While you watch the moon tonight,
I hope your own eyes keep their glow.
Cry, scream, curse,
But never stop dreaming.
Cause I believe
Somewhere down the bend,
There is a train in which
the stops never end.
It will come
And you’ll be home.

July 9, 2018

Do not compare me to a flower
Flowers are only sought after
For as long as they are fresh and pretty
They are remembered for only as long as the smell lingers
Then when the drought comes
They are disposed of as easily as the wind
As if they matter not even once
As if to the hand that crushed them,
They had never offered fragrance
I shall not let myself be likened
To such creatures with tragic fates
So do not compare me to a flower.

Someday when I find myself a nameless grave
And people forget that I ever lived
I will be consoled by the singing of the wind and the rain's merciless tears
For soon after these lovely bones are ashes
And ashes were scattered and blown
Flowers shall once again decorate
This lonely earth that once had been my own.

No matter how much I try to paint my life
And decorate my own soul
At the end of the day
I always, always,
Feel grey and cold.

Deleting things I really meant
Only to replace with words of pretend
Life has always been like this for me
I say one nice thing
Take it back with profanity
Like iron walls surrounding me like a prison
It remain's all year
No matter what the season
Wolf's skin draped over my shoulder
You'll never see through exactly what i'm hiding under


©Leigh
Oct. 25, 2016

When I die,
Do not talk about me
Like I am the most wonderful person
To have ever graced this Earth;

Instead, tell them I am mad.
How my ***** nails dug ugly scars
Within my dark, burning soul
Fed with rage uncontrolled.

Tell them I am selfish.
With an eye for love I have not
That my heart rejoices but in sorrow
Only coldness and loath would grow.

Tell them I am broken.
That these crevices that he left
In the regions of my heart
Will not ever heal completely again.

That I walked wide-eyed yet half-awake
Torn between the fantasy of his lips so sweet,
And the gleam of his pointed teeth.

Tell them all my sins.
My uglies.
My glories.
And only after that,
That then,

Maybe you can tell them I was beautiful.


©Leigh
Feb. 14, 2017

I haven't cried in a while
Hannah
Why did I see your face again
Hannah
Your beautiful smile
And cheerful attitude
Despite what your going through
How can you do it Hannah?
You inspire me
Hannah
You were so strong,resilient, beautiful
Hannah
I never knew you more
You don't even know my name
Though I'm sure of one thing
God loves you more than all of the living

No more worries, no heartaches.
You let it go and it's okay
Let's just put it this way,
the sea is too big for only one fish and who knows?
Maybe you'll catch a much bigger one next time!
So regret this action a little, or for a bit,
or for a while,
but not for the rest of your life.

I'm such a disappointment I know,
but I don't want to further damage myself
by pretending to like something which I do not.

It doesn't matter how they would reflect on your poem
Whether it would go with your feelings or defy you completely
People are dumb, different and free
And would only see what they choose to see

I like to think good thoughts and dreamy encounters
When I finally retreat to bed
But my exhausted mind would only open
To sad, and lonely worlds
That by now had been all warm
And most familiar to my heart

She wants you to know
That she's not the same person you knew a year ago
That she no longer stays up until the end of time
Just to wait and read about your **** reply
She’s still indecisive about what to wear on Sundays
But she no longer needs your advice;
Unsolicited or not
She stays awake until the AM watching subtitled movies,
Not because of that text you sent
Or any other *******
Also she no longer creeps on that girl's Facebook
and yours too, for that matter
That she sometimes cry
But it's no longer because of you
That life is hard and she still has a long road to go
But she does not mind spending it without you

I used to think I'd  have it all
That everything will fall
Into my hands the way I want
Then at one point
I come running back to you
my tied feet and hands
digging for comfort
my battered heart
searching for solace
I always thought
that if I leave
I'd be totally free
But in reality
You are the one thing
that makes me complete

Let's just accept the fact
that I am not destined
to have the things they get
or live the lives they have
that their achievements
is not what I should aim for
that I should set my own realistic goal
that when the ripe age comes
I shall conquer the way I want
Also, I should remember that instagram
does not always show the full picture
that for even just a little,
there's a lie lurking there somewhere

you left me so unexpectedly
didn't even give me a sign
why didn't you make me understand that
that time I held you close in my hand
was the last, EVER, that you'll be mine?

i'm used to the pain
but sometimes it gets unbearable
i want to scream
cry, and stab my foe
all at the same time

Be very careful in choosing your friends
They’re not always as they seem
Some would stand by you even in the desert storm
Some would sell your soul for thirty silver coins

People**
No matter how much you try to show them
Would only see the things they prefer to see

I hate the world for they do not understand
When I say "I'm ok" or "I don't need a hand"
Promised to be there in good times and in bad
But when things seem wrong they were the first to get mad

I hate the world for they don't see
This demon lurking inside of me
I put up with a smile to hide the pain
Though in my eyes it will remain

I hate the world for they tricked me to believe
That love is a real deal and this is how I should live
Said it was forever, said it wouldn't hurt
Then why am I broken, helpless, lying in the dirt?

