"screenshots" poems
You can ignore me,
but remember that you once loved me.
Yes, it hurts me sometimes,
but then I remember what you've done.
Taking screenshots of my loyal love,
and making fun of me for my feelings.
Thinking my heart was just a pawn,
a pawn in a board game that you'll forget about.
This bitterness against you isn't me being a crazy ex girlfriend,
it's me being human and having feelings.
I just don't understand how you could tell me that you loved me,
but leave me for the girl whom you told me you couldn't stand,
and do this all in one day.
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 26, 2017 at 12:25 AM UTC
i say keep your memories
treasure them
both good and bad
they capture a specific moment in your life
a specific feeling
you can go back and look on them
and think
"how emotional i was"
or consider
"how happy i was"
you never experience
the same version of an emotion twice
so keep your memories,
and treasure
those screenshots of life you experience.
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 24, 2016 at 4:53 PM UTC
Hour by hour
She checks her Insta
Posts a new picture
With a Snapchat filter
If it doesn't receive any compliments
It's not good enough
Every morsel is captured
For her followers
Praised by the likes
And screenshots
Wouldn't be seen dead
Without her makeup
Clothing
It's got to be designer
Membership at the gym
To show off her trainers
Trails through pages
Like a maniac
Can't help but compare
And want what she's got
Her house is big
Her boyfriend is handsome
Her friends are cool
Her family supportive
She needs a new car
The latest Apple product
A holiday
To an exotic location
The trolls are cruel
She can't be seen with you
Her lips too thin
Her nose too big
Searching for surgeries to fix the double chin
Without the screen
Her life is meaningless
She's addicted to social media
Depressed and anxious
Jealous and bitter
She's too deep under water
To see you trying to save her
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 24, 2018 at 6:44 AM UTC
#
Throughout the years,
you have made pictures of yourself
available for us to see
and through a number of them--
have shown unedited, a clear and
horrendously honest view, directly
into your deeply-struggling soul--
and even if you may had just days
or hours, previously
conveyed a look of almost carefree
happiness and beauty..
Those chosen few that
graciously gave the glimpse of how
bad it can so often be for you,
also.. unbeknownst to you,
gave light
of how tremendously valuable
and rare you really are.
And like a dyed-in-the-wool stalker,
I saved screenshots of the ones that
moved me to tears
years later..
and they still affect me that way
and in fairness, some the ones also
to where you were truly glowing
in all of your natural beauty..
on the ying' side
of the bipolar swing.
You are rare and unique..
so very very one of a kind,
*(and I have every right throughout the
years to say that to you here and now)*
--that there is a worth within every single
part of it all that is wholly beyond measure--
*you can feel it sometimes, little beauty
I know there is no way that you cannot.*
One day the ravens will no longer be
able to steal that wholly accurate,
beautiful self-view so easily from you,
..and you will be able to live that
wonderfully-accurate view out, daily--
having now found it's way down in to
your very, central core..
. . .
Sorry, young love.. I know how much a
beautiful truth such as this, hurts.
You reveal so much of who you are
through the raw innerworkings and
conveyances of your poetry and music.
You would not be that so very beautiful way,
if you did not believe that Love would
eventually find a way..
yes, beauty.. even for you.
#
Mar 28, 2021
Mar 28, 2021 at 10:11 AM UTC
7:14 PM //
Will you marry me?
7:38 PM //
Yes. Not today though, it would be dark by the time we got home.
