It's 4:01 in the morning, and i'm counting the minutes.
Reminiscing the day you kissed me like I'm yours.
And I'm here,
Laying on my bed.
Wondering if i'm in your dreams.
Hoping you'll save me to this
Nostalgic feeling.
Hoping you'll love me someday,
And repeat that kiss one day.

It's two hours away from seeing you
and I'm nervous.

I'm nervous because,
it will be the last chance I'll be with you.

I'm nervous because,
it will be the last chance that I'll feel your arms around me.

I'm nervous because,
i know that later will be our last kiss.

i'm like a Dementor
i feed off human happiness,
and thus cause depression
and despair to anyone near me.

i infest the darkest, filthiest places,
i glory in decay and despair,
i drain peace, hope,
and happiness out of the air around me.


*~

Then there he is, there it is.
The feeling that I felt before.
The butterflies in my stomach.
The fast beating of my heart.
It hurts so bad but I don't mind.

                   My world's spinning round
                   But my feet's still on the ground.
                   My mind's full of thoughts.
                   And it is all about you.

Then it made me realize,
That I'm falling in love with you.
With your words that speaks reality.
Eyes that sees the world,
The false ideas and the truth.

                    To those words you speak up,
                    It touches my soul from within.
                 Stitches and fixed my damaged heart.

Yes, I've fallen in love with you.
And I know that I don't have a chance.
I don't expect, I won't assume.
And I hate how fast I've fallen in love.
But this is different from the others.

Different from the different.

The wall between us
Makes me insane
Cause I can't hold you with my arms
And make you stay

You're the saddest thing that happened to me
But i have our best moments
That i can hold on forever

I will always say the three words
  behind your back
I love you
To the moon and back.

and so here i am,
staring at the blue horizon,
looking down the earth.
the clouds looks so still and soft,
the sky looks so peaceful and warm,
the earth seemed so quiet
from up here
and i wanted to stay here,
from all the chaos down there
i'd rather stay here.

Whenever I picked a flower,
I've always thought of you.
I removed a petal and chant
He loves me,
And so until the last petal
It always ends up with,
He loves me not.

i hope that someday,
you'll let me read the books you wrote in your mind.

embrace me with your loving arms
and open up your heart and soul.

i can't promise you that everything will be okay,
but i'll be here

by your side
if you ever need a warm embrace,

i'm here to stay.

i knew it,
after that dream that I cried
because you left me,
i knew that you'll do it.
And you did it,
and you will always will.

Isn't it amazing to move to another country?
Like no one knows you
And you're gonna learn their culture,
And maybe their language and handwriting.

It's amazing because it's like starting a new life again,
a new journey,
Finding new friends and maybe one day they'll be your family.

Isn't it amazing to leave the place where
the past that you hated so much
you almost cursed everyone?

Isn't it amazing to just leave everything behind
and be free?

Let's just run away together,
Just for the weekend.

Go to the beach and just lay on the sand,
Looking at the stars.

Just forget the world for a while,
Cause I know you're in pain,
And I feel the same way.

And I want you to be happy,
Escape from reality.

Just for a while be with me.

As i seat here,
With my morning coffee and breakfast,
Cramming to review to the subject I hate,
Doing things I don't actually like,
Accepting challenges that I have
No choice to reject.

Surviving with no purpose in mind,
Feeling empty inside
And couldn't escape from here.

I feel the whole world controlling me.

I asked myself,
        What have I become?
          What happened to the life I was supposed to live?

Tonight, I realized
That I don't deserve you,
And you don't deserve me either.

You look for pleasure,
I look for love.

You love yourself,
But I love you

Enough for me to get hurt,
Enough for you to not see
The depths of the feelings
I still had and will always have
For you.

You picked me up again,
Let me fall,
But you'll never break me
Like you used to before.

Help me to move on,
Help me to move on from you.
Help me to forget all the memories we had.
Undo those touches and kisses.

Help me to ease this pain,
Because it hurts a lot right now.
Help me to unlove you,
Because I don't know
If I can live without you.

I don't believe in second chances any more
I gave them so many chances
And still gets the same,
Pain.

