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"berated" poems
I want to compel, all the people to tell, of their travels, their hardships, b and times that went well. The love that was shared, and hate that was bared. Is a part of your life, if you truly cared. Twas fear that berated the souls of the earth. With pain contemplated, the flame lost its hearth. But when claims no one stated, begin to unearth. The stains we created, start losing their worth. For what is fear without worries to fuel it? Darkness may make it, but governments mule it. Realize, this fear isn't real, and misinformation, is all you've been fed. Then you'll start to ponder, is this life even real? Is there any legitimacy, in all the things that they've said? There is nothing hiding in your closet or bed. And there are less evil people, than in the news that you've read. This idea was created, so they wouldn't be blamed. But you won't be jaded, you cannot not be tamed. The people that faded, that still are unnamed. You fight for their memory, cause they'd do the same. You Stand for their ideals, And keep them all close. Feel all of the feels, cheerful or morose.
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May 28, 2015
May 28, 2015 at 10:03 PM UTC
This Fear isn't real
What do you want from me? I ask my memories, Wondering why they’ve come out to play, Tap dancing across the wood floors of me mind, Creating a cacophony that echoes off my skull. What do you want from me? I hear them when they respond, “We’re trying to make you safe.” I know they’re attempting to prevent tumbling off the same rocks, Trying to ensure I don’t crack bones on the same hard places. They are telling me to avoid having pieces of me stolen again. I couldn’t protect myself at thirteen or sixteen, So I stumbled down the same dark alleys until I was 18 And paid a grander price in an even darker cave at 19. I’m 22 now, and I’m still picking up the pieces out of the mouths of men, Men who cut me down until I was a conglomerate of bite size, fuckable pieces. I was taught not to scream when my pieces were being consumed. Who needs to be a whole human anyway? If tip money went into my pocket, If he told me he loved me afterwards, If I was alive to see the morning light, Who was I to complain? And when I stopped wanting to see the sun rise, They gazed upon my pieces And berated me for the wreckage. What do you want from me? Is a question I only know how to ask myself. I have never dared ask those who stole from me Whether they came to me in good faith, Never had the wisdom to lock up what was valuable. I have never demanded of anyone what their intentions were, So I ask again: What do you want from me? What am I expected to provide? Am I allowed to be a whole human here? Or will you require I be bite size again? I am desperate to be safe in the same flesh that once enticed those who hunted me. What do you want from me? I’ll tell you what I want. I want to go home whole, Knowing my skin is all mine.
0
May 10, 2022
May 10, 2022 at 12:50 PM UTC
What Do You Want from Me?
What do you want from me? I ask my memories, Wondering why they’ve come out to play, Tap dancing across the wood floors of me mind, Creating a cacophony that echoes off my skull. What do you want from me? I hear them when they respond, “We’re trying to make you safe.” I know they’re attempting to prevent tumbling off the same rocks, Trying to ensure I don’t crack bones on the same hard places. They are telling me to avoid having pieces of me stolen again. I couldn’t protect myself at thirteen or sixteen, So I stumbled down the same dark alleys until I was 18 And paid a grander price in an even darker cave at 19. I’m 22 now, and I’m still picking up the pieces out of the mouths of men, Men who cut me down until I was a conglomerate of bite size, fuckable pieces. I was taught not to scream when my pieces were being consumed. Who needs to be a whole human anyway? If tip money went into my pocket, If he told me he loved me afterwards, If I was alive to see the morning light, Who was I to complain? And when I stopped wanting to see the sun rise, They gazed upon my pieces And berated me for the wreckage. What do you want from me? Is a question I only know how to ask myself. I have never dared ask those who stole from me Whether they came to me in good faith, Never had the wisdom to lock up what was valuable. I have never demanded of anyone what their intentions were, So I ask again: What do you want from me? What am I expected to provide? Am I allowed to be a whole human here? Or will you require I be bite size again? I am desperate to be safe in the same flesh that once enticed those who hunted me. What do you want from me? I’ll tell you what I want. I want to go home whole, Knowing my skin is all mine.
