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"disappoint" poems
1058 Bloom—is Result—to meet a Flower And casually glance Would scarcely cause one to suspect The minor Circumstance Assisting in the Bright Affair So intricately done Then offered as a Butterfly To the Meridian— To pack the Bud—oppose the Worm— Obtain its right of Dew— Adjust the Heat—elude the Wind— Escape the prowling Bee Great Nature not to disappoint Awaiting Her that Day— To be a Flower, is profound Responsibility—
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Bloom—is Result—to meet a Flower
I’d rather write than speak My pen is always responsive My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes My paper doesn’t argue My lines never cross me My sentences never disappoint And my words will never leave me
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Apr 2, 2018
Apr 2, 2018 at 10:36 AM UTC
I’d Rather Write
i don't watch home movies hate them reason being because when i was young i was looking for a movie my mother had recorded for me and accidentally put one in the vcr that i'm not sure i was supposed to see i know the obvious response *"uh oh, **** sorry to disappoint they were only marked with dates   1991 on live television montel williams asks my father *"how can you just throw your child away like a piece of trash?"*    1994 i spend so much time in the emergency room that my parents stop penciling in growth marks on the frame of my bedroom door i always thought it was because they believed i would never grow out of this sickness sometimes i believe the reason that they never bought me a dream catcher was because they never thought i'd live long enough to see them come true    1996 i am eliminated from a spelling bee because i didn't know the 'dad' is silent in 'family'    2013 before i got into poetry i used to do standup none of my jokes were funny one of the other comics tells me my skits are dry sometimes sad he says *"why don't you joke about something like your family?"* so i say *"i never wore any sunblock because i didn't want anything to keep me from my father"* i say *"what do you call christmas without lights or heat?"* before he has a chance to answer i say *"1997. better yet why don't you make like a dad and leave"*    2014 every time we drive past the hospital my mother reminds me how much it cost to save my life like she'd rather have her money back she doesn't have to say that sometimes she wishes it was me who had died instead of my brother i can hear it in the way she says "love you" sometimes i imagine that if i were to die that she would pick out a casket for a child because she never loved the person i became yesterday i told my father how close i'd been to suicide lately and he said *"that's my boy, livin on the edge.."* and i can't remember if i laughed or cried
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Oct 15, 2015
Oct 15, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
there are only dates
i don't watch home movies hate them reason being because when i was young i was looking for a movie my mother had recorded for me and accidentally put one in the vcr that i'm not sure i was supposed to see i know the obvious response *"uh oh, **** sorry to disappoint they were only marked with dates   1991 on live television montel williams asks my father *"how can you just throw your child away like a piece of trash?"*    1994 i spend so much time in the emergency room that my parents stop penciling in growth marks on the frame of my bedroom door i always thought it was because they believed i would never grow out of this sickness sometimes i believe the reason that they never bought me a dream catcher was because they never thought i'd live long enough to see them come true    1996 i am eliminated from a spelling bee because i didn't know the 'dad' is silent in 'family'    2013 before i got into poetry i used to do standup none of my jokes were funny one of the other comics tells me my skits are dry sometimes sad he says *"why don't you joke about something like your family?"* so i say *"i never wore any sunblock because i didn't want anything to keep me from my father"* i say *"what do you call christmas without lights or heat?"* before he has a chance to answer i say *"1997. better yet why don't you make like a dad and leave"*    2014 every time we drive past the hospital my mother reminds me how much it cost to save my life like she'd rather have her money back she doesn't have to say that sometimes she wishes it was me who had died instead of my brother i can hear it in the way she says "love you" sometimes i imagine that if i were to die that she would pick out a casket for a child because she never loved the person i became yesterday i told my father how close i'd been to suicide lately and he said *"that's my boy, livin on the edge.."* and i can't remember if i laughed or cried
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I hate the look that you have when you look at me when I disappoint you. I am nothing but a failure, with nothing to blame but myself.
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Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015 at 10:16 PM UTC
Disappointment
" That's just me " You’ll hear her say " I am lesser than beautiful " I refuse to believe that I am of worth What exactly am I? A courageous soul who is unapologetically herself Well, the truth is I look in the mirror to only see My reflections disappoint No longer can I say that My beauty radiates from within now read from bottom to top
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Jun 18, 2018
Jun 18, 2018 at 4:22 AM UTC
Me. (reversible poem)
Excuse-me, Was that offensive to you? I was just pointing out Something obvious. Oh dear, If it were clear I am sorry to disappoint It was so smart I missed your point.
