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Jun 16 · 682
Anarchy
The greatest mastery of self
is to do nothing.
We are doers
programmed to do,
to solve, to be busy
creating problems
just to solve them
rewarding ourselves
with ever more destructive prizes.
We congratulate ourselves
for our compulsive expenditure
like an addict congratulating
themselves for turning back
to the needle.

We are all addicts.

The true anarchist
does nothing.
Originally published at https://www.douglasbalmain.com/anarchy.html
May 13 · 382
Two Truths:
Apr 3 · 331
Dead Flowers
The day he handed the flowers to her
she was looking ahead
instead of at him.
Originally published at https://douglasbalmain.medium.com/telling-a-new-story-fb8f789aa931
This is how the body looks now:
    empty, estranged…
its parts arguing their cases
for emancipation,
sovereignty from the system—
each component demanding
overt consent from all others
before further engaging
in vital collaborations.

This is how the body looks now:
    formless, dissociated…
the war for Independence and
Recognition has left us
devastated by the divisions
of definition—disjointed
structures of severed relations
disavowed of the Whole.
Originally published at https://www.douglasbalmain.com/thisishowthebodylooks.html
Feb 18 · 288
Ain't It A Shame
Ain't it a shame
that we—
Nature's Human—
can't bring ourselves
to care.
Can't bring ourselves
to care
about our collective actions
nor allowances...
not until they reach us,
as individuals,
not until they
**** with our own
individual day.
Can't bring ourselves
to care,
not until our own
feelings are hurt,
until our own bellies ache,
until we can make it
about ourselves,
until it's too late.
Ain't it a shame.
Dec 2020 · 234
Broken Home
Douglas Balmain Dec 2020
I sunk my fingers down
into the loam of an ancient
buffalo wallow and the
land that had quietly
prepared for their species
untold millennia before me.

I held the buffalo’s
mourning in my heart,
and felt the Buffalo Nations’
cry rattle against my ribs.

I opened myself to the
Earth and it spoke
sorrowfully to me
of its broken home.
Nov 2020 · 180
Identity
Douglas Balmain Nov 2020
Is it not through the
Buffalo that we know
of ourselves?

Or do you look
to your uniform
to tell you who
you are?
Nov 2020 · 179
Untitled
Douglas Balmain Nov 2020
I listened to an Eagle
speak through a body
that personified the land
he hunted over;
a body stressed, defensive—
fragile.
In his eyes I saw Reorder,
the burning furnaces
of Universal energy,
the power of stars,
and a coming heat.
Oct 2020 · 300
Introduction
Douglas Balmain Oct 2020
The grains of sand stuck
to the sweat in between my
toes are each as big and
burning as any star stuck
into the spilt Black—
each mass a Giant searing
through skin, bubbling towards
the hollow flues of bone,
kindling a greater burn that
shines out my eyes, reflecting
my own Ancient Chaos back
at those watchful fires
in the sky;
call it an introduction,
a nod in acknowledgement
of our meetings to come.
Oct 2020 · 267
Serpent
Douglas Balmain Oct 2020
There is still dust in my eyes
and ringing in my ears;
the serpent coiled in the bottom
of my pack counts coup each
time I reach in.
I've known of its presence
for years now—
ever since I began
my walks with Death—
but I let it have the satisfaction
of its Killer's game. Why not?
It is an easy kindness.
Sep 2020 · 66
Untitled
Douglas Balmain Sep 2020
We look so hard
that we fail to See.
Sep 2020 · 103
Higher
Douglas Balmain Sep 2020
We stood and watched,
mesmerized by its brilliance,
pacified by the warmth
that radiated through our bodies.

Our highs flowed up through the heat,
riding the tips of the flames
as they licked at the sky,
incandescent and greedy.

We knew it was burning too hot,
too fast—
but only the crash can humble the high.
Aug 2020 · 413
Disbelief
Douglas Balmain Aug 2020
The act of not believing;
not believing in one’s actions,
or participation,
in a world that preexists
the conflicted Self.
Aug 2020 · 103
Untitled
Douglas Balmain Aug 2020
Collapse;
collapsing force.

Monumental;
monumental pain.

Shifting in the night,
ripping through torrid dreams—
each atrocity screaming its own cry,
existing through its own suffering...
each plea demanding its own recognition...
creating its own world of pain,
its own Reality, encased
in its own experience of torture.

And you...
where do you turn?
Aug 2020 · 162
John Henry
Douglas Balmain Aug 2020
They killed John Henry
with a false ideal:
ownership as Realization;
Happiness as being external;
life's vitality as commodity.

They killed John Henry
with a name and a title.

They killed John Henry
with an interested dream.
Jul 2020 · 139
Let It Fall
Douglas Balmain Jul 2020
Let it take me,
those towns I move through,
and those I claim to know.
Let our Institutions fall—
crumble down through the
failed foundations of our
own self-possession.
Originally published at https://www.douglasbalmain.com/notebook/
Jun 2020 · 279
Nothing
Douglas Balmain Jun 2020
It's nothing.
It's Nothing.
It is Nothing.
It Is Nothing.

