Each and every page that goes by
Out of the corner of my youthful eye
I can see each and every passing thought
I expected fate should have bought.

With tears tumbling down each cheek
Them bright happy faces are so sought to seek
Did those eyes seven months ago know of today?
Did they know his mind would ever be okay?

And with trembling fingers, I can scarcely believe
That memory misplaced in my web of weaves
I used to be able to say that I had HER heart
Now I lay on the floor waiting for the inevitable depart.
For every smile I see knows not of what we now do
And we've changed from the years that changed even you
So should I still be in love with the girl that flipped me upside down?
And risk all those months again wearing that same darkened frown?

Because each and every photo from yesterday
Lacks what is present here right now
And if I ever could relive any of my years
I would still experience the same fears.

When I pick you up (my bassy bassy bass)
I feel my thoughts pour into your neck
And by the time I've finished laying you in my lap
You and I have become so synonymous.

If I'm feeling a little glad, the notes come with ease
As my thumb lets loose and does whatever to please
If I'm feeling a little sad, the notes quiet down
And try to uplift my darkened deep frown

I never once stopped feeling dry as a bone
And I never once stopped to respond on my phone
Cause you give me what I want so good and well
A world without you would undeniably be hell

A guitar is quite nice with its bright merry ring
And it sure is easier to hum along and sing
But the low fat sound of the bass is a thrill
And I never quite have enough of a satisfying fill.

Shades of pink dance freely
On the hospital wall
Birth of a girl; and throughout the room
Do the doctors wonder their gaze
To the sight of a newborn on the Earth.

Shades of blue lament
On the alleyway side
Birth of a boy; no father present
To share in witness to the miracle of birth
And the anguish of the mother.

Both do grow in two different worlds
Like the distance of the sun and the moon
Does privilege lie in the hands of day
And do poverty in the hands of night.

Girl does laugh, girl does sing
Girl is strong with what life does bring
Her father a sword, her mother a shield
Her tools in life she does expertly wield
Girl is not alone; her friends play along
In the grand musical of life’s golden song
But life had a different tune to play
On the fated moment that night met day.

Where did the wind blow that noon
That girl saw boy clutch a rusty spoon
With rags to his waist and a face of despair
And that powerful feeling of his dark empty stare

Girl helped boy to his feet
Said, “Come inside and retreat
And bring your mother along too
Because I really want to help you.”

Girl fed boy; cleaned him as well
Girl brought him up from his alleyway hell
Girl’s family gave coin; boy cried out his thanks
To girl’s efforts to raise his meager social ranks

Boy said, “It may not be now
But I solemnly vow
That I’ll come to your aid
When your hopes someday fade.”

Boy grows up and becomes a man
Man saves up money from the work he began
Man buys home and starts fresh anew
Surely woman is faring just as well, too

But woman is beat by the warden she wed
He punched her and kicked her on the floor where she bled
And out in the air did woman escape
As free as a bird from the torture and ****

The street stretches as far as forever
Woman says, “Return I shall never.”
Woman falls and so does day
In the same dark corner where boy once lay

On the rug of alcohol stain
Does the husband bleed his pain
And the ****** needle on the desk
Keeps the husband ever statuesque

He jabs it through a poisoned arm
And the drug worked its usual charm
Down fall husband and the angry blood moon
Last words whispered, “Wish you’d come home soon.”

On the eclipse of the eve
When the sun and moon once met
Where comets illuminated the sky
And the light did never die.

Tears did girl shed when
Her eyes saw boy
Yet did the sun glow once more
When the moon did, too.

So man saw woman so ever down and out
Said, “I’d be there for you without a shadow of a doubt”
And moon helped sun to rise upon the land
When man decided to lend woman a helping hand.

Come, at last to the mountain pass
And dream the stuff of purity
Open your ears to the thoughts without fears
And all will come true to you.

As twilight disappears off the canvas sky
Love forever hangs where you lie
And the air is warm like your body it hold
So long as the truth is worth like gold.

Your hands dissolve into faces and smiles
Do not be alarmed, be eased into the clouds
And sound and rain are here to be blessed
Just like you on the summit of our song.

So open every eye on your glowing body
As the music shines brighter and brighter
In this glorious day of peace mantra dance
You finally become one with nature.

I'm so sorry for everything
Could you ever forgive me?
Oh no, I know you too well
You're softer than the blues of my room

Too callous to feel your pain
Too empty to hear your cries
But I still, I still ask you to forgive
As if I'm still a baby; head wrapped in a blanket

I've forgotten my name
Hang my baby head in shame
Cause I ain't too easy to see
And here I stand still saying sorry.

