When you persist in delving despite their refusal,
And they say..."F**k it, here's what's wrong",

I wish I hadn't done that!

How can I  drink when there's no water?,
How can I read when there's no words?,
Where can I walk when there's no map?,
How am I supposed to speak, when there are no words?,
How can I indulge in you, when you're not here?......

I fear I find myself lacking in all these things,
All these things I need in order to experience you,
Drink you, read you, find you, speak you,

Have you.....

I wake in the night
to discover you're gone,
But the truth is you live
in my dreams before dawn,
You were never there really,
You're just so far away,
But we plan to bring life
to this dreaming one day,
When i hear you and see you
my heart truly leaps,
And i'm counting the days love,
Only 9 more sleeps........
(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2018

You know me,
All of me,
Who I am, am not and want to be,

You saw me,
All of me,
Who I was, was not and tried to be,

No pretence when you're around,
To your essence  I am bound,
You see me for who I am,
Warts an' all, see through the scam,

I can be my own true self,
Fake lies dust filled, on a shelf,
All that crap stuff, in the gutter,
You can see me, like no other.......

(C)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  07/05/2019

"There she is, the freak" they say,
Their constant judgement, every day,
The taunts and fear with equal measure,
They'd burn me out for sure, with pleasure.

Children pointing in the street,
Adults never want to meet,
Fairytales of warts and bats,
Do not help me, that's a fact.

Love and kindness is my game,
Casting spells without the fame,
Those who make their bad views felt,
Are also those who ask for help.

With all my good intentions I,
Will ask the earth, the moon the sky,
These people's lives to be enhanced,
I say the words, and sway the dance.

I never ask for me or mine,
I leave it up to the divine,
I never spite, or grudge or hate,
As Karma couples hands with fate.

So all I ask from everyone,
Is stop your kin from poking fun,
But my belief is to forgive,
And always live, and let live....

The night was fun,
She felt quite drunk,
The taxi left without her,
She wrapped her shawl,
And shed her shoes,
The night was all about her,

She walked and sang,
Quite merrily,
So unaware of danger,
A shadow showed,
A figure pounced,
She stood to face a stranger,

Her eyes were wide,
She shrieked with fright,
His knife rose up to cut her,
Her throat gaped open,
Her blood flowed downwards,
Her flesh sliced up like butter,

Excitement grew,
He felt the rush,
And moved on to her gut,
His knife took on,
It's own cruel life,
He continued with his eyes shut,

The moon gave off,
An eerie glow,
Blood tasted just like wine,
Another fix,
For lord Mountjoy,
Strolls home to plan next time....

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  2019

Dip it, your brush,
Into my ***,
And sweep it across my mouth,
Grip it, my throat,
Squeezing your thumbs,
And slowly begin to move south,
Kiss it, my breast,
Taste with your tongue,
Savour the mound with delight,
Sup it, my ***,
Drink from the well,
Make art with me, into the night.

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019

The cards, the choccies,
The breakfast in bed,
The dishing out aspirin,
To soothe my sore head,
The bath bombs, the nail files,
The glass of white wine,
The dusting and cleaning to make the bath shine,
No sulking, no fussing,
The giving of flowers,
The cleaning up after themselves after a shower??(definite one off),
These fine things and more are ours but once a year,
But that’s all it takes from the ones we hold dear......




I buried my mother on feb 28, my 3 beautiful girls made it extra special for me today, Mother’s Day 2018............. Thankyou Biddy, Niamh and Clodagh... I love you guys )o(

Two years to the day,
I still can't believe you're gone,
I miss you mumsy.

(C)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  26/02/2020

Yours was snuffed out,
Yanked so rudely from me,
Even before my own life began,
A flash and, what the hell?

All I have are pictures,
Stories, I haVe no scented memories,
No.... Visual comfort etched in my brain,
All I have are vague accounts,

Yet somehow, I feel you with me,
Not all the time but, certainly,
When the bottom falls out,
And I feel spent,

Your face pops right in there,
To be sure, a serene face,
A father's face, a tragically young face,
Too young to be gone,

Yet you are, gone I mean,
But only in person,
You're never gone from my heart,
The man I never knew, yet love,

For in spite of your death,
You gave me life,
What a gift,
I'll never stop speaking your name,
Harry to some, Junior to others, daddy to your sons,
My lovely dad... To me,

That way, you're never really dead, are you?.........??

