Is there ever gonna be a time where you wish you have me back
When you're laying in bed or dreaming about me
Someone says something that reminds you of me
Will you ever miss me
Ever know what you truly lost
Crave my touch my voice
Will you ever truly know what you had  
What you let slip through you finger tips

Ill break your heart and I won't think twice
I have a sweet face but a dark heart
Is this what you wanted
I used to be the girl that matched her smile
And you left and I broke and I started breaking hearts

You left so I moved on
And in your eyes it was easy
But if you seen me break and cry
You would see I had no choice
But to let it go
I remembered all the memories of us
I went through them like a movie
When you first left
I thought it it would never be ok
That it would be this way forever
But the day I moved on
Was the day I knew I could live without you

I loved you through the tears you caused
I wanted you even after the pain
I thought about you even when I was falling apart
All I ever wanted was you
And you took that away from me

Turn the music up and just forget the world
Rather it be singing along
Or dancing
Laying in your bed crying while the lyrics speaks to you
Turn the music up and let the world go

Ive lost you so many times
I think Im strong enough
That I don't need you now
Ive cried until my eyes are tired
Ive laid in bed thinking about you for to long
I broke and I broke
Until I can't break anymore
I loved and I loved
Until I can't love you anymore
Not the way I used to
And boy did I love you

I wanted to break you
And then put you back together
I wanted you to need me
You to tell me I was your world
That you couldn't breathe without me
I craved to be the one you loved
The one you called yours
I wanted you to love me like I love you

Im done with waiting
Im over crying
I don't believe a word you say
Ive had my heart broken many times
By your broken promises
I should of learned a long time ago
Not to let myself fall for your words

She passed with bright lips
And wet finger nails
Freshly dyed hair
Sad eyes a broken heart
Torn apart
She fell in love
Look at her now

Forever mine
Forever yours
With every heart beat
With every flaw
Every minute everyday
Every thought every dream
My heart beats your name
Forever mine Forever yours
Forever intertwined

I needed you where are you
I needed you who are you
I love you where are you
I love you who are you
Im yours where are you
Im yours who are you
Who have I fallen in love with
And love where have you gone
Your no longer here by my side
Where are you
Im yours I need you
I love you
Where are you

Lover can I give you my heart
Stay and never leave
Love me forever
Close your eyes and go at it wildly
Tell me I'm what's missing
Let me know I won your heart
Kiss me in the dark
Hold my hand like you never want to let it go
Love me and let me know
Love me forever and ever and never let me go

They said she was sad
And maybe a little broken
Anxiety filled and socially awkward
Said her thinking was twisted
That she was a little bit of a *****
That she was insecure and weird
That her scars were self inflicted
And maybe she agrees

I feel like my insides are broken
I feel like a broken girl
I feel like i am the reason I am broken
I feel like I will fall apart
My broken parts might crumble to pieces
And then I really would be a broken girl

I dont sleep to rest
I sleep to escape life
Sleep is the only time I feel relief
sleep is my death fantasy
I look forward to my little deaths every night.

I watched you drive away
With tears in my eyes
I missed you the moment you left
I wanted to tell you to come back
To take back the fight
To right what was wrong
But now after many tears
And sleepless nights
I know that the moment you left
Was the moment everything fell apart
Even though you aren't truly gone
I know that you will never be mine again

Our love was brewed up by a storm
I was like a twister out of control and dying
You were like lightening flashing rain falling
And together we destroyed everything thing in our paths
Including ourselves  
You rained on my heart as I tore you apart
Now that I look back I see the destructive path we were on
And I wish I could stop us

I fell in love with you
And I fell hard
It wasn't easy falling
I got bruises and scratches
And you left me to bleed with tears in my eyes
You looked me in the face and told me you loved me
As you walked away

I like hearing memories of my life better than actually living it that's why I like dreams.

Love isn't coming my way
Only heartache and pain
People say love hurts
But does it even exist

I remember wanting you so bad
Doing whatever it took to have you
But it faded and I don't know where were going
What we will end up as
I dont know what happened what changed
But I remember right when I felt it
It felt dangerous and sad
I didn't recognize it at first
Now that I have I want it back
I don't know if we can ever be the same
And the worst part is i knew it was gonna tear us apart
but i did it to keep us together

You made me a bitter broken soul
But my stubborn heart won't let you go

I finally see
Through all these tears
We can't be
More crying nights
Heart aching she feels it breaking
And with this broken heart
She sees it in her eyes
How much she hurts over him
She can't seem to let the memories go
But she knows its breaking her its changing her
And she can't help but wonder is it worth the tears

Like a storm you blew into my life
With a smile so sweet
With loving words I can keep
Like all storms
You led a destructive path
The aftermath
Left cracks in my heart
Nothing but tears falling like rain
Dark cloudy days to come

I'm falling apart
Here without you
I don't know what to do
Memories of you flooding my mind
Tears flowing from my eyes
Im falling into a million pieces
I close my eyes and imagine
That my heart isn't breaking
That I didn't lose you
This isn't happening

I feel us drifting
Drifting further and further apart
The same current that brought us together
Is ripping us apart
I'm going one way
And you're going the other
And there is nothing I can do to stop it
So I just sit there watching
Grieving the loss of you
Because I know its coming
I keep swimming towards you
Never giving up
But in the end I'm only hurting myself more
Because your still drifting