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39
Surrounded by flame i see the false memories Tricks of demons burnt away Demons of hell couldnt do this Demons of my own creation Demons who seek to pull me down My demons,the ones who swim and i cant drown or choke The ones who tear me apart all day The ones who say im worthless and stupid The ones who say im fat and ugly The ones who say i do not deserve happiness unless i suffer for it The ones who wont let me be selfish no matter how small the wish The ones who taunt me with childhood memories The ones who cant let me forget what is real The ones who laugh when i cry because my dreams betray me I cannot escape I will never escape myself I am alone in my mind and even though my love tries he can never understand There is not a love on this earth and in this place that could understand I betray myself and berate myself to keep things simple I break myself down so no one else can I break myself down to build up a wall with my heart My castle around my heart is my soul Made to be scary Made to defend a void that is behind it Made so in order to let down my walls i must break myself
0
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 5:05 AM UTC
Demons of a Berated Heart
He walks through a wood once every month He takes the same route near The Wishing Pond He meets with the Collector in a secluded building Who never fails to purchase every new painting The man was an artist, the Collector was a fan His works and his reputation was known throughout the land The Artist had it all: a nice house, a loving wife, friends in every town and city, and wealth to last his life Every month, another painting Every month, the Collector's money His life was set, his life was perfect All he needed as an artist was a self portrait So this next month's painting would be special For when he would pass, this will be his memorial He started on an early morning, standing in front of a mirror With skill and patience, shading and texture, the first sketch was done The painting process took a few days Without sleep or food, for hours in his room he stayed Near the end of the month, the portrait finally done Proud and exhausted, the artist exclaimed, "This is a special one." The next day, he readied his portrait to take To the Collector, who was expecting to be amazed With a glance at the picture before he could leave He noticed many flaws and said, "I want a perfect me" He sent a letter explaining the delay To the Collector, disappointed, he lessened the pay For days, the Artist fixed each flaw The big ears, the small nose, the feminine jaw Every day he found a new imperfection But after months and months of fixing, he achieved satisfaction He took his self portrait on his once monthly walk To the Collector's house, pass The Wishing Pond He tripped on a rock, dropping his portrait Falling into the pond, his art was ruined The canvas had sunk, the water grew murky The paint spread around and clouded before him The cloudy colors swirled in the water's waves The Artist, distraught, sat in heartache A figure rose from the water, the colors had faded He recognized it immediately as the perfection he painted His portrait was alive for to not be was imperfect His creation looked back at him and exclaimed, "I am The Artist" Throughout the years, the portrait had adopted The Artist's life With perfect skills, perfect fame, and even the love of his wife The Collector, impressed by its own work, gave it double the pay He also terminated his contract, he and the Artist had made The Artist was left with nothing His life stolen by his painting Embodied perfection had taken it all Living wishful thinking, alive from The Pond He tasked, and pushed, and berated himself to achieve perfection He succeeded, but lost everything to his perfect version.
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Feb 28, 2011
Feb 28, 2011 at 10:46 PM UTC
The Artist
He walks through a wood once every month He takes the same route near The Wishing Pond He meets with the Collector in a secluded building Who never fails to purchase every new painting The man was an artist, the Collector was a fan His works and his reputation was known throughout the land The Artist had it all: a nice house, a loving wife, friends in every town and city, and wealth to last his life Every month, another painting Every month, the Collector's money His life was set, his life was perfect All he needed as an artist was a self portrait So this next month's painting would be special For when he would pass, this will be his memorial He started on an early morning, standing in front of a mirror With skill and patience, shading and texture, the first sketch was done The painting process took a few days Without sleep or food, for hours in his room he stayed Near the end of the month, the portrait finally done Proud and exhausted, the artist exclaimed, "This is a special one." The next day, he readied his portrait to take To the Collector, who was expecting to be amazed With a glance at the picture before he could leave He noticed many flaws and said, "I want a perfect me" He sent a letter explaining the delay To the Collector, disappointed, he lessened the pay For days, the Artist fixed each flaw The big ears, the small nose, the feminine jaw Every day he found a new imperfection But after months and months of fixing, he achieved satisfaction He took his self portrait on his once monthly walk To the Collector's house, pass The Wishing Pond He tripped on a rock, dropping his portrait Falling into the pond, his art was ruined The canvas had sunk, the water grew murky The paint spread around and clouded before him The cloudy colors swirled in the water's waves The Artist, distraught, sat in heartache A figure rose from the water, the colors had faded He recognized it immediately as the perfection he painted His portrait was alive for to not be was imperfect His creation looked back at him and exclaimed, "I am The Artist" Throughout the years, the portrait had adopted The Artist's life With perfect skills, perfect fame, and even the love of his wife The Collector, impressed by its own work, gave it double the pay He also terminated his contract, he and the Artist had made The Artist was left with nothing His life stolen by his painting Embodied perfection had taken it all Living wishful thinking, alive from The Pond He tasked, and pushed, and berated himself to achieve perfection He succeeded, but lost everything to his perfect version.
