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Oct 2016 · 163
Note to self
Bird Oct 2016
If he did care about you,
then you wouldn't be wondering if he did.
Sep 2016 · 447
You destroyed us
Bird Sep 2016
You can try, but you'll never replace the meaning behind the places you try to rename.

Face the consequences of what you've done.
You destroyed me
Sep 2016 · 161
well?
Bird Sep 2016
Do you think he ever misses me?
Even if it's just a little bit?
Sep 2016 · 482
Ophelia
Bird Sep 2016
I didn't
have to say
"help me"
because you already
knew what to do.
Sep 2016 · 837
Dear September
Bird Sep 2016
She is green tea with honey,
summer days and blonde hair.
She is a golden retriever
and a husky,
happy, intelligent, yet reserved.
She is the beach and a sunrise,
campfires and s’mores in the warm air
breathing in the dust and smoke,
laughing about two years ago.
She is incense and paintings,
blue walls and ceilings,
she is a ***** joke said
offhand with raised eyebrows,
she is stacks of books and video games,
she is bubblegum ice cream and
walking through a cemetery.
She is old technology and practicality,
she is punctuality  and arriving
early with a peach smoothie in hand.
She is the cold shock of river water.
She is alternative music blaring from
a ****** car radio and a road trip
where everyone but the driver falls asleep.
She is rock candy and ice cream bars, riding the biggest
roller coaster ten times over again.
She is a content silence and
a sly smile.
She is mine and you cannot have her.
Sep 2016 · 208
lost
Bird Sep 2016
It's the hope that gets you
Bird Sep 2016
Every sentence is punctuated with a little sigh
because I know I lose more of your attention every second
and you don't even bother to listen now,
you fight back ,
you help me drown.
Sep 2016 · 436
yo amo siempre
Bird Sep 2016
Lo siento.
Tú no mereces estas palabras,
pero yo voy dar a los tú
a todas formas.
Porque, yo voy amo
y te extraño,
siempre.
Sorry if its conjugated wrong- Spanish is not my first language and I have issues with it. But I'm trying so thats the important part.
Sep 2016 · 280
I will be okay
Bird Sep 2016
Sometimes when I feel very alone,
I want to call you and apologize in every language I know.

And then I remember that you do not miss me, you do not care about me, and you do not deserve an apology from me because I have done nothing wrong.

And then I feel a little bit more alone. And a little bit more okay with it.
Bird Sep 2016
There is no more you to save me.
So I guess I will have to save myself
Sep 2016 · 344
Antisocial (it's a riot!)
Bird Sep 2016
I care
SO MUCH.
At least,
I can pretend
To fit in with the emotions
Of the latest social trend.
I am cold.
I am controlled.
I know that empathy
Can further me.
If only I can pretend that I am not just pretending.
Bird Sep 2016
You pushed me out
And I probably should have stayed
But it's September again
And these are my vulnerable days
Where I'm left to wonder
Why I can't ever be enough
Aug 2016 · 375
Just Peachy
Bird Aug 2016
I am Impatient
and Incessant
and I'm sure I will be
absolutely overdressed
to my own death.
My God
have you ever seen a girl
look so brokenhearted
over a dumb game of chess?
A debate lost in hate
and traveling affairs
luring in to the lustful
witches lairs.
I'm rhyming and dining
the newest generation
of plastic,
photo copy,
photo-shoot-ready,
instagram celebrities.
I'm no genius,
I'm just obsessed.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Because I certainly don't.
Bird Aug 2016
You can't hurt me
If I can't hear you
Bird Aug 2016
He's either dead or in love, but those are basically the same thing, so don't worry about keeping up.
Bird Aug 2016
You aren't weird
You're trying too hard to be
Anything but what you are
Which is perfectly normal
Aug 2016 · 599
the price of freedom
Bird Aug 2016
I gave everyone a part of me
until I was a ghost.
Jul 2016 · 749
Thoughts in a jewelry store
Bird Jul 2016
I watched her get her ears pierced and it hurt me more than it hurt her because it made me think of the time I got mine pierced and you were there but now you're gone and I miss you but you don't miss me.
Jul 2016 · 631
sorry.
Bird Jul 2016
I'm sorry.

For what?

Everything.

I don't understand.

I know.

Will you explain?

No.

Why not?

I can't.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I apologize too much,
I'm sorry I can't explain why,
I'm sorry I never have the right words to say,
and I'm sorry I'm always late to reply.
Bird Jul 2016
you forgot about things we used to care about together
before everything we had got a little bit harder to have
Bird Jul 2016
You said you liked the way my shoulders looked when I stretched the other day, and you asked what do they look like without a shirt in the way?

