What I've Learned:

Go be what you want to be.
Octopuses live in gardens.
***** aren’t meant to be that big, anyway.

I love who I am.
**** after school.

***-wiping is important.

Consistency is for the norm.
Octagons will serve me no purpose in life.
****** isn’t a good word to say in public.
**** isn’t, either.
Except for *****.
Parents aren’t there to hear it, of course.
Things happen for a reason.

Batteries lose their power after a while.
Your wallet will not always be full.

Wearing clothes is good.
Hiking naked is good, too.
Indoors, of course.
Curtains closed, as well.
House is also empty.

Weird people get things done.
Excellently, I might add.

Music is the ultimate healer.
Eating is good, too.
After going to sleep, dream good dreams.
Silence is a gift, but so is sound.
Uranium never benefitted me.
Radioactivity is a force to be reckoned with.
Elements are of the past.

Oil is running out.
Uniqueness is a treasure.
Rock n’ roll will never die.

*** isn’t an alternative to joy.
Acoustic guitars sound nice.
Intelligence only goes so far.
Nukes are a symbol of everything I want to rid myself of.

Sitting, standing there
On by wooden stairs

A childish whisper imagines its way through you.

Cotton, candy, skies
Mad marshmallow pies

And all the sweets I promise to share us blue.


So let the love tumble towards us
While laughing, sailing, downwards
I make it to the end of the street and I sigh

Up on shining clouds
Looking, shining, dancing

The waves in your eyes sparkle like a black hole sea.

Pretty autumn birds
Red rectangle words

Feels as though my brain is in the sun.

And never put out the fire
Oh, never put out the fire
I feel like I’m living for the very first time.

Magic feels real
Old banana peel

It seems as though I trip on it, anyway.

Talking without mouths
While in the crowd

And your melody seems to sing so loud.

As I read past scarred darkened lines
Of poems of yesterday that I could all call mine
But now I feel so rotten inside
And don't dare say I haven't yet tried.

A poem in June could tell a nice story
Unlike today's that are so miserably gory
I'll speak of a time that I once fell in love
But my feelings flew out my ears like doves.

A poem last year could tell of a horse
Creativity decreases; now I just have remorse
For the writing style of which had came through with ease
But it'll never come back even if I say "please".

And that time that I wrote an epic in the snow
But it is Autumn now; and I am a scarecrow
So leave me alone to be wasting away in the field
Who knows, maybe a good poem this time I'll yield

WHAT HAVE I DONE to shrivel away
Out in the night and on through the day
For I feel the child is dying in me
So you'd might as well prepare my grave under a tree.

Yes, everything is so clear
NEW-clear, right?

Because like the explosion of anger I get
When I see some poem better than mine
Everything is newly clear.
It is new clear.

Or, not.
See, I've been called careless. Delusional, a couple times.
But do you think I give a **** about my silly rhymes?
Or how about each person that's floated in and out of my life.
Everything is very clear.

I want you to take the word "nuclear"
Splice it and make it something better.
I did "NEW-CLEAR".
I'm angry.
And no amount of heated words will satisfy the mushroom clouds in my mind.

Well, we walked along the street
Without a sound but just our feet
But our smiles were big and loud
And you’ve got me feeling so newly proud.

Well, we talked in a warm embrace
About love and death and the human race
And how our paths were fated to be
As we clung together underneath a tree

Well, the night hid us inside the cool shade
As my doubts and fears finally started to fade
And your eyes were twinkling with a young romance
So I took your hand and we started to dance

And you said you had cranberries in your mouth
When I wanted to kiss you
But that made the feeling “sweeter”
As my heart did spin and teeter
For the sugar of our hearts made an all-new taste
And the fears of our futures have since been erased
Since our flavors came together to merge into one
As we smile and hold hands while shining like the sun.

My love and I had walked around
We walked for hours without a sound
Then the sun had suddenly fallen down
And my smile had turned into a frown

I turned to her as if to say,
"You are my night to my brightened day"
But she turned into a different girl
And all the colors of life did swirl

I felt a tremor in the blackened floor
And I looked around for an escape door
But she held on my hand 'til I could no longer breathe
As my tongue chopped off from my chattering teeth

The truth was that she was dressed as another
And while I cried for my own dear mother
She told me so bluntly without one single care,
"I've been a stranger as long as you've grown out your hair."