Out in the depths of the deep
Where planets dream and sleep
A few trillion comets come and go
As if the universe is putting on a show

Watch some reckless starbeams
Fly wildly throughout the cosmic air
And some may hit a planet or two
But at least it looked beautiful to me and you.

Take a hit or ten of the pipe that will
Surely rearrange your mind, until
You come back down to Earth, but while you are up
See what drips from your mouth into your cup

The road turns upside down with a grin
And without any dignity, denouncing your chagrin
See yourself shouting at the weather up at the sky
Raining, snowing, or sunning, you’ll pass it by

Float past the purple beanstalks that
Grow right by where you just had sat
Listen for nature joking inside your ears
Making you think of all those wasted years

A glorious wind blows you like a page
Out of those bars that held you in society’s cage
Do not be alarmed in the world you have come to
It is a divine paradise in the clouds of pleasant blue

Flowers come forth in the morning spirit sun
In this warm grassy meadow, you skip hop and run
And around you are those happy smiling faces
Belonging to those friends that have brought you to these places

There’s an expression for what these feelings are
Even after you’ve fallen down from your star
It means that you’re away and dazed in the head
And the feeling is called being blissfully dead.

A cosmic vision in space
Is all that is required for a mental trance
And as planets smile with a face
The rest of the universe spins in a dance
Slowly letting a vision be kaleidoscoped
As the stars in my eyes are suddenly sloped

A great pool of mystery beckons me
To a wondrous plane of being
And if only you could find the key
To join along with what I'm constantly seeing
For reality seems to pull and push apart
In my black hole eyes and my beating heart.

Bow to the flags that wave in the wind
Swear your souls to the country that never dies
Morality is a curse; that present we've sinned
Destruction of the flower that ever so tries

Stand up before the trumpets that beckon your name
May we look before the land that shows a desolate fate
The ultimate replacement of joy is fame
So forget your body at the field; it's already too late

Let this be our anthem against the enemies of good
And do not feel sorry for a little bloodshed
You'd rather be living than with the dead
Replicating peace is something nobody ever could.

The skin I thought I once knew
As only looking just straight at you
And then all those other voices I kept down so long
Finally made it out so big and strong.

The reason why I may have blushed
And now I can feel my hetero hopes crushed
Cause that little boy kicking defiantly inside
And he's for SURE got different plans in mind.

No, no, it's a one time thing
This doesn't mean I want a separate fling
But I can't help but think
Of all those times I wanted to wink

And now I feel myself splitting in two
One's for that, the other for you
But I'll keep that side on the down-low
Because I've still got a lot of thinking to do, you know.

A mister came by to song a good sing
He didn’t have nickels for dimes
And tunes shed freely to come in and ring
For all the fun woody old times.

He fiddled a fiddle to pluck a red truck
And song out his words by a stile
Some boys run about in their own little luck
And saw mister forge a small smile.

Canary a fairy of small little ladies
Crowd about a shop selling oak hay
In their own Ethel minds of small little babies
On wooden red cradles they lay.

“But come one and all to the man playing south”
Said a poster girl out with a cry
“Say he’d come on and in with a gun to the mouth
And we’re all having orange pumpkin pie.”

I come to the pass with a glass in my hand
Saw the mister grin granny o’swong
And felt the glass fall to the crummy white sand
Heard the shards crawl a fangled new song.

“You caused me a pain to my heart with my name”
I tell mister out with a voice
But he played on regardless of no having claim
Of the music playing out of his choice.

Mister my sister you cause quite a blister
But I’m not giving up quite so soon
Cause I’m staying right here with my girl and I kissed her
On the forests sprouting up after noon.

One half of the solar system has gone missing
And now there are four planets instead of eight
Your celestial body has disappeared
Where in this dark universe have you gone?

Torn, like a body splitting on an iron bed
With blood spurting in all directions; bones snapping
In vicious manners, and I am forced
To undergo a cold turkey of love
Feeling withdrawal all throughout my system
One magnet cannot survive without the other
You are positive, but I am negative
And I will stay negative, very negative, completely negative, without you.

And what can the other world offer
That can compromise what your eyes already see?
Will love be sure to carry on and survive
If you simply choose to look right past me?

I get it. I understand the feel of the wires
On the human skin. I can genuinely feel
How it is to be embraced by the machine
That devours anything that is real.
The silver dream takes me on a journey
Unlike any other. The party doesn’t stop
As naked bodies dance and sway from the comfort
Of my room; just until my eyes start to drop.