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52
She stood, amidst tutts, wore a mini skirt... (From the first decade).  Took a Step forward, pioneering the teenager Long fair hair, parted mid section Cascading over her cherry cupcakes Remembering first impressions aren't always Accurate, they still berated her without Knowing her.  First appearances were all They knew and could rely on...back then Why would she wear a skirt so short if Respectability meant anything, closed off They too had been judged, time dulling Their posture straight backed.  Space lacked Room to be filled with meanderings of another Era, balancing her book atop red curls and Speckled egg skin.  Recalling the longing Admiration of someone who dared to wear Their inner choice on the outside
0
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 12:25 PM UTC
Courage
I sit back on the computer, Browsing through the pages of those I grew up with Those people who thought they knew everything about me I sit back and see what they’ve made of themselves This girl is single, living alone with her four cats This other girl now has two kids, unmarried and no degree This girl is engaged to her high school sweetheart, yet they don’t look happy This other couple broke up, wait they’re back together, nope spoke too soon This guy is working at the local supermarket, never went to college after his arrest This guy gained a few pounds, no longer the star athlete This guy dropped off the map See being the quiet girl, I learned secrets I knew the deepest secrets of every single one of these people Because while they sat in the back of the room chattering on about their so called problems I was sitting in the front, Listening This girl had two boyfriends, and even more flings This girl slept with four guys in one night This girl’s boyfriend cheated on her, over and over again This couple would sneak off in between classes, during lunch, or school assemblies This guy was the trophy child, who gave away free drugs to his friends hidden inside pens This guy was the quarterback; everything handed to him on a golden platter This guy was the school stud who was hiding a relationship with his boyfriend by sleeping with every girl he could Back then I listened because I wanted to feel apart of something bigger I wanted to be one of them, I wanted to be invited to all those weekend bashes I wanted to be the girl people felt awed by, inspired by, idolized I wanted to be part of the “in” crowd So I stood there, day after day As they teased me Berated me Shattered my confidence Tearing apart everything I was Telling me I would never amount to anything Telling me I was fat, ugly, stupid That I unworthy of love Telling me… I Was Nothing Let them tell me that today I see everything of what they have become Those people I wanted to be are no longer there Their confidence shattered by reality The best days of their life ended the day they left high school Mine on the other hand are just beginning I am the girl who is wanted I’m the girl who can go wild I’m the girl who can be passionate I’m the girl who is adventurous I’m the girl who brings pride I’m the girl who is the athlete I'm the girl who travels the world I’m the girl who is unashamed of who I am Because by pushing me out My oppressors gave me everything I needed The strength to try The courage to dream The ability to think The confidence to be unique Independence to thrive But more than anything My oppressors gave me desire Desire to be more than they believed I could be
0
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 26, 2015 at 11:30 PM UTC
Sitting Back
I sit back on the computer, Browsing through the pages of those I grew up with Those people who thought they knew everything about me I sit back and see what they’ve made of themselves This girl is single, living alone with her four cats This other girl now has two kids, unmarried and no degree This girl is engaged to her high school sweetheart, yet they don’t look happy This other couple broke up, wait they’re back together, nope spoke too soon This guy is working at the local supermarket, never went to college after his arrest This guy gained a few pounds, no longer the star athlete This guy dropped off the map See being the quiet girl, I learned secrets I knew the deepest secrets of every single one of these people Because while they sat in the back of the room chattering on about their so called problems I was sitting in the front, Listening This girl had two boyfriends, and even more flings This girl slept with four guys in one night This girl’s boyfriend cheated on her, over and over again This couple would sneak off in between classes, during lunch, or school assemblies This guy was the trophy child, who gave away free drugs to his friends hidden inside pens This guy was the quarterback; everything handed to him on a golden platter This guy was the school stud who was hiding a relationship with his boyfriend by sleeping with every girl he could Back then I listened because I wanted to feel apart of something bigger I wanted to be one of them, I wanted to be invited to all those weekend bashes I wanted to be the girl people felt awed by, inspired by, idolized I wanted to be part of the “in” crowd So I stood there, day after day As they teased me Berated me Shattered my confidence Tearing apart everything I was Telling me I would never amount to anything Telling me I was fat, ugly, stupid That I unworthy of love Telling me… I Was Nothing Let them tell me that today I see everything of what they have become Those people I wanted to be are no longer there Their confidence shattered by reality The best days of their life ended the day they left high school Mine on the other hand are just beginning I am the girl who is wanted I’m the girl who can go wild I’m the girl who can be passionate I’m the girl who is adventurous I’m the girl who brings pride I’m the girl who is the athlete I'm the girl who travels the world I’m the girl who is unashamed of who I am Because by pushing me out My oppressors gave me everything I needed The strength to try The courage to dream The ability to think The confidence to be unique Independence to thrive But more than anything My oppressors gave me desire Desire to be more than they believed I could be
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64
Surely you, Jester. Unduly-expressed. Lambasted, insulted. Abrasive ... au naturel? I think... Surely not. Unless, Had the aforementioned not just the will to rip through my throat,  but too the audacity to penetrate the inclement root you call heart. Well, I had made my decision. and lo! I would have stood by it too; had my own form of insecurity been given the chance to wilt. Not further admonished on how to think. how to act How 'one' should primarily be. Instead I lie bludgeoned, berated; and by the very thing that antecedently spurred   a cascade of unsophisticated giddiness. That too was far from the cry of a Devil-may-care persona. I would almost weep the lost opportunity,   Whereas I should simply, and most ardently Just be.