So, why the hesitation?
Jun 2020 · 237
Lay Me Open
Douglas Balmain Jun 2020
Lay me open
and watch me bleed
and I’ll watch you too
to help you feel
seen as you take in
this pain
that you so needed
to witness.
Jun 2020 · 204
Reaction
Douglas Balmain Jun 2020
Behind the brilliant light
that gifts life to our world
burns a collapsing force
fueled by the remnants
of untold millions of years
of pulverized matter
and dispersed gases,
excited and united by
the catalytic force
of Universal disturbance.

Dive into your veins,
past the deep red color of love,
zoom in until you can see
those entities that exist
within your blood’s flowing warmth,
and you will see Warriors
locked in Lacedaemon wars.

Be Open when you feel.
Be Whole when you act.
Life is no place for ideals:
Justice demands a Judge.

We must step onto our fields of battle
solemn and reverent,
willing to plunge our spearheads
into the chests of others
who will die staring back at us
through our own eyes.

If you cannot feel these truths,
turn yourself around
and break your spear in half
on your walk back home.
Originally published at https://douglasbalmain.com/reaction.html
Jun 2020 · 442
Souls Of No Nation
Douglas Balmain Jun 2020
Feel the fire’s flame
cutting through our nights,
its burning heat
glowing in our eyes.

Feel the teeth grinding,
lungs heaving,
knuckles cracking,
slides racking…
Fear’s vibrations
colliding—dividing—
and choosing sides.

Stop.

Turn away,
relax your breath,
and adjust your eyes…

Can’t you see the face
hidden in the shadow
cast by its fired night?
Can’t you see its narrowed
eyes, the tight smile
emanating from a twisted soul;
the mind that’s taken Center
while we burn at its poles;
the eyes that know
our fractured factions
keep us weak, in conflict,
unorganized and opposed?

The identities we’ve been served
keep us forever in chains,
ensuring the blood we spill
is spilt in vain…
that change is only a slogan
an old institution
with a new name.

We are not black nor white,
we are not left nor right,
we are neither American
nor un-American:
we stand as souls of no nation.
We are people, we are lives—
lives that have been
distracted,
disenfranchised,
and confused.
We are people
whose attention and energies
have been compromised.
We are lives
who have been divided
by the rhetoric of a power
that wishes to harvest
our spirit,
our vitality,
to serve its interests.

Join your fires,
join your minds.
See yourself
in all who you are not…
for you live within them,
and they within you.

We fight for freedom,
not a flag;
for Being,
not for land.

When this truth is felt,
united we will stand.
Not as numbers in a system—
nor factions divided
by city blocks—
but as Beings,
as lives,
whose chance at
a new future
has been restored.
Originally published at https://DouglasBalmain.com/notebook
May 2020 · 786
Refuge
Douglas Balmain May 2020
Her rib cage splayed
and knees felled away
from each other,
she lay as a refuge,
an invitation:

Climb in, stretch my skin
over yours—
it's warm and dark inside,
you need not come out
until you are ready.
May 2020 · 199
Return
Douglas Balmain May 2020
I was once One with
what I love
but cannot know
and am now left
yearning
to return to where
I cannot travel
to restore my place
amongst that which
is without form.
May 2020 · 171
Fog
Douglas Balmain May 2020
Fog
The fog's captives
were held
motionless
and entranced—
frozen
in a bearingless
nothing.
There had existed
within them
only a moment
of anticipation
as the grey
encased them—
vacillations
between the loss
of one world
and acceptance
of another.
As its vaporous
cold snaked
through their
clothes and into
their bones,
it whispered
a silent boast
of how quickly
they could be
made to forget
all they thought
they knew
to be certain.
Originally published at https://douglasbalmain.com/notebook
May 2020 · 233
Reduction
Douglas Balmain May 2020
No use in saying
what won’t
be understood.
After all,
how many times
must the experiment
be run?
How many
times must the
confirmation of
vacancy
distrust
misunderstanding
and rejection
be faced
before the soul
learns to stop
speaking,
as a prisoner in
a foreign
land sits silently
within a cell
between walls
built of ears
and eyes
who see and
hear all
and use
all against him?
How long before
the soul is
reduced to giving
only a knowing nod
and a saddened smile?
May 2020 · 434
Caged
Douglas Balmain May 2020
The illusion of
option,
of freedom,
of choice—
the patronizing
call of the
jailer—
his insidious
hiss through
the cold steel
bars,
“Your time
is your own,
you may do
as you wish.”
May 2020 · 148
Nothing
Douglas Balmain May 2020
To jump and never land—
to breathe in but never out—
to fall asleep and never wake up...
The glass stillness of a pond,
its surface never disturbed—
peace without its pole:
Nothing.
May 2020 · 254
Unheard
Douglas Balmain May 2020
It’s not that
they don’t speak—
it’s that we
won’t listen.
We hear only
with our ears
now—tuned
for only our
own tones.
Their language
is subtle
and comprehensive;
a language of
truths without
motive, born
of a life
we’ve turned
away from.
Originally published at https://douglasbalmain.com/notebook
May 2020 · 327
The Worlds Of The Living
Douglas Balmain May 2020
I was watching Worlds
moving past and through my own.
They returned my intrigue with wariness,
if anything at all.

