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Bird May 6
i’d pick up but you never call
Bird Mar 27
starving myself
into submission
the casual result
of unchecked ambition
the focusing factors
the aderall
and ritalin
try to drown me but
i hang tight
on the sight
of an unbroken vision
my actions, my words
under constant revision
revisit the sites
where i break
down decisions
had options
i lost them in
thoughtless
metacognition
and
i know i’m long gone
cause i’m stuck in remission
Bird Mar 25
i went to sleep late
woke up hazy and grey
i rolled out of bed
to face a new, **** day
i said it was over
i wish that thought stayed
but you're still a ******* liar
so nothing has changed
Bird Mar 15
just “ok”
because that’s so you
making plans
with no follow through
Bird Feb 5
face wasted
broken phone clutched in hand
as i climb into my best friends prius
thinking back to this morning
when my size seven jeans
slid off my empty hips
back onto the bedroom floor
same place
where the rest of my clothes lie
stripped off after last night
i melt like butter in your hands
but that’s okay
i’d rather fall to you than
anyone else, anyway
Bird Nov 2018
gold drunk
catching your eye across the bar
someone asked me to play piano that night
i took a breath and said sure i’ll fill in
you came up to me afterwards
“i didn’t know you could play, i didn’t know you could sing”
i told you i do my best and you offered me
a glass
you pushed it in my hand
didn’t really ask
(but you never really ever asked)
part of me thought i was just so cool
you were a bright purple neon light
against my wine red and navy blue
but i promise-
i knew exactly when i’d be done with you
Bird Oct 2018
all my friends are scared of intimacy
but i still **** like a rabbit
i hate myself
but i still love all my bad habits  
thought i could write
guess i was wrong
the world is a stage
and i’m playing along
but i don’t know this show
-don’t know the words,
don’t know where to go
i’m missing the blocking
it’s overwhelming
it’s shocking
but does anyone know all of the prose?
do i need to know where everyone goes?
maybe it’s time to pull a kerouac
spend some time on the road
get out of my head
lighten my load
but i know enough to know
that i’ll never go
too scared of what’s next
of death, the unknown
so i’ll just keep playing
one confused lonely ****
throw my heart on the stage
while the audience yawns
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