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Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
two a.m coffee
burns my mouth, my cat purrs like
a child's wind-up toy
..
bag with old writing
packed yet I'm not going
anywhere, mother
..
the nights are no
longer young either
*hush, now, don't speak
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
An egg, boiled fresh
a matryeshka doll watches
                                                     somewhere the last train
                                                     makes it's way down the tracks
past the lakes
& the reticent pine trees

                                                          ­            the street lamps
                                                           ­           shine wearily

                                                        ­                                        & again, the rain
                                                            ­                         is starting up once more
she reads Kurt Tucholsky
' Schloss Gripsholm' with a dictionary

                                                     ­                     writing down his odd words  
                                                                ­       daintily as if they were glass,  
not to be handled
except lightly                                                          ­          the city holds her
                                                             ­                              like a child
Kurt Tucholsky was a German writer, mostly known for writing in the Berlin dialect.
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
Agatha Christie audiobook
drifts out across the dark room
all she can think of is of the one o' clock
shipping news, a swaying, seasick tune
calling to far off boats & sailors
adrift alone somewhere
thinking of their homes
a cold beer, she thinks will do
she would be writing
but no words come
she draws the duvet cover
closer round her shoulders
her lover's ghost
watches her silently
Dreams of Sepia Oct 2015
6.30 a.m in the summer was beautiful
the fresh morning splashed over the street
in rainbow puddles
in my head, an imaginary milk man
delivering his milk
from doorstep to doorstep
birds thrilled & in song
a bright yellow car
competing with the peeping sun
someone going for a run
now it's just dark
the sound of cars alone
reminds one it is morning
& I'm only just now going to bed
Dreams of Sepia Oct 2015
My unrequited golden dove,
you are a merchant banker
them bloomin' groovy bars
are sad tonight

but given the chance I wouldda gotten
cash & carried
& spent me porridge knife
loving your mince pies

had I not known
you'd treat me golden dove thus
& yes, been your trouble & strife
with all me Horse & cart.......

I know, not smart
I know, not smart


Translation:

( In English tis not a very impressive poem... it's just amusing how you can make cockney rhyming slang into a poem, so I've been experimenting.... I really want to send this to the guy I'm unrequitedly in love with actually... & leave him (hopefully)confused & in the dark as to what I wrote....mostly I just really want to call him a ' merchant banker' e.g ' ******' & get away with it!! xD ' ******' is a particularly offensive term to use when referring to a man!)

* My unrequited love
you are a ******
them ****** stars
are sad tonight

but given the chance I would have gotten
married
& spent my life
loving your eyes

had I not known
you would treat my love thus
& yes, been your wife
with all my heart

I know, not smart
I know, not smart
Cockney Rhyming slang  is a rhyming slang that comes from East London.....I'm just learning it/discovering it for myself for fun.....
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
A harbor town, just like this one, swept up in fog
the seagulls, ghosts emerging from the skies

the river glistens soft & wide,
the Cranes for now are sleeping giants

he kisses her, the anxious gun pressed tight
against his hand in his pocket

he is a dock worker
she is a seamstress

they're a black & white film
because technicolor here is impossible

he is you & she is me
we speak only in French

the kids on the block
will get you the next day.
I live in a harbor town & it means I always have fog & 1930's french movies on my mind...
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
Afterall, we all think we are angels sometimes, don't you?
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
She chases the white rabbit
in the afternoons

plays blackjack
with the doves of youth

her innocence
is colored Pink

her queer dreams
are made of silk

she is the Queen
of sunny afternoons

her heart
is like stained glass

through
which the light appears

and fades


*blackjack - is a card game played in American casinos
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
All the way past Westminster
the Thames breathes rain & clouds

                                                         ­                     & the grim reaper beckons
                                                         ­                        in the iron vein moonlight
& I, I,
an I is an Eye
                                                             ­                  open wide a thousand times
                                                           ­                   & the grim reaper beckoning
Basho & the Dalai lama
might help me find
                                                            ­                                 the restless gambler,
                                                        ­                                            cards in hand
or escape the ships
that never sail past the horizon,

