I am rejected by society
I am out of place when I am near people
I am called ugly by others
I am called weird by people who don't know me
I am called useless, worthless, a speck of dust lying on the floor, waiting to be thrown from garbage can to garbage can
Reality is now slipping from my fingers like a picture that is made of smoke
How should I last when my body is so weak that I may crumble away?

In the rain of my own tears I always go through
Without any umbrella or rain coat
I don't even know why I am still alive
Problem after problem, the pain never goes away
How do I even last through this awful storm?
Yet, it never floods, the rain just keeps pouring down
Down and right into my very soul
My soul that has been fed up for too long
Can no longer hold the sadness and pain that I've been hiding
My smiles are just fake, you see
I always wear a mask with a bright smile painted onto it
But, behind the mask, my cheeks are always wet because of the never-ending flow of my tears

People always ask me why I seem so sad when I am quiet
It's funny, really, on how you guys don't even know even if the answer is right there
The tears forming in my eyes, is the answer
No, they are not tears of joy, you idiot
Are you that stupid like an early human being from long ago?
Look at me. Crying right in front of your eyes yet you can't even sense it!
I am slipping quietly into the hole of eternal darkness
No, not eternal darkness, but oblivion

The reason why I am always feeling like this behind the mask that I wear
Is because you people told me that I cannot be more
How insenstive you creatures are!
Just because you are popular doesn't mean that you can bully right away
Just because you are older doesn't mean that you have the right to say that to me
You are starting to make me feel like a canvas waiting for its painter to paint life and color in to me
I feel so blank
I feel so ******
I feel so sad
Everything that I'm seeing right now is starting to turn grey, black and white
The colors of sadness, I call them
Because I am a book that is full of unnecessary writings that covers the content of my life
I am now called 'untitled'
For people didn't know which insult to go by me whenever I pass them at the corridors

no matter how much
i try to keep
holding on,
change my ways,
and look in the
******* mirror
that i hate so much,
i just can't see
a different
kind of me.

crying myself
to the temporary
peace of slumber,
sometimes i wish
it would last
forever and ever.

don't you get
too close,
for i lose all
common sense
when i no longer
see the light.

i'm sorry.

What happens in a year
May quite be so queer
Yet the events that I can't forget
Are in the colors of a painting palette

Yet there is this person who never
Managed to at least get mad at me, like ever
A person older than me
Who now made it easy for me to see

To see the things people never thought about life
Yet the attitude he always displays is always blithe
He is a master of mine who thought me many
So that I may overcome any

Here I am grieving for him to stay only now
As I silently curse myself while I beg as I bow
Please remain here with me
Because with you, I feel so free

But yet you want to leave to let yourself fly
So... Here is my hello and my goodbye...
I will miss you so
Please take care of yourself so you may not go down low

past in a glaze,
   a veil of haze,
   cannot reminisce,
   lost time with
   you.

what has once broken the heart
into pieces that were dreadfully
unrecognisable

can no longer be pieced together
by the five lettered word
that i waited to hear from you
from so long

just shut up, alright?
you were never there for me

the concept
of an afterlife
qualified
only for
the most
holy of holies
is what scares
me
the most.

what if
i've been
good
my whole life,
but one part
of my heart
makes my
entry
rejected?

so what if
i'm gay?

at least
i'm not
as immoral
and hypocritic
as
you.

it's a mess of
our hair strands
being tangled
and our breaths being
matched by its
timing

the closeness
of our lips
yearning to
feel the other's
desire

our hands
being entwined
like puzzle pieces
that were meant
to be

oh, how lucky
i am
to be me

your disheveled yet
soft hair that's been
run through
and through
with my hands

your chest
that heaves
in breaths in a
way to
calm down
the leftover
excitement

your eyes
that look at me
with such affection

your lips
on which
i placed
countless kisses
all over

our hands
entwined ever
so loosely
yet stays
as it craves
the other's
touch

you're so
*******
beautiful

sometimes,
i just don't know
how to get
other people
to listen to me
in return.