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Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 1:56 AM UTC
An ode to this one impression, savagely snuffed before its prime.
I berated her But she was stronger than me I put pressure on her But she was always magnificent I judged her harshly But she was always right I tried to control her But we both wanted freedom I made her weep But she made me see I kept her locked away But she survives I tried to quiet her But she sang, she danced I asked her to take the lead She said there's none to take I mistrusted her She waited patiently I wore my checkered suit She wore nothing but jewels I spoke to her timidly And she answered eagerly I invited her in And we arrived.
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Feb 28, 2021
Feb 28, 2021 at 5:32 AM UTC
Wolf Woman
We, the children of a system that awards you simple papers That state 'he/she has achieved what we deem quality' As we are all judged and graded in exactly the same way Because they promote individuality unless it's intelligence 'We all learn differently, and at different paces' Is an often preached sermon of our progenitors these days Yet I know more about synonyms for ancestry and parents Than how to survive once our papers begin to mean nothing So here I'd like you to tell me what is considered knowledge And I'd ask of the older generations to insert customary wisdom Because more adults have spat quotes to me like gospel Than tought me what I really need to know and value I've got a track record spanning back almost two decades Of being sorry for just being myself at all times So I think my teachers should be proud of themselves To know that the things they preach to me really get through You see, homework and exams mean almost nothing To those who need to really think on their feet Because this same system idolizes the memory Mistaking it for a wealth of rawest knowledge So I love it when they say school is too easy on kids now Rewarding losing and not promoting any ambition Because I've been berated for attaining success at any level Due to grades that define me not successful enough
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Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 8:08 PM UTC
Intelligence
Torrents of vapor ridden wind, snatched at her hair. Below, rattled the rapid, riotous and vast, rippling sea. Churning, like a chewing, charming serpent's lair. Once long ago I knew her; with time she left me be. On the edge she was, with will to leap t'wards the horizons. The brittle cliff would not give way, for even it was curious. Dare say all of nature reacted for the most prurient reasons. Even the sky descended to watch, with a lightning so furious. She beheld no fear and the sky wept with thunderous applause. Her bare marble-like features glistened in the gleaning of the gloom. Why she stood there, triumphantly, tempting, terror, for what cause? It will never be known, for she never was, in a time before this doom. The earth shook like the hands of a beleaguered, berated old man. It erected monoliths. Volcanoes, pluming molten magma skyward. The red glow brought heat; earth thought to please her, or so was its plan. The elements wrestled for the better view of that beauty stalwart. Never had a sight been so majestically violent, so mightily tame. Where she stood, should and would forever more be a sacred place. The tempest of the elements raged on, though none would win the game. A silence, softly, settled the rambunctiousness, and halted their race. The skies parted with a sad and lowly somberness. Every elated, embittered, element safely put to rest. As the sun swept aside all their postulated, pettiness. Rays of the sun showered her with bright white zest. The lady, she moved with unfathomable grace. She tilted her perfect head up to the skies. With the slightest of a smile shook her face. Like all before, she left them there surprised... and forever, there she stood.
0
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 22, 2016 at 3:21 PM UTC
There She Stood...
Torrents of vapor ridden wind, snatched at her hair. Below, rattled the rapid, riotous and vast, rippling sea. Churning, like a chewing, charming serpent's lair. Once long ago I knew her; with time she left me be. On the edge she was, with will to leap t'wards the horizons. The brittle cliff would not give way, for even it was curious. Dare say all of nature reacted for the most prurient reasons. Even the sky descended to watch, with a lightning so furious. She beheld no fear and the sky wept with thunderous applause. Her bare marble-like features glistened in the gleaning of the gloom. Why she stood there, triumphantly, tempting, terror, for what cause? It will never be known, for she never was, in a time before this doom. The earth shook like the hands of a beleaguered, berated old man. It erected monoliths. Volcanoes, pluming molten magma skyward. The red glow brought heat; earth thought to please her, or so was its plan. The elements wrestled for the better view of that beauty stalwart. Never had a sight been so majestically violent, so mightily tame. Where she stood, should and would forever more be a sacred place. The tempest of the elements raged on, though none would win the game. A silence, softly, settled the rambunctiousness, and halted their race. The skies parted with a sad and lowly somberness. Every elated, embittered, element safely put to rest. As the sun swept aside all their postulated, pettiness. Rays of the sun showered her with bright white zest. The lady, she moved with unfathomable grace. She tilted her perfect head up to the skies. With the slightest of a smile shook her face. Like all before, she left them there surprised... and forever, there she stood.
