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Jul 7 · 529
Maddie Rea Jul 7
The thought before shredding those tiny pieces

Knowing with everything in me that I was saying goodbye to the life I dreamed of having

Already seeing two consequences of those actions

Here appears Slater that lonely fool what I wish to be without you

Beside myself this is just another loop

It kills me inside to know that humanity will never recoup

Three trays and a bag to carry me through this week

Cant we please just keep the peace

I can almost walk unsteadily down this winding dirt road

Praying for a car, all I can see is the train heading straight for me

It seems my ankles have now become bound to this track... ...Heading straight for me
May 29 · 192
Where Am I Now?
Maddie Rea May 29
Not sure how to start this

I wasn’t worried but now I get to sit here and think while I’m with there ******* junkies just proving to me that life’s luxuries usually pass by me

My stomach in knots my thoughts pulling from memory how you hold me our early mornings, the glass that caught my eye now red hot and scorching me, tears you saved me from now soaking up in my shirt, tears in my skin red and jagged

Sitting here watching that white rabbit, dig deep now walking towards the safe, oh the webs we weave always turn back on me, spinning the wheel and ready to reveal the chaos within now able to see the darkness

When you called out ‘mine’ you made a vow never allowing anything between us, sadly I know deep down this vow is most likely insane
May 29 · 136
Your Regret
Maddie Rea May 29
Feeding my insecurities my thoughts coming true

Saying everything’s okay forever and always

If I look into your ocean of eyes I will lose it and cry

Emotions flooding, my heart has stopped and my hands are shaking

Nothing will break me at least that’s what I keep telling myself

The best thing so far to happen to me and I’m already being to needy

I don’t know anything different but you are my path

Losing grip on my reality wishing I could just switch me

You make my heart race my body quake my thoughts freeze just wanting to please look where that gets me

Back to self doubting I’m not sure I want to be

Feeling my insecurities
May 29 · 135
Riding High
Maddie Rea May 29
My golden god why would you even give me the slightest chance,

They’re speaking ill words against me, will you be able to fight that battle someone has to be strong god knows that’s not me, offering me my wildest dreams knowing you will hate me in the end it wouldn’t be my life if it was any different, call me negative

A promise everyone keeps they always give up on me there’s something I just don’t understand, how inside I’m good, my rules are fair, my intention is always love and happiness but I always end up being the bad guy, everyone hating me, losing everything

Left with this black acid we call depression stuck with the thought of cutting my wrist,
Wishing only for the bliss,
Wanting six shots in my brain,
Waiting for the rain,
Hoping for the pain,
No faith No humanity No ease
Only trials Only test Only tease
May 29 · 142
Can I Lick Your Face
Maddie Rea May 29
Violent tendencies meeting eye to eye blood bag ****** dry

Ready for another line all I see is blood splatter

They’re hoping to haunt me taking this axe to your back

Don’t have the strength to take your own life the reapers waiting, patiently waiting for this small amount to overtake me

Ice in veins fog in my brain ***** you wish you could push the limits of my pain threshold, not meeting me never defeating me

Got a new ***** wishing you could hit ain’t even close but you can kiss this, your soul a new addition

**** in her *** she’s screaming ‘bet you won’t make me scream’ get on your knees, a demon overtaking me
May 29 · 119
Without Myself
Maddie Rea May 29
When you live without your soul for so long you learn to maintain, thinking it’s okay to be a little insane. When the time comes and you find the other half and you try to put it back together, chaos emerges. Relearning everything we thought we knew, living alone for so long what would you expect. Two people with more then two people it’s ten against two, craving friendship love harmony with eight others there to combat everything, pulled with a thousand thoughts every bit opposite of the last how could anyone think I’m okay. Together we try to be, everyone of me hating one another,not understanding, going through the day feels like forever but as much as I don’t know There's one thing I’m sure; I will always have all of them inside my brain. We’re just lunatics ready to just give up and quit but I must swallow this depression that eats away at my body like it’s acid. One of me screaming ‘you stupid *****’ and I may drag my feet like a tired little kid but somehow I have to keep moving with no motivation left in my body. I’m dragging myself around this cold body, not a ******* by nature, when you live with something for so long your brain is taught to think this is the way. When I wrap around you like a snake taking your energy away something odd I feel. Noticing your body how solid and tender, fluid but grounded, I can’t help but I could be wrong and I think this is our last song. I pray not but if it is I hope I can get my last note in before the ushers roll in, maybe you will be there to see that sin my lines always blurred one of few things I can be sure as we lay in this bed, the world will still turn.
So I wrote this a few weeks ago and I had no clue why... Today my eyes are open to the meaning. Scott you rocked my world in so many ways even if it was just a blink, I forever want you love, compassion, and friendship. Forever MY 5-0
May 19 · 146
Little Rattle Stilt
Maddie Rea May 19
Riddle me you will for this could be your last fairytale