                                                       ­                                                     tribunals
  ­                                                                 ­                            & looking out now
from Cabot tower now past Bristol & beyond
a homeless man sits waiting
                                                         ­                                                     paper cup
                                                             ­                                            & styrofoam
& Clocks do not
tell the time

                                                           ­                              they are merely told it
                                                              ­                  yet in their vanity proclaim that they alone are it's keepers
& our only friend & Nemesis
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
for R. you're not reading this, alas & in any case you wouldn't care-

Another sunset,
the clouds stained
Warhol red, passion pink
interspersed with yellow
cider streaks
of dying sunlight
birds ****
leaves, mumbling, rustle
a snail crawls
it should be a full moon
tonight
one of the last
August moons
I'm thinking
of how that summer
in college
it was too hard to breathe
for the heat & pollution
yet how I made it
up that hill every time
birds cease to ****
leaves to rustle
a snail still crawls
August Moon rises
& I think
of werewolves
& how anyone could
be this under the right conditions
faceless office workers
doing time
ripping off shirts
wildly in the night
to howl
in ****** of mundanity
I know how you cope,
like me, you have your poetry
& I have free time
to read it
as often as I want
& to think
of your genius
breaking up minutes
into diamonds
that I keep in my heart
under lock & key
a danger, imminent
Because the guy I love is also one of the most inspirational poets I know.

- by ' Warhol red' I'm referring to Andy Warhol, the artist.
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
Angels visit this place sometimes,
when occasional fog comes down
& cloaks them in their flight

there are gelaterias
& burger restaurants in town now
& the buses still run at midnight

but when all are gone, the angels gather
at the sleeping harbor
& gaze at the Clifton lights

watching over this pirate town
guarding somebody's broken heart
perhaps now, mine

re-reading rejected love letters
shaking their sublime wings
Dreams of Sepia Jun 2015
a love song
by O. A. Unwin

for Joseph Rembrandt Clarke
poet of the Bronte Country


Immanuel Kant
'' We are rich not in what we possess
but in what we can do without''




I.


Midnight hospital rooms flicked eyelashes
off the slow duel of hours

imagine tall lynch mob grass
or Sing a Song of Sixpence or Bye, Bye Miss American Pie forever

Today I remembered my upbringing
spoke of Turner,Ginsberg,human rights,
painted, swore,tore up a newspaper


the Nurse looked at me and said
' Not doing very well now, are we''
Dear Roman Empire, Tribunals


Otherwise this Southern town's
all hills, steeples, clouds
unsteady heartbeat of sandstone swept sideways


occasional channel fog krimi & arthouse
and lives ending whiskey half way to the sky




Welcome,set down your bags
to you I am a stranger in your land
to me you were a visitor in my town

Recently I have learnt that those who love
live life on the wrong side of the looking glass
and are forever being given speeding tickets


I also wander Redcliffe Wharf these days by the swallows' nests knowing that Angels tread the earth in the form of people like you

I have been there.
I have seen the Light.
I have drained my soul
out in tears Absalom oh Absalom
I have known the Wall
of my prodigal body a Tempest
Angel wings clipped by old ladies
on Old Market bus stops
catkin feet rotating the underdressed night
under the Arsenic Wheel of Stars
I have gambled my future
on the mere shout of your name
I have risked my very life

I should be a woman serene as a fish by now in a pond by a mansion house beneath Redwoods

this is not dignified.


Dearest, did I **** up
may I call you this
or shall we be
empty footsteps
Stasi hallways
a disconnected phone

No. Wait.
I am doing this all wrong

Dearest, gentle zeitgeist poet
of Yorkshire and the North
the way your writing
fleets me of your subtle frame
remembered briefly from one night
the inner fire of your face
and eyes mysterious as pagan gods
or lonely hermit huts and bright
as Northern Seafront lights
blinking renegade the dusk
amid the heady din of amusement arcades
the smog lilt of your lovely voice
now I know these things about you
I am a Matryeshka lost
but at least it's easier to write
of imagined boyish swagger to Elvis
or the way you might also sing jazz
I belt out Duke Ellington in the bathtub
oh lets dance lets dance