And friends go by and wonder why
I go to sleep at three o’clock in the morning
But who needs rest when the dream is there
And rusted judgment is the first warning.

The feeling you get
When you're not sure what else is left to feel.

Goodbye, a dastardly devious fiend
Always on the brink of disaster you leaned
And always stopped by the hero in blue
It's just a **** shame what has happened to you.

You made our hearts grow, you made them sink
You taught us that even villains have to think
And that they too want happiness and joy
And you gave us those things to every girl and boy.

Your spirit was undying, your face so inspiring
Yet your cancer forced you into sadly retiring
And Sporticus grieved with the rest of the gang
And Lazytown no longer played and sang.

But we have to move on without our purple friend
Cause his heart was filled with glee in the end
And now he plays in the bright morning sun
Just know that you were always villain number one.

I don't know if I got what it takes
To be as talented as her.
I don't know if I got what it makes
To sing as soundly as him.

I don't know if my fingers know
Where the strings on the guitar are
I don't know if I'll be as famous as him
When I'm in my bedroom doing nothing.

I don't know if people will care for this poem
When it isn't even as good as yours
I don't know how long it will trend
If it even will, anyway.

I don't know if I'm playing with fate
Or if love is the way to go
I don't know if the dream is correct
Or if it's just one big mistake.

I was single again.

Flip a ladder upside-down and tell me where you climb to
You come to the same destination, but don’t dare argue
That it could’ve been different, it could’ve been right
And your feelings are telling you to look away from the light

That is her face, and it is blindingly apparent
To which I realize that all is viewed is transparent
Should I run? Should I flee?
Saints preserve us! The choking glory
And now my heart shrinks so itty bitty tiny
Sweat glistens on my face, ever so shiny
As I realize that I am turning reverse red
Is my heart dead? No, I think not
But my love surely has run out, and there was quite a lot
Don’t give me that look, I tell you again
It was not you, ’twas me, my beautiful friend
And I look at you closer, I gaze at you once more
Oh hell! Oh curses! I run out the door
Listening to my mind rattling, and I know nothing again
So I take to my thoughts; music pours from my den
Of solitude, of singleness, of loneliness, of fear
A room without you in it, a room without a soul
A room made out of ice, a room without a friend
A room colored blue, a room seen as black
My heart rekindles itself, the fire is back
No love has gone away, and I hope to see you soon another day.

I stare to my hands that do my ***** work
They type out the words from my mind where they lurk
They write my ****** homework that I’m forced to do
So much that I’ll never be able to see any one of you.

Them hands that write out my thoughts or wishes
And clutch a fork or knife as I eat years of dishes
And they’ll maybe be the same that come with me to my dreams
Of being a free rock star where reality hangs at the seams

Oh, but even as these letters form
I sit here quietly in my cozy blue dorm
That I knew all my life and that I’ll inevitably depart
While I clutch a cold hand to a still beating heart

I hope to use my hands for good
And someday for love if I ever could
So let my hands reach out to your own
And finally they won’t have to stay all alone.

The brother I knew
From years ago, many a few
We shared each other's brains
And explored our fears and troubled pains

But along came another friend
That took us for a ride, and we called him a godsend
He never hesitated to show us good fun
And my brother and I sang under the black hole sun

But I never saw the friend
Slip my brother a shady end
And from then on
My brother was gone.

His face grew desolate
Like the sands of a desert
And his body was slouched
Like a lizard sleeked on a rock
And the friend had long burned away
So my brother was left billowing in the wind
His brain had effectively been compromised by fate
Or some sort of being that dared to appear in the deadly hate
And I tried to reason him back to reality and back to the life we knew

But the friend had taken him away.

In the end, no girl will make me feel
How it is to sit back and talk so real
With your friend to your left and a friend to the right
Cause, ****, our companionship is tight.

Nothing better than going to a McDonald's
Not even for the food, just for
Quality laughs, quality smiles
A quality escape from life's many trials
Musical footsteps play from our feet
As our instruments hum and sync with the beat
And while walking home, I think with a grin,
"I'm glad I spent today with my fellow kin."

(A tattered man stands before his easel
Like it was his lover returning from a five-day trip
He stares at it longingly; time stands still
As the blank canvas seems to stare right back.)

He picks up a brush; a chosen color in hand
The white disappears by the blue that it does swallow
A wet and deep environment comes before the land
For the green brownish tones have yet it to follow.

The brush makes a movement like a dancer on ice
It moves here to there ever so specific and slow
The painter is careful, for the piece cannot be done twice
So his patience and precision are evident to show.

Day after day, night after night
The agonizing process drags on like a stone
Hard, unforgiving; like a crop with blight
But look at what artistic wonders are now shown.