Remember the only thing to restrain me for eternity is squid ink from the deepest of seas

But you will never rein with this dark blood inside of me trying will only bring you pain

I urge your attempts to pull this sword from stone when the just is shown you might be able to break just one of my bones

This contract in we marked with blood unborn show me your name or the debt you’ll forever owe
Maddie Rea May 18
Sit down take a breath feeling all this weight

Intake all the mistakes, the breaks, the maintain

Process all the information, the stats, the science

Another breath

With sore shoulders knees weak all I can do is shake

With tears in my eyes I hope I won’t break

Everything I give or they take

I have to remember:

-forever can be a second

-our life is entirety but to the universe it’s nothing

-the sky is blue but the color of the ground is forever changing
May 18 · 848
Sweet Nothings
Maddie Rea May 18
Feeling that pull again, my hearts racing can’t stop pacing; my mind is here just looping

This demon, eyes white laced with blue, whispering me sweet nothings

POKE POKE POKE another ******* finger to my chest, okay now I’m starting to get ******

I smile and laugh containing. Something quite deranged

What? Lost your oxygen; lost your thoughts; wish I could say the same

Delusions fueling me, forward into my hell

Now he’s making promises, promises that help me maintain POKE

This rage trapped in my cage behind this muscle and bone, my eternal flame

Ready to destroy your mainframe, let’s see how many times you will get away with ******* disrespecting me

Today you will see why I deserve to be placed in the ninth circle of fire ocean below me

Offering me the power I fake, the illusions I crave POKE

The reality I create just enough wind under my wings as long as I don’t look behind me

Titles I have earned, proving I can destroy your kingdom taking over that rein

Now all I can see is violent visions against this pathetic excuse, even for the slum of this city

Peeling every layer away till you pleading for death to come

Unfortunate for you I wouldn’t allow you that bliss POKE

Just one more sensual kiss from this white eyed piece of ******* ****
Maddie Rea May 7
I can’t even think to for the words for you, so many so little time..

I’m sorry: for being even a blip in your existence

For taking you away from your course

That I’m leaving a stain in your memory

For wasting as much time as I already have

You’re sleeping next to me tonight

That I won’t be your sacrifice

I won’t be able to give you our demon spawn

That I allowed myself to love you

I say you’re the most beautiful I’ve ever seen

I’m so ******* stupid

For absolutely loving our ***

Because I accepted you with ease

That we have a divine connection

I couldn’t help you help yourself

The others before me hurt you so bad

For not being able to give you the world

My emotions get out of hand

That sometimes I just don’t understand

I have shown you a different light

This will be our last fight

It’s our last night

But I have to stop there because you would tell me I’m making it about me or not trying to understand you

But tonight I will be selfish and I will say my side even if no one sees this

I’m so happy I got to fall in love with you even if you, as you say, don’t love me

You are the best I will ever have in bed; you hold me all through the night; our *** is unreal, the way you can make my body feel

You listened when no one would and wouldn’t when everyone could lend an ear

I haven’t had any serious nightmares since being with you but I’ll lay it out right I have nightmares every night

You make me feel unstoppable, I never would have felt that without you

The amazing things we seen and the earth shattering things you allowed me to dream

The way you made me scream acting out my fantasies

Purple spotted skin from the **** you were not into; including ******* on me

Feeding into my multiple personalities, allowing them to learn how to love and it’s ok for little Maddie to be

Letting Maddie roam free, mushroom hunting and ******* me

Telling me you actually enjoy my poetry; making me feel motivated and free

I love your soul and every personality including Zero... even if he wants to **** me

Nights and days in the cemetery; that night you grabbed my back, the nap that could’ve lasted an eternity make me believe

Most of all showing me that this reality is just another dream; coming to know me you know how I exit my dreams

So I’m sorry to say this will be our last memory because tonight I will finally give into my urges to bleed

I don’t intend to die but sometimes I can get a little extreme and hopefully tomorrow I might wake to a dream within a dream