You made a reason to make me stay,
I asked you if you love me and you said yes.
I never knew that,
It was just an illusion,
And made me your second option.
Until you utter those words
That you can't commit.
i know it's just a lie
To make me go
And make her stay.

At some point
And in another perspective,

I missed him

I still misses him,
Even though i know that he's not worth it,

My heart still misses him.

But my brain's telling me what to do,
This time
I'm going to follow it.

tell me again the words you said that night,
you still sound so sweet and right.
but you've changed a lot one day,
when i gave you my heart and you didn't stay.

i cried so many tears and died inside,
when i thought of you and i can't decide,
if i should let go or hold on once more,
because i can't endure the pain anymore.

those sleepless nights that you're in my head,
i hope i'll be in your dreams when you lay in bed.
and how i wish i was there,
to say to you that i still care.

and still, i will love you endlessly
until you love me  *unconditionally

Howcome you find it so easy to let go of me?
   You didn't even fought for me to stay.
Even if I'm the one who's gonna leave,
    I didn't find it easy leaving you.

In the days like this that I'm not sure,
     If you really liked me or it's just for show.
But this spark in my heart is real,
     And i think it will take centuries to disappear.

I remembered the first time we met.
You're wearing your army shirt.
You were holding your phone,
As i walk to you,
You held my waist as we came up the stairs.
And there i knew,
That you will never stay.

I still remember how you eat
The food i bought.
It's like you didn't ate for days.
How you gulp big ounces of water
And told me that water is important.

I still remember you
When i watch the film you love.
The story of a boy, left a girl
And had another chance to love again.

I remember you
When i read through the writings on my wall.
The night that i covered your eyes,
Preventing you to read all of it.
Because I'm too afraid that you might see
The world behind that wall.

I still remember you
As i play my black guitar.
I hated that guitar,
But you still played it
And sang a song for me.

I remember you when i tie my hair.
You used to tie back my hair,
Even though it was such a mess.

I remember you
To the refill of my clutch pencils.
How hard you tried to open it for me.

I still remember you,
The day you carried your basketball shoes
To your office.
And i patiently waited outside
As you talk to your friends.

I remember you whenever i see a coin.
When you told me
That you don't want me to get hurt again
While scraping the love mark on my neck
With a coin.

I remember when you called me on the phone and told me that you have bruises on your arm.
And you're too scared,
Because you thought a ghost did it.

I remember you in Sam smith's song;
Lay me down.
How you did your best
To reach those high notes.
And i know you're happy that day,
Because you made me laugh.

I remember you eating the burger i bought to you at the passenger seat of my car.
And you told me that you're a bit nervous
Because I'm the one who's driving.

And most of all,
I still remember how you held me
And kisses me so tenderly.
And to that kiss,
I can feel all your love.

And i remembered the day,
The last kiss we had.
The kiss that's telling me goodbye.

I will always remember you,
But i have to let this feeling fade away,
For me to forgive you.

You know what *****?
You've waited for nothing
Then you realized
That you've waited for the words
"I don't love you anymore."
And it hurts like hell,
Because you know that he will soon
be gone from you.

I wish time could stop,
So i can talk to you longer,
   Until there are no words to utter
     And we're just laying on each other.

I wish time could stop,
So i can hold you longer,
   Until we're under the covers
      And put our lips together.

I wish time could stop,
So we can linger,
     After the dusk and the winter,
        I will always remember
         the words you whispered.

How long will i say
That i can survive
When I'm too tired
To try.

i wonder if you can see
     a single beauty in me
  just like I see the whole universe
           in you.

I'm so broken and I don't know how to fix myself.

We hold our hands together,
With no words to say
And empty thoughts to wonder.

You're my coffee,
You got me up all night;
Up all night to think of everything.
My vivid imagination,
My desired dreams,
And You.

You're the book
I'm currently reading.
Sad yet somehow happy,
Wise and widely unique.
And I'm loving it,
Like the way I loved you.

You're the photograph
I've been staring all day.
Mesmerized and captivated
by your beauty.

You're the brightest star at night,
shining so bright
above this dark world.
You were the brightest star for me,
And you will always be.

These are the things I love in this mad world.
and then there was *You