Alone
   Darkness

Surrounded by fire and shadow
Lost within depths that darkness
Can never hope to conquer away.

Doubt
    Fear

Crying and hiding alone
Not a soul near for comfort
Solitary suffering in absence.

Crushing
    Desperate**

Where have you gone
And why can I not find thee?
You are a phantom in my heart.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

I waited for you...
So long I waited for you...

Do you know how many storms I endured for you?
The battles I fought against demons to keep you in my heart?
I would have walked off the end of the world to be with you.

To call you mine...
But you never came...

The storms grew more violent and colder.
The demons became stronger over the seasons.
How long do you think I could withhold myself?

I sat alone...
You never came...

So as the frosts of this cold love overtook my heart
Coating it in a layer of ice, and letting it freeze solid;

Then you came...
And you picked up my heart...
And you dropped it on the stone floor...
Shattering it into a million pieces...
Without a second thought...

And people ask why I hate love.

I thought tonight would be the night, the night I've been waiting for. Tonight I would have told you- nay- confessed to you the genuine, heartfelt love I have for you.*

Tonight nothing happened, again. I saw your face, the same face that quivers my insides and makes my heart beat in slow motion, and I knew I could tell you absolutely nothing about my fiery desires for you.

So you still know nothing and suspect everything.
I still mumble the same mantra to myself about how I'm doing the right thing, waiting for the right time. But it's flat out b u l l s h i t and I know it. I'm scared to love, scared to lose, scared to ***** it up.

They say time heals all wounds but the wounds that love inflicts has no healing. Time can merely stitch up your cuts and tell you not to stress them, lest they burst apart and leave you bleeding out again.
Only love can heal love, and you and I are *TOO SCARED TO JUMP!

Yes, I lost her
But the pain I gained losing her
Was worth every second she was in my life
The broken heart in this chest
Holds the ghost of her tightly
And this heart
Remembers
All

Love has abandoned you and I
Not a one to lie by our side
What reason to carry on?
When all alone we are?

Is a cut wrist better than a cut heart?
I can assure you it isn't
Why?

"Loneliness is a part of our experience and if we are looking for relief from loneliness in friendship or relationship, we are only going to frustrate the friendship. Friendship, camaraderie, intimacy, all those things, and loneliness live together in the same experience..."

I think it's about time I
faced all of my devils
that I buried so deep.

I think it's about time I
woke up from this slumber
I have cast upon myself.

The man in the mirror is
so different from the man
I have always strove to be.

I'm done with maybe's
& want to's
& wish I's
& just am's

I'm going to accept the darker
pieces of my soul I kept locked
and buried away.

I lose myself in my lusts
but I never lose my care
for those who I love.

I get swallowed up in
agonies too great to understand
but I never will end it all.

I have the greatest
friends in the world
who understand why.

Thank you all for your
love and support you give
for forgiving me when I get carried away.

Love
What to say?
I painted my life
with love entirely
so I burn in flames
I die to everyone
give everyone
and I die
in love

Lamenting the light that has left this domicile/
Love has lain down never to rise again/
Lost in the liquid anguish of empty bottles/
Lust bid farewell in a rose stained casket/
Laced in black with pale skin never to touch again/
Loneliness holds me close to her/
Lurid faces meet my peaceful sleep/
Loss is the one thing I know I have/
Life's lyrics looted and left barren...

I would rather have your heart for just one day
                                  than have a million diamonds and waste away

Withering away and fading,
This game I'm tired of playing,
It's only been you I've been craving,
Love is what I'm trying to be saying.

Beach ***** fall down,
Like I fell for you,
Cuz' you're my crown,
I want you to know it's true.

So here I am on a knee,
Begging for you to see,
That I love you, I love you.

So here I am on a knee,
Begging you to see,
That I love you, I love you,
Baby come to me.

La dee da doo,
I'm in love with you.
La dee da doo,
I'll stick like glue.

Lee lee la la,
You make me haha.
Lee lee la la,
Let's never say ta ta!

Zoop a zee,
Will you kiss me?
Zoop a zee,
My love, don't you see?

Holding the skull, trying to see the soul
But the sunken eyes, nothing they behold
This darkness in me it feels so cold
The darkness in me is starting to show

Yes, I'm a skeleton at heart
No flesh or organs in me
Stare into these eyes, you will see
The shadows I love, darkness pleases

Skull and crossbones
Poison and acid
Handle with care
I'm quite fatal

there's a metaphor about
    finding something you weren't looking for
  an unexpected treasure,
       & you were that treasure
I wasn't looking for;
   like a pearl on the beach
or a star in the sky
       I got to graze you with my fingertips;
our lips have never met
    but you consume my every thought
unfold every layer of my heart,
        disarm me
you laid your heart on mine;
     so much love I want to give
even if there's a wait,
      it's worth the wait;
reflected in our eyes when they meet,
          burning candlelight,
    sunset through the window,
how I want you
    need you
  love you
on whatever is handy
     I will write...

Its the one flu that never goes away

More frequent than the common cold

More lethal than the black plague

More painful than third-degree burns

More devastating than tsunamis

More gut wrenching than death

More comfortable than sleep

This
    Desire
      Is
        Killing
          Me
         ­   But
              I'm
                Dead
                  Fulfilling
                    It.

