kabaw ko lain na tao ang gi pili sa imong kasing kasing
kabaw ko walay kita pero kung mangayo kog chansa
ang matubag ra kay
"basin."
basin
basin ma kaplagan nimo ang mga tula
na akong gi pang sunog kay dili na kaya nako
ang mga padunggog na kita na.
kita na.
pero ikaw mismo ang nag ingon na inamiga ra
pero sa pag lihok mura nag gugmang di na ma solba.
di na ma solba sama sa mga taong kasing kasing na mag sigeg duda,
sama kamo na mag away tungod sa mga na dunggang sturya
na kita na.
kita na miskan naa nakay imoha.

it hurt more
to strike
the match
than it did
to start the fire

sama sa imong gi pang buhat sauna
sama sa imong gi pang ingon na  wala jd koy chansa
sama sa sakit imong gi dala
gi puggong jd nako tamans ginhawa
lupa ko, langit ka
-7.27.17

craving a cigarette on my lips
something addicting
intoxicating
something equivalent to her kisses
my midnight mistress
how long can we keep this?

"she loves me, she loves me not."

those six words rang on my eardrums like alarum bells
reminding me in every beat my heart makes.
they swam through my throat and into my chest; knocking on my
rib cage telling my heart not to fly whenever she says hi.
doubt comes barging on my door like an unwanted guest.
reminding me that in every moment, every gesture she makes are a product
of
mixed signals.

i lit my cigarette like a birthday candle
and i wished for your name
everyday
through my puffed up coughs
and bleary eyes

u are good moments disguised
in bad decisions.

and when u feel like
im no good for u
please let me go

i remember the way your hair shined through the sunny day
studying the way your eyes flutter every time you stutter
the words you cant say
i remember how pleasing your voice was beneath my ears
i remember being with you
washed away my fears
do you remember the days where we used to lay in the shade?
forming figures in the clouds
having long conversations for hours
nights where we stayed up late
getting into stupid debates about who's right or wrong,
picking out the right song to play over and over again.
remember how we fought over stupid stuff?
and even though times get rough, we'd just laugh it all up
do you remember when we met in September?
in english class where the hours didn't last
and that's where it happened so fast
creating memories that we thought would remain
but all we created
was pain
and that was the last day i saw you.
sitting on the bench
with another girl
my heart clenched
cheeks tear-drenched
my pride craving for revenge.
listen darling,
i just want you to remember
from the beginning of september
remember the long-lasting splendor
the last moments of us being together
because i remembered
and dare i keep it in my heart forever.

if i stopped loving you,
wouldn't
all
the
love letters
i wrote
lose
its
meaning
?

the things i had to beg before
just to be loved
are the things I've been receiving
effortlessly from her
like i am entitled to it
like i deserve it
like i don't have to be on my knees to ask for it
to ask for the slightest fragment of her heart

I want to love her with my eyes wide open
and my heart a bottomless chalice
love  should be unafraid
to look me in the eye
when it sees me
so do not look at me with one eye closed
and tell me I am the prettiest thing
you've ever known
I want my lover to take me in
fully
completely
entirely
let your gaze
drink at the sight of me
a glass full of love
sip it slowly, my dear

how could a person
ever muster the courage
to say
"im sorry."
when he's used to saying
"i forgive you."

i want to scramble your words and turn them into paraphrases
that way
i can reciprocate every understatement that clings in your tongue

A foreigner,
In an unrequited world.