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Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015 at 7:42 AM UTC
The smart *** theory
The hills step off into whiteness. People or stars Regard me sadly, I disappoint them. The train leaves a line of breath. O slow Horse the colour of rust, Hooves, dolorous bells ---- All morning the Morning has been blackening, A flower left out. My bones hold a stillness, the far Fields melt my heart. They threaten To let me through to a heaven Starless and fatherless, a dark water.
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Sheep In Fog
**It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to say no to someone you love. It’s okay to say no to a friend. It’s okay to say no to a parent or child. It’s okay to say no to a job or relationship. *It’s okay to say no to ****** advances. And it’s okay to say no to a person who’s romantically interested in you. Even if it hurts someone’s feelings, even if you disappoint people, even if you’re judged and ostracized — it’s okay to say no to anything and anyone that causes you pain or makes you uncomfortable. You’re allowed to put yourself first. You’re allowed to set limits and boundaries.* And you deserve to make your happiness and well being a priority. You don’t ever have to settle for something or someone that doesn’t feel right. And you definitely don’t have to compromise yourself for the sake of making other people happy. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, AND IF THAT MEANS SAYING NO, IT'S MORE THAN OKAY.** A quote by – Daniell Koepke
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Mar 1, 2016
Mar 1, 2016 at 3:56 AM UTC
It's okay to say no...
You. You who taught me love and kindness and hope and knitting and optimism and forgiveness and baking. Yet you were also my first loss. You taught me grief and how nothing stays the same. Even a mind can deteriorate so much I wonder it makes me wonder if you ever were so good. Maybe I just exaggerate. Because you aren't  here to prove me wrong or disappoint me. But how could anyone have been so good? But even if I was looking at you through the rose tinted glasses of youth I refuse to tarnish my opinion of you I will keep these glasses forever I insist.You taught me all this and more. Because of you I visit grandad more   to remind me of what I lost and a reminder to appreciate what I still have. That house will always remind me of you I hope that is ok.
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Nov 12, 2016
Nov 12, 2016 at 5:55 PM UTC
Lessons Learnt
zelle ma belle (zelle is an interbank system for sending cash in an instant to someone else’s bank account) sent her an unexpected $250, at 4:00am, of course, a check-plus for her life, because she revel reviews her day at school, as special person day, teaches them well, and anointed, appointed unsolicited confirmation by them “as part of our family” how they crave her body, her touch, at scary movie parts, her kitchens diner size menu, her refusal to ever disappoint, her candy drawer supreme, her crayon color visions which they execute, her zen sense of their moods, and for me, for calling them without hesitation my grandchildren indeed more here hers than mine she asks me why the $$ and poet doesn’t lie but thinks quick at 7:30 am while bed prone, “you won Nana of the Day award” the only (grandparent) on the floor with two kids in her lap, for the magic show, all the rest, benched, chattingly adultry things she thinks on it and says “ok, I accept!” p.s. also,  I have yet to inform her of the (my) elimination of a crystal champagne flute while doing my manly cleanup  from Friday night lights dinner pink champagne celebrating   le weekend’s arrival olp
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Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 8:33 AM UTC
zelle ma belle
When every other thing in your life has shattered and you are a shell of a person and all you do is call me at an ungodly hour to be alone, you don’t have to say hello. You don’t have to say anything. Let your sadness speak its lengths through the silence that permeates through our phones. I’ll stay on until you fall asleep, or I’ll come to your place and hold you until you find your breath again. I’ll wipe away the tears for you, but I won’t tell you not to cry. Sometimes crying is the only thing we can do. When you’re tired, just look at me and give me one of those exhausted smiles we share; I’ll carry you home and undress you. I’ll fold your clothes to the side, tuck you into the covers, and read to you while caressing your hair. Don’t worry about snoring or moving about while you sleep; just get your rest. When you’re furious and all the world has done is disappoint you, I’ll hang from a doorway and be your punching bag. Don’t be gentle with me. Yell until your voice splinters and you punch your knuckles raw and stomp until your knees give out from under you. I’ll lay you down and ice your hands and give you tea for your throat. I’ll hold you as the rage turns into anguish and frustration and all you can do is tremble. And even when my actions are futile and all my words do is come crashing about your ears, I promise that I will at least try for you. All your wounds heal both inside and out. I will always be here to soothe the burns. I will always listen to your rants and ramblings. I will always have a hand for you to hold. I will always love you; everything that I have and everything that I am, all that that I ever will be, is yours. Always.
