we think that we have free will
to do as we please
making decisions on our own

@journeyofdays

still
closed eyes
but awake
your pulse just kicked up

@journeyofdays

spent so long
finding quiet
those moments between thoughts
calm the mind
still the pulse
craved it forever
the quiet
it has arrived
here
now
yet
all I want is to hear your voice


@journeyofdays

when it is quiet
deep quiet
what do you hear?

spinning inside a box
creating miniature tornadoes
meeting for the sake of it
sword play without weapons
your choice of rabbit hole adventures

@journeyofdays

I tell you this story
remember
the monsters
are real

@journeyofdays

these times of the year
when we quietly reflect
I think about who you might have been
taken before I knew your face
felt your touch
called you by name
before you saw light
and took your own breath

these times of the year
when we quietly reflect
I think about the times we shared
your warmth and love
the smile shared generously
and gentle touch
your stories and games
the wisdom and love

these times of the year
I think about the hope we have
that you are still with me
the promise of presence through time and space
and by grace we will meet again
to laugh and love, like we have ever been

@journeyofdays

these times are precious
you cannot see it now
but you will come to appreciate the time
the just being here
with us
just hanging out
no pressure, judgement, or expectations

these times are essential
so you can be yourself
with those who love you
and accept who you are
even when you look like that and smell...well...interesting

these times will sustain you
when you are far away
doing your thing and living a life
building your own traditions
that these times prepared you for

@journeyofdays

thank God I am awake
now I can finally rest

@journeyofdays

it will be different this time
it will flow and make sense
I will be present
mind and body as one
and the clock restarts now
the cold war is over

@journeyofdays

dawning

comes at a time not determined by man's clock

@journeyofdays

sacred world
the world of the river
you are being watched
enter quietly aware you are just a visitor
cool green swirls gently
you are being tasted
deep magic in the water
listens to stories
along the chattering shore
deposits secrets with the mangroves
to keep safe
until the next tide

@journeyofdays

sleep was rumpled
and the dreams
well
they were not sweet

@journeyofdays

to feel more than know
that as I swim
through dark waters
you are there
with me
just beyond the darker deep
keeping watch
holding me
safe

@journeyofdays

crystalline eternal facade
forever
clean and bright
radiant
pure

did you not hear the silence as you approached
overcome with reverence and awed by the light?

siren’s call
drier than barren
caustic
deadly

did you not hear the silence as you approached
overcome with reverence and awed by the light?


the crust won’t hold your weight
reality breaks you will be sinking into the mire of
lies and confusion
stink of rot...decay smothering your
life
person
essence
soul

did you not hear the silence as you approached
overcome with reverence and awed by the light?

the mire is real
a salt pan of false purity
created at the cost of the lives
the rot below the surface
there is a reason that nature expires before the void

heed the silence
kneel not to these false gods
they will **** you.

#thisjourneyofdays

breathe it in
savour the slow pace of the cool
inhaling autumn mornings letting the particles tumble through your nose
fill your lungs, anointing your blood and soul
God, it feels good to be here again
and be overwhelmed with the simplicity

@journeyofdays

did it come with trumpets
with lightning
awe and thunder

was fury unleashed
savage
with blind frenzy

no

it came gently
whispering
I see you
then
the ground shook

@journeyofdays

deep shadow
cool, quiet, removed and safe
from here observe... be numb
and recover
the longer i stay ...the less  i want to leave
it’s easier resting here in half light ...half life
it beckons ..dances and licks at the edges of shadow
not ready yet… please ...not yet...more time
shadows deepen...but light’s roar… i hear it… it won’t leave me alone

@journeyofdays

silence goes...
seeping into cracks of the path
floating between leaves
sliding around drips from the tap in the kitchen
on the table, set before a meal
lounging between us on the couch
in what you never say
and I don’t hear

@journeyofdays

dead sky sleeping quietly
her silence
belies dangerous thoughts
suddenly
dragging me to deeper darkness

Jobira and @journeyofdays

silence* tremors beneath the surface
gathering
triggering
coalescing
new mellow musical harmony
orchestra unheard


Jobira and @journeyofdays

more is said without words
your eyes speak a cold silence
now drifting between us