She said he only did it once,
A lie, we all know now,
Her black and blue explained away,
The scar above her brow,


Her hair tied tight to hide the bald,
The clumps of hair he tore,
The telltale signs of running scared,
the make up that she wore,

The cancellations she would make,
Excuses wearing thin,
Her friends, becoming distant now,
Her signature false grins,

And now she sits explaining how,
She hit back way too hard,
A life cut short, a payback show,
She really marked his card,

If only she had said it once,
If only she had left,
He hit her once too often, now,
His prison sentence.... death..

If I had to,
My heart could single yours out,
Hidden in a stadium full of hearts,
Mine could single yours out,
The invisible thread that joins us,
The thread that only I can see,
I wrap around my hands,
Bringing me ever closer to you,
With each wrap and entwine,
Regardless of the cross words we had,
Or the debate we just had,
You, underneath a mountain of coats,
I could single you out,
That.... that is soul connection my love....
That is us..

Me:  "Hey, why don't we jump to the short queue?",
Him: "Well, because we have more items ***",
Me:  "yeah but, that queue is shorter",
Him:  "Yes, that's because they have less items, see?",
Me: "I'm gonna jump into this queue" ( changes to the short queue),
Him:  " No don't do th.....", aw crap!!",
Till operator:"Sorry ma'am, you have too many items, you need to join the other queue",
me and him: go alllllll the way to the back, of the long queue......

Patience my friends... Is a virtue, just ask my guy.....:D

This very day I was snatched from the edge,
My toes were just teetering over the ledge,
My mind is as clear as a brand new fish bowl,
Yet I made preparations to cease with this toll.

A mixture of chemicals, low mood and fear,
Made me think I no longer want to be here,
While I love all who know me, doesn't prevent,
Stop the world, let me off, I'm done paying rent.

But a voice on the line tricked me into defeat,
Using guilt tactics, promises, lies and deceit,
So I'm back to the lull of survival mode now,
For a while at least, step off the ledge, silly cow...


(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019

There is another,
A thief,
A past taker,
A future lacker,
An aponent if you like,
There is competition,
A rival,
One who had you,
But broke you,
I've claimed you as mine,
Unbeknownst,
She can try,
But she will fail,
Let the game of pursuit,
Begin........

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 31/12/2019

All you need is fair a heart,
And mix that in, with pure of mind,
Sprinkle in romantic thoughts,
And add some love, just use the rind,

You'll need a pinch of *** appeal,
And just a smidge of naughty thoughts,
Room temperature is always best,
For when you take your clothing off,

The kindest words work best this way,
And don't forget to blow a kiss,
And mind your mood as you begin,
And don't forget to make a list,

A candle red, with rose oil rub,
As much as you can muster up,
Mix all of these together well,
Voila!, a recipe for love.....

The void I felt before the light,
I begged the moon with all my mite,
I never knew that you were there,
To kiss my face, and stroke my hair,
I thought you were but faint a dream,
I dared to fantasise extreme,
You hovered over me that night,
And when I died, you gave me life,
You're just within my grasp my love,
Can almost taste that velvet glove,
Keep looking forward, right at me,
Don't lose your focus, now you're free,
That sweet redemption we have searched,
Love's a right, we both deserve.......
I love you!


(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  19/01/2020

Every scar,
Every deception,
Every bomb shell,
Led me right here,
So I would never,
Ever change a thing,
I'd do it all again and more,
Because right here,
Is where you and I,
Are destined to be...

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  10/02/2020

I had it,
Right here in the palm of my hand,
But my stupid,
Relentless insecurities,
And failure to believe,
Has cost me my life,
My reason for living,
Of course, I will go on,
But never the same,
My glass is shattered,
I,
Shattered, my glass.