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Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 6:56 PM UTC
Always
When every other thing in your life has shattered and you are a shell of a person and all you do is call me at an ungodly hour to be alone, you don’t have to say hello. You don’t have to say anything. Let your sadness speak its lengths through the silence that permeates through our phones. I’ll stay on until you fall asleep, or I’ll come to your place and hold you until you find your breath again. I’ll wipe away the tears for you, but I won’t tell you not to cry. Sometimes crying is the only thing we can do. When you’re tired, just look at me and give me one of those exhausted smiles we share; I’ll carry you home and undress you. I’ll fold your clothes to the side, tuck you into the covers, and read to you while caressing your hair. Don’t worry about snoring or moving about while you sleep; just get your rest. When you’re furious and all the world has done is disappoint you, I’ll hang from a doorway and be your punching bag. Don’t be gentle with me. Yell until your voice splinters and you punch your knuckles raw and stomp until your knees give out from under you. I’ll lay you down and ice your hands and give you tea for your throat. I’ll hold you as the rage turns into anguish and frustration and all you can do is tremble. And even when my actions are futile and all my words do is come crashing about your ears, I promise that I will at least try for you. All your wounds heal both inside and out. I will always be here to soothe the burns. I will always listen to your rants and ramblings. I will always have a hand for you to hold. I will always love you; everything that I have and everything that I am, all that that I ever will be, is yours. Always.
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My Heart and Mind had a discussion one day, About a man that they both knew quite well. The heated discussion continued for hours, Both with arguments meant to compel. A debate ensued between the two, With each taking a different perspective. The Heart believed the man to be true, And the Mind thought he was deceptive. Heart started the discussion with an obvious point, "He is sweet and gentle like no man before." Mind responded smugly, "That's great in the moment but how does he act after she's walked out the door?" Heart countered, already knowing the point being made. "Sure, he may not be able to write or call; He is busy with constant demands of his time. What he feels in his heart matters most of all." "I disagree," and Mind continued to say, "Actions mean far more than words alone. It is when words and actions are considered together that a man's true feelings are shown." "He has to compartmentalize to get through the day." Heart continued to defend his intentions, When they are together his feelings are real, but her insecurities span many dimensions." "It's funny you would mention compartmentalizing. Apparently your memory isn't as sharp as mine, He was once quoted as saying this was not his strength, proof that his statements don't always align." "You are cynical, suspicious and guarded." Heart was clearly tired of this dispute, "Those traits are clouding your judgement. He is genuine and telling the truth." "I think you are overlooking the obvious but I'll relax and stop doubting his intentions if he makes an effort to send a simple sign." Heart and Mind both wanting to prove their point and have the bragging rights of superiority. Mind sure that the man would disappoint her; Heart confident in his genuine sincerity. Both waited patiently for some type of gesture, Something to demonstrate that he really does care. Heart began to worry and whispered to herself, "Stay calm and trust that it's not just another affair." Patience prevailed and an email arrived, just as Heart had hoped and prayed. Mind, although disappointed by being proved wrong, was relieved and no longer afraid. Trust and calm filled her spirit when thinking of him, but it was both that won in the end. Maybe they were more than temporary lovers and could also be permanent friends.