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28
A man and his brother set on a task An undertaking attempted many times by others To no avail nothing and no one could succeed But their vision was to them possible It seemed that this feat was not meant to be The world told them to quit If God wanted it to be he would have giving you the tools Yet they were undeterred in this goal They toiled and worked They slaved and sweated Failed many times in their task But together they crawled toward their aim One day they finally did it They climbed aboard their creation And started a new era in the modern world Finally these brothers did the impossible Their names were Wilbur and orville wright Stubbornness is perhaps the greatest gift God has given man Those who have it are mocked and berated by their clan Undeterred they continue toward their mission Never swayed by words blinded by their ambition When the dust settles everyone sees The answer to success is this disease More things have been done By unrelenting men seeking the long run Stubbornness may in fact be wrong Alas anyone can see this burden is carried only by the strong
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Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:20 AM UTC
Stubborn
Nightfall, through the door, Bedsprawl, a ritualistic bore. Movements, they're oppressive. Actions, they're aggressive but his eyes, they're depressive. Our synthetic connection and self-hatred is created with projection and misplaced indignation. There is no love in our heads, no lust in our beds. The fear of emasculation and eternal damnation hides all self-loathing with boasting and congruent clothing. My Y was castrated. I'm a ****** from the womb. I'm Female, for unsated gloom  my X is berated. I'm named a disgusting mutation as he projects his deveation onto the population. When his shameful "pride" has diminished, I know our joyless formality has finished. He doesn't sit in the pew, yet he stands in the aisle, locked in a prison of denial. Tough and brisant, trying to be what he isn't. He walks out like a ragdoll, his steps aneurysmal with alcohol. Beside myself, salty tears act as an anaesthetic, the antonym of emotion. An apathetic ocean. I clutch my centre, the daunting tormentor. Impregnation is a STD, an infection, an infestation. Glue for our miseries to undo our joys. Merriment induced torment, fidelity induced gaiety
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Dec 12, 2018
Dec 12, 2018 at 8:03 AM UTC
An (Ex)-Friend of Dorothy.
Nigeria 🇳🇬 A lot has happened to you since 62 You're a year older, and still most of your kin hates you They forget how they may not exist without you Yes! You are on the brink of hell, To say your name has been marred with gutter An act from most of your children You have suffered the injustices of men We hear cries of your children in the North Thousands of hooligans in the South-West There is so much bad blood in the East The Middle Belt doesn't know her role or who to follow Your name has been berated all over the world Your currency, at the brink of death with the stock market Stolen funds for those who can grasp it Banditry for the suffering Masses Illegal mining, yet no one is talking about it You have suffered bickerings from people who want to _Japa_ A fluctuating forex makes it no easier They blame you for their atrocious behaviour They sometimes forget how fertile you are. Nigeria! From East-West and North-South, you have suffered injustices For decades, you have been subject to malicious governance Battling all levels of inflation, subjecting your people to abject poverty Yet the rich get richer, and the poor? More Jejune if you ask. At 63, I want to fight. For your children and kinship Fight for your soil and regain your strength Battle with these injustices and insecurity Bring down inflation and take back your crown Debunk all forms of evil committed with your name And fight for a better 64. Nigeria is great, Nigeria will be great Nigeria is our father's land. Happy Independence Day, Nigeria 🇳🇬 Bellah.
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Oct 1, 2023
Oct 1, 2023 at 3:59 AM UTC
Nigeria at 63
Nigeria 🇳🇬 A lot has happened to you since 62 You're a year older, and still most of your kin hates you They forget how they may not exist without you Yes! You are on the brink of hell, To say your name has been marred with gutter An act from most of your children You have suffered the injustices of men We hear cries of your children in the North Thousands of hooligans in the South-West There is so much bad blood in the East The Middle Belt doesn't know her role or who to follow Your name has been berated all over the world Your currency, at the brink of death with the stock market Stolen funds for those who can grasp it Banditry for the suffering Masses Illegal mining, yet no one is talking about it You have suffered bickerings from people who want to _Japa_ A fluctuating forex makes it no easier They blame you for their atrocious behaviour They sometimes forget how fertile you are. Nigeria! From East-West and North-South, you have suffered injustices For decades, you have been subject to malicious governance Battling all levels of inflation, subjecting your people to abject poverty Yet the rich get richer, and the poor? More Jejune if you ask. At 63, I want to fight. For your children and kinship Fight for your soil and regain your strength Battle with these injustices and insecurity Bring down inflation and take back your crown Debunk all forms of evil committed with your name And fight for a better 64. Nigeria is great, Nigeria will be great Nigeria is our father's land. Happy Independence Day, Nigeria 🇳🇬 Bellah.