(C)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com
29/02/2020

Her ball of fire never ceases to rise for me,
I trust her everyday,
She juggles the two with perfection,
Her ball of white replaces the fire for me,
And between such mind blowing awesomeness,
A sheet of glass it seems,
Glass with ripples and life swimming beneath,
Life, death, renewal, constant,
Her ebb and flow, her to and fro,
Pushing then pulling the tides for me,
Her changing moods, her four main cycles,
All for me, all for me....
And you

"Sleep when you're dead",
"Oh come on, liven up",
"What?? Nooo, please come",
"One two three drink!!",
"Snap out of it!",
"What's wrong this time??",

These and more, are phrases used by you "normal" people, in a ploy to entrance us very special, very unique, very very awesome people who have a condition known as depression.....
We'll sleep when we want to,
We'll liven up when our brain chemicals allow us to,
We'll come along when, or if we have the confidence to,
Don't.. Don't ever tell us to do that,
And, what's wrong?, if you knew us at ALL, you'd refrain from asking that question!,

Think on normals, we have feelings ya know!

If I took a cup of water from the Ocean,
Would it notice?,
I would, I’d know ,
If I stole a snowdrop from the ground,
Would the earth know?,
I would, I’d know,
If I stake my claim over your heart ,
Openly ask before taking,
Will You allow it?,
I stake my claim before you now,
Will you?,
Be mine until the last ocean runs dry,
Until the final snowdrop dies?........

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 07/02/2020

I'm sat here quietly, eating my tea,
My dog is here also, staring at me,
She's just had her meal, so why is she looking?,
She munched at it happily, while I was cooking,
Her eyebrows are raised, and she's sat bolt upright,
She'll raise her paw lovingly, poor little mite,
Or is she just greedy, and wanting it all?,
I should banish her from here, into the hall,
The both of us staring, with gazes so bold,
And while playing this stare off, my tea has gone cold........


(C)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019

Giver of life.
Upholder of existence.
Keeper of my heart.
All to my be.

These things and more are what you are to me.
These things and more are what you've done for me.
To give you my life doesn't seem to cut it.
I owe you more than that. I always will..

I know we're on a roll babe,
I love the time we share,
I know you love me now though,
I've yet to travel there,
These voices in my head dear,
They toy with me so much,
I worry you will tire love,
I'm not afraid as such,
Just thinking way too loud but,
My quietened mind is close,
For you have made a promise,
And you, I trust the most,
Just tell me that you love me,
And love my quirky ways,
So we can get to living,
Our next one million days...

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 22/01/2020

I fear you,
Always have,
Yet I love you,
How is that?,

you violated me,
I was young,
You remember?
What you've done?,

Saw you lately,
Felt the same,
But I'll always,
Know your name,

Winter, dark days,
Many names,
Doesn't matter,
They're all the same,

I have solace,
Take a note,
Someone loves me,
He's my coat,

He's my blanket,
Keeps me safe,
You can do one,
See my face?....

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 13/01/2020

Honey,
Sugar,
Juice,
Cream,
Liquor,
Candy,
The biggest compliment a woman can pay a man, is to release this sweet nectar before, during, and after the art that is love making..
You're welcome guys....

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  2019

Peering roung a corner
Ever searching for the one,
But not of love or glory
But a knife, a dart, a gun..

Looking for the culprit
Ever on your tender hooks,
Unravelling a story
In your head, regarding looks..

Paranoia deepens
With each  day you do without,
You've thrown away your meds now
So you start to prance about..

People see your moods change
And they act accordingly,
The intervention starts now
How you wish that you could flee..

Back to taking meds now
As you promised everyone,
The cage is built around you
Until next you try to run..

A work of fiction...ish
(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2018

There's a place I can go, to escape all the fear,
Where I'm free to be me, and can cry floods of tears,
It's a place in my mind that's a beautiful room,
It defends me in times of the terrible gloom..

I just stumbled across it one terrible day,
When I needed to end it all,and drift away,
I was making a plan, which would end everything,
When this voice, out of nowhere, made my ears ring..

And a film roll of pictures and sounds it would give,
Some of young, some of old, they inspired me to live,
So i listened and cried a lot, feeling it so,
And decided to store it all, wanting to know..

So I nurtured and kept it all deep in my head,
And I labelled that room of glee "For times of Dread",
So of course when the gloom takes hold, I knock three times,
And I'm welcomed with love, so inside I climb..

And a shower of images, sounds and such love,
Keeps me safe and alive, and it fits like a glove,
Scenes of happiness, wonder and sweet sanctuary,
Are all tucked up inside, for when I lose......the real me.....

