out.

Keen little neons
playfully jump around, colliding with her mind
and she sits there, legs crossed, her ***** aroused,
but it gets doused as the Wall Street pinstripe type walks by
she utters a sigh, looks at the sky, the ending's nigh, and it's night.

Skyline looks pretty
beams and lighted apartment block kitchens and real pop-up ads,
them keen little neons,
her eyes flicker like those hanging lights in horror films,
perpetuate fear, the skeletons are in the clear.
I told you, you schmuck, the end is near.

I wish this loneliness
would leave me alone.
I am legally blind, a metaphor for my state of mind
I like to keep people at bay, say, do all people carry dismay?
I look at her *****, it's like a potent revolver
Warm, wet, scratched, and half-seen
I wish I was a problem solver.

Freakishly tall trees on both sides, all ceasing and dying
People's din, cars, trucks, motorbikes,
youse all barefooted, watch the pikes
Tall handsome man, all cool, without trying.

He never pussyfoots, he only calms you with his eyes
****, he sets the gardens ablaze
all barefooted, all in a daze
flickering bulblights, everything still dies.

Silky crinkly smooth voice like sonnets
Look, concrete cages hits concrete
bones crack to the beat
they split him open with onyx.

Always a joy, always a delight
sauntering down the avenue
smoky homes and billboard hue
boys drink joke ****, girls drunk ***** fright.

I gotta tell ya,
jazz ain't what it used to be.
Charlie Parker, Thelonius, Miles;
the girls would writhe the notes away.

Today, though, jazz is much more different
Kamasi, Riggins, and that other dude
By the way, the girls still writhe
they're much easier to crack dead
than alive.

the sound of a baby crying and
a mother sulking.

the sound of a car screeching and
bones breaking.

the sound of moans of delight and
a scream of pain in the night.

boring how life always uses
the same soundtrack.

wistful
rhymes
with wishful.
both are
central
in my life.

the way she cracked her fingers
and licked her lips
sent shivers down my spine.

oh, darling
pucker up
and colour code those lips.
burgundy means stop
crimson means ****.

sometimes
silence speaks louder
than words could ever do.

trapped in loops
reliving the same days
over and over.

the same sights
the same thoughts
the same actions
round and round
we go.

if we get through
today
our dreams will
definitely come true
tomorrow.

Golden Gate Bridge,
pathway between two worlds
the bay's own graveyard.

A young man named Kevin
on the rail, talking to officers.
Shifting
from side
to side
a leg in both worlds.

He had lost all hope
odds were stacked against
life had doled out too many lemons
and he leapt.
Ending his own pain
and sparking everyone else's.

Doing escapades
is just not enough for you.
You make sequels
to previous mistakes
and just like films,
they get worse and worse.

I've got this
hate machine
inside of me.
I built it out of broken dreams
and it runs on what ifs,
could've beens,
would've beens,
and should've beens.
Its fumes
are so poignant.

you fuel it
with your lies
and your smirk
your ******* smirk.
I hate you.
What if you stuck around?
It would have been so good,
it could have been so good.
Who am I kidding,
it should've stayed a dream.

looking around
in the room
she flashes her teeth
and winks to the crowd.

the pursuit of happiness
is a rough one
every boulevard covered
with pastel-shaded
houses.

nothing is real
no nature, no oceans, no sky
everything is just
tinsel smiles and plastic kisses,
just ikea boxes pinned to the walls
for decoration.

you're like the nettles
in my backyard
like the sting
of a wasp
you're like the bayonet
at the end of a rifle
using my own weapon
against me.

she had a voice
like a lullaby.
no one could tell me
to get out
after so many years
after so many struggles
after so many fights
after so much love
in such a beautiful way.

all i want out of my life
is tons of adventures
to look back on.

all i do with my life
is sit in class after class
office after office
with nothing to look back on.

passing by on the streets
talking
cracking the same jokes.
but it's not the same.
it'll never be the same.

it feels like
the only thing connecting us
these days
is my ****.

nobody can help
but everybody understands.

today i wrote a masterpiece
but for a status update on Facebook.

i was hopeful
but you made me lose hope
i hope
you know that.
hopefully,
you do
'cause i can't tell you.

it's hard being full-time in love
with a part-time lover

you're howling at the other girls
in the bright moonlight
hunting them down
******* their carcasses.

then returning
kissing me goodnight
being ever so still.

I'm over you
but you keep appearing
under me

we're in the trenches
arguing
fighting
spiteful stares
all the capitulations in the world
couldn't save us.

you're home late
i got a taste of you
just a flavour
you were drinking
and smoking
but that kiss
tasted of a lot more.

being aloof
is perfection
but cashmere makes
perfection better
gucci makes
everything better.

come play dead
you do it so well
doesn't it feel good
to drive a bus?
to stand behind the till?
to stand in the queue?
people need to go to places
buy their groceries
and you need
your fast food meal
come play dead
you do it so well.

it's a theatre
be sure to get there early
to get the front seats
who wanna watch
from the back rows?
come play dead
you do it so well

mom told me
to get out of bed
every morning
before school.

at school,
the bully shoved me aside
and told me to get out
of his way.

when I got older
my parents split up
and my dad told me
to get out of his house.

later,
home from party,
cop pulled me over
told me to get out
of my car
and into a cell.

girlfriend of five years,
we even had a kid together,
told me to get out of her life
and I never saw her again.

don't you ever feel like
the world is trying
to send you a message?