The sunset over the Atlantic
As seen from my balcony
A sight that never tires me
Even though it doesn’t change

I don’t know where the ocean ends
And where the sky begins
Even when the colors change
They fade into each other

Instead my life confuses me
Sitting alone on my balcony
Even though the landscapes change
It always just feels the same

I don’t know where the present ends
And the future will begin
The seamlessness just frightens me
As if I’m missing out on life

But like sunset over the Atlantic
Teaches the view from my balcony
There’s more to life than sea and sky
And the sun will elsewhere rise

I thought you’d go the distance
You didn’t move an inch.
How can I recover with this
Hovering over my head?
You said ‘just trust me’,
And then let me
Go the extra mile while
You stayed behind and whispered
A soft goodbye.

You sent me out into a storm
That I only could survive
With someone else beside
Me, with you right there.
This is indeed the end of it.
You led me to believe that if I
Were to ever have you,
‘Now’ was the time
To jump.

So I took the leap and
Landed in the puddle
At my feet.
Stood tall to see the rain fall,
Stood tall to see and meet
A someone else beside me,
Fronting the same storm,
Who looked at me and whispered
A soft hello.

As I watch the sunrise it dawns on me
The sun will always shine
New mornings will forever follow
The darkest of the night

Nothing stays the same as
The shadow that the sunlight casts
Behind you keeps on changing
The sorrow never lasts

Neither does the happiness
When leaves fall down in autumn
And holding on to anything
Is like chasing after phantoms

The silent stream I trust my heart to
Takes it along as it goes
So just like that my heart has changed
Confirming that everything flows

She kissed him
Like New York was the city she lived in
Like Manhattan was her home
When she laid her fingers against the window
She felt it
His heartbeat
Warm flesh through cold glass
Her reflection mirroring his
While she looked out on skyscrapers
Empire State, she
Saw him across the room
In the silence of the empty penthouse
Louder than the racket of
The city buzz below
She heard him
His whisper
Telling her he loved her, how beautiful she was
She kissed him
Like New York was the city she lived in
While never having left the Europe that is home

Shattered glass
Broken by force
But out of despair
The bleeding fist
Token of both
Witness of one
Mistaken strength
Screaming for
Recognition that
Will never fulfill
Fear forces further
Into slavery that hurts

Slowly finding its way down
The window pane I’m watching
The lonely drop of rain is all
My crying eyes can see

With my wandering finger tips
I follow it down to the place
My heart committed suicide
And left my world to die

The pain is bleeding out of
Pierced black nothingness
Spilling empty all across
The ice cold bedroom floor

A star lights up distracting
My eye away from the dark
Reminding me that out there
A million windows are

Just like mine the only
Comfort that could ever be
Hard enough to handle
A hurt this frightening

And while the glass is only
Reminding of the hopelessness
It soothes the sense of solitude
By allowing the view

Remember, being young, you used to love those posters
We’d look at them for hours, got addicted to the game
Of trying to be the one, who found the most new details
We searched for all the features that none had seen before
And every next disclosure would shed a whole new light
On the storyline we thought had nothing new in store

Where along the way did you lose your sense of wonder?
What was it that blinded the eye for detail that you had?
Was it time that rusted your fixation on what’s known yet
Was it life that happened and robbed your curious mind?
‘Cause though still friends forever, the magic slowly faded
The picture got familiar as if holding no more surprise

Now just take a moment and imagine that we’re standing
Looking at that poster that you still know by heart
The one that tells the story of two best friends forever
And spells their lives out since the time that they were young
All the ties that bind them, the obstacles along the road
All the precious moments that gave colour to their lives

Imagine that this picture, etched inside you memory
Holds one little detail that you've never seen before
Would its revelation bring back your imagination
And hold the hidden power to change the story line?
Would the boy hidden inside accept the great adventure
That a few small brush strokes invite him to pursue?

This time, let me tell you the thing that you’ve been missing
The detail that’s been overlooked in all the years gone by
The painter of this story line that sketched our lives together
Signed this valued work of art with the truest signature
If you’d open up your eyes and see the artist’s message
You’d read there in my handwriting “please let me be yours”

If I were a word, you’d be pronunciation
You'd make me, break me, just with how you say me
And tell me how to sound
I’d have a different meaning when you mumble in the morning
In your daytime dazzling
Or when you shout at night
My existence right is with the emphasis you put on me
And silently I die out when I’m the sound you swallow,
Still
Still I am,
When I fall out of slang, replaced by another that sounds just like you want
Still I stand, in your old dictionary
That you haven’t used since you strike the right tone
Not alone, I stand, as you stand beside me
Even when you think you left to sing another tune
You spell me, explain me
In little scribbles right behind me that no one understands
Thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t sound the way I do
But it’s time now to leave you, leave you to die
As you won’t live without me, but on paper
I revive

