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too
moving everywhere but on
haven't accepted you're really gone
some words in a song
remind me

you'll never be more than you were
that's what really hurts
i keep remembering your words
its unlike me

to be so lost in thought
can't seem to shake this off
wish that it would stop
but it spites me

your laugh in a room across the house
quiet where it used to be loud
i am missing you so much right now
trying to take it lightly

but there's no right way to process
i'm trying to cut my losses
got caught up in the nonsense
now i'm crying
seems like all you want is
separation
ignoring the breakdown in
communication
i'm just trying to find a way to
save this
but you don't even care enough to
fake it
something hangs
in the air
like smoke
clings to our clothes
stings in my nose
but thats just how it goes
the lump in my throat
too large to be swallowed
causes me to choke
on the words i've waited to say
was finally ready to be honest today
let you see all of the pain
and stop putting on a brave face
but in the moment my resolves fades
all my vulnerability melts away
my heart cannot afford to break
can not let my strength budge
cannot value any trust
can not ever fall in love
isolation needs to be enough
when you're this afraid to be touched
this regretful of things you've done
just popping in
wanted to say hi
but i'm afraid
to speak my mind
terrified to fall apart
to cry
avoiding what could be the end
tonight
softly
can feel that you forgot me
in the gut it shot me
i want this feeling off me

awfully
only my pride stops me
pressure slowly dropping
everything turns wonky

and its not like i've never been ignored before
it's not that i love you all that much more

i just feel like i'm making the same mistakes again
and i dont wanna lose someone again
this is me trying
take it for what you will
i dont want you to see me crying
and i'd never wish you ill
but i need to know
if your hands wanna hold
or smother me below
kilos of ice cold
interaction
and days of non-existence
couldn't be happy
without your permission
i just wanna talk
but it's complicated
a feeling is taking up my brain
but i don't know how to phrase it
stumbling on silly words
no right way to say it
yours are special to me though
every syllable sacred
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