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36
*We were both still quite sleepy. She laid her head in my lap in fetal position for most of the ride and I nodded off as the thunder rumbled, and rocked me to sleep, my head lolling to one side. It was miserable out. The sky was a toxic, smoky gray, swollen and bruised purple like rotting flesh, and the rain, so incessant, berated the windshield of the cab the whole ride to the theater and all the while after we had handed a couple crumpled dollars to the driver and gotten in the cue. We had our backstage passes tucked away into our coats, we didn't want any of the regulars to see. She huddled closer to me to guard her ashen lips from the needle ****** of the wind, that would bring a tear to her eye when they scraped against the tip of her nose. She was thinking, as she fingered the strap of the shiny, clean, new camera she bought to photograph us doing ***** things, the lens reflecting all of her good intentions, warm feelings onto me. As a vendor strode by I snagged up two cups of coffee, and handed one to her and then we sank back into the shivering, shuddering mass. She took a few sips, as I drew the flame to my cigarette, ducking behind her and cupping the tip in order to get it lit, I could see the steam dissipating into the cold, wet air. She smiled with amusement and after a few moments looked up and whispered to me "I want him at his best. I hope he's super depressed." I said "Yeah", as I exhaled the smoke and simultaneously, in one heave, cleared my throat, "I hope he ******* hates us."*
0
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012 at 2:46 PM UTC
Upon Arriving to Meet Our Favorite Folk Singer
*We were both still quite sleepy. She laid her head in my lap in fetal position for most of the ride and I nodded off as the thunder rumbled, and rocked me to sleep, my head lolling to one side. It was miserable out. The sky was a toxic, smoky gray, swollen and bruised purple like rotting flesh, and the rain, so incessant, berated the windshield of the cab the whole ride to the theater and all the while after we had handed a couple crumpled dollars to the driver and gotten in the cue. We had our backstage passes tucked away into our coats, we didn't want any of the regulars to see. She huddled closer to me to guard her ashen lips from the needle ****** of the wind, that would bring a tear to her eye when they scraped against the tip of her nose. She was thinking, as she fingered the strap of the shiny, clean, new camera she bought to photograph us doing ***** things, the lens reflecting all of her good intentions, warm feelings onto me. As a vendor strode by I snagged up two cups of coffee, and handed one to her and then we sank back into the shivering, shuddering mass. She took a few sips, as I drew the flame to my cigarette, ducking behind her and cupping the tip in order to get it lit, I could see the steam dissipating into the cold, wet air. She smiled with amusement and after a few moments looked up and whispered to me "I want him at his best. I hope he's super depressed." I said "Yeah", as I exhaled the smoke and simultaneously, in one heave, cleared my throat, "I hope he ******* hates us."*
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45
Cadaverous crotchety gouged out eyes. Scalped trite and malnourished minds. Where am I? What has this land become? My vessel is gutted galled and splayed out upon the enflamed remains of our democracy. I try to embody the equanimity peaceful   qualities of the lulling Gandhi characters before me... But **** I am angry, jolted and saturated in shock in fear. Being an advocate for the people so dismissively marginalized, is what brings substance to my life. I look into the eyes of my mirthful clients and future students, my heart winces. How did I allow this to happen to you?   A man who so boastfully incinerates and debased the citizens of our land with his farcical vitriol, is no man at all but merely an unsightly shrew, cozily cosseted in his world of soot and pooh. The bosky gorgeous land we inhabit sobs in noxious fright. To be despoiled and berated as some "natural right" splintered and tainted to allow the green cash river flow into the dubious maw of the man with no dignity to show. A man who preens such a degenerated mindset is only aptest to a society in shambles. Our global haimish home yearns for the equilibrium from which it was born. In such a seeded tumultuous time my heart is seeped in reverberating sorrow. Let your love and purity coat your vessel, do not let this barbaric man permeate your soul. Hold steadfast to the testament of our land True revolution is budded from a web of genuine connection, not devise brandished weapons. Don't shroud yourself in misery, break free and be prepared to encite love with your authenticity.
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Nov 9, 2016
Nov 9, 2016 at 1:57 AM UTC
Love trumps hate
Cadaverous crotchety gouged out eyes. Scalped trite and malnourished minds. Where am I? What has this land become? My vessel is gutted galled and splayed out upon the enflamed remains of our democracy. I try to embody the equanimity peaceful   qualities of the lulling Gandhi characters before me... But **** I am angry, jolted and saturated in shock in fear. Being an advocate for the people so dismissively marginalized, is what brings substance to my life. I look into the eyes of my mirthful clients and future students, my heart winces. How did I allow this to happen to you?   A man who so boastfully incinerates and debased the citizens of our land with his farcical vitriol, is no man at all but merely an unsightly shrew, cozily cosseted in his world of soot and pooh. The bosky gorgeous land we inhabit sobs in noxious fright. To be despoiled and berated as some "natural right" splintered and tainted to allow the green cash river flow into the dubious maw of the man with no dignity to show. A man who preens such a degenerated mindset is only aptest to a society in shambles. Our global haimish home yearns for the equilibrium from which it was born. In such a seeded tumultuous time my heart is seeped in reverberating sorrow. Let your love and purity coat your vessel, do not let this barbaric man permeate your soul. Hold steadfast to the testament of our land True revolution is budded from a web of genuine connection, not devise brandished weapons. Don't shroud yourself in misery, break free and be prepared to encite love with your authenticity.
