I want to be with PAIN so badly it hurts

Maybe it's me I'm the one that is not right
Never once was I  provided wit a hot plate
From a significant other in my life
And you wonder where my heart be
not ever did you sooth my
Stomach
guess I didn't deserve a morsel or a portion  mother & sisters made sure I had a meal even on my own i cook for self ,but will still prepare substance for your dining pleasure digest your conversations , comfort and encourage your dreams ,but I know not one that did the same
How do you know what love is ?  
You're talking crazy
in dire need of directions to
    Empathy Avenue          
Well I'm lost too  
I fancy your dance moves
But can you bust a groove infront of a skillet
**NO .

Respect my privacy
I tell you a little
which seems like a lot
You gain knowledge
But fall backwards in thoughts
Your questions are lengthy
My answers are short
Sharp like daggers
Long winded I am not
Unless I stare into your eyes
during  such occasions as "pillow talk"
I am complicated in the least
My full support is yours to keep
So why the hounding ?
Why are the alarms sounding
at Me ?
Your best friend your lover
Truth be told
From your point of view I see quite clear
In your own way you're portraying
That you care
But RESPECT
my **PRIVACY

The Last Words Uttered
The Piece Of Resistance
Quiet spoke louder than actions
Retaliation is no longer a factor
Let It Go
Peace of Mind
Calm Spirit
Leave well enough alone
To be alone is not a Death Sentence
IT is just Solitary Confinement
Until the right ONE
With Authority
Has the correct key to Unlock
Your psyche
SO PATIENTLY
I'll be waiting, waiting and waiting
On you

FREE ME.

A cool dip
Into Heaven's Elixirs,
Topped with a warm
back rub given by an Angel,
That speaks truths,
Not fables,
A day of Bliss,
A night ended with a kiss,
Prolonged by yearnings,
Calmed by words which are discerning,
A feeling remembered after ages,
It heals you without taking,
The more it gives the more you enjoy,
Recovering lost joy,
Finding peace within,
Knowing you're not being toyed with,
To yield your shield and still feel secure,
EUPHORIA

Up by Serenity Avenue
Right across from Helping Hand Boulevard
down the road from Pleasantville
in the Tristate's area of Happy Days
You can find my Tranquil Place
A destination where a smile stays on my loved ones' faces because I try to make up reasons
to give them wrinkles for when they reach old age
in my circle I cause laugh lines
its been this way for a long time
I won't change, but sometimes
I can get lost in my waves
after ripples disturb my puddle
All in All
I stay the same I'm like McDonald's
I want to turn that frown upside down
so if you truly know me
my company is your cup of tea
on a Sunday
on a porch
in a rocking chair
during midday
designated within
MY TRANQUIL PLACE

Even though you no longer have POWER
to warm my Frozen Heart
You're still double THE COOL
like two Ice Cubes
So on that Temperature Level
We can relate
I ain't mad at'cha

It Is What It Is

Two Snow Flakes of the same brand ,but understand and accept that they will always be different from one Another.

❄❄

You like a certain type of dude
it is obvious I'm not that guy
Star player Ball player
Player Player
My default settings are
Play Shy
Hustle Hard
Critical Mind
but you're Oblivious
Enticed by
The Lifestyles' of the Rich & Famous
I grew up Poor & Dangerous
but learned and later on
Thrived from it
so values is a term I hold dear
I work to Succeed
but won't lose my integrity to greed
I'm a hard case with soft heart
you could NEVER understand that
If you're a Material Soul obsessed with the Material World

I am so glad
Full of The Light
Full of Delight
Joyous occasion
You can catch this grown man skipping
You can tell by the way I use my walk
I can finally move on
Presently happy praise Thee Almighty
The Past tense was ungodly
it felt like metal spikes
pierced my spirit
nails hammered through my Nikes' sole
straight into my feet
kept me planted effortlessly
She gave less **** than constipated
and I still saw her as an Angel
Laugh Riot
**** was I jaded but
C'est la vie

Took what i needed from the situation
now it is all about
BREAKING EVEN

The darkness has been lifted

I can see clearly now

The New Day is Upon

It has finally come

Now I bask in The Glory

I Feel Blessed

For this new found enlightenment

My heart believes

As far as my eyes can see

Over The Horizon

I Thought
I Lost A "Good Woman"
That trauma caused my pulse
to lay flat on a gurney
Ambulance Sirens of Dire Emergency
Rang loud in my eardrums
On my way to
The Heartbreak
Came to find out
It was a
FALSE ALARM
Hallelujah!!
I'm Alive
But will not ever allow
myself to be swindled again
It is hazardous to my health
Amen!

Understanding made me feel Obligated

Love makes me Oblivious

So much time and energies wasted

SQUANDERED

When they could have been

Deposited into a more worthy Entity

Now is the time to rise and **BE STRONG

I went to War,

And Fell in Love ,

I'm an *******,

And A Nice Guy,

Isn't that funny,

I'm a 5 star restaurant,

Located in the slums,

Diamond in the rough,

Venture at your own cost

The Ocean is her home,

But she wishes to venture places Unknown,

Above her world, The Surface world

Bottom feeders have left her post modem bored,

She is convinced to Pursue "New",

Can you blame her for chasing Waterfalls,

Instead of sticking to the rivers that she is use to,

She fiends to be Free,

From the shackles of conformity

To Me the word Soon
Does not mean in a short amount of time,
I see it as a lie, in disguise , of a truth,
I'll get this money soon,
I'm getting my car soon,
I'll have my house soon,
To me soon doesn't come soon enough,
It is the worldly equivalent of eventually,
It is sad to me that my people do not know
The designated dates of when they shall obtain the things they desire,
If you use the word soon you're a liar,
I say I will and I say I got, but that doesn't make me better,
It just means my thinking is better off,
Than wasting my time in wonder,
YOU ,YES YOU!
Make A plan of action, Set out A map,
And reach your destination's mark,
I'M TOO SURE OF MYSELF
Soon Is just doubt,
So it does not ever casually venture out of my mouth