You may ask what I see in her.
Oh, dearie, "let me count the ways".

Unlike every other person I have met
They've swarmed right past my mental bug net
But she is a catch right through and through
So I'll explain how these feelings are simply so true.

Unlike every other person I have met
She's not made of plastic, this beautiful brunette
She's got the life of real surrounding her every move
And to nobody on Earth does she have that fact to prove.

Unlike every other person I have met
She's not afraid of dirt or working hard in sweat
Her slim figure is a dagger in the eyes of fake
And she never fails to dazzle me in the stunts that she would make.

Unlike every other person I have met
Her smile pierces through what barriers I set
So I'll change my ways to what they should be
So long as she wants to stay here with me.

Just like every other person I have met
Some other girl puts me off and feels to me a threat
But she made me feel human through the bone and the skin
And on darkest black days, she always makes me grin.

Our distance kills my soul every day
As I am powerless to protect you from the world
The world with its lusting eyes and cold iron grasp
How can I be sure you won't be taken tomorrow?

Thought I had become nearly as hard as brass
As my mind drifts aimlessly throughout the grass
But still, the pressures of the world continue to hammer
Yet who is to argue a diamond’s beauty and glamour?

For at the end of the day, I’ll be crushed into dust
And my soft flesh-bag form is all but robust
And the perfection of a stone that withstands the cold air
Is subject to pressure but continues without a care

The diamond is pure; the diamond is correct
We all ought to give it its deservéd respect
Because a diamond has no weakness or any sort of flaw
Unlike the simple humans that gaze at it in awe

I can almost hear it speak; give it your full attention
As it so rightfully boasts without a slight hint of pretension
That my sad pouring eyes and my chaotic plagued mind
Resembles nothing that belongs to its perfect carbon kind.

So mine mine mine out the caves in your brain
As the diamonds dryly watch as you all go insane.

The glass remains the same
Behind a face that constantly changes.

He start small, then grow tall
And in a flash, he be changed
Is the mirror particularly amazed?
But the glass only reflects what it sees

For the child that looks deeply into
Becomes a man by the time
the dust is cleaned off the surface

And glass does not crack at the sight of tears
Or an angry set of eyes that stare at it
For the boy only sees himself
And forgets the mirror is there.

Because as the child grows,
the glass remains the same.

What craft would it take to venture to see
Where my cold invisible chains were forged?
My comfort resides in a chamber wee
In the era since my flesh has engorged
Farewell, world of mine that swallows me whole
I long to return to my tunneled home
Consume then my form and leave not the soul
Into the depths of my quarters I roam
If my fetal brethren were to come by
My wrinkled smile would stretch ear to ear
Never again breathing the cruel blue sky
As my innards spill out the dregs of fear
And ****** blue veins that pump to my aid
Wrap around my cold corpse; memories fade.

I could pretend and lie and say:
"I don't feel the sting of every second."

I could pretend and lie and say:
"I'm confident about the future."

Because honestly,
Everything has gone according to plan
If I was pretending and lying to myself.

Years pass by like feathers flying in the breeze...
Hopefully someday my mind will be put at ease.

Inside my lovely paradise
Where everything smiles back at you
Including the clouds of cozy white smoke
And you'll even see me smiling too

Cause what's the point of a world
If it doesn't make you laugh?
Or if it doesn't even convince a grin
Or at least try to find out where you have been?
Since everybody ends up in the smiley little world
at least once.

Stare at the leaves as they dance on
Stare at the trees as they shiver slightly
Beckon the branches as they timber  slowly on
Look past twenty minutes, the music bends to a rhythm

Molten lava pours past the ground world
Gaseous skies rumble towards lightning black skies
And red carpet slides on the children’s playground swirl
Do you feel the birds soar to your senseless fears?

The woody dances keep moving and keep talking
Keep talking and keep walking in the corners of your gears
Tumble out worms and warm hot hand features
I love I love you, too took tool tanks

Right and right again I might
You got a fight to look and smite
So woody dances I preach and plight
Or else you’ll suffer your own blight.

At the moment, my love
You've been the person I've been looking for for ages
But...
Please be careful.