I wouldn’t get my hopes up though because it will probably just be a cold reality
My God, My Fallen Angel, My Eternity. I love you more then I could ever imagine loving another. I truly hope your my twin flame, to meet again in another life, waiting for eternity to be your wife.
Maddie Rea May 6
When I first seen the devil what they say is true
He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on
It wasn’t love at first sight, maybe first touch
His eyes like a wolf wild and scared, drawing me in
Something I’ve only seen in my wildest dreams
His lips I knew were going to be a perfect match to mine
Marked with evident scars outside and in
He took my breath instantly knowing he would have my heart forever
His first touch making my body ignite fire in my veins; more addictive then anything I’ve ever experienced
The tenderness in his kiss ensnaring me forever
Through the woods he roams catching my scent; the smell excitement of what our unknown will bring, fear because I had already given him my soul but it had only been a few moments; feeling like eternity, we had already lived a lifetime
We decided a double homicide; a blade to my wrist, a bullet to his brain
When it came for me to be first I felt no different
How can you feel death when your soul is already gone
Feeling the blood dripping down my stomach, around my fingers
Simply handing him my somehow beating heart
The muscles in his arm having their own enticing movement as he raches to take my heart from me
I’m shaking, trembling, never seeing my heart he caresses my jaw
Unable to contain dropping to my knees I knew he would never love me
No matter what lies I tell myself or the ones he tells me I will always convince myself that he truly could love a girl like me
My dark angel my never and my eternity
All the while my body has become cold after these few days
May 6 · 218
As the Reality Sets In
Maddie Rea May 6
Frustration eating my insides never again will I feel you

Always accompanying me through everything always by my side

Thick and thin but now I’m to think to even let you in and if by chance you allow me that bliss

You **** back, my eyes close anticipating your hit but it never comes

Allowing myself to be consumed by the anger of the blow, lingering, never able to feel your pain

My adrenaline swells bring out the rage in me

Can’t confide in anyone because they could never understand and when they can fathom it goes ignored

My pain, anger, and rage makes them mad at me and only because I can’t obtain your beautiful pain; **** your excuses it’s not like you can just leave, it would only tear me apart

Whatever the debt I will pay even if it leaves everyone in pain
May 6 · 54
You Have Me
Maddie Rea May 6
My surrender down on my knees pleading and begging

Why is it just you that understands me is it just divinity

You forever have my submission please don’t hurt me

You have my soul even if you don’t want it you are my eternity

No matter who you are who I am our fire will diminish

Forever searching, everything in our path, never laying down for another

You have to be my eternity if it’s not I will always burn only for you

Scorching everything away from me until we unite in our future life
May 6 · 377
When the Ink Runs Deep
Maddie Rea May 6
What fuels us is much different then what humans need. We need emotions, chemicals, and lust. Zero fuels Steven, Terry fuels Raven; always matching exactly the same but polar opposites not just inside but outside as well, where I am weak you are strong. My knight in dull armor, my prince without the charming, my king without his throne. I will become your throne I will learn you and teach you. Accept without judgement, love unconditionally for all of eternity, i is you is we. For every cut you receive the blood will come from me. Every victory you receive I will be there to claim you, my prize. For every drum of your heart blood courses through me every jump you take I will falter so you come across unscathed. Every push you encounter I will pull you the right way. My perfectly imperfect, my unflawed mistake. My solid ocean your grassy plains with wheat whipping in the wind. When you’re my yellow eyes demon; when black runs your veins I can still see the love buried in your soul for me. In this life and every other you will always be my eternal fire driving me through in my darkest nightmares, the light at the end of my darkest paths, the one to always catch me diving off this cliff , to hold me when I am at my most evil. The angel to my fallen.
May 6 · 267
Falling in Divination
Maddie Rea May 6
This depth and darkness the hollowness that comes with you separating from me

How do I explain my love for you complete and whole

Your my fluid I’m your ground

Walking the path paved with daggers will our steps ever stagger

I’m not sure our feet are so calloused

Are you ready to take this flight with me

We can lose it all but I’m ready

Medication not needed

Fate now in our hands

Are you ready to step off this cliff

Lightning green flowing to me red string over coming you

Our power combined we are the true divine we can stop time are you ready
Maddie Rea May 6
Ready to give up now or never
Another way to make this river run
Not another cut let’s pull out this gun
Rays of yellow and gold cursing me again
The counter clicking closer
Blessed in another life please just bring me the knife
Piercing my veins again with the chemicals
One more bill to pay I won’t ever carry a tray
Don’t you want to hear me cry your name another to tally
It’s just a let down all this pain is temporary never reaching my limits
Wishing I could win this always deserving why can’t I earn this
Just one more battle know I will never win the war
The devil will have my soul another pill to swallow
Hoping only death will follow
Maddie Rea May 6
Finally got the money, took me all morning, I only have a few choices

Diving into the smell of death and the maggots, the sun isn’t hot enough while I’m sweating through my black tee

