My inspirational weight loss journey,
It's like being in Street Sesame,
Just keep saying, "No cookies!"
And no ice cream or choccies!
So, as well I'm gluten free,
I did reduce by 35 kilos, you see,
My inspirational weight loss industry!
Let's hear it for, "Good for me!"

I have found some weird things in my time,
I went to a footy dinner along the line,
The young lads were flicking peas,
And all their vegetables, if you please,
When home, my hair was full of carrots and peas,
Never went to footy dinners again, you see,
We do learn from experience, dodge them peas!
"Boys will be boys!"  I ponder so wisely......

Well, it's my old friendship refrain,
Really good to see you again,
It's as if we never paused our conversation,
Today's smiles are no imitation,
We take up where we left off,
Welcome, old friends, thanks a lot,
And a surprise visit as well,
Old friendships have their own spell,
It's like we're never apart,
Old friendship's place in our hearts.....

We meet again, so soon,
It's lovely to say hi to you,
Isn't it a beautiful day?
And by the way, what was your name?
The first time I forgot your face,
I'll just smile, bless you with grace....
It's so lovely to say hi to you,
Must chat again, toodledoo!

People do like mischief and chatter,
Really, what does it all matter?
It is only about chaff and stuff,
In 100 years, we shall all be dust,
This is what makes me meaner,
As I empty more dust from the vacuum cleaner,
We shall all be a little pile of dust,
And our pets, a tiny heap of fluff!

Here's an ode to make us laugh,
Boomers resilient to the last,
Survived high school in  the sixties,
Where we learnt cookery,
Girls did not have *****,
Couldn't do woodwork, over it!
Instead, made a pudding of suet,
Fat, fat, fat, eating to rue it!

We three Kings of Orient aren't,
Three queens, we travel from afar,
We arrived on time,
fed sheep and swine,
Delivered the afterbirth,
Cooked food, and then made Peace on Earth, Oh....
(Sing chorus),
Star of wonder, star of light,
Star of royal beauty bright,

We didn't get lost going home,
We didn't leave Mary all alone,
We swept the stable,
Gave her soup in a ladle,
After the afterbirth,
We then made Peace on Earth, Oh....
We three Kings of Orient aren't,
Really three Queens, we came from afar,
We arrived on time,
Fed sheep and swine,
Delivered the baby at the birth,
Then we made Peace on Earth...Oh...
(Sing chorus).....

Here is a twisted tale,
Snickers without fail,
Imagine if he loved me,
Like I love the person, he,
I guess we all have our fantasy,
Some are quite healthy,
Twist in the tale, indeed,
Imagine if he loved me,
Like I love the person, he......

Label each other,
What a witch! Just like mother,
Genes passed to smother.

This is a subject worth a look,
Is love an excuse to write trite books?
Or is it so we can write silly songs,
Only because we get along?
Or is love,  magic and chemistry?
Between people like you and me,
A loving couple, a perfect union,
Does society fill us with this ambition?
Or is love only a fable, a myth?
Only part of humanity's monoliths?
I guess love is a normal human emotion,
All feelings are part of being human,
Yes, love appears in diverse ranges,
We, can, indeed, love total strangers,
I'll note this one in my poetry book,
The topic of love is worth a look!

Yes, it's male Sundayitis,
AKA masculine vaginitis,
So, it's footy Sunday again,
Your great god Baal of sin,
Ever tried to lighten up?
A smile on your face of life's cup,
No, wake up negative!
Lucky for you I am so positive!
Men, **** yourselves on the front grass,
I've mopped the floors, that'll last,
Always keep on smiling,  I say,
For once, you too  have a delightful day!

Would I love a nook and a book?
My fantasy world, imaginary,
To me, every book is worth a look,
Even an old dictionary.

Would I love a nook and a book?
Meet some new friends for free,
I could sit and read in my cosy nook,
any book, like Pictionary.

Would I like a nook and a book?
Yes, for these would trade the Earth,
Reading books, in a nook, no sooks,
Yes, nooks and books are what it's worth.