2:30 PM //
Marry me
2:35 PM //
One day
6:50 PM //
Marry me
6:50 PM //
I can't today, but I will
2:14 PM //
Will you marry me
2:16 PM //
Yes. It's too hot today though
2:17 PM //
I got a bag of cheetos I've been trying to finish for like 3 days can we get married when I'm done with the bag
2:20 PM //
I guess we'll see
6:27 PM //
Will you marry me
6:28 PM //
I'm not dressed well enough but yes, eventually
6:29 PM //
I'd marry you in pajamas and you'd still be absolutely stunning
6:30 PM //
You're lovely
11:42 PM //
Lets get married
11:43 PM //
If you insist. It's kind of late though
11:43 PM //
It's daytime somewhere
tn
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 12:08 AM UTC
First you told the truth
told me straight girls just werent for you
so
I took his hand
gave him a sweet kiss
and we rolled in the sand
Said life never felt this great and the happiness began
daydreams of us kissing
wedding bands and life plans of us out of the country
My mind on men
couldn't wait to escape but
there was a fault in our fate
a girl who wanted a taste of your luck
Mom thought she was great
and you start to eliminate your love for your man
said god hates gays
cant look at you with starry eyes anyways
people start to notice
A flick of an eye and tap on the shoulder
"Dont do that infront of my children"
they'll be confused as time rolls over
So i believed it
didnt know life would be this different
didn't know id forget that i was into different love interests
So then you started to lie
second time comes round
cherry boy you kissed just had to fly
out of town
said his parents abusive
doesnt raise no boys whos heart flutters for other men, excuses
It hurt
more then just a little
empty beer bottles start to pile the table
cell disabled
lies and cheating start to enable
the dishonesty he had for his lover
man made love for another
no amount of liquor could make them lie next to eachother
She heard it
him whispering soft words
of a males name
the screenshots of emails he sent
were not tame
"I love you" Spilled over the page
and she knew this wasnt a game
So she left that very next day
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 7:22 PM UTC
I've got the world's best kept secret
locked in 2 AM screenshots--
her late night musings over a crusty joint, a crushed pill,
or some ***** cigarettes.
She sends me her thoughts,
fears,
anxieties,
insecurities--
at her most vulnerable,
absolutely the most beautiful.
Her anguish stressed in the digital scroll
(though she doesn't like Kerouac, I let her borrow my copy),
her stained fingers mashing all their hurt and nicotine
into the keyboard--
and her pen aches and her paper stains
with the unrequited love she empathizes with
in the somber pop punk songs that explode from the stereo
she sings loudly on cold and lonely night drives
(I shiver in her passenger seat).
And she made for me the greatest of mixtapes,
her holy scrawl expounding upon a dull grey donut-shaped
slowly fading form of intimacy,
a blank CD--
"This mix is a good time"
and when I jammed it into my car stereo I was illuminated.
She is so cool, she is so punk,
and in her clandestine drugstore car charger thefts,
broken poems,
impalpable aesthetic,
impeccable music taste,
illuminated or even further obfuscated drug trips--
I have the world's best kept secret,
and more than anything, I wish to share it with you--
so she can make someone another mixtape.
May 30, 2016
May 30, 2016 at 11:50 PM UTC
How I learned to deal with bullies:
Let them have their laugh.
Then laugh about the stupid things they say and do later because you got screenshots of all that **** for the cops. xD
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 9:03 PM UTC
*Sapphire Eyes Of An Astral Mermaid,
Perpetual Eternities & Her Sundrenched Serenades,
Myriad Odysseys & Spellbound Fairytales,
Veiled In Elysian Elegance Of Her Harmonious Tales,
****** Landscapes & Electric Fire,
Stellar Cloudscapes Of Her Ecstatic Desires,
Spatial Matrix Of An Emerald Queen,
An Ethereal Butterfly Perpetually Serene,
Colored Screenshots & Blue Moon Foundations,
Wrecking Overdose Of Her Summer Seductions,
Synthetic Transformations Of Her Sun Caged Maze,
Interstellar Canvas Painted In Her Galactic Sage,
Searchlights Trapped In Her Floral Vortex,
Eternal Burns Streaming Spectral ***
Supernova Charades & Her Uncharted Palisades,
Dewdrops Verses Drenched In Her Toxic Shades,
Restrained Insanity & Crystal Heartbeats
Stained Perspectives Of Her Intimate Deceits,
Phantasmal Radiance To Her Billion Dreams,
Enigmatic Raves Blossoming Into Epiphanic Realms.
- 05:47 AM -*
Apr 10, 2017
Apr 10, 2017 at 8:32 PM UTC
Do you remember how big you used to smile whenever we would meet? You could melt icebergs with the warmness in your eyes.