A smile is Contagious ,
For reasons Unknown,
She is *Immune

We All have Flaws,
Stubby nose,
Bushy Brows,
Crooked smile,
Whichever it maybe
But those are the types of things
That make us UNIQUE,
The details to our grand design,
"There is no one like Me"
Take pride in that,
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
To prejudge based off of one's appearance,
Now that is what you call **UGLY

You have to be Super Human,
Your invulnerability inspires me,
When shots are fired
You try to evade not One,
You firmly plant your feet
Turn the other cheek
And reply "If you miss me , You Miss Me",
Shrug shoulders
With a stone cold face expression,
Gift wrapped with a warm smile
Every breath you take
Inhales and Exhales "I am God's child",
Thoughts of you border admiration,
I Believe you can fly,
To sore like Icarus ,but would not free-fall due to arrogance,
You have to be Superhuman,
No weapon formed can harm You,
Even when evil doers want to tarnish
Your Truth,
You retaliate with A Sunshine Force Field
And say
"It's all love boo",
Up, Up, and Away,
You slip on your cape
and try to brighten another caper's day ,
What can I say , You have to be Super Human

I survive off Energy,
not negative vibes,
but Positive watts
it sustains my life force,
and uplifts me
to the highest of heights
high above the ceiling,
venturing pass the stratosphere,
until i find myself conversing with celestial beings,
the feeling of feeling,
leaves me open
to all manners of interpretation ,
We are who We are,
when you become vulnerable,
Emotions run ramped explosive like
The Birth of A Dwarf Star ,
anything outside the realm of good intentions ,
I back track , and revert to that of a hermit turtle incased in my shell,
NO ONE ALLOWED !
In the sanctum
not until i can tell the outsider means me no harm
They just want  
my charismatic company
& electric charm

As a King you inspired
And became
A Living Legend

Better Self
To Better Live,
Be Better than The Man
You was Yesterday
EVERYDAY,
If you truly want to have
Things your way,
GET UP, AND AT EM
You're not inferior,
So don't just sit on your posterior,
Make your intellect as a sponge
And absorb knowledge,
Which is POWER
With each new cycle
To triumph over any obstacle,
Humans make mistakes
Until they rest in Open graves,
So don't seek perfection
Just learn from ALL lessons

I lick my lips,
Then tenderly kiss your neck,
I hold your waist with sweet caress,
My hands appear rugged
But have a soft touch,
I want you to feel my Love,
My Love,
So my fingers rub your cheek
While whispering in your ear
"You're A Blessing"
Then look into your eyes
Which are filled with anticipation
And ask if you're ready,
For me to pleasure
One of God's greatest creations,
Your Body
I hear the quiet gulp
And the word trips and stumbles
Out of your mouth
timidly Yes, confidently ravish Me,
I take my tongue since I no longer need it for talking,
And stroke it around the rim of your lips , ever so slowly,
I feel your breathe breathing me in,
So I hold the back of your neck
And kiss you Deep , Oohh so deep,
**** these lips as if they were candy from my childhood,
And bring you into Me
I start to unbutton your blouse

TO BE CONTINUED

I've always imagined
The Perfect Woman for me,
Fixated and Craved her,
Until She Manifest
In my dreams
And in my private thoughts
When I'm not asleep,
The embodiment of my preference,
Sweet, Feisty, Classy,
Above Average far from it
Beyond Basic,
Free Leader, Free Thinker,
Can Cook like my Mother,
*** like an Adult Film Star
And Hustle like Me and My Brothers,
Earth's definition of To Be Different
Is Her definition of To Be Normal
Which is the turn on to my light bulb,
She illuminates my scenery,
So where do you find such
An outrageous, curvaceous, ostentatious
Specimen as this,
My world seems like it will never know
The Grace of Her' Presence,
As I walk strong On this Glory Road,
I relentlessly pursue
The girl that stands tall on the standards
I have built up in my mind,
My Uncle always told me
"In Do Time",
When you know You'll know
Patience helps you Grow

A Mother Cares,
A Mother Shares,
     Mother is always There

In the still morning,
how do you wake up ?,
If you never went to sleep,
4AM and your eyes are beyond weak,
5AM the sky is cracking,
Your Heart is racing ,
There is no patience with in you,
6AM The Sun Greets You,
Hello kind Fellow,
With a bright shine and a glow,
Thinking all is well and fine,
But he doesn't know,
Dark clouds are manifesting in your mind,
You've already spoiled your own day,
Because yesterday the one you let get away,
Stayed away , She doesn't want to stay,
And its all your fault , for chiming in at the wrong cue,
She was not ready for you,
The "Man" Before hurt her something fierce,
To recover it would take beyond years,
I'm talking Eons, After that calamity,
But you rushed, So another one bites the dust,
Just your luck , She is inside and out BEAUTIFUL
....but a mess,
And you can no longer Feel Truly Happy
Because you realized you fell in love with A Gorgeous Tragedy