WHEELS!!
Car insurance policies,
Snafu in technology,
Male methodology,
Some men are kind and comical,
Some are not so logical,
So-called men and their vehicles,
If they've got tyres and testicles!!!!!

"Open door!" yells he,
"Outta way, need a wee!"
After piddle,
Timeless riddle,
"What's for tea?"
"Can't chat!' says she,
"Need a wee!"
So you and me,
Aging bladders for you,
"Where's the loo?"
Anywhere you go,
Wait, soon you'll know!

This is a twisted tale from me,
The place where my heart used to be,
That's what you get for exploiting me,
All bully's privileges revoked,  you see,
You're expecting, like, favours, and cups of tea?
Men, don't abuse crumpet and crumpet, prithee!
The place where my heart used to be,
Such a twisted tale from me.......

While I was sleeping,
Our city streets were  keeping,
The homeless of a parochial town,
Waking alone, no food, only frowns,
How has society dragged them down?
No food, no shower, no protection,
Thousands of homeless in our selection,
In this our lucky country, we're sleeping,
While homeless, the city streets are  keeping.......

Here is a rare read,
About a whisper of love, indeed,
I see love even in every tree,
I see love in flowers like these,
As  I feed my miracles of birds, like doves,
I sense a whisper of love,
Maybe there is a God above,
To make all the whispers of love,
There is no glory in a world of dust,
We all know planting trees is a must,
I'll stand here, and feed my wild doves,
Indubitably, these are whispers of love........

Yes, it's a lovely day, you say,
Is it your white wedding day?
Or is it a political funeral?
All set for a divorce, young gal?
Think it through a bit longer, eh,
Before that lovely white wedding day!

Whitney went fishing in the pond,
She wasn't alone too long,
But...she got mixed up with ****,
She should have bought a gun,
Definitely O'Deed the wrong one,
Not her idea of fun,
Whitney wasn't on her own too long,
Now we can't hear her songs,
She should have bought a gun,
Definitely O'deed the wrong one.......

When  did  I learn somewhere,
That Capitalism does not care,
Should have realized when  I was young,
Economies flourish best with guns,
Over here in Oz, you see,
Iron ore and uranium, basically,
These fund our economy,
Is the human race naive?
Depends on what you believe,
Uncle Sam will want you and you,
Take care, young chicks and dudes,
Armed conflict soon everywhere,
When the Covid antidote is here,
Capitalism does not even care....

Who is a good person to know?
Each has a path to follow,
I do good things for others, you see,
Remaining kind  and so friendly,
Hearts do need folk to look after,
Souls need peace and laughter!
My path is that of a bard, as well,
Who is good and really swell?
I am being modest, what the hell!

Who's dancing today?
Let's dance, I'll say,
As we age this way,
We'll dance on anyway,
Only in our minds, eh!
Let's dance across the floor,
As we did in days of yore,
Let's keep on dancing, I say,
So, who's dancing today?

What did  you wish to be......
Kids growing up, like you and me,
Did you wish to join the ballet?
Or to be  a fireman, to save the day?
Maybe an astronaut, from afar,
Or did you want to be a movie star?
So, what did you turn out to be?
After growing up, like you and me....

Here, this a noble book!
400 pages of total sook,
Let's turn the page and have a look,
Why the team did lose,
Didn't the supporters boo,
It's published by OUP,
Snivelling galore, read  and see,
"We was robbed!", we all got that,
"Did not pull the flag out of the hat!"
"We was too slow and small!"
We got that, is that all?
"No, the umpires are maggots and cheats!"
Got that! "Gee, the team played weak!"
Got that, any excuse for you,
"Our team are bunch of tools!"
Got that, "They had no skills!"
Got that, "They're a pack of dills!"
Any excuse, now blame the coach again,
"Another year of footy down the drain!"
You're supposed to be good losers, eh,
Any excuse for you, that's the way!