Turn, turn
Sunset on Sunset
pages, pages back
I am an August rose
in bloom over you
in Welsh view suburbs
A Brothers' Grimm fairytale
that mother cuts down
and I tie it back onto it's stalk
with a vial of water
as if it's calling to me
to say  'thanks for letting me die here'
red, red, Russian red
that's no way to make your bed
but it reminds me of my Grandmother's garden
so it's also English
and then there's the thought of you
so it must be French red,
the color of love
Existentionalism and Rousseau
Elinor and Marianne
hothouse flowers or wild
I was always the latter
wild, wild
a bold freedom of a child.




in Jane Austen's ' Sense and Sensibility'  the heroines, Elinor and Marianne's contrasting characters
are described by their love of flowers. Marianne prefers wild and this
is a tribute to her free, delicate spirit, the stern Elinor prefers hothouse.








I.I


This is bad.
I'm done dancing.
actually I was recently a mermaid
& my legs still hurt on land
I can't write good poetry about this.
It's too serious.
It's all je ne sais quoi
& unknown potential of star signs
I've read of the way you wrote
of a girl all bells and incense
and think now that oh you are Love, love
love itself-fragile and kind
beneath that manner bold
and cheek as a Sunday brass band bright
' Your name's a bit of a mouthful isn't it'
that's what you said,right?
but you can't fool me,Love
are you the all the vibrant flair of gentleness in my Soul

your trance of attention to detail
the way you've loved places and people
the thought that there is such a man
pierces me like Van Gogh's last hours




dearest, dearest
you're my drug
that's just the way that I am,
or used to be
I'm a Romantic.
Neither capitalist
Nor communist?
Me too.
Soulmate.
Yep..
Drastic.

But that's
all the word that's left.
Now I'm just in trouble
and need wine.

To think I'm usually
quite good at Scrabble.
I don't normally do Kitsch.
I promise.Be Kind.
I must remind myself of this:

Love is a house of cards.
could we just be a plane trail
a radio signal
a satellite
forbidden bliss.




I.I.I


You're right
the Southern middle classes are ****** up.
as for me Dad all kindly alcoholism
and Kolobok* frame died
Step-Dad walked out.
All my umbrellas broke.

I've tried

but it was pointless loving my parents
poetry and paleontology
just can't live together.

*
I should have been an heiress
but my mother
lazily lost the place
and kept me poor & this stings
or did till I grew a backbone.
Our landlord's in New York.
Our house
is surrounded by cypress trees

You only live once.

or so I thought.
but I've lived and lost so many times
that I'm simply glad that I just bought a typewriter
for a quid
and am proud.

* Kolobok - a character from a Russian folk tale, made out of dough.

I.I.I

**** this curiosity.
A question.
Arise, arise Atlantic dreamer.
Why are you you
America, Europe and England
and goodness knows what else



By Descartes's* fire
I beseech you
are you a dream
Am I Ariel,
or else
a marvel comic heroine
pick and choose
toss your dice


Lets face it
we are both gamblers
because we're not afraid to feel
& we are both Kafka
when I read you
I'm the Zen
of my transnational dreams
I can't help this.
Where are the boys I used to kiss in my head.
This is maybe just how the Mad are.
I'm mock bubblegum brains.
You are my roman candle


as I said
I'm not a little Bristolian
& Southerner at heart
so I'm a pirate.
that's that.

I am sewing our flag in neon thread
I am eyeing you up
the way Smugglers eye up cargo
the way Kings draw up maps
the way salt melts in water

& the way books looked and felt
has always been important
so you must know
my mother read me Ruskin as a child.



Tell me, friend
could we be Northern lights
by whom & what was the last film you saw
Woody Allen,
Wim Wenders,Gatsby.
lets make a list
have you seen
'Goodbye, Lenin'
it's hilarious.
tell me of yourself

Berlin, Berlin
einz zwei drei
no, this is not the Polizei

or Blitzkrieg grandmothers
just hide and seek
Do you like gingerbread
Why is my neighbor called  Pete.