You stepped in my soundtrack
Bought out the baton
You laughed at my lyrics
Rewrote verses wrong
You chewed on my chorus
And spat it back out
Cracking my key notes
And muting my loud
You revised my rhythm
Swallowed my rhyme scheme
You mashed up the melody
Now I want a new theme

She stepped back until the branch that hit her
Was nothing but a still part of a tree
Until the wind that had cut her skin
Didn't move her sight no more
Until she was just an observer
Of the mess her life had become
So she could set it still, paint it
As a picture more rosy than it
Ever would become

Her smooth skin
The night caresses
The wind carelessly
Tosses her hair
To where it went when
She blew caution
To wind that tickles
The soft light of
The moon that
Sparkles her eyes
And the wide
Waters sing
A melody of
Love, life and
Reckless abandon

“I’m gonna die”
The tear in my mother’s eye
Was enough
For my mind to start writing my will
Was convincing
Me that living would soon be done
In a month or two
“I can scream, I can cry
but that won’t change nothing”
Wondered by my own leap
To that conclusion
Shocked by the suddenly short
Life expectation of an 11-year old
Holding on to the pavement
Delaying the point
Of no return to a careless life

Dit is leegte
Voelbaar, aanwijsbaar
Zwaar op het hart
Zwart

Against better judgment, I forget
How the sun casts her shadow
On roads that unroll themselves
As minefields full of expectation
I find my pleasure in disaster that
Draws near when I laugh at it
Blowing caution to the wind
Of change behind me

Tegen beter weten in vergeten
*** de zon haar schaduw werpt
Op paden die zich uitrollen
Als verwachtingsvolle mijnenvelden
Genietend van het onheil
Dat nadert als je erom lacht
Verstandige adviezen sla je
In de wind die door je haren waait

Ze kijkt op
Alleen haar ogen verraden
Dat niets is wat het lijkt
Dat van alle woorden die ze spreken
Alleen die ene haar bereikt

En ze huilt
Zonder snikken, zonder tranen
Maar met wanhoop in haar blik
Omdat tussen al die mensen
Eenzaamheid haar verstikt

En ze zwijgt
En met gebalde vuisten
Verbijt ze al de pijn
En vraagt zich af *** het
Zonder haar zou zijn

Waar de zon wel lijkt te schijnen
Ziet zij nog alles zwart
Waar hitte de vreugde verdort
Zomer in haar hart

Waar de kleuren wel mooi lijken
Heeft de wind haar gevoel verwart
En de regen haar vrijheid doen wijken
Herfst in haar hart

Waar de zon schittert op de sneeuw
Heeft het ijs haar hoofd verhard
Snijdt de kou zich in haar lichaam
Winter in haar hart

Waar alle kleuren lijken op te bloeien
Maar de regen met tranen vermengd wordt
Hoopt ze dat het in haar hart
Ooit weer lente wordt

Het hart is
Een bodemloze put
Elke schreeuw echoot
De leegte groot als
Het gevuld wordt met het
Woord dat de holte
Doet klinken zonder
Het te vullen met
Levend water

Het geluk dat stuk viel
Op de vloer van deze wereld
Had gevangen kunnen worden
Door een uitgestrekte hand
Uitgestrekt over grenzen
Met de wens om een mens te
Raken en in liefde te delen
Van het gevangen geluk

Vechtend voor een verloren zaak
Doorboort ze maar al te vaak
Haar eigen hart

Voert ze steeds dezelfde strijd
Maar heelt de tijd
Geen wonden

Verschuift met elke stap op haar pad
Het doel dat ze had
Zich verder weg

Toch maakt ze tegen beter weten in
Steeds een nieuw begin
Aan de reis

Pakt ze steeds haar wapens op
IJdel hopend op
De zege

Als de dag je brengt
Waar je zelf nooit zou komen
En de nacht je geeft
Wat je nog nooit is gebeurd
Als je weg zich mengt
Met verzwegen dromen
Voel je dat je leeft
En buiten de lijntjes kleurt

I wish you were a song in my head
So I could play you when I want,
Stop you when I want,
Stop wanting you when you play
Me like a song in your head

She picks up her glass
Puts it back down
Listening to the sound
Of his comfortable breathing

He leans over, a smile
Confident and clean
‘It has been a while,
You should go, you should sleep’

Looks away, just in time
To miss her hesitation
She stands up, looks around
For a subject for conversation

‘I had fun, tonight’
His back doesn’t answer
Nor does it see
The tear falling down

She wipes it away
With her expectations
And follows him down
The path of no return

‘I’ll see you around’
While he reaches the front door
She checks her step
Feels his warmth when she passes

‘Text me when you’re home safe’
His deep but careless voice
A gleam of hope looks back to see
Just how he closes the door

And to the fading drums of
His receding footsteps
She sinks unto the sidewalk
Whispers ‘You are my home safe’

She keeps on falling from the tightrope
That connects her heart with his
Every first step frightens her
Thinking about how maybe this
Could be just that one chance
To reach the other side