Why do they view me
with only misgiving
and indifference?

The glass's glare answered the question
before it could be posed,
signaling back to me
the separation it represents.

It was I who had declared myself as Other—
watching, as a spectator,
the Worlds of the Living.
Originally published at https://DouglasBalmain.com/notebook
May 2020 · 318
Taking Life
Douglas Balmain May 2020
It struck me that
taking life and giving
life represent two perspectives
of a single act.
Originally published at https://DouglasBalmain.com/notebook
May 2020 · 483
Confines
Douglas Balmain May 2020
Pressures,
forces,
twisting levers—
gears ratcheting down
little by
relentless
little
against a box with
no walls
and no way out.
May 2020 · 189
Waiting
Douglas Balmain May 2020
What is waiting for my weight—
for the matter I carry,
for the energies bonded within me?
What is lying dormant—
anticipating the day
when my body lays itself down—
so it may drink from my cisterns
and eat from my stores?
What will come into Being
from my ceasing to Be?
Apr 2020 · 635
Tumultuous Minds
Douglas Balmain Apr 2020
It is a temptation,
isn't it?

We sit and we wonder
volatile thoughts
flowing through tumultuous minds.

It is a temptation,
isn't it?
Apr 2020 · 328
Worlds
Douglas Balmain Apr 2020
I was watching Worlds—
Worlds far removed from mine.
They dissolved my notion of Import
along with my concept of Time.
I was watching Worlds—
Worlds far removed from mine.
I saw our disconnection
our thoughts have made us blind.
We're lost in Worlds inside of Worlds,
within Worlds made in our minds.
Apr 2020 · 229
Judgement
Douglas Balmain Apr 2020
Judgement is our prison:
     the bars, lock, and key.
As we build its walls higher,
     our perspective grows smaller
Until our confines of Measure
​     become all we can see.
Originally published at https://DouglasBalmain.com/notebook
Mar 2020 · 306
Rebirth: Part II
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
The Death of one world
is the Birth of another.

Listen to the Mountains
speak and they'll tell you
stories of the Ocean.
Mar 2020 · 229
Rebirth: Part I
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
Standing on a dimming stage
in the echoing stillness of our Plot—
fixed in the Silence of an
audience deprived of intimacy:

The Death of a world
that never knew Life.
Mar 2020 · 219
Weight
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
Surplus is burden.
Expectation is limitation.
Hope is anxiety.
Fear is confinement.

A heavy pack is a liability.
It does not help to carry more than you need.
Originally published at https://DouglasBalmain.com/notebook
Mar 2020 · 537
The Real World
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
Our world is not crumbling.
Those are mere numbers,
those are just games.
Listen to the roots warming,
they're humming in the ground.
Watch the crows snapping limbs:
structure for uncertain wings.
Can you smell Spring's fertility
in the changing air?
Originally published at http://DouglasBalmain.com/notebook
Mar 2020 · 420
Moving
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
Move before the walls tighten,
go before you’re asked to leave.
Breathe in that old t-shirt one last time,
the one that still holds a faint
remembrance of a past lover’s scent.
Say your Pagan prayer
as you lay it down over
the yellow burn of split pine
and watch your spirits
dance to one more song — 
twisting and flowing up the flue,
whispering their final, dissipating
goodbyes before joining the
ocean that waits to greet them
beyond the stack’s order.

Goodbye my lover.

Originally published at http://DouglasBalmain.com/moving.html
Mar 2020 · 189
Submission
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
Submit yourself to Nature's voice,
this is not a fight—
your enemies are of your own making.
What are you scared of, Death?
Do you also stand in rivers,
attempting to halt the water's flow?
Originally published at https://www.douglasbalmain.com/notebook/
Mar 2020 · 374
Recycle
Douglas Balmain Mar 2020
We are panicked because we've divorced
ourselves from Nature. We feel our lives and
time to be of singular significance.

We are panicked because we don't
accept consequence. Consequence
comes later—we think ourselves exempt.

We have proven ourselves inept
at mitigating our impacts, inept
at living and multiplying sustainably--
inept at respecting Nature,
our Planet, and those we share it with.

Nature is not an enemy—nor is Death.
Disease is a tool they both use,
they know when and how to use it.

Nature's virus is Her shining testament
to the limitations of the scientific mind.
It stands as the form of humility,
served with exponential growth.

There is nothing of singular significance
within my bones, heart, or skull.
I am merely a fragment of Nature's Flow.
I did not choose to come here,
I will not argue when it comes my time to go.
Originally published at https://www.douglasbalmain.com/recycle.html

— The End —