Now, it feels like you don't even see me anymore…
Do you remember all the jokes you used to tell? They were lame most of the time, but you would laugh so hard you couldn't breathe anymore because you thought they were so funny.
Now, how I miss those stupid jokes…
Do you remember how we could talk for hours, never getting tired of each other? You used to confide in me, about anything and everything.
Now, my worst nightmare has come true because we don't talk anymore.
Do you remember how you used to pull my hair from behind and hold me so tight I could feel your heart beating?
Now, I only see you from afar…
Do you remember the little names you used to give me? I claimed to hate all of them, but we both knew I secretly fancied them.
Now, I can't even remember the sounf of your voice…
Do you remember how you used to send me random texts, every day? Some made me blush, some made me smile softly, and some had the power to make me laugh out loud.
Now, all I have left are the few screenshots I have kept. They don’t make me laugh or smile anymore. They make me cry because it hurts to recall how happy we were together…
Remember when we used to know each other?
Because now, we’re just strangers.
May 11, 2019
May 11, 2019 at 11:09 AM UTC
Thought of you
everyday
thought of you
to tell you what you meant
thought of you
to express what i feel
thought of you
and then to end myself again
thought of you
i remembered us
thought of you
i remembered our screenshots you on call
thought of you
i look for you in my sunsets
thought of you
but i am dead to you
thought of you
how easily you moved on
thought of you
why it didn't work
thought of you
we were supposed to last forever
thought of you
you sleep great and i have accompany by darkness
thought of you
then i remembered
thought of you
you dont care
thought of you
i still remember our future together
thought of you
i remember what i am next to you
thought of you
i cry sadness and love
thought of you
i am empty broken
thought of you
you made the decision to be apart
thought of you
i spill art of sorrows and lust for death
just
thought of you
Jan 3, 2021
Jan 3, 2021 at 2:05 PM UTC
I shouldn't still love you,
For that annoys you greatly,
But I do
And no matter how many apps you block and unfollow me on
I still check in to see how you are
I read your posts hoping you mention you miss me
And I ask the friends we share to unlock your thoughts on me
As I lay in bed on these cold lonely nights
Reading our old messages,
Looking at the photos I still have of you saved in my phone,
And finding nostalgia in screenshots of all of my favorite things you've said
Now you didn't know but I had an idea I wanted to do for you,
Something I'd give you when we met which was supposed to be over the summer;
I wanted to make a personalized notebook,
Fill it with my favorite quotes from you,
Poems I write about you,
And even the reasons why I love you so you'd never forget;
And everyone said that was a really sweet idea
So I'd daydream of you keeping that forever
That one day we'd be married and look back at it as we cuddled, smiling back at the memories
That we'd share it with our child{ren} and show them how to enjoy the simple things
Oh honey, whatever happened to that?
Our shared dream of us singing to our child{ren} every night as you strummed away on your guitar?
I guess I'll just sit here and hope you'll maybe one day come back,
Realize what you've left behind and what an amazing girl I really am
But that's just me hoping
Ignoring the fact that you've left me,
Ran for the hills and ditched town,
And that you're already far gone...
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 11:06 PM UTC
i take screenshots of what i feel.
when i first fell for you,
i took screenshots about love,
hope,
and happiness.
when i saw that your heart was somewhere else,
i took screenshots of
depression,
suicide,
and jealousy.
when i moved on,
i took screenshots of things i found funny.
now that the beasts are thriving once again,
i take screenshots.
of the emptiness.
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 8:27 PM UTC
She's like a tigress, walking past my life everytime.
Making me fall for her always.
I thought I love her.
If I did, then why'd I always fight with her for dating someone else?
Why'd I act bad with her?
Why'd I not be more kind to her?
Why'd I not stay out of her life when I planned to leave it rather than her abandoning me?
Because I realised I can't stay without her.
Because I realised she was the tiny missing piece of my puzzle.
Didn't her happiness matter to me more?
If it didn't I wouldn't listen to her keep on telling me about him.
If it did I'd not listen to her endless talks.
If it did I'd not see the pics of him which she kept sending me.