* Rene Descartes - 1596-1650, french philosopher
* Ariel - Ariel, a magical spirit from Shakespeare's ' The Tempest'
* Ruskin is one of Rembrandt's favorite authors
* I used to live in Berlin
* One, two, three, no this is not the Police
Please be kind. This is a highly personal poem. There is more to it but it's too long to post in one go. It's the true story of my love for a fellow poet & how I wandered 3 days & nights through the town of Bristol in the rain, without sleep, calling his name & later ended up in hospital against my will for what they called psychosis just because for a while I was scared for my life. A diagnosis I hope to overturn someday. The poem starts off talking about the hospital. At about this point I told Rembrandt of my love & of my tragic experience & he rejected me. This was 2 years ago now & I'm still trying to get over it. I hope to publish this poem someday as testimony to my love for R. & this experience.
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
This is a poem about nothing
not claiming true love nor hate
nor war nor peace nor death

This is a poem about nothing
not loss nor gain
nor win nor lose

This is a poem about nothing
not the greats nor the obscure
not childhood not old age

This is a poem about nothing
not the country you were born
nor the roads you travelled

This is a poem about nothing
not right or wrong
not light nor darkness

This is a poem about nothing
about nothing except your beautiful name
& just how much you matter
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
It's raining again
& I'm writing poetry again
fresh coffee in my cup

what to write, what to write
about childhood, love or human rights
the rain is falling outside

& I've done all that before
so I'm searching for the poet
inside myself & looking for

odd lines that may take my fancy
meanwhile, the rain is falling outside
& the sky can't be seen for clouds

' I'm just another poet
on a rainy day'
I whisper

the sky doesn't answer
Dreams of Sepia Oct 2015
Are you a Rainbow Child?
Bright colors imprinted
from birth upon your eyelids?
Believing we are not to be judged
nor chained by the accident
of where we came out
of our mothers' wombs,
what language our parents spoke
but by the rail tracks
that took us to new worlds
the languages our hearts learnt
believing that the journey, not the origin
nor even the destination
is what matters
do you believe
in the Glory found in
watching the starlight
of some foreign sky
& to proclaim this sky
& starlight as your own
believing in the music
of your Soul
are you a Rainbow Child
or are you a grey day
a turtle
in a shell
clinging to one people
& one place
able only to crawl
& hide inside it
upon contact
with the world
tell me,
because
I really want to know
I am a self confessed rainbow child, ha ha.
I had an international/multicultural upbringing & am tired of people from monocultural backgrounds/upbringing (including, sadly, my mother & my some of my friends) referring to/judging me & my life as based upon the place I was born, my ethnic origins, my parents' culture..I am none of those things.. my life is bigger & richer than that.
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
Come on, Lady Luck
Throw the dice, spin
the wheel or draw a straw

tell me which way to go
which of these verses
would make his heart sing

for we poets are sirens
driving men to the rocks
& the clock waits so patiently

in the corner, in on the plan
& the city is a memory
sketched in teenage graffiti

& I'm Iggy's ' Passenger'
on a never-ending train
seeing my youth calling again

passing by me
behind cracked glass
beckoning the imagination

laughing, teasing:
' Are you lucky, Miss'
the answer comes : silence

like before the beginning of the world
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
eyes dart
train station waits

                      empty footsteps smartly
                      sound

the bone parade

                      wiping make-up from your face
                      you're waving to eternity

                      but eternity does not wait
                      for you,

preferring preacher men

in stiff neck-collars
downing whiskeys

                              just as you leave
                              a butterfly dies

& newspapers the next day
print an article about the extinction

of a rare species
& the train station waits

waits
waits
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
for him a.k.a Rembrandt, a fellow poet & love of my life-

I think of you in the conservatory
of the Little Harp Inn, on the seafront
is this where you came too
is this the place you meant
in your poems when you spoke
in them of  the ‘ glass tearooms’?
a ginger waiter brings a couple
their tea. Outside, a thunderstorm is raging
suddenly, there sounds a cry:
‘’ Look, the roof is leaking!’’
& bright lightning again splits the sky
just like love, striking
Everyone laughs in wonder
& an old lady walks by in pink
outside, without an umbrella
in this, Clevedon in the summer
I took a trip to the tiny seaside town of Clevedon ( in South West England)  yesterday & this happened.
Dreams of Sepia Oct 2015
****-stained is the color of leaves falling, we say goodbye to ourselves like to lost lovers,  ripping up old love letters, tripping whiskey into the distance,

coarse wood chips of dockside hearts burned on future November bonfires spouting unholy flames, burning ourselves on the stake but once these harbor crane streets were ours & our fervent love in the making, not living on borrowed

breath or dying time, joyriding, unafraid of not wearing masks amidst the garish masquerade & someone who made us laugh & love despite ourselves was all we lived for