Where to go
No-one knows
The horizon seems so far
Unreachable
Indefinable
Voices in my head are at war
Truths that whisper
Lies that scream
And a mind misled by doubt
Stuck in a maze
Lost in a daze
Searching for the only way out

He nodded, hardly looking up
As if they didn’t share same blood
As if she hadn’t been gone for weeks
As if he didn’t care
He hurt her, hardly looking up
Like many times before
Like in condescending looks
Like in stinging words
He knew not, hardly looking up
Nothing of her burning tears
Nothing of her growing thought of
‘Nothing to come home for’

Maybe there won’t be a
Last drop
To run over the cup
Maybe everything is just
One more drop
To fill the ocean up

A breeze seizes me
Leaves fall like make believe, I
Find my peace in grief

Her hands held on to
His fingerprints on
The other side of the glass
Window that divided them

Left her longing for
A moment to grasp
And cherish him and her
And what they never were

And while she watched
His back turn to her
She conquered the familiar
Sense of holding back

And with her fingers she wrote
The words in the dust he left
On the window. She whispered
“Look back and see” I love you

The spear leaves the bow
Sizzling sharp sound
Of the echo of words
Hollowed by clichés
Piercing my heart to deflate
The hope evaporates
Numbing my senses and
Inhibiting my muscles to
Turn away from the next spear
No wonder I wear
A shield

The light shines so bright
She can feel it with closed eyes
Scared of sudden splendour
Unsure if she can handle
So she blinks just once but thinks twice
Keeps her eyes closed and instead
Waits for the brightness to fade
Into something she’s used to
She knows she can handle
Comfortably numb she waits
For her eyes to adjust to
What they only had a glimpse of
What she thinks she can’t face
With the naked eye
If she would just catch sight and see
That there won’t be a different light
That those eyes will only really see
When wide open to soak up
The radiance surrounding her
Blurring the fear of ever really looking
As far as the eye can see

He sighs
My life
Is scattered on the floor
My heart
Makes art
As a mosaic forms
The glue
Seeps through
It paints the picture red
Time’s waste
The taste
Is bitter with regret

This sign on the road sets me still ‘fore I go
Tells me to glance at the map just once more
Tells me to look in the rearview mirror
Before I go

The glass wall before me refuses to break
Instead it reflects what I left and it shows
The path, when it cracks, I’ll be able to take
But it won’t

The landscape stretches as far as the eye
Can see the view of the future
But the cliff at my feet will just lead me
Nowhere

When ink fades
Stories live
And colour the world
Forever

To smile
Not knowing
Whether you mean it
It hurts

Again the thought
'When I'm alone,
I'm sure gonna cry'
Knowing that
I'll break my heart
Later that night
Aware I'll do this
To myself
A million times more
Aware that in the end
I won't see
Anything to live for

The wind lifts the leaves from the ground
And takes along my thoughts on a flee
They’re up in the air and so far out
Able to conquer the world without me

I sit on the park bench staring
At my own ability to fly
Holding myself back to follow
My dreams as they reach for the sky

Hoping that one day autumn will
Join forces with what I want to be
Pushing the leaves back to the ground
To unite and form a pair of wings for me

The greatness of the ocean
Captures me each time
The power of the water
The surface that seems mine
The rolling of the thunder
That rushes every tide
And still I find my peace in
The emptiness so wide
I could stare forever in
The darkness of the waves
And let the flood take all
My cares and fears away
Each time I feel that cool breeze
And smell the scent of shore
I wish to drown in the deepness
Of that ocean just once more

The light in your eyes
Prolongs every day
And each time makes way
For the joy of the moment
So simple and pure
Your words are a path
And each time you let
Me grow a bit more
And although I know
That this will once end
I know I will spend
Forever with you

If my mirror would listen I’d tell her to stand
Out in the rain, with her hands
Turned up and her fingers spread
To feel the drops that resemble the pain
Seep through but never form
A sea that will, when it storms
Bring back all the hurt to the shore

If my mirror would listen I’d tell her to stay
Just where she is ‘cause it is ok
To gaze out of the window and wait
For the sun to rise and make
The rain that brought in all the mourn
Dry up and leave the soil
Ready for a new flower to be born

If my mirror would listen I’d tell her to raise
Her head up to the sun that
Shines on her face and feel sad
Because light is not all there will be
And clouds will come once again
To give her the chance to stand
Out in the rain with her hands

When I pull you close
The space between us
Is just moving elsewhere
And your arms around me
Will not cease to
Silently push me out there
So that the air that once connected  
Me to you will now
Surround my skin with empty
Remembrance of yours
And choke me with the thought that
You won’t let me to
Embrace the man that you
And I both know I love

Every day when I wake it’s that daze that gives me
The choice to be lost or rejoice in the moment
That begins and convinces the rest of the day
To be irreversibly  just as he was