Your cruelty as a madman will
Not be unopposed any longer.
Sweltering swagger will be your
Undoing,
Sinking you to the bottom
Of the lake.

Ravens and rats and crows
Will feast on your heinous
Bones
Come undone and be unraveled.
Accept your punishment for crimes
Wicked and debased, born of your soul.

When I see you down and blue
   all I want to do is hug you.

You feel like you're not worth it
   trust me, you're the ****!

I care about you and love you
   because you're a good person.

I've got your back, I mean it, you're fam
   I got you when people don't give a ****.

Like an old clipper, sailing on the water
My soul searches all the seas of life
Trying to find that elusive treasure
Not made of gold or silver.

Guided by shining lights placed in towers
Guided by twinkling stars blazing in the sky
I find my wondering ways through the world
Living all the great stories yet untold.

Within the bounds of all four corners
Of this sphere we all claim as home
I search for that elusive treasure
Not made of jewels or gems.

And when I've passed on and sunk
No longer kissing the water's surface
I will be remembered always, forever
Like a ship in a bottle.

Death has a thing for me
Always trying to ****** me
Giving me passionate kisses
Wearing revealing clothes

Death is quite gorgeous, actually
A charming personality unrivaled on earth
A figure that Elizabeth Banks is jealous of
And a killer instinct that's always fatal

But I resist her temptation
Because I have a thing with life
She's so much hotter anyway
Because she's my awesome wife

'Til Death do us part

Marry me in black:

Love has become twisted and scarred in my apathetic heart
A wretched torture chamber of unfilled dreams and wasted time
Lost hearts and broken memories
Too heavy a price for nothing in the end

Contrasting

Bury me in White:

Let the sweet kiss of death reach my lips in the night
The Angel of Death will breathe into my lungs and peace shall reign
Sweet charity of being free
Hope filled of life evermore

Marry me in black; Bury me in white

Do masks hide us from others?
Or ourselves?
Why do we try for perfection?
Why not honesty?

A masquerade party,
With charades all 'round,
Deception, lies, arrogance,
Bequeath underlying rot.

Born of falsehood and judgement,
Be better than the person on your left,
Whoever dies with the most toys wins,
Don't you dare take off your mask.

Ignorance is bliss
Yet I must admit
Arrogance kisses
Much sweeter indeed

Like a sweater in snow
Your mother is cold
The pattern is checker
Move to New Mexico

The antelope of old
Yet stories seen
On a blanket bold
In yellow and red

Drab;
  Dreary;
    Bleak;
A grey mood.

why can't I remember my dream last night?

The sun shines;
  I focus on the clouds.

there was a skull involved

Laughter down the street;
  I stay straight-faced with thin lips.

why was I desperate to survive?

An aroma of coffee fills the air;
  I type at my work,
    I try to forget it;
It bothers me...

*what was my dream last night?

I think it's time for me
to stop counting the days
with notches on the wall
about something
I never really had.

It's time to stop
living in the past
& let go of mistakes
that I made in my youth
& taste the freedom of today.

Our days are a finite number
passing with each moment
every grain of sand swallowed
by the hourglass of life
until nothing remains.

As long as you wear glasses with mirrored lenses on the inside,
You will always be right in the eyes of the person you're talking to.

Transcendent
Like a phoenix
Up from fire
Heat
Blistering skin
Of all who are
Underneath
In caves
They will hide
And scratch out
Meager living
Dripping
Forming up
Water runs
Through earth
Stalagmites
Stalactites
Pillars
Fallen down
Asleep evermore

My head knows all the reasons not
But my heart is a knot
Longing for you
To hear your voice
To hear you say you're okay
I miss you, old friend
One of these days I'll be brave
But tonight is not that night
I'll slink into the shadows
Drown in the shallows
And mourn the fact
I still miss you

Yeah, we're broken,
Torn apart and led astray,
Scarred by wounds you never see,
Jaded against the world and it's beliefs.

We are the misfit *******,
That keep loving through the pain,
Because we'll take the hits for the rest,
Because we know that we are the best.

So raise your bruised arms up high,
Let the world see your black eyes,
Cuz we know we're misfit *******,
And we're proud to bleed for you.

Misfit, misshapen, misplaced
Not fitting in anywhere
I'm a pariah, a loner, a coyote
Stalking the fringes of society
Never seen, never heard, never felt
Only dreamed, and imagined, and feared

If only I had a place to be
A person to see
Maybe
Maybe
I'll see brighter days ahead
And love like a dove

I am alone because I am unique
I am myself, alone, nobody else
A drop in an ocean of faces
Yet an ocean in a world of drops
Always okay, always broken
Never whole, never fractured
A contradiction of opposites
A unity of abnormality

Opportunity missed,
Like a highway exit,
Went by so fast,
And my GPS is cussing me out.

It was like a blur,
I couldn't recognize,
What it really was,
Until it was far too late...

Opportunity missed,
Like the bases were loaded,
With only one out,
And I step up to the plate,
Hit into a double-play...

Opportunity missed,
Like she was giving me a,
Neon sign that said,
"I love you, I want you!"
Yet I walk right past her...

So I guess I'm trying to say,
Or, rather ask:
May I have another opportunity?