As I look in the

Mirror,

I don't see myself.



I only see what I

Believe

myself to be.



And occasionally I

Wonder

what it took,



To make me this kind of

"Me"



l.r.

I would say that you don't notice me,

but it seems to me you do.

It's just that you're a stranger to me,

as I am to you.


l.r.

Your smile makes my life
worthwhile.

*Oh, yes it does.

I am a
warrior
But they don't give
A ****

So I fight
The silent battles
To preserve the
Human I am

You are so many people
n' my head is pounding
and a half hour of sleep
isn't gonna make it better

Nostalgic feeling;
Looking back on life through
Rose coloured glasses
To see sweet memories
That never were.

She can be dangerous
She can be mean

She can be perfectly polished; pristine.

She can go overboard
She can be sad

She can also become undeniably mad.

Honed fangs behind
sweet lips.  

Lips made to caress my
skin as they travel along
my throat.
So gentle he is,
For a monster

His tongue against my
jugular;
Heartbeats quicken.
Shallow breathing
as his dark eyes
bore into mine.

"Take me," I plea, "make me into you."

You are mine...
His voice is thick,
laced with seduction
but also some sort of
tenderness.

His movements
careful
slow
calculated.

He plants a
kiss on my neck,
fangs barely brushing.

*And I do not destroy that which is mine.

I grab at your heart.

Then pulling away slowly,

I lick the blood from my frostbitten
fingertips

today is the day that i lost all respect for you;
the day i realized that i couldn't trust you and that the "you" i knew was never coming back
                                       l.r.

Not in love

I may have been once

But I don't want to be

Anymore.

My darling girl

You're not happy with yourself,
It begins to affect your mental health

My darling girl

You lose weight ******* and then your concert tees don't fit anymore

My darling girl

You say that you want to heal
But how then? If you cannot feel.

My darling girl

I have nothing left to fear
For you my dear, a silent tear.

It seems that I
burn more bridges
than I build.

I was empty… abysmal.

There was nothing left of me.

I couldn’t hurt;

I couldn’t feel.



I knew the days were passing by,

but I didn’t know how many.

Everything seemed to just blur together,

into one enormous mess.



Am I even alive anymore?

It sure doesn’t feel like it.

After all, I’m not living.

I’m just surviving.



l.r.

she is a universe
undiscovered and pure
with lips the colour of a champagne supernova
and eyes like shooting stars

l.r.

i'm not sure what it is
about me that
makes you want to
be thin
i guess i never told
you enough

it's your flaws i'm interested in

        l.r.

My dear girl, she stands broken.

Eyes once seeing with vision uncluttered by hate,
Now are blinded with the cataracts
of insecurity.

The sun will never set the same way.
a song will never sound as it
once did.

Reality has broken her.

Everyone around
me has been
saved
but I'm
still
drowning.

Crazy, insane, she thought she was
And the asylum collapsed
As a dilapidated one does

The death too strong
The pain too near,
Yet at the funeral she cried not
one tear.

She met a boy,
with accent strong.
And his curly brown hair
seemed not too long.

With his crooked smile
And perfect teeth,
She could feel herself wavering,
Becoming weak.

They both had dark secrets
Yet told one another,
But only at the necessity
Of rescuing her brother.

Some time has passed
Yet she sees him again
the one she used to call her old
Boyfriend.

Was this a hallucination?
Some PTSD?
"Or is this him standing
in front of me?"

No name. No face.
Living in such a lonely place.

fingernails bite
leaving red streaks to stain pale skin
is this heaven or hell?
soft lips
plump they may be
blindfolded
i can't really tell

I am a puzzle.
You don't understand me,

But that's okay,
because if you did

*what sort of puzzle would I be?

heart and mind
both opened at the
exact same time.

outside of my comfort zone
i quickly and quietly
write the poem.

regrets and fears
of darkness from the past
how long will AJ let me last?

a dark secret i don't want
to show
just how long until they know?

he seems supportive
accepting and such
and he says he likes me way too much

l.r.