What is your wildcard, gals?
Did you get a *******, or a pal?
For some, it's standing room only,
Women work, men sit down, TV moanies,
It's called the wildcard for women,
Is he a snag or a caveman?

Long ago and far away.
I drank a glass of wine one day,
But I was allergic to grapes,
Wine o'clock for me don't rate,
Just listening to you is enough,
Whine o'clock now, tough!

Winter warmth, comfort eating,
Dog house took some beating,
Dog got fat, so did I,
Sunny clothes did heave their sigh,
Guess, Dog, this is our fat day,
Thinner salads shall hold sway,
Lettuce shreds, lack a day,
Fat days, thin days, my yo-yo way!

Wise words implanted in human young,
"Behave yourselves, you're young!
No need for you to rebel,
Follow the rules we tell,
But who listens at any age?
Same as in Sumerian days!
"You young have no respect,
Boys look like girls, what the heck!
Your music is total trash,
Your verse is gibberish, ash,
Yes, 4000  years of rebels,
Who follow the rules we tell?

Right now, wish I was windsurfing,
Or maybe  even parasailing,
But, at my age, the flab is not so teeny,
Do not look good in a polka dot bikini,
We all want to change the status quo,
Why? Humans do not need to know,
Because we are all  humans, you know........

When you wish upon a shooting star,
Your dreams are heard from afar,
The Fates note down your hopes,
Sometimes they are kind to folks,
Sometimes, that's all they are,
Wishes upon a shooting star.......

Hello, women footballers on Channel Two,
Is there anything you can't do?
And you've each got three degrees too,
But is your biology your destiny for you?
When you meet a man, the one for you,
Do you end up cleaning the loo?
Yes, three degrees coming through,
Girl footy player cleaning the loo!
Hello there, women footballers on Channel Two,
Sad but true, sad but true,
**** it up, biology is destiny for you!!!

Are we a sorority?
Empowering chicks, you see,
In a minor way, prithee,
This is a wish for thee,
All gals to achieve,
Their hopes and dreams,
Best wishes to the sorority......

I gaze at nature's scenery,
The flowers in all their finery,
A wonderland of marvels, flowers,
Maybe some showers bless our hours,
Of the glory of nature's scenery,
The miracle of floral finery.....

I'm a lit. addict, I guess,
I read and write, no less,
In my room where  I don't confess,
Read, and keep on scribbling, eh,
Hope you'll read my verse one day.....

We work-to-rule, we're molls,
We are not unfeeling dolls,
Molls don't make extra cuppas for you,
We write our own rules to suit,
It's up to you to not be rude,
I say, "Pappa don't preach!" to you,
Molls write lots of rules,
They've got their own cooking school,
We cook when we want to,
The world is not run for you,
Yes, molls now have  work-to-rules.

My Muse had a strange concept,
Aussies could spread Test cricket,
Global peace from this precept,
Middle East with a new diversion,
Test Cricket's mesmerising stupefaction,
No shots daily, narcotic absorption,
"Resume hostilities at the end of the next over..."
They'll say, "New bowler's called Grover.
We'll see if he bowls a maiden over."
Large LED screens on constant display,
Test Cricket, Ashes every day,
Hours sitting in the hot sun, that's the way,
That's why there's Peace in Australia,
Without Test Cricket, Peace is a failure!
Yes, Aussies could preach Test Cricket,
My muse and its weird concepts!

Yo, Earth, this is Australia calling,
Oz has decided to stop stalling,
We have finally sent you our bless,
We've agreed to share our feral pets,
Yes, it's time at last Oz did its share,
Feral gift pet sets from Australia fair,
First, to enable total world peace,
We're mailing crocodiles to the Middle East,
You know, "Never smile at a crocodile,"
They'll eat your ISIS guns with a toothy smile,
Next, we'll donate Red Back spiders,
Look out militants, they'll sit down  beside yer!
Our third gift is some great white sharks,
All programmed for Peace in their hearts,
Finally, funnel web spiders and Taipans,
We're sharing our pets with hostile lands,
All your wars shall be a failure,
Peace on Earth, from Aussies in Australia!