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19
If every noble cause, Is mocked by the commoners themselves; If every good inference, Is taunted and berated relentlessly; If all one gets by trying, Is being brought down using the name of almighty himself, Then I don't wanna be good in this world. If every selfless devotion, Is only to be taken granted; If egoistic attention, Is all that deserves love; If love is no more, Than a squabble and a source of hideous pleasures: Then I don't wanna be good in this world. If procurement Has become more important than the heart; If anxiety, Is something people use for diligence; If sympathy and sorrow, And not care And ONLY care Is what one uses for getting love; Then I DONT WANNA BE GOOD IN THIS WORLD.
0
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 29, 2018 at 12:39 PM UTC
Good
Oh, how you ***** me! How you betrayed me! You took away our romance! Berated me,    Degenerated me At every turn of the dance! Now, when you lied, How I did cry. How your mis-deeds turned me out. I tried to forgive, Tried to forget. I tried to figure all this out. Time and again You hurt me so. Everytime you strike with a low blow. Shame comes to me In memories. I try my best to let you go. You live to lie. I wonder why There is no truth inside your heart. Your acridine, Oscillate, shine. You went right through me like a dart. Where were you When I needed someone? You wrecked the soul  of who I used to be. You rocked the loom. And weaved love's tomb. You have been the death of me. This is the time. I know I'll find The strength I need to tell you so. By this night's end, Freedom begins. I know I've got to let you go.
0
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015 at 3:00 PM UTC
To Let You Go
They sent me to a place far away through time and space Deep in the woods where there was nothing safe They told me it would fix me, program me to behave I'll never be able to hide the scars that place gave Locked away, beaten, berated and abused It wasn't until later that it came out on the news Only then was it shown that the horrors were all true It helps to explain why the survivors are so few They set us up for failure; set us up to lose For most of us death was not a hard option to choose I remember when Karlye hanged herself inside A bathroom all alone and the staff left her to die The behavioral modification was nothing more than just a lie In a land with no liberty anything would fly They flashed horrifying images rapidly up on a screen While we listened to audio of tortured souls that screamed Nothing there was ever what it seemed Stuck inside the hell of Spring Creek Lodge Academy Solitary confinement for days on end Watching in horror as they beat your best friend Within an inch of his life, again and again From that day on you didn't want another to begin They broke my mind to pieces in that place But not matter how they tried my soul they couldn't take Others weren't so fortunate; I've been to so many wakes So much pain came from that place it would be impossible to fake I hope this is the result you were looking for When you had two men come in the night and take me out the door I didn't talk to you for months, I came back forever changed Like an animal, self destructive, angry and deranged It didn't program me into the robot you wanted me to be There is a reason over half of my fellow prisoners won't be seen A suicide rate like that is so high I don't blame a single one of them Though you tried to take away their rights, they had the right to die The only question left to answer now is why?
0
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013 at 4:50 PM UTC
Behavioral Modification
They sent me to a place far away through time and space Deep in the woods where there was nothing safe They told me it would fix me, program me to behave I'll never be able to hide the scars that place gave Locked away, beaten, berated and abused It wasn't until later that it came out on the news Only then was it shown that the horrors were all true It helps to explain why the survivors are so few They set us up for failure; set us up to lose For most of us death was not a hard option to choose I remember when Karlye hanged herself inside A bathroom all alone and the staff left her to die The behavioral modification was nothing more than just a lie In a land with no liberty anything would fly They flashed horrifying images rapidly up on a screen While we listened to audio of tortured souls that screamed Nothing there was ever what it seemed Stuck inside the hell of Spring Creek Lodge Academy Solitary confinement for days on end Watching in horror as they beat your best friend Within an inch of his life, again and again From that day on you didn't want another to begin They broke my mind to pieces in that place But not matter how they tried my soul they couldn't take Others weren't so fortunate; I've been to so many wakes So much pain came from that place it would be impossible to fake I hope this is the result you were looking for When you had two men come in the night and take me out the door I didn't talk to you for months, I came back forever changed Like an animal, self destructive, angry and deranged It didn't program me into the robot you wanted me to be There is a reason over half of my fellow prisoners won't be seen A suicide rate like that is so high I don't blame a single one of them Though you tried to take away their rights, they had the right to die The only question left to answer now is why?
