Bitter and angry
Are written into my skin and bones
I walk as a hurricane, an earthquake
You might love the storm,
But you'll never love the aftermath.
We are destined to fall apart.
I was meant to be alone.
Don't lie to me.
I might be a mess, but I know the truth.

Crazy people, lovely people
bashing atoms, creating chaos,
What a supernova- you've created a ******* supernova.
and that's why there's a black hole now.
You're organic, so why live like you're plastic?
live, darling
******* live.

A day without you is meaningless.

I
wrote
you
a
letter
and
I
never
sent
it.
You
wouldn't
have
been
able
to
read
it
anyway,
my
handwriting
is
just
as
bad
as
you
remember.
Maybe
worse.

Possessive and Dismissive
You have to do back flips to get her point,
She says she cares when she doesn't and
she says she doesn't care when she does
You can't worry about her because she can handle herself
But you have to worry
She snaps if she's in a bad mood
She snaps if she's in a good mood
She is New York and California
She is the sun and the moon
She is decisive and unsure
She seems a bit hard to love,
it's the only certain thing about her.

Scene: You were standing in a field with lots of lovely wildflowers.
There was blood everywhere,
A gallon and a half,
(to be almost exact)
And she was pale-
Like the moon,
If you want to be cliché, if not
maybe a piece of mozzarella
Ha! (What a cheesy metaphor!)
She was Still
Still
Still
But she was not Still breathing
Her lungs were ice, you can't
Catch your breath with a frozen chest.
So there she was lying in the sun,
Absolutely and totally covered in blood
And here they come-
the butterflies.
Growing up you saw pictures
of butterflies, sitting on flowers,
you probably even learned about their life cycle.
And when you got older someone told you

Hey! Did you know butterflies drink blood too?

And maybe you did know that and maybe you didn't, but the important part is that it's true and you probably haven't put much thought into it. I mean why would you?

anyway, my point.

The butterflies come and they perch on her arms, and chest, and eyes.
They rest, and they drink, and they live just a little bit longer and soon she is absolutely covered head to toe and you can't see her pale moon face, you just have to imagine that her body is under this chaotic blob, and more of them are coming and now all of them are fighting, and you never even thought that this was possible,
and now they're hitting each other and falling and dying and you, the luckiest soul gets to watch the battle of the butterflies.

The terrible grace of beauty under pressure.

I want to write about you poetically,
But you don't deserve my time.

So it happens like this
Everyone is watching, and I'm begging
Look at me! Please!
For just a second, hour, day! Please!

Don't you see the issue? I'm constantly
Effecting everyone, every day
Still, I'm not, I'm not,
That important to the whole scheme
Really I should just walk away
Unless someone really cares, I'll fade
Care not, farewell
To the long drop and deep sleep,
I wish, I want, I would, I could if
Only I could give it up, A toast! To
No one, no where, no way, and no how

If he did care about you,
then you wouldn't be wondering if he did.

You can try, but you'll never replace the meaning behind the places you try to rename.

Face the consequences of what you've done.

Do you think he ever misses me?
Even if it's just a little bit?

I didn't
have to say
"help me"
because you already
knew what to do.

She is green tea with honey,
summer days and blonde hair.
She is a golden retriever
and a husky,
happy, intelligent, yet reserved.
She is the beach and a sunrise,
campfires and s’mores in the warm air
breathing in the dust and smoke,
laughing about two years ago.
She is incense and paintings,
blue walls and ceilings,
she is a ***** joke said
offhand with raised eyebrows,
she is stacks of books and video games,
she is bubblegum ice cream and
walking through a cemetery.
She is old technology and practicality,
she is punctuality  and arriving
early with a peach smoothie in hand.
She is the cold shock of river water.
She is alternative music blaring from
a ****** car radio and a road trip
where everyone but the driver falls asleep.
She is rock candy and ice cream bars, riding the biggest
roller coaster ten times over again.
She is a content silence and
a sly smile.
She is mine and you cannot have her.

It's the hope that gets you

Every sentence is punctuated with a little sigh
because I know I lose more of your attention every second
and you don't even bother to listen now,
you fight back ,
you help me drown.

Sometimes when I feel very alone,
I want to call you and apologize in every language I know.

And then I remember that you do not miss me, you do not care about me, and you do not deserve an apology from me because I have done nothing wrong.

And then I feel a little bit more alone. And a little bit more okay with it.

There is no more you to save me.

I care
SO MUCH.
At least,
I can pretend
To fit in with the emotions
Of the latest social trend.
I am cold.
I am controlled.
I know that empathy
Can further me.
If only I can pretend that I am not just pretending.

You pushed me out
And I probably should have stayed
But it's September again
And these are my vulnerable days
Where I'm left to wonder
Why I can't ever be enough

I am Impatient
and Incessant
and I'm sure I will be
absolutely overdressed
to my own death.
My God
have you ever seen a girl
look so brokenhearted
over a dumb game of chess?
A debate lost in hate
and traveling affairs
luring in to the lustful
witches lairs.
I'm rhyming and dining
the newest generation
of plastic,
photo copy,
photo-shoot-ready,
instagram celebrities.
I'm no genius,
I'm just obsessed.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Because I certainly don't.

You can't hurt me
If I can't hear you

He's either dead or in love, but those are basically the same thing, so don't worry about keeping up.

You aren't weird
You're trying too hard to be
Anything but what you are
Which is perfectly normal

I gave everyone a part of me
until I was a ghost.