I hate myself for I carelessly let her fall
In this hole of wonder, never should've heed the call
For the story was a myth, there wasn't a talking rabbit
My sense of reality, I regret to let it slip

I hate you, hate me, hate the world in all its glory
We are the monsters living within
The very villain of our story

So hold your tongue my dear old friend
Cause no amount of words could mend
This poisoned heart that He has lend
We are all liars in the end

It's sad how they only refer to quitters as losers
How they slap it on our faces
That we will never be the victor
Perhaps they didn't know
You had too much
Perhaps they didn't see
You've fought too hard
Perhaps they couldn't feel the pain
You've so long endured
They can't because they were so busy judging
They're all the same

I'd give up everything to kiss the moon

Who got a helmet
I'm losing my mind
We used to run along
But now we're running out of time

Said you'd hold my hand
Said you'd make a stand
But what am I doing here
Alone in this island?

We were the stars that align
Shining alongside the night sky
We thought it was forever
Then the sun came and lighted us over

She was always too smart, too afraid, too strong
Too cautious to fall in love
Too perfect to get hurt

Always on guard
Always in charge of her heart
Eyes always open wide

But behind this fort that
She's learned to build around herself
She's as vulnerable as a child
Who can't afford to cry

So this is the part that we'll see each other last
The time we'd try to bring up, think about the past
Wishing we hadn't gone
Hoping we could come back
Cause childhood means comfort
And we made the mistake of growing up

Maybe I just don't have the power to extract loneliness from my being

Maybe loneliness is part of my soul

*Maybe loneliness is me

Loneliness
I presumed
Is being friendless and alone
But now I realized
It is something more

Loneliness
Is laughing with friends
Yet still feeling numb

Loneliness
Is being surrounded with all the ones
You know who loves you
Yet still feeling so alone

Loneliness
Is getting that one thing you've always wanted
Yet at the end of the day you still feel empty

Loneliness
Does not come at 3AM
When everybody else
Is either asleep or dead

Loneliness sometimes
Surges at the brightest of your days
And pours down like rain

I wonder
If under different circumstances
Am I gonna feel
A little different too
Or am I really just destined to constantly feel this way?
Eternally sad and isolated?

I'm pretty sure
I will pass through Earth
As just another lonely girl
Unwanted and unloved
But still thriving

I talk about death when i'm sad

Not even three months into adulthood
And yet i'm literally so done with life

Thanks for looking at me
Even though it didn't last
Your memory I'll cherish
Til the day I turn to dust.

I don't want to be a trend
I just want to be a part of history

Every little trouble keeps me up at night
Even the littlest difficulty makes me worry,
Every inch of step back lessens my already exhausted faith,
Even the slightest of pain makes me want to quit.
I don't know why
But i'm so ******* weak.

I know you're tired and you want to put it to rest
But this can't be the end of it
Remember all those things you'd always dreamed you'd have?
All these famous guys you made yourself believe you're destined to marry,
Those places you'd excitedly mapped out in your head,
That plan you had, that once you're free you'd roam the world
Please
I know it's hard
And the future seems more vague than ever
But please try to endure
Please, even just a little more

I've turned a blind eye
For so I long i've tried to deny
But now I can no longer hide
My life is doomed
And I have to say goodbye
To the bright future I've always dreamed about
To the good things I always thought I'd have
My dreams are ruined
And I could've have blamed my parents
Instead I'll just blame myself

Hindi ko malaman kung anong dahilan
At ngayon ay nagsimula akong malibang
Sa taong dati ay halos kamuhian

I want to apologize for being a sad person

*Sorry if I can only write sad poems

I smile for the camera,
For my friends,
For the people who matter,
And sometimes
Even those who don't.

I act like i'm alright
That I live a blissful life
Even when inside i'm dying
And unhappy as hell

This constant battle
That's eating me up alive
Is a fight for freedom
That can never be won
A mind inside my mind
With a war of it's own

I will always be alone
I know,
I will always be alone
And one day I will be forgotten
But the pain will never end

Deep in my young heart
I've always had this empty longing for the past
My heart silently bleeds for thy
Like it was a lover gone forever

I love history books because reading so
Puts me in a blissfully euphoric,
Yet miserably nostalgic trance
That would later make me ache for it even more

I miss the places I've never been to,
I yearn for the company of people I never met,
I crave those olden days I have never had the chance to live,
I adore those who have long been dead

Here I am, always craving, always wanting, always waiting,
For that polite, serene, and old-fashioned pieces of love
To happen to me too
When will I ever get to feel
That genuine humanitarian compassion they had long ago?
I'm afraid to be just another lifeless photograph
Withered by time

Never being genuinely happy
Is the price for intelligence

People are like ducks
Even when their brains are small they quack

Everybody thinks she's full of life
When she's struggling to keep herself sane deep inside

Bitter thoughts flooding me again
I don't know how to swim
Almost up my neck now
Somebody help me
Save me from drowning

I'm sorry you have to feel this way
I'm sorry if I can't do anything
I'm sorry if this will be just another poem
I'm sorry if your life had been just a sad song