In a tender knotted string
Holds my heart that does sing
Out the tune of my past
Should the song stop, at last?
For you are a new sound
And I like it when you're around
You make me re-evaluate
My entire life; this I do not exaggerate

Your angelic smile
Runs such a mile
Into the blackened corners of my mind
That loathing creeps around with other filthy kinds
But they never had a chance
To your beautiful dance
That dissolved the cogs that span their undying hate
And this I will forever appreciate

The way your words
Fly out like birds
And chirp so sweetly into my restless ears
As they delicately dissolve my endless fears
And not a day goes by
That I want to get high
Off your intoxicating gaze that fulfills my days
While the rest of my nights I'm deep in a haze

But...
Please be careful
For while my heart is happy again
You have the power to destroy it.

The wind carries on a spell-dazed sigh
As the reflections of the faces of people go by
And I carry my form to the twisted building gate
Of mechanical eyes and ears in the school I hate

So the door leans ajar in a cavernous blue hall
And the linoleum floor sparkles and I feel quite small
Letting a giant in the authoritarian music band thrive
As his gunshot cigars remind an evil left alive

A careless whisper hangs on a thread of wonder
But the love in some eyes could all crash down like thunder
For the bullet does not care about a future or past
As an iron-tipped bird flies to deliver me at last

I float past buildings that were not made for me
They watch me go by; do tell how they could see
That I left the school with a wing’ed sly grin
But now I fear that I have deserted my own skin

So splendid days are here indeed
As here in Heaven an AR you’ll never need.

Examine every corner of your face
Take a good little look on every crack
Make sure not to leave any space
On the pimples and zits that pile in a stack

Oh, look, you've got teeth, I see.

When he tells her that he loves her
What will be the answer?
Time stands still
As a million knives jab into his heart
The demons that have plagued him for weeks
Chomp further into his soul
She looks at him in disbelief
Like he suddenly wasn’t the same person anymore
He feels the temperature drop to the negatives
Ice grows all over his body
She steps towards him with her hand on his
Their eyes dilate slightly simultaneously
As all around them suddenly isn’t
Like nothing matters more than this
As she softly whispers, more tenderly than the warmth of summer
As his death winter slowly fades away
When she replies, “I love you, too.”

If I were to dance on a painting
I'd likely wear nothing
As to let each color bring about
Some sort of presence on the flesh.

The angry reds unleash a fiery
Blaze of wonderous imagination
As the volcanoes in the distance
Erupt and take me for a lift.

The gentle blues spin me 'round
And envelop me with the ocean
The water, the sea, the aquatic sound
Beckons my body to its mysteries.

The lustrous yellows electrify
Each tendon and muscle inside
And the sparks call out to thunderstorms
Past by my shocked face and hands.

Color me perfect as to let
Each one have a meaning
So that perhaps the colors can give me
Some sort of meaning of my own.

In the end, once I have finally isolated from everybody

It will be like I have left the world without a trace.

I will have removed myself from other's lives
So that my paranoia and endless desire
Will cease to harm them.

My verbal impulsiveness will disappear
And my words of spite will evaporate

And in the end, my fear will build the wall
Between who I thought loved me
And the mind daggers in my brain
Will tell me she will soon find another.

But in the end, I will be crying.

Collapse, unto those fragments lay dying
With ashy dust palms in a blizzard gust
Still, be still those bird’s gentle wings flying
Caught and clipped on the padlock’s iron rust
Molecules collide and corrode slightly
At the wave of a nuclear notion
Allow light to be birthed and bled nightly
In the heart of a fiery ocean
Though, does our love follow the order
Of the chaos swept through the orange seas?
Be it somehow that we keep the border
Holding stable our trembling knees
Tired I grow of disintegration
Slow and subtle disassociation.

Ingots of ivory lay piled
adjacent to marble plated pillars;
Swords championed by forgotten names
are dulled in desolate hallways on dark, decaying plaques.

Madness melts the walls to his vision;
baroque as an honor killing
and black as obsidian.
He lavishes and bathes in the thorns
and bones of dead roses.
Guilt floods the cellar
and warps the history of those who slept
in the iron-clad embrace of rusted chains.

His head is too heavy to carry
and breaks off onto the grass;
The last thing he sees as his eyes
glaze over like a beast before the knife
is his domain, decaying and dim;
Stairways heading nowhere that border
dining halls as incinerated as the meats
once served there.