I said I liked the way you held your coffee mug in the morning, and I asked if you would hold me that tight even if I was snoring?

You said my body might look like the rocky landscape of the mountains if we laid together at night, and asked if you could check? because, you know, it just might.

I said your lips just might steal away my breath if, you and I were to kiss, and I asked if we could try? because, that's something I wouldn't want to miss.
Jul 2016 · 339
as if you were a criminal
Bird Jul 2016
The criminal always revisits the scene of the crime, as if you were the criminal, and lying to me was the crime. Does that make me the victim? Well then who was the witness? Was she your accomplice? We have left this alone for a year, you moved on, I wasn't expecting to find you back here, where I am stuck on this metaphorical street, waiting, just waiting, for the criminal to return to the scene of the crime, all the while I was waving to passerby's and saying "I'm fine!" Was I lying? Would that be a crime? I'm fine, ******* it, I was doing just fine! Until the criminal decided to return to the scene of the crime, what's even the difference between a wrong and right lie? And what if I were to just say goodbye, to you and her and him, would that be okay? It not like we have much to say, part of the same crime, but on different sides, and what if I can't leave this metaphorical spot on the street? You could promise me to never come back, but we both know that would be a lie- because the criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.
Jul 2016 · 219
I believe you would
Bird Jul 2016
"Hey, you know everything, right?"
It's the same stupid question
I ask every night
You give me a smirk
and I think you just might
"I don't know everything yet,"
You say to me
"But I will find out anything for you"
Jul 2016 · 431
Forty-three
Bird Jul 2016
I am watching you
In my peripheral vision
And counting all the times you look at me (when you think I don't see)
By the end of the night it's at 43
That sounds pretty lucky to me
Jul 2016 · 277
Let's play
Bird Jul 2016
We're playing a game
You look up
I look down
I look up
You look down
I catch your eye
You throw a wine bottle up
It flips and you catch it
It was open and not a drop has spilled
You smile at me
I laugh a bit
I look down
My sister budges me
"Not now" I mouth
I think this will stay with me
Bird Jul 2016
I forget how to speak when I'm around you
And even in my dreams I'm left speechless too
Jul 2016 · 657
The way your name tastes
Bird Jul 2016
I like the way your name sounds on my tongue
It's unaccented, a little rough, a little rich
It's easy,
but it causes
Little pauses
In the conversation
And I like to think that maybe you're a little tiny bit excited
Because you like the way your name sounds on my tongue
Bird Jul 2016
Did you notice?
Did you care?
.
.
.
Are you lying?
Jul 2016 · 483
Mirror mirror
Bird Jul 2016
Do my lips look natural?
Because they're not.
Does my hair look natural?
Because it's not.
I'm a synthetic girl
I'm fake
And you could say I
#wokeuplikethis
Because I'm not awake
Until I've painted my face
And gone through the daily routine
Of using blonde hair to hide green
As if I could play off 3 colors
As a natural thing
My hair is messy (but cute)
In a natural way
And my cheeks are contoured
Because some girl had the audacity to say
They look better higher up
And I can't (just can't) go back to my old way
I paint my lips slightly thicker
Because that's just the trend
But if you could just lend
Me a hand in understanding
What natural even means?
Because I think it lost its meaning.
Definitely not trying to shame people who wear makeup here- I like makeup too. I just don't like makeup advertising that it will give that "natural look" because it's not.
Jul 2016 · 420
Like a bad tattoo
Bird Jul 2016
I feel a tad bit emptier inside
I want to text you but I know it wouldn't be right
I never thought this would be a permanent thing
But I just deleted and blocked your number
Why did I do that?
It doesn't matter if I've blocked you or not, I've got your number memorized
Bird Jul 2016
I used to long for your affection
But now I'm asking myself the question
How did you ever catch my attention?
Did I want to be hurt?
Because, *******, you're a ****
And it's driving me berserk
To see
Exactly
Who I thought you wouldn't be
But the rose colored glasses are off
And I just have to scoff
Because I never realized who you were
And I really hate who you are.
Jul 2016 · 503
Roses
Bird Jul 2016
I'm not a nice girl
I'm a knife girl
I'm a little hard to love
Because the closer you get
The sharper my edges grow
And if you try to tie me down
Then you've just got to go
I'll cut you off
(With much remorse)
And let the roses bud
In your place
I'm covered in thorns
But if you aren't scared
Then by all means
Welcome
Jul 2016 · 296
Sunset in sepia
Bird Jul 2016
I'm invisible.
And I couldn't be happier.
Bird Jul 2016
I wonder if you will look back and regret this.
I wonder if we will know each other in five, ten, twenty years.
I wonder if we even really knew each other last week.
I wonder what you have planned for your future.
I wonder if you have even considered forgiving me.
I wonder if i want you to.