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Dec 30, 2012
Dec 30, 2012 at 10:45 AM UTC
Heart vs. Mind
My Heart and Mind had a discussion one day, About a man that they both knew quite well. The heated discussion continued for hours, Both with arguments meant to compel. A debate ensued between the two, With each taking a different perspective. The Heart believed the man to be true, And the Mind thought he was deceptive. Heart started the discussion with an obvious point, "He is sweet and gentle like no man before." Mind responded smugly, "That's great in the moment but how does he act after she's walked out the door?" Heart countered, already knowing the point being made. "Sure, he may not be able to write or call; He is busy with constant demands of his time. What he feels in his heart matters most of all." "I disagree," and Mind continued to say, "Actions mean far more than words alone. It is when words and actions are considered together that a man's true feelings are shown." "He has to compartmentalize to get through the day." Heart continued to defend his intentions, When they are together his feelings are real, but her insecurities span many dimensions." "It's funny you would mention compartmentalizing. Apparently your memory isn't as sharp as mine, He was once quoted as saying this was not his strength, proof that his statements don't always align." "You are cynical, suspicious and guarded." Heart was clearly tired of this dispute, "Those traits are clouding your judgement. He is genuine and telling the truth." "I think you are overlooking the obvious but I'll relax and stop doubting his intentions if he makes an effort to send a simple sign." Heart and Mind both wanting to prove their point and have the bragging rights of superiority. Mind sure that the man would disappoint her; Heart confident in his genuine sincerity. Both waited patiently for some type of gesture, Something to demonstrate that he really does care. Heart began to worry and whispered to herself, "Stay calm and trust that it's not just another affair." Patience prevailed and an email arrived, just as Heart had hoped and prayed. Mind, although disappointed by being proved wrong, was relieved and no longer afraid. Trust and calm filled her spirit when thinking of him, but it was both that won in the end. Maybe they were more than temporary lovers and could also be permanent friends.
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51
There are people that have this ability to make people melt in their hands They walk around their entire lives finding their prey and engaging them and make them melt The victim is usually rewarded with a night of rampant *** and is then dumped into this puddle when the antagonist of this story is done with them Sometimes it takes days for the victim to turn back into a solid substance Sometimes it takes weeks Sometimes they never fully turn bqck to normal and their will be a part of them that will always remain liquid because of the antagonist Many fall victim to this antagonist Until the protagonist comes along and upsets the routine The protagonist cannot be melted And it is due to this very specific favt that the antagonist ia revealed as the true protagonist of our story That's usually a goodish enough story line that melts the audience But people like myself who do not melt sees the true sadness in the lack of melting We do not melt because we have been melted ao much that we went for an operation and we came out transformed We are now metal And I'm sorry to disappoint that antagonist/antagonist who becomes a protagonist But the best you would ever be able to do to me is to warm my heart
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Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 10:04 AM UTC
Heartwarming words
I never had a best friend in my life till I met you, All I had were normal friends who were not close. The most genuine friend I have is none other than you, I consider it lucky that me as a best friend you chose. Now I won't ever disappoint you, my friend, I am learning youthful ways from you now, Of our friendship there lies not at all an end, They will notice us only getting closer & how. For you, I write this poem as I am really happy today remembering all the good times that we have been spending together. Yes I am possessive and selfish when I ask you solely for myself, Not because I am negative, but because I am hopeful that our sun will shine, Your happiness is my main motive as I motivate you to study for yourself, Not because I will gain something out of it but as you are going to be happy in future. In you I have seen an Angel, So helpful and kind you are, Motherly care for future patients, Now I conclude this post buddy.
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Mar 31, 2015
Mar 31, 2015 at 2:49 AM UTC
My Imaginary Best Friend
my eyes finally rested, the perfect shade of pain's gray Hers swiftly burned copper-red we're bound to disappoint along the way always looking up to someone out-of-reach stammering over words, just to make a point the point is dull, anyway.
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Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013 at 9:58 AM UTC
deep mauve
Warning: Use dis list in context. You decide on which side you fall. disappear disregard disaster displace disqualify disrepair disturb dissipate disability dispose dismal distribute distrust disturb discriminate discuss disdain disguise dishearten disinherit disown disparage disagree disgruntle disclose discolour dispute disarm discover disassemble disadvantage disallow dispossess discontent discontinue disrespect disincline discomfort disrepute dishonest disillusion dishonor dismiss disobey disjoin disappoint discipline discord discern discrete disfigure disconnect disapprove discharge disbar disease discord disfavor disengage disassociate discipline discount disembody displace dissaray disembowel discombobulate discredit discourse disentangle disenfranchise disembark discard disburse disbelief discover disable disagree disintegrate dismay dispense dislodge disclaimer disapprove dissatisfy disrupt dispel dislike dismantle disloyal disbatch disrobe disperse display disaprove disciple disavow disconcert disinfect disorder dismal dismember displease dissemble disunity dislocate distort distrust distress dissolute disassociate distill discect (?) distemper distain distasteful distraught dissolve dissonant dissuade And dis isn't de end.