We stand side by side
on the corner of
the road.
I watch you smoke
your cigarette-- you
**** in and blow.
It begins to rain; I
check the time on
my phone,
And I say to you,
"Matty, I want to go home."
You ask, "Why, babe? Did I
make you upset?"
I reply, "No, but I am
getting wet."
You give me a smile,
take off and hand me
your jacket.
"Matty, don't you need this?"
"Nah, baby. Have it."
So we stand side by side
at the end of the
street,
With my head on your shoulder
and your arm
around me.

How easy it
is to fall
asleep thinking of
      You.

chapped lips
shallow breaths
anticipating what comes next
legs weak and
sweaty skin
how could this be called
a sin?
               l.r.

stranger's bedroom
stranger's house
familiar kisses
from a stranger's mouth


l.r.

the thunder cracks
just like the fragile glass
that is my heart
                               l.r.

i try to tell myself that i'll be okay
but i know that i'll never be okay
if i never get to be with you

l.r.

I hear your voice carried upon the whispering winds. Surrounding me with secrets untold.
I see your face in the stars at night. Your eyes glittering down at me just before I drift off.
I feel your touch in the chill morning air,
And your smell in the morning dew that accompanies it.
The strawberries taste of you, their familiar sensation tingling my tongue.
Funny, how I sense you everywhere and yet
Not at all.

a rainy day
a lonely girl
nothing else matters
but the pen in
her hand.

she wishes she
could change the world
but all she can
write is:

*There is no reason to be so cruel.

if i had a second heart i'd fall for you twice
because having just one broken heart
doesn't feel quite as nice


l.r.

That's the thing
about teens
today.

*We're no longer invincible.

Blood stained the cobblestone street
As they punished me, San Valentín.
For marrying people off the streets,
To keep them from the war defeats.

Yet they celebrate my body marred
On a holiday with gifts and cards.
I wish to join them in chocolates fed,
But it's hard to eat without your head.

Hold tight to your humanity,
my dear
even in the worst of times
for if you lower yourself to
their animalistic ways
there you shall be and
there you shall stay            l.r.

each poem i write
is a petal.
those petals then begin to form
a flower and all of the flowers
are for you.
                        l.r.

hot throat
thick breaths
words choked on and lost to coughs

eyes watery
runny nose
nowhere is safe, not even at home

l.r.

I loved you so much
that I lost my own identity
to become closer to you.

All was well until you left
and suddenly I realized:

I don't know who I am anymore.

I'm not a
"hopeless romantic,"
I am simply
romantically hopeless.

there's something so metaphysical about the way you look tonight; something so transcendent that to put it into words could never do you justice.

l.r.

my head aches
and my heart breaks
over a love that never
existed and a touch
that will never be known

        l.r.

i was just your conditional lover;
you only adored me when i was under your covers.

l.r.

In between lives I've loved you, different parts of you each time, so now in this life we are living I've come to love you completely, without reserve, like putting all the pieces of a puzzle together, leaving me one beautiful something made with the tiny pieces of us.      
          s.w. collins

Like any puzzle,
though -- overtime -- we lose the little pieces. And the whole picture that once was is now distorted.
Eventually, we leave the puzzle behind because the holes cannot be filled.
we are missing the things that used to hold us together            l.r.

i want to share everything
that i am with you
from the love that i give
to the taste of my mouth
    l.r.

I love how when you visit

You sit on the other couch silently

Reading your book



How every minute or so

I hear the flipping of flimsy

Pages



Sometimes, when I glance at you

I see different emotions passing

Across your face



I love to watch you change position

As you shift your body

Across the sofa



I love how you bury yourself

Into the literature so that you

Don’t even hear me talk



But that’s okay because

Watching you quietly is

All I really need.



l.r.

I gave you the hour
you asked for
But you won't give me the minute
i need

You told me you needed
more freedom
Yet I'm still waiting
to be freed

I don't know what else
i could give you
Your love is becoming
greed

I don't want this relationship
anymore
But I'm waiting for you
**to leave

she fell in love over gold sheets and white wine

l.r.

i don't want you to be
my knight in shining armour.
i want you to be my trusty
sidekick,
loyal and supportive as you
watch me learn and grow,
letting me save myself

                         l.r.