- remember?
I do.
.....insomnia makes me write all kinds of things....
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
I leave you in the middle of town
I hope you have a map
to get back to the bus station

Over a cider in the posh end of town
which probably cost us both more
than we could afford

after our afternoon's talk of Tolstoy
& a shared love of Enid Blyton
& musicians we both loved

we talked of what the current government
was doing to the British poor
& you told me of your own

straightened circumstances
as a child, relying on food parcels
from the Church to stay alive

& I told you how in the Soviet Union
& during the Perestroika
there was never any food in the shops

for anyone & how my mother
queued for hours to get a single pint of milk
not knowing if she'd get it

& how our life changed
when we came here
for the better

we come from different worlds,
each has had their problems
this & Poetry is what connects us.
A fellow poet from Wales visited me yesterday & I showed him around my town.
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
( for my former cat, Charlie)

Bastet slits green eyes
ancient protector of women
& children
under the iron slither of a moon
The Nile dances in her veins
as she draws near
& the last rattlesnake
breath of a mouse dances
under her.
What philosopher
could paint her grace
& viciousness
at once
or apples bobbed
at Halloween
at which she
presides in all her
ebony & majesty
Bastet - was an ancient Egyptian goddess known as giving protection to women & children & personified/portrayed as a black cat.

This poem is about my black cat, Charlie.
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
She takes her beautiful bones
& carries her woes in her purse

                                                          ­                      the shadow-men haunt her
                                                             ­            the men of the world taunt her
she is both an egg-shell about to crack
& a phoenix about to soar

                                                           ­               she's not asking for sympathy
                                                        ­                  she wants much more
than empty tears
& dry dust in her throat
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
night rain scratching
at the lonely windowpane

a house spider crawls
to the safety of darkness

cars chase stars
down hollow highways

I now believe you meant it
when we said goodbye

the last blackberries
rotted in the garden

someone said recently
there are other universes

other than ours
I believe them
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
I found you in moon-lit courtyards
amongst whispering statues of angels
& broken queer bottles

punk wind roaring in time's freefall
& Tagesspiegel newspapers
read in grave graveyards

the Plötzensee
now a pleasant place
to walk by

past the carefree
nudist sunbathers
in blissful summer

the Olympiastadion
almost forgetting
who it's maker was

but no not quite
nevertheless, good days
far out-weighing the bad
Plötzensee - a lake in Berlin near one of the former **** prisons of the same name

Olympiastadion - the Berlin Olympic Stadium which was first built on ******'s request for the 1936 games.