If I didn't I'd not tell her how to convince him.
If it didn't I'd not even have read all the screenshots that she sent me.
If you ask me what I got after all this?
I'd say nothing. All I got was hate.
All I got was to listen to her tell me bye.
All I got was her telling me to forget it.
All I got was her ego.
All I got was her attitude.
All I got was me to hate myself because of whatever I did.
For all I got is to hate world,
to hate humanity,
to hate love,
to hate appreciation,
to hate living..
I wanna live more.
I wanna be part of something much better than her.
I wanna forget her.
I wanna be me again. I wanna be the real me.
I wanna be happy.
I don't wanna regret my actions. I don't wanna regret loving anyone.
Is that too much to ask?
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 7:14 AM UTC
You're in a bar thousands of miles from home in a city that
your tongue struggles to properly pronounce
watching a seventeen year old chain smoking nicotine he bought from
a girl on the corner
when you first feel like you're beginning to settle,
a familiar weight settling in your stomach,
an old acquaintance a stone's throw from a stomachache,
so you slip off of your stool to stagger to the bathroom
where you clutch the porcelain and kneel with fingers poised
like a prayer to your gag reflex,
but you don't do it,
you just sit and feel cold tiles seeping a chill into your knees
and you're trembling.
You don't get up for a long time
but you know you have to settle and sit eventually.
When you go back to the bar,
a boy with a galaxy smile will take you outside
and buy you candy from a sketchy vending machine,
and you can let yourself believe that sweets solve everything:
sweet words and signs and cards tucked into your jewelry box,
tongues tucked between teeth in smiles and screenshots as receipts
of ten second Snapchat dreams.
But other people can't fix you.
Learn that.
Don't you dare let yourself believe,
don't you dare let yourself put something as fragile as
your happiness in someone else's heart
because it probably won't beat as hard as your own,
and it won't pump life into your joys for long,
and before you know it,
that happiness that you tethered to someone else is gone.
That's okay. You'll be okay.
You just need to learn that memories will only ever be memories,
that things only shine when you
remember that you have to keep them clean,
that the chemicals of development take white pages and make them
dark,
that photos come from negatives,
and that you've never had a predisposition
for rose-tinted lenses.
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 10:35 AM UTC
==================================================
I still have screenshots.
From nights
You definitely
Do not remember.
...
I still have recordings
Of things
You don't remember saying.
Words you don't remember falling
From your mouth.
...
I still have memories.
From the first few nights.
Mental images of our smiles.
The laughter.
The fun.
Our happiness.
...
I wish I could
Forget.
....
I want to
Forget
...
I need to
Forget
The way you looked at
Me
==================================================
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 9:20 AM UTC
I am obsessed with my health. Not just simply my health, but my weight, and my eating habits, and my view on life and myself. I am so obsessed that it has now gotten to the point where it is all I think about, and it has become obvious to everyone around me.
I can tell you which lunch ladies at my school won't question your lunch choices, which teachers will let you sit in their classrooms during lunch because you don't want to be around anyone or food; I have memorized restaurant menus, and I can tell you the meals with the lowest amounts of calories. My photo gallery is full of screenshots of healthy, low calorie, low fat, no-sugar recipes that I intend to make when I choose. I follow 177 eating disorders blogs on Tumblr. One of them being my girlfriend, and I get notifications when all of them post anything new. I weigh myself everyday, I know what I am eating two days from now, I overexercise, and I can tell you how many calories are in the 6 200mg ibuprofen I take everyday before facing the world.
I have lost 20 lbs. That doesn't seem like something worth keeping to myself, but it is when you are a high school girl; it is when all girls think the same, and suddenly when they hear numbers, they want to be number 1; they want to be the lowest, to be the winner, to be the most miserable person.
I can tell you exactly what it feels like to be embarrassed of being in your own skin.
I love giving other people food because I want them to remember that food is good for them. I want them to feel as though being given food is a kind gesture, not a last resort.
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 10:33 AM UTC
I don't write love songs no more
You then ask what is this for
I said that I really don't know
But either way would you come home
come home
come home
....Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah....
