i never understood your motive sweetheart
it was either
loving me like I'm your only salvation
or
cutting my lifeline out of pure misery
and neither of them
almost felt the same.

the pulse of my heart
rushed
to greet
the rising crease
of your smile
my pretty pretty girl,
i would tally every beat of my heart
that echoes through my rib cage
and give u the receipt
as evidence of my love for you

and from a distance
i counted the pigments etched on your face,
your mother was a good painter.
in the windows of my eyes,
i connected the dots,
traced them,
articulated them,
to the point i found big dipper
near the creases
of your eye brows,
i found orion
beside the stretch of your smile,
and virgo
rested against your cheek.
you brought the entire
constellation in this room.

and from a distance,
i stargazed.

melancholy tastes good off of wounded fingers
a hand clutched on a pen
i will write the pain away
with a broken heart
in the name of art

you pasted scars all over my back
And showered it with salt
"Did you shout?"
Darling, how I wish I could.
I struggled to make a sound.
Any sound.
A mere whimper is enough to suffice my ears,
Ears that have been worn out by the walls.
Screaming at them.
screaming at me.
only the sound of the whip slashing against my bare skin has been keeping me company.
Hell, it almost sounded like a song.

she calls me
gamine
for a girl who hides her masculine hands,
an adam's apple forcefully shoved in her throat
and a voice that makes men question their masculinity
her words shed light on
the darkest places i hide the pieces of me i fear to show
and i am basking in her light
proud and loud.

this global catastrophe,
happened when a group,
of people called society,
decided to do something,
beyond their sanity,
calling this massive destruction,
we made,
humanity.
you see,
these people who come,
from different varieties,
preaching from any type of equality,
knows nothing of the prophecy,
that's leading them into,
a catastrophe.
their heads stuck to their,
devices,
little did they know that the,
ice is,
melting.
don't you hear trees,
crying?
when our brutal machines cut them,
we're not even trying?
and yet we still believe,
society thinks,
brutality is somewhat,
less beyond our sanity,
making this world,
a global catastrophe.

a stick
of
nicotine
will keep
my thoughts
of you
unseen

maybe love
is a shot of expresso
i should not have taken
hours before bedtime

there's always that phase in life that we never get used to.
like a favorite song, we rewind it and let the notes break us.

falling in love
is already suicide itself

giving in to people is like
taking a brick off a dam,
dangerous.

Darling, you know what they say
Karma's a *****
Everything u say, everything u do will always come straight back to you.
All the things and all the words I've said to you, done to you came running straight back to me like a thrown boomerang. I've always said I'd never be that girl. Id never be that girl who's mind constantly always hovers around boys. I'd never be that girl who's constantly moving from table to table on crammed bars at 2 am like a morning vacation. I've always said I'd never be that girl who's tongue would be traveling from men's mouth,raveling,battling, teeth clashing.I've always said I'd never be that girl who'll drink her soul away over a boy who molds her into a clay that consistently tells her to do this and that, over a boy who constantly reminds her to wear that because she's fat, over a boy who tells her to say this and that. I've always said I'd never be that girl that'll ditch her friends, I've always said I'd never put anybody on the latter, I've always said I'd keep promises and give you what your heart desires. I've always said I'd be that friend that'll walk with you in the rain with no cover, I've always said I'd be that somebody that'll promise you I'd never be like the others. But the "others" became me. I became the product of every thing I never wanted to be. So here I am playing fire and gets burned after. Here I am dancing with the devil and complains why I'm in hell. Here I am oblivious to the consequences. I am the girl of everything I never wanted to be.

did you visit me out of sympathy
or were you there just for the sake of  the gossip
because your words don't match your actions
when you asked me about my well being
but you looked at me
like i was too dangerous to be kept alive

I was too much, you said
then find less
and I will find more
and I found more
there is abundance in her kisses
and an ampleness in the way
she says my name
see the grin that eternity carves into her flesh
as she chants each letter of my name
infinitely,
intimately

i kissed you
and the faint taste of alcohol
lingered
on the tip of your tongue
it reminded me
of when we
danced
recklessly
endlessly
breathlessly
under the influence
of liquor.
of such a vile that is
strong and bitter
that matches my soul  
nobody could handle except me.
but when i devoured your lips,
soft and mild
bittersweet like
champagne mixed with strawberries
under a starry night
i
savored
every moment.
never have i ever
seized
something
that could be addictive
and destructive at the
same time.
with lust and liquor
stirred on the same glass
there's bound to be some trouble
and i admired your bravery.