Middle of the night my stomach begging me, I go out to see how much shining weight it’s gonna take to carry me; Waiting at the yard my bones telling me to scream

Five am rolls around so I am deciding wether I live or die, fingers fly across the screen, anticipation causing the weak stomach. The text popping up, be ready, now to wait the three hour eternity, insides mutilating me. ‘Bing’ “I’ll be out in three.” Sandpaper skin, you better not ******* touch me

In the evening you’ll find me pleading with strangers, just give me what I need. Can’t you see I’m sitting here dieing, all they have to do is have a little sympathy

Soft caress of my purple brush, just another touch up. All you hear is the loud click of my heels, bass humming through my body. I’m over being fake and phony, just give me the money you now owe me. Packing up, so ready to leave, I can feel the hunger getting to me; I’m going 80 ready to pick up these five g’s knowing it will cure me

The pain is so bad I need this gun with me; my plan c just incase I decide to free myself of there monsters inside of me. Fever in my veins, ice in my brain, terrified to go back to where we came. Why can’t I leave this place; emotions gripping me, please let this substance ease my brain, only caring about this one simple thing. I can hear them all screaming my name as I no longer feel anything, all I can remember is the flash and the bang
May 6 · 118
Fighting Fate
Maddie Rea May 6
New elements discovered, is it enough to motivate us to move into the other lane

Not ready to face this fight, different person different light

Just want to pass out waiting and watching, ready to take the last jump

It doesn’t matter what variable you give me I will always **** life up

What happened to my dreams, now they’re just lost in my memories

Full of anger, void of all the rest, I’m ready to see my rest
Apr 17 · 54
Fuck Me Again
Maddie Rea Apr 17
How can things go so right then get thrown so hard into left field?
How can we have this dream and wake up every morning?
How can the whirlwind of colors disappear with the snap of my fingers?
Why can’t you see I’m just showing you I don’t feel like I’m better then you?
Why can’t you see how I envision you?
Why can’t I find the words to help you through this?
Mar 24 · 169
Never Forevermore
Maddie Rea Mar 24
Here I am on my knees again
Whispering for you not to leave
Please just love me
Why is it always a dream
****** it’s time to wake up
Is this wonderlust
I will always fly the wrong way

Ocean blue and your golden sunrise
Seas of green always haunting my memories
This will definitely break me

Emotions always controlling me
Allowing them to tear apart my insides
Past mistakes always following me

I wish someone would please just **** me
Set me free from life’s luxuries

Please don’t leave me asking to dream
My knees are weak my stomach tight
I cant afford to lose this fight
But tonight I will be promised heartbreak
You’re not wrong this is gonna be a hard bite
*To bad this pain won’t bury me*
Maddie Rea Mar 23
Walking the ally at night looking for a fight
No weapon just my fist and the starry sky
****** broken and bruised I'm still searching for you
My thoughts racing and chasing  my dream vacant
Craving that rush never forgetting the numbing bliss

Is this all life has to offer  needing more
Just want to feel human but i don't even know what that is
Behold the beautiful tragedy repeating the fantasy
Fill up the cracks paint the walls but it is still compromised
Where are the tanks prepared to create dust and rubble

Hearts as pure as gold full of good intentions
Tapping me on the shoulder they say don't look over
Wizardry trickery I assume he just wants to tame me
But looking back I trip on a crack in the sidewalk
Thoughts always leaving me always consuming me

Head held high you got this you'll be alright
My jacket zipped up tight
The pressure of anxiety clawing at my insides
Always walking eyes only watching my feet faster and faster

Unbearable without your touch finding your love
With anyone's company wish i could go back again
When you still showed love to me still caressing me
Unfinished thoughts if only you truly loved me
Why would you keep me chained and tied  no goodbyes
Your gonna leave me to rot and die
*You're only temporary.. *
Maddie Rea Mar 19
The emotions that bring the emptiness inside yourself
Like you just got kicked in the chest
To be at a complete loss of your future
Craving that sweet release you miss so much

Nothing will come from this
Always setting myself up for heartbreak
I’m a ******* making me feel alive
Always setting myself up for failure

Bring the pain I love it
Okay maybe half the time
Cuddle me while I’m crying
All while lies roll from your lips

Hating control I will take the power
Unless the voices say otherwise
I have a switch that turns off emotion
Not understanding why I can’t control it

I deserve this one way or another
Wishing it was a **** in my ***
Call me what you will
After school, words don’t hurt me anymore

They say ‘do good and good will come’
Obviously that’s a lie
I have never had someone try to help me up
All of my years have been full of screaming and tears