i give them
all my time,
all my love,
all my attention,
yet it just
feels like
i don't get
reciprocated
the same way
enough.

i need
a listening ear
and a shoulder
to cry on, too,
you know?

please
help me.

all the same,
no matter
how much
time passed
us by,
my love for you
will always
stay the same
even after
a hundred days
of pouring rain.

ups and downs,
twists and turns,
my heart will
never stop
to yearn.

always.

can you see
these scars
that have embedded
itself upon
my forever-
aching heart?

i look at
the mirror
and always
see someone
who i no
longer know.

i can't
get back
what i lostー
a genuine,
loving smile;
and time that was
wasted in
believing
false hopes.

the pain that
i will always
feel everyday
can only be fixed
by these
artificial
bandages.

the aroma
of the coffee
was not what
kept me distracted.

nor was it
the loud voices
buzzing all
around me.

the people
talking about
how their day
wentー
that was not it
either.

it was you,
the unique presence
of your loving soul
that sat across
from my chair
that made me feel
at home
amongst strangers.

presence
of mind,
no longer
there.

neither
is the will to
give all
of my
best,

nor the
time to
know
how to
let it
out.

i'm just
barely
surviving.

in the midst
of it all
despite the
foundation
being of
toxic ground

a flower
found its way
to bloom
after plentiful
struggles

i am
that flower

sitting
in my room,
phone in hand,
thoughts
all over
the *******
place

typing
then clicking
the go
button
to put out
whatever
is in my mind
at this
very moment
to the world

what the hell
it'll be
better
(i guess)
when i finally
get
some sleep

step up
your *******
game.

i can see
through the
jealousy
that you
hide inside
of your heart.

don't you dare
get mad
at me,
for your envy
is as ugly
as your
egoistic bruise.

i won't
hesitate to
switch things up,
you underground,
with me
up above.

it was on
this very day,
that one
among eight
shining stars
was allowed
to grace
upon the
earth.

a soul
whose passion
lies heavily
on music
and the arts.

they truly are
a beautiful,
loving, and
kind sun drop.

ups and
downs,
they've been
through
it all.

She approached you for she had no doubt,
Tapped your shoulder so you could turn around,
Turn around to face her,
To face her and see her scars,
The scars that you caused indirectly yet to so painfully,
That she didn't know what to say,
Her mouth opens, finding for words to speak,
Yet she closed it again for she did not know,
A heavy heart you caused her so.

judgement
is something
we know
that must be
done fairly
and given
an unbiased
answer.

he inscribed onto
the scrolls,
every action
that affects
the history that
we make,
for lessons
to be learnt.

the truth will always
have its way
of unfolding among
the people
heavily.

indie music
playing
out loud
from my
smartphone

cold draft
of wind
coming from
the window

my little
dog
happily
playing with
their
bouncy ball

i guess
the details
are the
most beautiful

people always
ask,
"how was
school?"

or maybe,
"how was
work today?"

why is it not,
"how are
you doing?"

because
that's more
like
listening
rather than
hearing.

you say that
you aren't
perfect or
maybe even
not enough
for me.

but i will
tell you
this:
you are
the reason
why i can
find hope
in every
single day
i wake up to.

you are
my Heather.

the soul
does not
rest comfortably
until
they have completed
their goals
or
part with a loved
one

guest house
of the
moon,
please
take care
of the one
who departed
from me
who i
cherish
so

memories
or the
personㅡ
which do
i really
even miss?

my heart,
it aches
for it
longs
affection
it once received

yet it knows
that you
took it
for granted

thus,
i conclude,
i only miss
the memories
i made with you
before
you changed

it's not that
the camera
can't see
your beauty

it's the fact
that it cannot
fully grasp
that you
are such
a beautiful
soul,
inside
and out

the eyes
that glared
daggers
into my heart

the lips
that spilled
sweet words
but left
a scar
on my mind

the hands
that inflicted
pain
that seems
to be
everlasting

why do i
bless the hands
that hurt me
over
and over
again