You don't need it
I can be your drug
Because you are mine
When I kiss you its like I took a hit
When you touch me its like I had a line
When we kiss my heart starts beating fast
Mind starts racing
I want you to be addicted to my love not a drug
Baby put it down and let me love you

My mind is my prison
I count to four
Everyday all day
Don't ask me why its four
Or why I count
You feel my fingers counting 1 2 3 4
I have to kiss you 4 times before I go
I have my routine of 1 2 3 4s
I replay conversions in my head 4 times 4 times
One it haunt me in my sleep
Two it haunts me all day
Three it takes me
Four it drives me crazy

Our love is like a bubble bath
I needed you to wash me clean
But now our love is going down the drain
I watch as it swirls around and around until its gone
Wrapped in a towel
I watch whats left of us seep away
With tears in my eyes
I try to save us
To save anything left over

You say you love me you say you care
But when it comes to the nitty gritty you aren't there
Even if it doesn't seem important you
I need you
Even if it seems childish or stupid
Even if it doesn't make sense to you
I need you
Where are you
Because you aren't here

Will you catch me if I fall
Will you tell me you fell to
Will you hold me tight and tell me you love me

Cant you see I'm crying can't you see I'm dying
You see the marks and scars don't you know I'm lying

Im not that sad lost girl anymore
Ive put her away
But she still talks to me
She tells me her fears her worries
She reminds me of her past
Some nights I hold her while she cries
Im there for her when she needs me
I need someone there for me when she comes to visit
When she's here I forget how far I've came
When she visits I become her again
I relive my pain from the past
I can't turn her away because she is me and she needs me
She doesn't want me to forget her to let her go

Silly girl what are you doing
You're doing it again
Silly girl you're gonna get hurt
Letting someone in
Silly girl put your guard up
Silly girl what were you thinking
Crazy girl slow down
Your so intense girl
Take a breath girl
Put on the brakes
Girl

I wanted you to tell me to stay
I wanted you to fight for me
I wanted you to tell me you loved me
I wanted you to tell me you missed me
I wanted you

Ill always have what we had in my memories and thats better than not having it at all.

You don't abuse me but you confuse me
You never leave but your not here
Your not mean but you aren't sweet
Im not ready to let you go
Even if that means I'm gonna break my own heart
I feel like Im ripping it out and throwing it on the ground
But either way I feel that way
With or without you
So I might as well keep you
Right?
Just to have you

I want to write a dark and sad poem
But you're making me happy

Its not hard for me to push my emotions away
Because it's so hard for me to show them
They're already so deep inside
That it doesn't take much
They are easily hidden
I suffer in silence
I don't want anyone to worry about me
Im fine Im ok
I don't do it anymore
Its over I'm fine
All lies
But its easier for you to hear
To think everything is fine

Why do you do it destroy yourself like you do
Your better than you think you are
You had a past but you do have a future
Don't let your past take it away
Mistakes of a teenage boy running into adult hood
Covered by a smoky drunken haze
Drugs fills your head making it foggy
You take hands fulls of pills to push your fate
The rush the burn the way it makes you feel up
I don't understand it

When the tears running down my cheeks turn into my blood running down my thighs thats when I know I'm gonna be fine When I feel the blade sink in my skin I'm not brittany anymore in that moment I don't matter the only thing that matters is the pain the blade makes All worries all fear all negative thoughts fades away And cutting is the only thing that has had that effect and when I feel the pain left over from the blade or look at the mark I get a glimpse of that safe place again. I feel safe when I do it I feel like I let everything out. And I have control of what happens I know whats gonna happen

Im a quiet person
I might come off rude or unfriendly
But get to know me
And you will see
Im not rude or unfriendly
Im just Brittany

I wish I could trust you when you say you care
I wish you could trust me when I say I'm trying

You scrambled my pieces up
Until I was so confused I couldn't put them back together
You changed me before I was truly who I was supposed to be
You took years away from me you took who I could of been
You made me something I couldn't understand
You made me a angry kid
You made me a messed up and anxiety filled teenager
You made me a confused adult trying to figure it out
I was a blank canvas
And you painted it
With self hate and panic and anxiety
And I will never know what picture I would of been without your brush strokes

It hurts it hurts
It hurts to know its over
What we were
What we are
Nothing last forever
I wanted us to last forever
Tug pull tug pull
I can't take it

She fell and she fell hard
With your lips on her lips
Butterflies flood her stomach  
Hands in her hair
Call her baby girl

She's empty,She's broken
She's full of regret
Life is not what she wants
She wants to be fixed
But she is scared she is unfixable

It's different now
My feeling are still the same
But I don't want to get to invested
You leave every second
And I can't take it
I will always care about you
But that doesn't mean I will always stay
Because one day one day
I'm gonna have enough
And its gonna break my heart
But I can't keep going in circles with my emotions

I'd rather miss you than have my heart break every other week
I'd rather let you go now than have you leave next week
I'd rather feel the pain of losing you than feel it in a week
I'd rather have my heart broken now than have you break it a week from now
I'd rather say bye now than have to say bye every 7 days
I'd rather Love you than lose that feeling for you
I'd rather cry now than cry week by week
I'd rather you stay every week instead of leave

Why'd you'd have to go
And leave me with a broken heart
Why'd you have to go
And leave me with nothing but memories
Why'd you have to go
And leave me with nothing but tears
Why'd you have to go