She's evasive at best,
I beg her nightly,
Come visit me, please,
My body is tired
And my mind is too,
I need her here,
I need the velvet pillow of release,
Release from consciousness,
Just one night uninterrupted,
I long for her,
I long for sweet slumber

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 30/01/20

To take it on
To feel it rip
That constant dark
That sinking ship

It warns you well
You feel it creep
The hunger fades
And lack of sleep

The tummy flip
The ball of dread
You start to laugh
But cry instead

The Paranoia
Oh it *****!
The kids annoy ya
Way too much

The tide ebbs in
Surrounds you whole
You start to swim
Instead you roll

It swallows you
You flail and choke
you're thinking gosh
Is this a joke?

But life goes on
You learn to swim
You find the strength
From deep within

And live to fight
Another day
To sink, or swim
Who's to say?........

Now, what the hell has just happened to me?
i went to sleep, and felt semi human,
alarm goes off, open my eyes to see,
two mounds where my wee chest should be....

My ****** armpits stink, and have sprouted fuzz,
and there,s hair where my lady garden was,
my beautiful blonde hair is all goopy and limp,
and my face bares a likeness to a spotty young chimp....

When i went up to bed, i loved my dear mother,
now, the thought of a cuddle makes me run and take cover,
and that lanky Josh Owens used to repulse me, no end,
but today all i want is to be his girlfriend....

I suppose i will have to start wearing a bra,
and i,ll have to smile through all the taunts from grandma,
and my father will watch every move that i make,
and i,ll have to conform, for my sanity's sake....

Well, tonight when i lay down my spotty wee head,
i will lie here and wait for the morning, with dread,
with all these transformations,sweaty armpits, hair all grease,
oh dear universe, please help me make it through in one piece !!

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com2018   (re-edited)

You know the one,
Where we are wrapped around eachother,
The outside world is but a soft whisper,
A dreamlike state envelops us,
All we see is eachother,
All we feel, is eachother,
Fitting like two pieces of a puzzle,
Loving like two frantic beings,
That dream,
You know the one,
Where we fall into each other's personal space,
And the things we do do eachother need no explanation,
Where nothing else matters,
Nothing else matters,
But you, and I,
That dream....That's the dream I dream tonight...
And always, until I make it our reality...

(C)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 07/01/2020

I feel you lurk, behind me,
i know you, 'cause you,re there,

Whenever i am feeling fine,
i,m looking, everywhere,

You think that you can fool me?,
i,m not a naive girl,

I,ve seen the signs too often,
you,ve tried to crush my world,

I,ve tried to name you ghoul,
the black, the never ending cold,

They tell me you can follow me,
until i,m very old,

They try to understand you,
and they want to know your motives,

I tell them that i hate you,
but you,re something i,ve grown up with,

In time i,ll try to rid you,
although we seem as one,

And medication blurs the lines,
so much so, i can,t run,

I wonder if i want to live,
without you, on my own,

I love you, hate you, need you too,
at times you,re the strong one,

So on i go for now with help,
from them, and so it goes,

I,ll watch you as you follow me,
and keep me on my toes......



(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com2018

When you,re hiding in a closet,
thinking no one really knows,
and you do the things expected,
lifestyle, hair, hell even clothes,
what,s the point in being someone,
even you can,t recognise,
when the real you is much nicer,
never mind the sad disguise,
shake the cobwebs off and show yourself,
i promise, you,ll feel better,
and the ones who,d diss you,
matter not, tell them "write a letter",
you,re unique, a one off, all your own,
don,t let them tell you different,
you may inspire some other closet dwellers,
how excellent !

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com2018    (re-edited)

Blackboard paint,
Round silver handle,
Peeking through the crack,
Black light,
A singular chair,
Right in the middle,
Light bulb swinging,
From the ceiling,
And all my horrors,
Piled high in stacks,
Like magazines,
Jam packed.

(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 23/10/2019

Arriving there is always sweet,
Embracing you our lost mouths meet,
Our journies always fun and wild,
I long for you just like a child.

You treat me with such love and grace,
I love your heart, I love your face,
I feel so safe when I'm with you,
You hold me tight the whole night through.

You reassure me when I'm down,
You fool around, and act the clown,
You sense I'm down before I do,
And spring to life to pull me through.

But comes the time that I must go,
My heart feals heavy, weary so,
I cling to you and cry my tears,
You kiss them gone and wipe them clear.

The passing days bleed into weeks,
My empty bed is cold and bleek,
The wait for you seems endless at times,
I manage It by making rhymes.