Baby I got it and no not ironic
The way that I see you go way past the logic
All of the girls in they summer dresses
Got me rappin' without none of the stresses
Blessings on blessings I'm countin' them: Chance
Sonnets to hip-hop that modern romance
Fly me to China, I teach you Setswana
Drinking that wung zai 'cause batho ra tshwana-
Pink: pretty girls like trap music
Think: of who got dat music make movements-
That's me, that's real, any other nig gotta deal
got 'em feels, give 'em tissues, take no issues, under heel-
Step on 'em: let 'em know that I'm only one
Tell on 'em: got the screenshots say I'm the one
Did on 'em- right **** I hit 'em with dat beat
Pretty picture model sisters never follow though like you
See I got you boo
Like no one else luh you
Some people want it all
But I just want you
Yeah, I got you boo
Like no one else luh you
I also got dem views- and ****
all of dem views's you
***
What was the joke that we thought was so funny?
Can I hear it again? Can it touch me at night
and make me feel again?
Aug 29, 2017
Aug 29, 2017 at 1:31 PM UTC
(6/21 at 10:36 AM)
this is where it started, you went full blast, with
[ssfydbso]
(6/24 at 8:12 PM)
cute words and flattery that made me laugh;
[mfsivv]
(7/3 at 1:11 PM)
the nicknames, if you could call them that, in the very least
[vks/sks]
(7/3 at 1:29 PM)
the way we matched
[sks/vks]
(7/6 at 10:13)
the unapologetic delivery
[v#1s/fc]
(8/19 at 12:52 AM)
although before i'd been skeptical, i soon fell into a habit of you, and when i confronted you, oops, little did i learn, how you felt, yet i still extrapolated
[ysaah]
(9/6 at 10:57? PM)
as you shared your music, you showed me new songs and i think i saved them all.
[DBL you said @1am but if i'm honest, i think you were projecting how you felt onto someone else, but maybe i know a thing or two about that]
(10/23 at 6:49 PM)
then things got out of hand, so to speak (wink, wink)
[hbbg]
(11/13 at 11:00 AM)
and i thought it would be a one-time thing, and it was, more or less, until the moment you texted, telling me i had invaded your dreams
[wtbalos? (edited)/(redacted)]
(11/15 at ??:?? AM?)
but when i reached out, in the dead of night, maybe you thought it had underlying meaning, when really, i was lonely and wanted to talk to someone, but that someone was mainly you, or the version of you i concocted in my mind.
[twtnajgd]
(11/24 at 10:53 AM)
and after months of reading into nonexistent nuances, and constructing a cacophony of daydreams involving you,
when i threw my phone out, like three days later - well, i did say three was my favorite number -
i reached out, for i wanted answers, and clarity and closure, and i guess i got it; i finally ******* got it and it drove me to poetry, where i spent the most time in a long time
on you, searching for screenshots for timestamps so this ******* poem is the most accurate it possibly could be, and i even maxed out the discord character limit - just on you, and that's something that i rarely ever do.
[biadttg]
(11/28 at 11:48 PM)
so, my phone is still thrown out, and i get my access back tomorrow, and now i must stick to the reasoning for which i threw it out in the first place, but i still seek out your name and activity on spotify,
(?/? at ??:?? AM&PM)
but i will work to curb that habit and every other one i have associated with you, and one day, they will all be but a distant memory
Nov 29, 2020
Nov 29, 2020 at 10:11 PM UTC
All those fights and bad qualities about you start to fade
But I still have the screenshots of how many times you bade
My existence in your life, that we'd give it once more try
That you're sorry and your sorry and you hope I'm doing fine
And then change your mind
As you harass and beg
But those times didn't happen
Don't speak ill of the dead
Now all our old friends are texting and calling
Sympathy overwhelming as my heart is falling
Down to my stomach to boil in acid
"have you heard"
"Are you ok"
"have you heard"
"Are you ok"
And I say I'm sorry
I don't know how to feel
I'm not even sure if any of this is real
I didn't know him any longer
And how much he went through change
Living in his family's prejudice cage
He ran into traffic in a drunken rage
Now I look at my past
And the messages we exchanged
How he begged for me back
And said his life wouldn't be the same
That he dreams of me every night
And how he'll never find someone like me
I remember our fights and how this all came to be
I remember how his family would look at me
With love and with pity
How I was so handsome, it was a shame I was gay,
How I was a bad influence on their son and how I "made him this way."