Berlin is a controversial place, still  in the process of overcoming it's past but it's a brilliant city.
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
Birds sing in sunset
never measure it
a task unspoken
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
This is a bookmark from your life
a bookmark in mine
a piece of paper
briefly stopping time
bringing our together our stories
or else maybe a thorn
burying itself
within my heart
' Felicity', your name
means joy but can you bring me any
did you even know
he would give it to me
the glitter, single yellow feather
carefree yet placed calculatedly
upon the red background
red as your distant country's flag
I forget how old you must be now
six, I presume
you've not yet started to ask
about his life yet prior to you, your sister
& your mother
& why should you
my moon faced stranger
all fortune cookies & rice,
straddling two worlds
from birth, a similarity
that in any other life
would make me want to call you
' sister' & forgive everything
Your birth, he
did not deserve, not being a loving
man, as you will find out
once you've grown
out of being a toy
& start to rearrange
the furniture of boundaries
if you should ever find out
about us, my mother & me
& what he did
that will be the time to see
if your heart's worth loving
if so, just call me
I'm leaving you my number
in my mind
My English step-father cheated on my mother & ran off with a much younger Chinese woman & they now have two kids, I wrote this thinking of their eldest child, whose childish handmade bookmark ( which my step father gave me when he visited me for the first time after 7 years of me not talking to him) I now keep as a keepsake, wondering about my so-called step sister. I didn't have any siblings as a child & always wanted some so sometimes I think it would be good to forget the past & connect.
Dreams of Sepia May 2015
No tram
just bus & train
red dull of suburb
& covert roses
advertising nothing
nothing could absolve
this absence of thunder
nor burn the heartstrings
of a solitary clown
whose make-up running
down his face
would have him rush into the storm
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
Our Buddleia is now in bloom
as a ' Butterfly Bush' also known
The water gathers on the purple flowers
from July's  slow, sultry rainy showers
Oh what a lovely summer sight!
When in the sun, butterflies take flight
& land upon the bush in their glory!
The Buddleia stands abandoned today
the Sunday city lies beyond
it in the distance & I'm reminded
this is such an English day
the kind we don't see on postcards
( though is talked of much)
& has to be lived through & felt
A day breathed in in great lung-fulls each
time you come back from being away
in case it disappeared & left
you reeling & sank into your memory
like Atlantis sinking eerily
into the restless Sea's waves
the Buddleia knows of this
& calls me to admire it in the rain
because it's sunday & it's raining, I wrote another poem...
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
Wings like eyes flickering, breathless soul bared to the world
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
every single new
summer day a butterfly is
born else dies
Ever think of the truly beautiful people out there. It takes courage to be a butterfly.
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
Carrot dances in a sweat
an onion laments it's death
potato sings the potato blues
the parsley is dreaming
of some tea for two
the cabbage is tired
of the baggage
it's lovers bring with them
& remembers the knife
cutting through it
the stock cube
listens to the chatter
of the bubbles
rising through the ***
& the salt & pepper
are feeling a bit hot
I have another poem about soup which is probably even more quirky & far better than this - it's called Tomato Soup if you want to look it up.
It's here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1353298/tomato-soup/
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
Wiling away someone else's
restless hours as they serve you
your elegant cafe au lait
you're flicking through newspapers
or maybe waiting for a friend
or a lover
or maybe contemplating
your next masterpiece
scribbling or drawing
on a folded napkin
or in a notebook
& watching someone
get out slowly out of a taxi
as someone rides by on a bike
& the first umbrella goes up
& it starts to rain
& the music is jazz
or blues & you're
dreaming of something
just people watching
& the hours pass
by almost invisibly
as if afraid to disturb
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
( for Virginia Woolf)

Light & dark collide
her life is a palimpsest
of butterfly memories
of twisted ills & happiness
viewed through a pin hole
captured in black & white
The Lighthouse still stands
in St Ives where it always was
where she used to go as a child
she writes “ Mrs Dalloway”
& eats conference pears
Occasionally she hears the birds
singing in Greek as they fly by
Death, which will claim her is always waiting.
Dreams of Sepia Jun 2015
Snatching bats
in street lamp light
such a sight
for the sleepless
in the hollow night
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
Chessboard 's out
you move your  Queen
to face my Knight

the last blackbird
is singing in the night
& the coffee's grown cold

my pawn eats
your King & you
sigh and shake your head

& show me a postcard
from Istanbul as we
decide to take a break

the summer is dying
the telephone sings
but we don't answer
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
Up on Church Hill
I think of my love
& Tennyson, long gone
Up on Church Hill

Up on Church Hill
I look out at Steep Holm
and then at Clevedon pier
Up on Church hill

Up on Church Hill
the last swallows are soaring,
last summer days calling
Up on Church Hill

Up on Church Hill
by the poets’ walk
I sit as it gets dark
Up on Church Hill

Up on Church Hill
I shall leave my heart
& then depart
Old Church Hill
N.B. This turned out to be a song instead of / as well as a poem. I just set it to music. So think of this as song lyrics too if you wish. Clevedon is a small seaside town on the Bristol Channel in South West England which is known for the fact that the poets Tennyson, Coleridge & William Makepeace Thackeray ( more known for his novel ' Vanity Fair') visited it in their lifetimes. Church Hill is so named because it has a church there, nestled in a small valley/ indentation in the hill & has lovely views.
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
I will miss these August nights
the neighbors partying in the next garden