I yearn for when we next entwine,
And I can briefly make you mine,
I vow to make this permanent,
And try to make you more content.

But until then, this endless wait,
Is necessary, it's our fate,
But one day we will be as one,
I promise love, to you I run.....

For you Rob x

When he's looking into your eyes,
But gazing over your head...

When he's saying aha, aha,
But he's thinking so much more...

When he's holding you,
But feels stiff as a board...

When you're sharing a meal for two,
But it feels like you're there alone....

It's time to ask yourself, is he really there?

He’s a creature of habit,
He has morals and goals,
He strives to be better,
He makes this girl whole,

He gives to the takers,
He never says no,
He’s the sweetest and kindest,
He makes my heart glow,

He makes love so manly,
But tender and soft,
He outdoes all others,
To me he’s the boss,

He’s mine and i love it,
He means me no harm,
He works hard to please me,
He’s like my right arm,

This man in my life,
Is the best in the world,
I’m eternally grateful he chose me as his girl......

(c) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2018

At this table,
We do not swear,
At this table,
We show respect,
At this table,
We love, only love,
At this table,
We share our day,

In this home,
We do not strike,
In this home,
We do not spite,
In this home,
We show love, only love,
In this home,
We share our sanctuary,

Time,
Where does it go?,
Does it join the back of the queue,
Like some never ending carousel?,
Coming back around again and again,

It's been a year now since you left us,
You left us, to join the back of the queue,
But not to come around again,
Never to come back around again,

Your queue took you somewhere else,
To some other time and place,
More like a train than a carousel,
This train never comes back around......

Time,
Where does it go?.......

You said.. " I'll wait for you". Lie, right?,
You stroked my wedding finger,
Telling me you were going to "wife me up"
Lie, right?
You said.. " I'll wait for you"
Lie.. Right?
So do not.. Accuse me of being deceitful..
Because you sir, we're the deceitful, liar all along..

Blessed Be

eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019

While life continues without you,
I ask you please to wait,
While friends and family gather too,
I ask you please, just wait,

While isolation takes a hold,
How dare I ask you, wait,
While work seems like a ******* hole,
I dread to ask you, wait,

While I am here, and you are there,
I plea with you to wait,
While you believe that no one cares,
I boldly ask you, wait,

How dare I ask for such a thing,
Perhaps you shouldn't wait,
Expecting you to wait til spring,
No, move along, don't wait,

Your suffering and loneliness,
You really shouldn't wait,
Take back your life, go out and live,
Don't sit around and wait,

I love you, need you with me dear,
But can't ask you to wait,
You do deserve a better life,
You'll thrive if you don't wait,

Be free, be happy now I'm gone,
I've let you go..

Oh...wait.....

Foam and froth
Ebb and flow
Moon and sun
To and fro

You and I
Yes and no
You said yes
She said no

You blamed me
I blamed you
When you left
I pulled through

When I fell
I fell hard
You felt bad
Sent a card

I forgave
Took you back
All the guilt
Broke your back

You proposed
I said yes
You designed
Your best dress

Honeymoon, of your choosing
Saw you watch teenage floosy

Catered to your every need
Watched as I got on my knees

Taking care of someone else
While you watched, and pleased yourself

Now I'm taking care of me
Feeling fine and feeling free

Taking care of whom I please
On my back, or on my knees

Wistful sea or waning wave
I fulfill that which I crave....

He's hiding out there,
Set to pounce,
He eats your sweet dreams,
Every ounce,
His cloak of nightmares,
Creeping in,
When you feel dodgy,
It begins,
The paranoia,
Endless tears,
The constant sleeping,
Silly fears,
A fresh assessment,
Doctors room,
A new prescription,
Numbing doom,
Your death averted,
This time round,
But with the devil,
You'll be found........


(C) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com 2019

I've travelled,
Unravelled,
I've healed,
Been revealed,
Ive waited,
Breath bated,
But you?,


I've cried,
Been denied,
I've sobbed,
And been robbed,
I've been clean,
Been obscene,
But you?,

You have tamed me,
Never maimed me,
You have loved me,
Soared above me,
Freed my sorrow,
Cupids arrow,
Yes, you,

(C)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com  17/01/2020

Sometimes you wonder
Who loves you,
I tell you,
But you still don't seem
To have a clue......