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Aug 22, 2015
Aug 22, 2015 at 12:06 PM UTC
Is Dis Good or Is Dis Bad (a partici-poem)
Wet nose, four paws, and a wagging tail follow right beside me on an uncharted trail. We're exploring, but just what for? National treasure or maybe folklore? He doesn't know and neither do I. On a day like this we don't need to ask why. I stop for a break and he looks right at me. "C'mon Dev. Let's make it snappy." I can't disappoint those big brown eyes. He never complains, frowns, or tells lies. His only intention is to insure I'm happy. So I stand back up and give him a patting. We march on in search of who knows. Through the highest highs and the lowest lows, There is always an adventure just around the bend. He's not only a puppy - he's my hairy best friend.
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Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 2:41 AM UTC
Hairy Best Friend
As human beings we risk looking like a fool for love because we have dreams for the adventure of being alive. But as so often happens we are opened by life's betrayals or we are closed from fear of further pain but still want that chance to dance in the rain. How many of us never realize that our feelings toward others are determined by our feelings toward ourselves. Be realistic and remember the limitations of being human and remember if you can't love yourself you can't love others. Let go when you're hurting too much and give up when love isn't enough. We must learn to move on when things are not like before and know that there is someone out there who will love you even more. Be true to yourself even if you disappoint others and if we must bear the accusation of betrayal don't betray your own soul. See life's beauty even when it is not pretty and be able to live with failure even if it isn't yours. Don't cry because it is over but smile because it happened and realize you only live once but if done right once is all you need. When life offers you a dream that is far beyond what you had ever hoped for don' t grieve when it comes to an end just go confidently in that direction.   Live the life that you have imagined and do more than just exist but live knowing that where there is love there is life. For some reason we never see things as they are but we see them as we are because that is part of the limitations of being human and it is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. Sometimes we are beautiful maybe not in looks but in what we say and just in what we are so know life is to be enjoyed and  not just endured and know that to someone you are a star.                           Jon  York                                2012
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Jun 8, 2012
Jun 8, 2012 at 9:47 PM UTC
The Limitations of Being Human
As human beings we risk looking like a fool for love because we have dreams for the adventure of being alive. But as so often happens we are opened by life's betrayals or we are closed from fear of further pain but still want that chance to dance in the rain. How many of us never realize that our feelings toward others are determined by our feelings toward ourselves. Be realistic and remember the limitations of being human and remember if you can't love yourself you can't love others. Let go when you're hurting too much and give up when love isn't enough. We must learn to move on when things are not like before and know that there is someone out there who will love you even more. Be true to yourself even if you disappoint others and if we must bear the accusation of betrayal don't betray your own soul. See life's beauty even when it is not pretty and be able to live with failure even if it isn't yours. Don't cry because it is over but smile because it happened and realize you only live once but if done right once is all you need. When life offers you a dream that is far beyond what you had ever hoped for don' t grieve when it comes to an end just go confidently in that direction.   Live the life that you have imagined and do more than just exist but live knowing that where there is love there is life. For some reason we never see things as they are but we see them as we are because that is part of the limitations of being human and it is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not. Sometimes we are beautiful maybe not in looks but in what we say and just in what we are so know life is to be enjoyed and  not just endured and know that to someone you are a star.                           Jon  York                                2012
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I’m happy (I’m depressed) I love myself (I hate myself) I can’t wait to live my life (I can’t wait to die) I am lucky to have my friends (why do they even like me?) I have a family who loves me (and I continue to disappoint them) I am an excellent student (I can’t focus in school) I want to travel the world (will I even live to do that?) I’m fine (I’m not fine) I’m perfectly okay (please help me)
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Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 8:46 PM UTC
(the truth)
i am so young
 i am
 seventeen 
again and again 
playing that same anthem 
again and again
 where have the years gone? 