**** used to bother me
Learning how to love it
Pushing the rage down waiting for it to blow
Nothing gets me off better

Risky behavior thrill seeking
**** yes you can bust in me
I love to be your ***** *****
Not claiming the tainted blood in my veins

My failed attempts
No one knows
The chills I get putting the cold steel to my head
I am instantly dripping ******* wet

No warning no ****
Fill me if you can
Most can’t handle that
The second I tell them my fantasy they’re gone

If he has the status I will put his **** in my mouth
If you’re broke and busted this is not joke still I put him in my throat
Missing the mountains
I yearn for more

Don’t ask me why I’m like this there was no trauma
I can’t remember feeling any different
Stretching me to my limit
I wouldn’t mind six

They can all be friends or strangers
I’m a keeper of trinkets and first
I will forever be imbedded
My heart is a huge abyss

Depression leaving black rotting flesh
This needs to be put to death
They tell me I’m lying and that I can control this
What makes you think I don’t try why would I lie

I watch my feet when I walk making my time feel faster
Eyes red wrist ****** face feeling puffy
Silent screams escape my head
Never viberating my vocal cords

Cold metal locked on my wrist
Craving only escape all I care for is my music
Where is your god at now
My power I steal

Somehow my trust is automatic
I play the game to give you a false sense of control
Coming to reality maybe I’m the one always being manipulated
All it does is makes my knees weak

If you pull out fast it only makes me mad
I need you to degrade me
Five guys or one all blasting inside
I hope you fill all my holes

Our atoms mutating naturally or man made it’s all genocide
Receiving only my joker side
Just give me one second of your time
Gravity the only thing keeping me

Now I need you to do something for me
Spit on my ***** rub that ******* **** up and down my lips
All the way in all the way out make me ***
Stick your **** in my ***** now would you please *** inside me

Do you like my ******* today
In my hours of lsd you made me *** without touching me
I wish I had a match that is ****** up like me
Believing I can get higher then the trees

All of this is just a fairy tale
You will forget me with that deeply hurting me
My illusions you have made obvious
Wishing you would have been the first for me

It’s been going on to long either love or abuse me
Make it clear if I’m just another lay
My ****** and hard and I’m hot and ******* bothered
Can we get a little ****** and sticky

My purple jewels need your kisses
Getting insecure because I always stare
You don’t even know me I just want to please
Make me your pet

Laying on my front knees pulled tight face down awaiting
By submitting I’m asking you to use me
I only see love when I’m your *******
I just want your physical affection

Double penatration is key
You make me resist the urge to touch and ****
Take me to the bathroom force me on my hands and knees
Face pushed on the floor make me feel like I’m nothing

I need you to hold me
A knife to my neck **** in my *** put that gun in my ******
Make me scream while you **** me
How can I fufill this ******* need

This is all for now even if nothing came out
The drugs in my system I will always get them
Feed me pain so I can chase it away
All I ask is please **** me fill me
*...I deserve this through and through..I love you though*
Maddie Rea Mar 19
Wrapped around your finger
Better for you then others before

Colored glass mixing
Like a sunrise on the ocean floor

Lovers never apart
If so we dearly depart

Walking from me will walk you to your bed of dirt

Their black eyes always watching
Black feet clutching me

Their black wing willing to carry me
Your embrace used to set me free
Mar 19 · 107
Time Is Relative
Maddie Rea Mar 19
Time ticks so slow when I'm waiting for you
So unfortunately fast when i have you

Life will be to short once we are tethered
My mind and body screaming for you

Eventually i will gleam for you
Star crossed in this life and every other

Please just be my lover
For this bond will never sever

Eternity Forever
Mar 19 · 3.6k
The Masochist In We
Maddie Rea Mar 19
Cursed to this life
Everything pre decided for me
My happy and sad
My hate my love

We’re all just displays of skin and bone
Most with no souls
Crying about their five dollar latte
What should I wear today

Release from our lips sin and beauty
The sickness and desire it is going to take me
Hearts cold as ice freeing me from these emotions that are destroying me
Impaling metal and plastic just another facet

New to you another defect I see
Deep down my heart is still beating wishing my blood was seeping
Oxygen in everything wishing it would leave me
Break my bones putting chemicals in my veins

Once forever but nevermore
I’m in a sea of green and blue
Wishing something would set me free
Only pain pushes me to maintain

Step into my shoes just look see for a minute
Just a warning you will never come back the same maybe insane
Gold dust coursing through me never allowing me to feel the pain
With blue lips please just poison me
*you tell me constantly ‘go **** yourself’ let’s make it a reality*

— The End —