A cloud, a mountain, a rabbit, a tree
They sprout up in liquid form at first
But they solidify on the canvas for all to go see
As the painter continues letting ideas out to burst.

She was a head-turner, that one.

She wore tight-fitting clothes that
Complimented her like a love letter
And her walk could make
Any sensible dude talk

I'll never forget when we first talked
And how although I only liked her physically
She presented herself as innocently decent
Even after showing me a picture in her underwear.
And I felt badly
Because even as I write this poem
She might someday find this and know it was for her
But if she does
Her knee-high black boots can walk proudly across these words.

On the days of rain that come before
The nights of pain that come through the door
I walk through streets of an ocean Earth
See the clouds up above with the water they birth
And all through the day does the water come down
Flooding my head and my mind-village town
Feeling down and out
With so much water to spout
For the world is wet and the sky isn’t blue
But the one thing the rain can’t wash out is you.

Down at the prairie side
Does the old farmer ride
At the comfort of his home
On his chestnut horse he roam
At the stable near the shed
Colored oaken brownish red
Is the little horse that sleeps
In bushels of hay of heaps
Do not fret, little horse
For soon you’ll race with force
But at the time being
I hope you don’t mind seeing
Out the view of where you lie
The bigger horses run by.

Like grains of sand on a beach
I lay down to rest
But I still blow away in the end.

I can't sit or stand now, and
My legs liquify
To the point where I am just water.

Come by round the town and see
What may you find
In the nuclear town that I made.

Here I dissolve looking out
My cracked window
I awaken without any rest.

Do not ever doubt
The growing power of the people.

Here in the hustle and bustle of the world
I cannot locate my poetic muse
He has run off elsewhere like the child I am, too
But I MUST find him, now!

Quickly, he couldn't have gone far
In his paranoia and anger
Mister, have you seen him? Ma'am, have you?
Surely you could give me just a little clue?

And the orchestra of my mind roars so loud
And the music covers my brain like a cloud
So many nooks and crannies to crawl in
But this searching battle is something I MUST win!
Cause if I lose my muse
Who am I?
Who is Ellison, then?
If his mental bells ring so loud like Big Ben!

I'm blinded, deafened
By the hustle and bustle of the world
And you, the reader, will be the first to know
If I found my muse stranded in blackened snow.

As long as I live
This message I give
To the people from birth
On this war-stricken Earth
Someday it will all cease
When finally there is peace.

It isn’t much to ask
Drink it deeply from a flask
Let it be all that you know
Keep it with you when you grow
It’ll come as a surprising caprice
That golden blooming era of peace.

You won’t get it from the boss
War; what a tragic loss
In the hearts that hate, but it is never too late.
To those that are willing to change
This world of which we’ll be sure to rearrange
You won’t get it from the coppers and brutal police
I speak of nothing else but that golden word, “peace”.

Because like a light shining out
And suddenly broken apart

Hands were held, feelings molded
Love was harmonized in the air

But then the feelings became null
And you said you wanted it to end.........


Now I'm just here
But now I'm just null too.

What gets you to look at yourself in the ******* mirror?
Perhaps the face looking back is the one I've seen too
But yet, it is different, because I know more than what you do
How his own face was drained everyday
And I had to see him in such terrible dismay

What ails you and plagues you to be such a fiend?
I see you like a beast with your claws and talons cleaned
Perhaps it is I who is in the wrong
But you can dance and sing your ****** song
Cause what you do and what you bring
Is no bell ain't never worth to ring

What drives your motives in your smart little head?
To think he'd rather be wanting to be DEAD.
He said he wanted to kick your fat behind
And I really wanted to do it too
Perhaps I'm angry and vicious like all the rest of you
But you ******* out there seen nothing so far
And I'll push you swimming through some heated tar
Just so you can feel what he felt
By being hung from the leather of a precious little belt.

It is magic; pure pleasant purple-dotted
Oddities in the reflecting pool of our imaginations
Yet is it so absurd to believe in a second in time
Where words mean something and love and rhyme?

I ponder in a candy land upon a sleepy pink hill
And floating one-eyed people tumble around and spill
Out the words that make them real and who they are
But you and I should rise beyond and float amongst the stars.
For the pages of hearts and wet mouths cry
And the cotton-clothed blanket lets us warm and dry
So can’t we simply stay in our warmth so long at peace?
I never want the enchanted feeling of your being to ever cease.