wishing on shooting stars
drinking my third cider

the cat, catching moths
by the outdoor light

the music of a lost summertime
caught in passing rain showers

unwritten letters
playing on my mind

thinking that yesterday
it was your birthday, friend

& that each August
we've been separated

I have thought of you
even if you haven't thought of me
Dreams of Sepia Nov 2015
Inside this Cocoon of night
nu jazz plays competing
with Lana del Rey tracks
amidst the dim shadows
outside, the broken light
of stars & you ask
how foxes became urban
I do not know
maybe their wild soul
recognizes that like them, a city can't be tamed
entirely or maybe they're just lost
I do not know
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
Nothing is meant by
this August ; the still bright sky
does not confess.
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
They say
you will be extinct
by 2032

the Queen of Hearts'
favorite past-time
the joy of summer

a sign of class
& breeding
in your time

brought over
from France
during Charles II's reign

the memory
of playing you
in that mansion house

across the  river gorge
amidst the roses
will stay with me forever

as a sign of the Britishness
I lost abroad
& when he left


* Queen of Hearts - from ' Alice in Wonderland' by Lewis Carroll
Dreams of Sepia Jun 2015
Clock drips
twists time
faceless man
reflects sky
nothing
measured
Dreams of Sepia Oct 2015
Dear Night,
please *******
out of my life
back to your bars,
theatres,
prostitutes
& big neon city lights
don't visit the suburbs
of this small town
where there is
nothing to do
but wait for the dawn
& write
because yeah
I'm even tired of that
old hat trick
& again
there are no stars
in the sky
to comfort my
rickety heart
& no-one on the telephone
& no nightingales
in the garden
I think I am going to have to catch a bus & go into town now or I shall scream because the Suburbs at night drive me insane except say, in the summer...
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
It is a time for all the signs
the Star of Bethlehem
the hailstones in summertime

I wish I read Tarot cards
or coffee dregs or tea leaves
you followed me on twitter

& then abandoned me
is your heart so hard
or are you simply

scared of something
we both can't change
well forget everything

this is a time for all the signs
if you can't bear the truth
lets just live with the lies

you can accept
e.g my 'mental health'
which you're convinced

is the problem
unable to look
past the end of your nose

but no matter how many roads
you travel you won't find
someone like me, another

more worthy of your love
& I say ' Love' not ' Pity'
for I believe in Hope


so lets get on with it
for something is happening
in this world

which could
bring us together
some magic

beyond ourselves
can't you feel it
the call of Him

the Card Dealer
the Great Believer
the King of Love

I challenge you, Gambler
I say it's real
& that it's meant for us
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
You write of the Faroe Islands
of whaling & girls with red hair
I wonder if you've ever been there
or if it's just a writer's fantasy

Can a poet write
of what he's not seen
with his very eyes
or does he always have to live it

feel the blessed fire
of experience
burn his soul & skin
still, I give in

to your vision
of a place I've never been
in return, I offer you my Berlin
pristine lakes & secret courtyards

a City that's fought to be free
showing it's pride in art & grafitti
& international flair
yet you scorn it


just as you do me
turning my heart
into droplets
of Alice's tears

that moment
when she can't get in
through the tiny door
to the garden in Wonderland

why doesn't my world
entrance you, Islander
don't you know we share
the same sacred loves

look closer,
draw near
we are similar
we are poets

we know
God is a Beatnik
& we read
the same books

My Soul
sings of you
open this door
let me love you

let us
fold the stars
in two
& dance

tell me of Yorkshire
don't judge me for my past
let our differences bring us
together sparking desire