Jobira and @journeyofdays

look away
no
your sin has bearing on my soul too

@journeyofdays

chasing dawn all night
greying sky
finally
now
falling asleep

@journeyofdays

sitting together
reading our
nothing that matters
just sharing our
time in the morning
with coffee
holding your breath and you holding
the space between thoughts
this slow love

you think this is real
smoke and glitter
backed up with mirrors
convincing yourself
it is all in hand
but
the floor has cracks
and
your stiletto is snagged


@journeyofdays

speak of one good thing that happened
tell  something bright
let me hear your face shine
say things are right
chase the mist of sadness
and the dullness from my mind
tell me something gentle
     we all deserve something beautiful, before we face the night

@journeyofdays

sorry
falls easily from your lips
while the rest of you
says
but
           get back to me
                                when you have yourself sorted

@journeyofdays

see you
no, you died
when you killed my soul

@journeyofdays

there are the sticky bits that just keep turning up
solvents only do part of the job
releasing the worst of it
but there is something
a code in the DNA that enables it
to mutate and evolve
allowing it to reconvene
and find its way to your shirt front
but only the white shirts
it is more obvious
the mark clearer
and you have to scrub harder
to remove it all over again


@journeyofdays

closed my eyes
and
held my breath
said the words
counted it out
but
you are still here

@journeyofdays

the stone in my chest
sits
weighs heavy
almost cannot remember the time before
it came to lodge
it knows I am writing about it


I notice it more when thinking
like now
it knows I am writing about it

distracted, feel it there.
most of the time it just presses ever so still against my heart
not letting me forget
masking
it knows I am writing about it


the stone in my chest
grinds me up
inside out
it moves around
sinks me
it knows I am writing about it

know you are there
my little ticking time bomb
opportunist without a face
it knows I am writing about it
plotting

@journeyofdays

stop
just
stop
the time for trying has passed
evaporated

@journeyofdays

churns up from nowhere
no warning systems for this type of storm
it bursts through the thin fabric
separating now from the past
the darkness
it is still very close
last night
it wore heels and was daubed with red lipstick
clicking along the linoleum
rapping out a familiar tattoo
banging at the scars in my head

@journeyofdays

is there healing in the story
...in the telling
will the pain diminish and dull it as memory fades
or add and create new meaning and terror

what sort of healing
does retelling grind off the sharp and jagged
smoothing off the splinters and planing off the rough
leaving a polished version, a diamond formed from tragedy and grief

be careful what you say
it can seem enticing
a promise of healing
to tell your story
to willing ears with open arms
will giving words to the pain
lead to a burden shared
or deepen the wounds that
that slosh around in your head

@journeyofdays

dinner done and plates are scraped
now sitting around
laughing at our stories
crazy nothing stuff
this makes it all worthwhile
God, I love my family

@journeyofdays

it is not lost on me
the way in which you snub
and ignore
living here but moving in cold circles
eddies of conversation move between us
and settle around our feet
I still believe
but see there is no longer us
except in memories and artefacts
the substance of a union now dead
as you step away
moving along a path I cannot see

@journeyofdays

sunday sun has healing powers
it tilts your mind just that little bit higher
warms the soul and relaxes the heart
rest
yes
rest in the light.

@journeyofdays

it is no weakness
to surrender to love
wholly surrender


@journeyofdays

in surrender
must I lose my heart
and my mind

@journeyofdays

it defies logic
handing over
my heart
to your care

@journeyofdays

at surrender
will I finally understand
the why
will you

@journeyofdays

in surrender
I can see
fire
and the Phoenix ascends

@journeyofdays

entering surrender
you take this heavy mantle
embroidered with pain


@journeyofdays

"survival is an art form"

art forms are survival

survival in art forms

forms of art survive

forms survive in art

this art form is my survival

@journeyofdays

what sort of fuckery is this
when spiders and flies converse
and play mahjong
suspended over my kitchen sink

@journeyofdays

tell me something
anything
I  need to hear your voice

@journeyofdays

you could be forgiven for thinking that I fell off a cliff

if that was an option I could have gone with it
           and actually I was hoping that was true
                    why do you choose to pop back into my life now
                             I thought you weren’t coming back

lovely to hear from you

@journeyofdays

the cost

of holding it together
is the thumping in my head

of trying to be normal
is fake smiling through another day

of forcing calm
is the racing of my heart

of believing in you
was what tore me apart

of trusting again
is seriously ******* me up

I couldn’t breathe
my heart gave out
I lost my footing
the world went red
my brain just stopped
I entered Hell

….and It laughed while opening that door on the day I broke

@journeyofdays