I wonder what your answer would be, if someone were to ask why we fell apart.
I wonder what mine would be if someone were to ask me the same thing.
"We were too different," I might say.
I wonder if I can blame you for what you did, instead of blaming her.

For now, I am content.
For now, I am not torn up inside.
For now, I have what I want.
I will see you later.
But at the same time, I will not.
Because we are never going to be exactly the same people ever again.
That's just the way time works.
Right?

So I will see a version of you again, in the future, wether you want to see me again or not.
And maybe we will catch ghosts of who we are now.
Only time will tell.
Jun 2016 · 331
quiet suspicions
Bird Jun 2016
Sometimes they get so caught up in hating each other they forget I even exist.
Bird Jun 2016
I was never really close to the place
You used to tear your heart open
You claim
You think if you put on thick skin
We'll turn a blind eye
We'll be so hurt
That we will leave you alone
As we sulk and lick our wounds
And we will cry to our pillows
About how stupid we were to hurt you
As you laugh and you live
Your new life
(Without strife)
You left that all behind when you left us out dry
But we aren't crying
Or dying
Or beginning good byes
But we're sighing
And trying
To start again
Jun 2016 · 961
It's in my blood
Bird Jun 2016
The more I find out about family
History
I realize
That being a traitor
Is simply in my bloodline
I'm a cheap rosé
Pretending to be fine wine
From French nobility
To Spanish pride
My ancestors wrought havoc
On their own modern times
It's time for me to step up to the plate
And make my choice
To grow into the role I was assigned
Or write my own lines
But whatever I chose
The choice is mine
And I know whoever I am
I'll be great
remembered
divine,
How do I know?
It's simply in my bloodline.
Jun 2016 · 228
What did you do?
Bird Jun 2016
I often wonder the unintended consequences of a good deed.
Bird Jun 2016
And I will end the year the same way I started it.
Alone.
I trusted you. I'm not your ******* punching bag.
Bird Jun 2016
I trusted you with all of my heart,
but you decided to tear me apart.
Jun 2016 · 233
Dear girl
Bird Jun 2016
To the girl with a crooked smile
I haven't seen you for a while
But last time I did
You were sporting a split lip
And a black eye
Are you alright?
It always looks like you've just lost a fight.
I gave you my address
In case you needed to escape
To a safe place
But you never came
Did you find a better place
To play hide and seek?
And as the news come on
It's looking rather bleak.
Tragedy struck our little town tonight
Because dad got drunk
And you didn't want to fight.
Jun 2016 · 881
I'm really not your type
Bird Jun 2016
I will romanticize the things that I am
in poems.
Maybe then I can trick you into falling in love with me.
Jun 2016 · 242
Well shit, I have a problem
Bird Jun 2016
And then I realized- painkillers don't do **** for heartache.
Bird Jun 2016
i am so self absorbed
i am basically a sponge
and you are a sink full of water
i will take all of you without even realizing it,
without even trying to because
that is just what i do
Bird Jun 2016
I have known her my entire life, yet I will never understand her reluctance to live.
May 2016 · 681
you changed, so what?
Bird May 2016
I noticed a slight change in our relationship.
In the old days,
I would apologize for bothering you
and you would say I wasn't.

But now,
If I apologize for bothering you,
you say it's fine.

I guess I am a bother now.
I'm gonna stop bothering you.
This was gonna be really long and deep but then the music I was listening to switched from Keaton Henson to Sistar. And I felt like I had already spent to much time writing for someone would would never read or appreciate my work. So yeah. ******* and all that. No need to make it all unnecessarily complicated.
Bird May 2016
sometimes when we fight I just want to hear you say
i love you, please don't walk away
Bird May 2016
They told me that my memories of you
Would soften with time
I thought that maybe the storm might
Calm down to a drizzle
Maybe the wildfire might
Die down to a single flame
Maybe the dagger
Would go dull
But my expectations of these memories
Were not the best
Because this storm is now a hurricane
And this wildfire has gone and burned down all of the mountains and the valleys
And this dagger
Is a razor blade at my throat,
I'm gonna choke
On this memory
Of you and me
I'm just a shell of who I used to be
Is time our greatest enemy?
Or was I yours,
And yours me?

Either way it's killing me.
May 2016 · 498
Staircases and Oxygen
Bird May 2016
Shaky, stuttered breaths
Like there's no oxygen left
That's what you do to me
I'm sitting in the hallway on the stairs
It's like I was never even there
The light is dim
But I don't care
I wish you were here
To clear
My blurry, sloppy tears
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