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searching for purpose
in places that make no sense
only reached out
cause you're ****** up again
only want me
cause i'm a safe option
love the version of me in your head
not who i actually am
projecting your esteem issues
to soothe insecurity
i want to help
but i'm not gonna let you decide for me
what you really want
isn't my company
you want acceptance and affection
that i can't give you comfortably
said it was nice to hear my voice
if only just for a couple seconds
but you also said you wouldn't let secrets ruin us
and you still let them
so it's hard to feel happy in the moment
or when i remember the obsession
you got to leave and be okay
while i sunk into depression
you'll never know what it's like
on the other side of rejection
it's a whole lot sadder than missing someone
you decided to abandon
and a whole lot harder than
getting lonely enough to send a message
you knew what you were doing
when you came this direction
lucky enough to feel hope
but it's so misdirected

that it's kinda sad
you should go back
and i'll pretend this didn't happen
because we can't go back
why don't you know that
you can't always be the exception
and when you were
you let it burn
so don't miss what you ****** up
'but it really really hurts'
but that's what you felt i deserved
how it feels to be so unworthy of love
just because i have issues maintaining my boundaries
didn't mean i needed to treat people like ****
in the moment i felt cornered
so i overcorrected and when
i veer into that territory
of fighting invisible enemies
i let the negativity
get the best of me
i'm sorry i spoke to you like that
i didn't want to it just happened
that's me being honest
not defending my actions
i wanna promise i won't do it again
but i don't wanna lie you see
if you stay i'll try my best
but i understand if you choose to leave
they say don't smile in your mugshot
but i regret not a thing i did
people like him
deserve what they get
i didnt even mean to
but i'm not mad it happened
and if that's a sin
i think i could live with it
maybe might have broke your heart
jury says guilty as charged
but did you ever care for me
or did you just want company
did i really break your heart
or were you already scarred
you put that pain on me
cause you refuse to see

what she took from you
no one can replace
staring through me
to see her face
you never loved me
i just felt safe
don't hate me for not wanting
to fill her place

**** talking with your group of friends
it's always bittersweet by the end
swear i'll regret leaving
still asking to see me
keep knocking but i won't let you in
keep complaining to all of them
you're the synonym for needy
is this what you call grieving

sorry that she took your love
so all you have is hate
sorry i couldn't live
being second place
you hurt me too
but we only acknowledge your pain
tell them what i did
plead your losing case
i've been crying myself to sleep every other night
when i'm not falling apart it's kinda nice
doing what you did you had no right
but thats cool it's what it is have a nice life

no more fighting to prove
how much i love you
just to be disposed of
when i'm not bending backwards to make you happy

i'm not gonna fight
with you the fiftieth time
meant all that ****
not gonna half myself for you to have me

***** that it took all this for me to know
you never had good intentions like i'd hoped
saw my optimism and reached for your rope
that's cold blooded ****** but you like it when i choke

no more lying to feel okay
or waiting for you to change
if you were gonna
you'd already be a better person and you're not

it's really kind of stupid
i begged you to do this
but i know better now
but will you listen when i ask you to stop
no more waiting
on you to change
it's like staring at the sun
until it rains
what if it never does
and when it does what will i do
a couple burned retinas
and water in my shoes
no more waiting
on you to be better
it's like asking a tree
how's the weather
no reply
and if it did i'd lose my ****
and i've already lost enough
let's not be friends

no more thinking
you'll treat me right
no more crying
to sleep every night
no more watching
shrinking headlights
no longer welcome
this is goodbye
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