& let my love last
until you finally see in me
what I've already
found in you
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
So I went
down the rabbit hole
thinking I was following you, my love
They would have said
it was Mad
that's why I didn't tell anyone
that the living room table & house
was divided into different countries
America at the helm
Germany, Britain and Russia
as I stood in my chequered coat
for days on end, crying
believing people thought I was Stalin
or else, a diplomat
about to be killed
& M&S; tea, the package
being red & black
made me think of communism
( red) & fascism ( black)
& though being neither
I wanted to promptly
order my mother
to spread it amongst the people
then realized the irony of this
& refrained
instead, asking her
why she was sending signals
to the neighbors
by putting the kettle on
whilst praying for all the believers
in and of True Love
True Love,
salvation & fury
debased by them
on purpose, I thought
' Erotomaniac'
what?
Simply for wanting
to have hope?
Believing in romance?
And you,
who rejected me
you'll never know Wonderland
all you saw was a rabbit hole,
darkness & dirt
& it's true, it all just turned into barbed wire
& Angels singing, locked up
little pills at bedtime
fear, my only crime
& yet for a while before that
the world shone
& I don't know how to talk about that
it's just that I thought
every person I met
would lead me to your door
that all the songs in the world
were sung for me
& that all your poetry
was a declaration of love
just waiting to happen
Apologies,  this may be disturbing for some. A true portrayal of the strange places my mind went 2 years ago, circling around my fear for my life following a threat I received & my love for a fellow poet, a breakdown the full extent of which those keeping me in hospital against my will for so-called mental illness on several occasions back then didn't know about. All they knew about was my fear for my life, not these thoughts & that was enough for them to label me for life so I figured it's good they don't know about this. Also, I do not approve of labels/ judging people as mentally ill/psychiatry etc. To me, what I went through was just an interesting experience.
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
( Poem follows below after this short introduction) So this is a warning for anyone who believes in mental illness & thinks that psychiatry is helping them rather than harming them & to remind them how it is a potentially dangerous tool for oppression & medicalization of normality. In 1850, a US Doctor came up with this diagnosis to claim that slaves that wanted to run away/ran away were mentally ill because he a) believed black people were inferior to white people b) that any desire in a black person to be free must be mental illness as they were born to be enslaved. I am not kidding. This really happened.

Drapetomania

So you see it has a name
this singing in my veins
the wish to be free of my chains
is apparently insane
for by my skin I was born to serve
those who would whip me
those who would trick me
of my birth right
to stand free in the sun
No, apparently, if I run
I am sick
tell me quick
doc what do I do
& tell me how do
you sleep at night
being so cruel
to your fellow man
is there a name for what
you do, I could think of a few
I can only come up with
' *******'
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
It's been a long time
but the ink scrawls & lines all fall into place

an expressionist
glimpse into urban dreams

somewhere in the past
a typewriter sounds

someone is writing
a masterpiece

which will never
be published

in a land
soon to be bombs & flame

meanwhile my lines
make out the city of my dreams
I drew for the first time in a year today & what came out was a picture that reminded me of Berlin, a city I love.
Dreams of Sepia Aug 2015
She tells me not to talk about my life
true poets write of other things, she says
then reads a poem about her marriage, husband

I'm reminded of Sylvia Plath's struggles
how she would not have followed such advice
or else not become the icon that she is

besides, as Langston Hughes said
' No great poet should ever be afraid of being himself'
or something like ( replace that with 'herself')

& does not a life contain universal topics
that ties us all together in one universe
so all I say is write, write what you know
Elaine Feinstein is a prominent British poet currently writing today.
Dreams of Sepia Sep 2015
Duke Ellington's not happy
his Satin doll's not shown up
' Hey have you seen my Satin doll?'
' Look Mister, I'm not ' Lost property'
& why don't you go & sleep it off'
' What?'
' You've got Whiskey
written all over your face, Ellington'
' Gee, ok, but could you spare a few
I need money to get home'
' I'll think about it, in the meantime,
sing me a song
'' Ok. WE WILL WE WILL ROCK YOU'
Based on a true conversation I had a while ago with a drunk ( probably homeless ) man. I thought it was funny because the idea of Duke Ellington singing  Queen's ' We will rock you' was kinda quirky. (I trust everyone knows who Duke Ellington is & one of his most famous musical compositions ' Satin Doll')
Unter den Linden is a particular stretch of Berlin, the name literally translates as ' Beneath the Linden Trees' due to the Linden trees growing there.
Dreams of Sepia Jul 2015
She hates odd numbers
finds herself in moments
in the cracks between
the pavement

she likes to go out
in her bath robe
& scare the kids
that come Trick or Treating

she likes the rain
& has just won at bingo
she's seventy-six
& she's still a beginner
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