The feelings of true lust
Creep mercilessly across my mind

I can feel its seductive stroke
On my shoulder that turns to ice

And my eyes are fickle to the imagination
That plays out steamy scenarios that end the same way

Yes, I’m in true lust for the seventh time this week
But is it special in any sort of way?


No.

As the sun rises in the open air
There’s no more feeling of dread or despair
And the loving smile on a young warm face
Shines brighter than the white stars in space

On days of pink magic and cotton candy skies
Is where a happy child plays, skips and lies
And he frolics with his mother and with his tall dad
They love him, he knows, he mustn’t be any sad

A stuffed brown bear picks him up to see
All the sugar-tipped mountains and bushy dark trees
And adventures in fantasy continue to swirl
As the petals of flowers fly around and twirl

Reality for the grown-ups may not be so good
But the joy of the youngster will break the darkness (as it should)
So the cotton candy world carries on strong
As life continues to make a promising, beautiful song.

It hit me like a brick to the face
How couldn't it?


Like whispering winds suddenly stirred
And my vision became thickened and blurred
Letting my hearing become one with the water
For the drops drip forever, forever becoming hotter
The twangs from the neck echoed throughout the ground
Letting itself be heard and recognized through each precise sound
And the sheer ecstasy created from the random places
Made on the several accounts of each sweaty faces
Let me surrender to the liquid floor
As I fall onto the wide open door
With the cascading abilities of one and within
This epic guitar solo stays right where it's been.

I've torn your wires to pieces
And fixed them with my own adhesives
I've squished you like a piece of clay
And molded you into something psychedelic.
How many times have we spoken lately?

The electrons and neurons make a pleasant tingling all the time.

Electricity flows within my cortex
And powers me like a subatomic soda
Any rocket bomb flies through an open window
And collides on each careful nerve ending.

I've graffitied you from top to bottom
With memories from summer and autumn
And I left the spray cans to dry off next to you
Just so that I can come back anytime to what I drew.

But then again
My fingers make a plasmatic arrangement, too
As they trace cytoplasm around on a piece of paper
While words and music notes cloak me like vapor
The chemicals on each letter stamp
Set you on fire when administered on the tongue
And while the lights shine bright from each lamp
You're aware that neither of us are so innocently young.

Brain...brain...brain...brain...
Drive me by on a track only taken by train.

You want to know how to grow up?
Want to know how to beat the others to the chase?
Want to be on top and kick the others out?
Here, I'll tell you all I ought to know.

Mistrust your brothers and your dear old mother
Forget about your love interest and never onto another
For who has time to love someone in a world that's against you?
At least, you think that's how it has to be.

When you finally isolate everyone that tried to support you
You have to hold out to last all the way to the final frontier
And when you flick away the weak competition
Pull the trigger on 'ole Pipsqueak and Tiny Tim.

And if you falter in your dominant stance
You might be on the glass as you dance........

Cause if you want to be a man
Who has time for compassion and empathy?
And before you have time to argue if it's wrong or right
You'll be smothered by corporate chains with all its might.

What I've Learned:

Go be what you want to be.
Octopuses live in gardens.
***** aren’t meant to be that big, anyway.

I love who I am.
**** after school.

***-wiping is important.

Consistency is for the norm.
Octagons will serve me no purpose in life.
****** isn’t a good word to say in public.
**** isn’t, either.
Except for *****.
Parents aren’t there to hear it, of course.
Things happen for a reason.

Batteries lose their power after a while.
Your wallet will not always be full.

Wearing clothes is good.
Hiking naked is good, too.
Indoors, of course.
Curtains closed, as well.
House is also empty.

Weird people get things done.
Excellently, I might add.

Music is the ultimate healer.
Eating is good, too.
After going to sleep, dream good dreams.
Silence is a gift, but so is sound.
Uranium never benefitted me.
Radioactivity is a force to be reckoned with.
Elements are of the past.

Oil is running out.
Uniqueness is a treasure.
Rock n’ roll will never die.

*** isn’t an alternative to joy.
Acoustic guitars sound nice.
Intelligence only goes so far.
Nukes are a symbol of everything I want to rid myself of.

Cracked paint in schools
Squeaky linoleum floor
Children weren’t fools
Life was never a bore

Fifth grade “prom”
Mosquito poison crunch
Summer evening calm
Friends all in a bunch

Awkward middle ground
Dentist grins and braces
Unfamiliar ****** sounds
And new friendly faces.

Holding hands at last
Heads against our own
Re-writing the shaky past
Love runs through the bone

New tastes to feel
Eyes meet as one
Mind becomes like steel
Underneath the setting sun.

Tears run like the wind
Hearts tremble in slight
The sun stays pinned
Except only at night.