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Aug 2015
So I went
down the rabbit hole
thinking I was following you, my love
They would have said
it was Mad
that's why I didn't tell anyone
that the living room table & house
was divided into different countries
America at the helm
Germany, Britain and Russia
as I stood in my chequered coat
for days on end, crying
believing people thought I was Stalin
or else, a diplomat
about to be killed
& M&S; tea, the package
being red & black
made me think of communism
( red) & fascism ( black)
& though being neither
I wanted to promptly
order my mother
to spread it amongst the people
then realized the irony of this
& refrained
instead, asking her
why she was sending signals
to the neighbors
by putting the kettle on
whilst praying for all the believers
in and of True Love
True Love,
salvation & fury
debased by them
on purpose, I thought
' Erotomaniac'
what?
Simply for wanting
to have hope?
Believing in romance?
And you,
who rejected me
you'll never know Wonderland
all you saw was a rabbit hole,
darkness & dirt
& it's true, it all just turned into barbed wire
& Angels singing, locked up
little pills at bedtime
fear, my only crime
& yet for a while before that
the world shone
& I don't know how to talk about that
it's just that I thought
every person I met
would lead me to your door
that all the songs in the world
were sung for me
& that all your poetry
was a declaration of love
just waiting to happen
Apologies,Β Β this may be disturbing for some. A true portrayal of the strange places my mind went 2 years ago, circling around my fear for my life following a threat I received & my love for a fellow poet, a breakdown the full extent of which those keeping me in hospital against my will for so-called mental illness on several occasions back then didn't know about. All they knew about was my fear for my life, not these thoughts & that was enough for them to label me for life so I figured it's good they don't know about this. Also, I do not approve of labels/ judging people as mentally ill/psychiatry etc. To me, what I went through was just an interesting experience.
Dreams of Sepia
Written by
Dreams of Sepia  Somewhere in the Universe
(Somewhere in the Universe)   
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