I watched her get her ears pierced and it hurt me more than it hurt her because it made me think of the time I got mine pierced and you were there but now you're gone and I miss you but you don't miss me.

I'm sorry.

For what?

Everything.

I don't understand.

I know.

Will you explain?

No.

Why not?

I can't.
I'm sorry.

you forgot about things we used to care about together
before everything we had got a little bit harder to have

The criminal always revisits the scene of the crime, as if you were the criminal, and lying to me was the crime. Does that make me the victim? Well then who was the witness? Was she your accomplice? We have left this alone for a year, you moved on, I wasn't expecting to find you back here, where I am stuck on this metaphorical street, waiting, just waiting, for the criminal to return to the scene of the crime, all the while I was waving to passerby's and saying "I'm fine!" Was I lying? Would that be a crime? I'm fine, ******* it, I was doing just fine! Until the criminal decided to return to the scene of the crime, what's even the difference between a wrong and right lie? And what if I were to just say goodbye, to you and her and him, would that be okay? It not like we have much to say, part of the same crime, but on different sides, and what if I can't leave this metaphorical spot on the street? You could promise me to never come back, but we both know that would be a lie- because the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.

I am watching you
In my peripheral vision
And counting all the times you look at me (when you think I don't see)
By the end of the night it's at 43
That sounds pretty lucky to me

I forget how to speak when I'm around you
And even in my dreams I'm left speechless too

Did you notice?
Did you care?
.
.
.
Are you lying?

Do my lips look natural?
Because they're not.
Does my hair look natural?
Because it's not.
I'm a synthetic girl
I'm fake
And you could say I
#wokeuplikethis
Because I'm not awake
Until I've painted my face
And gone through the daily routine
Of using blonde hair to hide green
As if I could play off 3 colors
As a natural thing
My hair is messy (but cute)
In a natural way
And my cheeks are contoured
Because some girl had the audacity to say
They look better higher up
And I can't (just can't) go back to my old way
I paint my lips slightly thicker
Because that's just the trend
But if you could just lend
Me a hand in understanding
What natural even means?
Because I think it lost its meaning.

I used to long for your affection
But now I'm asking myself the question
How did you ever catch my attention?
Did I want to be hurt?
Because, *******, you're a ****
And it's driving me berserk
To see
Exactly
Who I thought you wouldn't be
But the rose colored glasses are off
And I just have to scoff
Because I never realized who you were
And I really hate who you are.

I'm invisible.
And I couldn't be happier.

I wonder if you will look back and regret this.
I wonder if we will know each other in five, ten, twenty years.
I wonder if we even really knew each other last week.
I wonder what you have planned for your future.
I wonder if you have even considered forgiving me.
I wonder if i want you to.

I wonder what your answer would be, if someone were to ask why we fell apart.
I wonder what mine would be if someone were to ask me the same thing.
"We were too different," I might say.
I wonder if I can blame you for what you did, instead of blaming her.

For now, I am content.
For now, I am not torn up inside.
For now, I have what I want.
I will see you later.
But at the same time, I will not.
Because we are never going to be exactly the same people ever again.
That's just the way time works.
Right?

So I will see a version of you again, in the future, wether you want to see me again or not.
And maybe we will catch ghosts of who we are now.
Only time will tell.

Pop-tarts are not as good as pop-tarts

Sometimes they get so caught up in hating each other they forget I even exist.

I was never really close to the place
You used to tear your heart open
You claim
You think if you put on thick skin
We'll turn a blind eye
We'll be so hurt
That we will leave you alone
As we sulk and lick our wounds
And we will cry to our pillows
About how stupid we were to hurt you
As you laugh and you live
Your new life
(Without strife)
You left that all behind when you left us out dry
But we aren't crying
Or dying
Or beginning good byes
But we're sighing
And trying
To start again

The more I find out about family
History
I realize
That being a traitor
Is simply in my bloodline
I'm a cheap rosé
Pretending to be fine wine
From French nobility
To Spanish pride
My ancestors wrought havoc
On their own modern times
It's time for me to step up to the plate
And make my choice
To grow into the role I was assigned
Or write my own lines
But whatever I choose
The choice is mine
And I know whoever I am
I'll be great
remembered
divine,
How do I know?
It's simply in my bloodline.

I often wonder the unintended consequences of a good deed.

And I will end the year the same way I started it.
Alone.

I trusted you with all of my heart,
but you decided to tear me apart.

To the girl with a crooked smile
I haven't seen you for a while
But last time I did
You were sporting a split lip
And a black eye
Are you alright?
It always looks like you've just lost a fight.
I gave you my address
In case you needed to escape
To a safe place
But you never came
Did you find a better place
To play hide and seek?
And as the news come on
It's looking rather bleak.
Tragedy struck our little town tonight
Because dad got drunk
And you didn't want to fight.

I will romanticize the things that I am
in poems.
Maybe then I can trick you into falling in love with me.

And then I realized- painkillers don't do **** for heartache.

i am so self absorbed
i am basically a sponge
and you are a sink full of water
i will take all of you without even realizing it,
without even trying to because
that is just what i do

I have known her my entire life, yet I will never understand her reluctance to live.

I noticed a slight change in our relationship.
In the old days,
I would apologize for bothering you
and you would say I wasn't.

But now,
If I apologize for bothering you,
you say it's fine.

I guess I am a bother now.
I'm gonna stop bothering you.

sometimes when we fight I just want to hear you say
i love you, please don't walk away