He sees the moat dried
and the garrison speared on their own tools of justice
to be left rotting before an eternal Judge.
He turns away, however,
at the sight of the first Spring buds to erupt
from below the soil;
So horrified to know that his citadel
will be demolished to make way for the next monarch’s garden.

From the walls of the cauldron
And the fiery old well
Lives a heartbeat of wolves (and)
A caged tiger's shell
He stumbles in the waters
And he dwells a good drum
He spits in the alleyway
He chews up some gum.

I get up for paper
I get down for rain.
I stand up for sorrow
I lie down for pain.
I think love is crazy
And I ought to be blamed
But the feelings of the night-time
Are all in my name.

Dogs and cats roam silently
In a house of flaming cards
And bagpipes roll endlessly
Played by polka-dot bards
I spin in a tombstone
I laugh in a chair
The electric sparks tangle
And mess up my hair.

He feels an odd poke
In the bottom of his cloud
So what of a bullet?
Go scatter the crowd!
He flips inside out
And dashes out his head
He feels now reborn
Though he truly is dead

So pick up the glass
On the soles of your feet
Get up and spell "magic"
As you groove to the beat
I sing out a longing cry
That hounds out a pig
But my nanny BEATS FRANTIC
SO GO DANCE THE JIG!

I see em' with their high-class smile
I see em' with their evil tongues stretching a mile
I see em' with their soccer ***** and games
I hear em' with their Jackson, Sean, and Sam names

You walk with the feet of a conservative edged freak
Tell me: What is it in this smog-choked world that you seek?
Maybe it's your talk and the provocative way you walk
That show off your pampered pale skin like chalk

You were born with a taper haircut and sly
Plan to make any girl yours; oh me oh my
And is it too cool to believe in a man in the sky?
The choice is yours, but you couldn't go up if you tried

Your eyes are sharp like the knife that stabs the beast
You have for dinner each night that keeps you so greased
But you never once had a clue about the world around you
And you'll fall into place where you'll never know what is true.

{i. Synapses}

A moment’s unfathomable pause;
Drifting in polarized rows of orbit
As the planets vibrate autonomously.

Set courses of motion to fall;
Deities of amber marked with gradience
In columns separated by generations
Of the science of religion;
Unbound and with pure neutrality.

Neurons connected by stardust mildew
On the cosmic breeze of a comet;
Sailing by the passing galaxies
To the cerebrum of the universe’s
Central nervous system.

The bridge between logic and reason
Is built for the sparkling atoms of thought;
Purging doubt and mystery
From the corners of our minds,
And eliminating the inhibitor of
Satanic, and Godly free will.

{ii. Purpose}

March to the sunrise
With the rhythm of a supernova,
And rejoice in the lunar light
Away from the solar cataclysm.
Ritual of space;
Thermonuclear, beautiful grace
Of the genesis fusion of hydrogen
To ultimate iron.
Smothered in subatomic promises of creation,
The journey of light to shadow
Is split apart to reveal its voided entrails
Of fractured physics;
Never again to show remorse
For simply being the messenger
Of purpose.

A quiet solitary stroll in the winter air
And a girl by my right; kiss her, do I dare?
But the time goes by and we slowly drift apart
Yet my soul remains sturdy and so does my heart

So the time sets me forward in a green grassy place
And in only a year's stretch, I meet a new lovely face
And the flowers retract in their roots, but I grow gladly
Love keeps me steady, this feeling I carry on madly

Another moment in my life that painted a golden dream
Was when I held a guitar out to fans who would clap and scream
And now I long to play a heartfelt song once or twice more
But why stop there? After all, I want to sing and soar

I learn in a moment what some may take years
But some days, I feel consumed by irrational fears
Yet, my favorite memories come to my waiting aid
Hopefully, with a love in my life, my fears will now fade.

Husk of will
And thought;
Shallow mannerisms
And speech.

Two-dimensional thoughts
In a flattened valley of perception,
And the winds blow in accordance
To the way the sky wants it.

My throat is made to open,
My mouth is gaping wide;
No say in keeping from
Stuffing myself full
Of someone else’s entrails,
Forced to devour the guts
And grime of a delectable host
That makes my opinion for me.

Shambling silently,
Breathing hollowly,
Barely blinking.

Circuits breaking,
Firmware failing,
Makeshift madness.

Eyes glazing;
Too tired to resist
The imposing parasite
That engulfs my brain
With mindless, empty spaces.