I remember sitting every holiday alone
while he went to family dinners
the weight of them explaining my relation to the family was too much to bare
I won't be at the funeral either
I'm assuming that's only fair.
They never wanted me there.
One day I'll visit your grave
And ask the tombstones "why?"
And get a response similar to yours
Although a little more dry
I can't cry
Maybe he is watching me,
I think about that a lot
In my new life
It's been 5 years on the dot.
He still wasn't over me
"I don't think he ever will be."
said his Nana under the old oak tree.
Israel was fallen
By a GMC Sierra
As I watch from afar
This ending of an era
Jun 22, 2018
Jun 22, 2018 at 3:26 PM UTC
I’ve lost count of the weeks.
Grief has made its own calendar.
The pandemic stopped what ambition started
I surrender.
4th March 2020:
My mother has died
I can't close my eyes tonight
not because I am afraid of falling asleep
but of waking up in a tomorrow
where she does not exist.
Behold, the audacity!
I never accepted night,
and still, the sun creeps up
across the jagged Tokyo skyline
ascending the tower ladder,
bouncing off windows,
pushing apart curtains
pouring in from all crevices
as the city flips up
person by person,
onto its stuporous hustle,
as if nothing happened.
-----------------------------------------
Amazing Grace:
A million poems came to hold up my heart
as it fell apart
in my mother's death
I had prepared for this moment,
but what preparations suffice,
when air is wrenched away from breath?
I could write the saddest lines,
sadder than Neruda's
but the tales of her glory
have a more engaging story
to tell.
What would she have said
when she saw herself tagged
in her obituary?
she always counted the likes
and read the comments I receive,
rejoicing momentarily,
in what, she claimed, was borrowed fame.
And now I grieve.
My frantic efforts to capture screenshots
whenever we face-timed,
so I could hoard
her presence.
Oh, bless her essence!
even though her skin-clad bones
had lost the cushion of flesh,
even though the bruit
of the fistula in her left arm terrified me
like a constant 'low-battery' signal,
when she managed to hug me, breathlessly,
that last time,
it was an exchange
of the most amazing grace:
her pain wrapped in patience,
mine in gratitude.
-----------------------------------------
Retrospective Realizations:
And suddenly,
I remember all the condolence messages I have ever written
and retrospectively fill them
with feel, only now revealed to me.
My best compassion and empathy paled in comparison
to this reality.
Death is inevitable; mortality, inescapable.
but life,
with its enticing persistence to carry on,
is cruel.
-----------------------------------------
The poem ends but the pain doesn't:
The real mourning starts
when the visitors leave
and the phone calls end
and the messages stop pouring in,
when you have to resume living
but the dead can't un-die.
Arshia.
22.4.2020
#onewritingaweek
#weekunknown
Apr 28, 2020
Apr 28, 2020 at 10:35 AM UTC
If you feel so much pain
If you feel you can't leave
If you feel hurt cuz of me
If you feel I'm sadness
If you feel and it's real
Just let me be
Just let me go
Just leave me alone
Just ignore me for good
Just do it for your own good
Poetry is my therapy
Poetry is my form of expression
Poetry is my hobby
Poetry is my thing
Poetry is something I'm into
I make music, I make poetry, I make art, I make education, I make improvisation, I make creativity, I make invention,
I make I create
May 21, 2015
May 21, 2015 at 12:10 AM UTC
I love the way I hate the way you wish that I would smile.
If only you could see that so much has been taken from me
That I couldn't love you for a while.
It took those awkward smiles through the camera to see
That I could love you the way you love me.
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 12:05 PM UTC
I remember so many things
So many things that shouldn't even matter to me
“My mind's memory is worse than my randomly saved screenshots.”
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 21, 2016 at 1:00 PM UTC