i used to be free 
from the truths of freedom 
from reality 
i scold myself 
more than my father
 disappoint myself
 just like my mother 
drown myself
 without any grace 
and wash up on the coast
 without my face
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Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
march 15th // 11:27pm
This is not poetry. I'm sorry to disappoint. XXXX ** *** XXXXXX. X'X XXXXX ** XXXXXXXXXX. OOOO OO OOO OOOOOO. O'O OOOOO OO OOOOOOOOOO. This is not ironic. This is what we are. xoxo
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Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 10:33 AM UTC
The Poets are Plant Food, All of Them
Suicidal serial killer bashes the bones hoping to feel nothing because that would be something A Swelling self-image pops in the distance is chewed, then inflated over and over this routine never fails to cycle, disappoint, and please Ethanol injections cuz oral doesn't do **** give it to me ******** ***** I'll munch your muffin just fo nuthin like I'm ****** with y'all Cuz I surf to fall and smoke to die In the high where life is inconsequential to question and I feel less than short Of supernatural Who are these new kids? They dress in tights and pick fights I can't see your face but I trust the feeling Damsel's are rescued blood is spewed Yet insanity is gushing The drugs are running out We might just be super We might just be heroes Entropy enters me ripping the glamour and with a stammer I know This isn't a comic book Marvel In awe at these elaborately induced fabrications and schemes to change the pecking order or chisel the universe to perfection The line of schizophrenic and degenerate flees for the hills that now have eyes
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Jul 31, 2014
Jul 31, 2014 at 5:44 AM UTC
Suicidal Serial Killer
Think back to those days when you were a little person. remember your father Think back at how you looked up to him and knew, remember your father He may disappoint you but he will ALWAYS be there. REMEMBER YOUR FATHER REMEMBER YOUR FATHER REMEMBER YOUR FATHER REMEMBER YOUR FATHER REMEMBER YOUR FATHER REMEMBER YOUR FATHER Good or bad, REMEMBER YOUR FATHER.
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Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 7:53 PM UTC
Review: A Quiet Place
Dear America, How are you ? I must ask what do you see as beauty . For I am a young black women who just want to be beautiful in your eyes and so I ask what must I become to be such in yours. Must I buy the hair of foreigners and wear it as my own since I know my natural hair and rough texture to distasteful for your eyes. I have become too ashamed of my appearance therefore please tell me what I must do to be beautiful. I know that my thick thighs and curves are not acceptable. I eat less and run more but I can't seem to quite reach the image displayed in the magazines. My buttocks are quite small and I do not have the means to pay for implantations but I want to be beautiful so I must find a way, right? Oh America my biggest blemish is my dark skin. I search for bleaching products since lighter skin women are superior and I must be part of the hierarchy of beauty. My skin contains this substance called melanin that I just can't seem to get rid of but of course I won't disappoint you I will find a way to become the right complexion. America I truly do want to be beautiful in your eyes and will do what is necessary. I want men to find me appealing, I want my fellow women to envy my beauty, and most of all I want to be what you view beautiful. ..I have foreign hair now no more of that rough natural hair, my skin is much lighter and I am a size zero now with a large buttocks. I do not recognize myself in the mirror but why does that matter because you think I'm beautiful now, right America?
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Sep 13, 2016
Sep 13, 2016 at 4:10 AM UTC
Dear America
Dear America, How are you ? I must ask what do you see as beauty . For I am a young black women who just want to be beautiful in your eyes and so I ask what must I become to be such in yours. Must I buy the hair of foreigners and wear it as my own since I know my natural hair and rough texture to distasteful for your eyes. I have become too ashamed of my appearance therefore please tell me what I must do to be beautiful. I know that my thick thighs and curves are not acceptable. I eat less and run more but I can't seem to quite reach the image displayed in the magazines. My buttocks are quite small and I do not have the means to pay for implantations but I want to be beautiful so I must find a way, right? Oh America my biggest blemish is my dark skin. I search for bleaching products since lighter skin women are superior and I must be part of the hierarchy of beauty. My skin contains this substance called melanin that I just can't seem to get rid of but of course I won't disappoint you I will find a way to become the right complexion. America I truly do want to be beautiful in your eyes and will do what is necessary. I want men to find me appealing, I want my fellow women to envy my beauty, and most of all I want to be what you view beautiful. ..I have foreign hair now no more of that rough natural hair, my skin is much lighter and I am a size zero now with a large buttocks. I do not recognize myself in the mirror but why does that matter because you think I'm beautiful now, right America?
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