Years ago, I wed a mechanic,
A token marriage, quite symbolic,
Saturday arvos, really shambolic,
I gawped at him, gazing at his dipstick,
Still working on who was  the dipstick,
Checking under the hood,
was supposed to be good,
So, that is what is really symbolic,
Dipstick gazing at a dipstick, gazing at his dipstick,
Yah! Symbolism of the futile past symbolic............

Really, there was no need to fuss,
I signed on with Yarn Anonymous,
Here I stand to confess,
I bought more wool, not less,
Then I did sign the pledge,
I took abstinence to the edge,
Here I stand and say,
I have not bought wool for ten whole days!

What bores you?
Do you accept BS too?
Yawn! Can't you get anyone better, grot,
Whining is so tiring, boring, I've got
so 'over' your whinging, you see,
I'm sure you can get someone better than me!

He smiled with his eyes at me,
Is that a cliché to thee,
One for my treasury,
He smiled with his eyes at me.

I have invented a sport called Yogates,
What, indeed, is this, if you please?
Why, for you, it is inertia, you see,
You lie under a blanket, only breathe,
You wear what you like in Yogates,
A steady state of not doing,
No, you are not doing Yoga or jogging,
In cute couture like shorties,
You are not swimming in pool or sea,
No chlorination fever for thee or me,
No lycra or spandex triathletes,
No marathons for fluoro funnies,
So, this is multi age or gender, see,
Yes, all you do is lie there and breathe,
Now you can opt to do Yogates,
Or not, it is not compulsory!

You had me with your faithful love,
You had me with your peaceful dove,
You had me with your roses,
You and I, ageing like Moses,
You had me with such holy bling,
You had me with your promising,
You had me with all your charms,
You can swoon right here in my arms,
You had me with our shared dreams,
You have me always, so it seems,
You are ever love, really true,
I celebrate gold loving, it's you!

Yes, it's true, Earthlings,
One of life's strangest things,
No one is alone,
God sent viruses to make us moan,
With influenza, no one is alone,
I'm full of germs a'breeding,
Cotton wool legs are a'pleading,
The virus is procreating,
Here I flake, incubating,
One of life's strangest things,
God sent us viruses to make us moan,
No one is alone, no?
Tongue kiss, anyone, no?????

Here you sit alone,
You used to froth and foam,
Abuse of women, eh,
Talking to yourself again,
You abused alcohol and drugs,
Now you're a winner with no hugs,
Yes, I guess that makes you a winner
of no privileges, now I'm a grinner,
Who does misogyny make a winner?
Nothing will save your morning teabag,
Fasting is good for you, dear, signed, this *******,
Now you're thirsty again,
You're the winner of a futile old age,
So, alcohol made you the winner,
Good day for a smile, I'm a grinner,
I'll never be your tea lady again, grinner,
So I guess that makes who a winner!

Can I write your bio, dear?
A scribe to relate your times here,
Who do you choose for your life story?
Your biography in literary history,
So, can I write your bio, dear,
A scribe to relate your times here.

Here I am dieting again!
Is chocolate such a sin?
I graze all day on chlorophyll,
Eating salads, I feel like a dill,
How is the serenity?
It's only five-thirty,
Really having a swell time here,
What else can I eat, my dears?

Does this mean much to you,
Force fed at Yuletide too?
Unsure if Jesus meant all this,
Tinsel town of retail bliss,
Beginning to feel like Yuletide,
Snow in Aussie ocean tide,
Swimming and drinking,
What is Santa thinking?
Overfeeding everyone,
Overstuffed games in the sun,
Does Jesus think we're crude?
Groaning, here's more food,
Gimme more gifts and a card,
Graft at Christmas, that's so hard,
No matter who's to blame,
Megastores feel  no shame,
Buy, buy, buy, right away,
Rather ceasefires this festive day,
Despite Bing Crosby, okay,
That's what Jesus would really say!