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everyday
i wake up
in pain
emotional
physical
the kind i can't explain
why don't you see
why don't you care
just expecting me to move on
from yesterdays failures
all of my underachievements
my potential wrongs
and i probably would
if you didn't constantly
bring them up
being around you
is a reminder of why
i'm not enough
and i have tried
to numb myself
but it hurts just the same
but i'll keep it to myself
you don't care to
hear me complain
i just wish you understood
but i can't expect you
to know
being around you willingly
taking
blow after blow
bruised after you're done
accepting the way
things are
to you i am
just another
bleeding heart
i'm a wreck
i'm a mess

been this way
since you left

need your love
i'm obssessed

nothing else
to confess

without you
i'm in ruins

learning that i
can't do this

you absence pains
my mind loosens

when are we
gonna do this

i need you
here and fast

happiness
will not last

where are you
please come back

i'll do anything
you ask
She lives through her words
So carefully placed
Without them she would be faceless
And I think that makes her beautiful
That she has found her identity
Because I'm still working on mine
i stare into the mirror
analyzing the view i have of myself
i'm not too bad so someone could love me
but there is nobody else
i'm tired of being lonely
i need a person to be mine
but they don't want me and as i stare
into the mirror i can see why
half an insult
partial praise
called on throughout the night
ignored during the day
how am i enough
but never enough
quick to love me down
even faster to shut me up
you hold me close
and whisper into my ear
you make me feel wanted
when no one is near
but when you see then coming
you hide me from the others
stranger in the street
understanding under the covers
i cant remember exactly what he did
but that does not make me a liar

i cant explain why i hurt myself
but that doesn't mean i like it

i'm so broken and hurt
and lost and tired

and for some reason that makes you
excited
The title is when you step up and say how things "actually" are because actually...
i am not evil
i am not kind
i am a person who does what it takes to survive
basically stop labelling me as a blessing or a curse.. and also kind of did you miss all of the signs that told you this?
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