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36
I was ten years old when I had my first crush. I didn't think much of it. I just sort of assumed That you should care for your best friend enough That they were the person you wanted to reach for When no one else was there. I assumed that love was the type of thing That you give freely and kindly. But when he was lost to me, Due to moves and my own issues, I held on tight to those feelings, And attempted time and time again to let go. But I never felt anything Since then. No spark of affection, No desire to get to know another In that sense And I faked a lot of things I shouldn't have. I faked affection and I faked caring. I faked being a normal teenager, Because normal teenagers have crushes and think people are cute, And recognize attraction and flirtation and actually want to go to dances And hope that the cute boy will kiss them. I faked it all. Because I never felt a "crush", nor did I find anyone cute, I didn't recognize attraction or flirtation, and I would have rather died than go to a dance. And kissing I found to be disgusting, I would have rather chewed on rocks. I thought I was broken. That I wasn't quite normal. That there was something wrong with me for being so utterly repulsed By *** and the like. And in a vulnerable, broken state, I mistook a bravado of kindness that hid selfish intentions, For a chance to normalize myself again. And I broke further, Through every time I was yelled at, Berated, Controlled. Told not to feel, Not to react Not to respond. For so long, I thought I was broken Because I cannot look at someone and find them anything more than Somewhat aesthetically pleasing (if even that). I cannot look at someone and see any potential Sexually. And upon being with you, And clicking with the conversation, And that first hug, I realized I was not broken. Rather I was a lock, That needed the correct key, But the key had been there All along.
0
Oct 30, 2016
Oct 30, 2016 at 11:58 AM UTC
Mistake or Broken, or Whatever you call it.
I was ten years old when I had my first crush. I didn't think much of it. I just sort of assumed That you should care for your best friend enough That they were the person you wanted to reach for When no one else was there. I assumed that love was the type of thing That you give freely and kindly. But when he was lost to me, Due to moves and my own issues, I held on tight to those feelings, And attempted time and time again to let go. But I never felt anything Since then. No spark of affection, No desire to get to know another In that sense And I faked a lot of things I shouldn't have. I faked affection and I faked caring. I faked being a normal teenager, Because normal teenagers have crushes and think people are cute, And recognize attraction and flirtation and actually want to go to dances And hope that the cute boy will kiss them. I faked it all. Because I never felt a "crush", nor did I find anyone cute, I didn't recognize attraction or flirtation, and I would have rather died than go to a dance. And kissing I found to be disgusting, I would have rather chewed on rocks. I thought I was broken. That I wasn't quite normal. That there was something wrong with me for being so utterly repulsed By *** and the like. And in a vulnerable, broken state, I mistook a bravado of kindness that hid selfish intentions, For a chance to normalize myself again. And I broke further, Through every time I was yelled at, Berated, Controlled. Told not to feel, Not to react Not to respond. For so long, I thought I was broken Because I cannot look at someone and find them anything more than Somewhat aesthetically pleasing (if even that). I cannot look at someone and see any potential Sexually. And upon being with you, And clicking with the conversation, And that first hug, I realized I was not broken. Rather I was a lock, That needed the correct key, But the key had been there All along.
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52
I bore the bruises and screams and shattered inside believing that it was my fault for being battered to resemble a bruised peach, berated to resemble an infected wound. I tried to shield my frightened heart from his prey like stature and sadistic mind; but he was clever, he didn't let his barbaric hatred get in the way instead he repeated the broken promise of love and abused my battered body until I could not take the pain and crumbled into a small bird with no wings.
0
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 2:57 PM UTC
Abuse
I want to write a screen play The story of a life A journey to insanity The weary inner strife The endless days of torture Night's of intense mental pain The wishing you where dead Yet clinging to life's vein When sparks of love afforded To be snatched away in game Each tearing a little deeper Your sanity deranged Their victory proclaimed Like chess played with neurons On a a board that has no squares A three dimensional prison That exists inside your head No solace reached in morning Their tirade begins again Retreating deeper inward You worsen every day Finally a knife edge Stay or walk away Berated for your failure Each and every day Survival is all that matters Clinging to your life Thoughts are so intransient You smile as you cry A hug could simply **** you Your humanity's been lost Others did not see it Nor how you paid the cost So if I wrote a screenplay The story of a life How would I begin or end What words would I write Would you see the meaning And hold me close tonight?
0
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 12:35 PM UTC
Folie à deux
You took away the things I love My bookcase and record player Are dusty but my bed is warm . You blacken already genetically dark circles under my eyes And made me too discouraged To use concealer . You lined things up nice and neat for me in a row to critically craniumly  understand , Then berated me when I couldn't currently conduct myself in front of company . But needed to cope .™
0
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 7, 2014 at 11:32 PM UTC
Work In Progress
They badgered me, berated me. They beat me and they hated me. They seemed to want me to die Too soon, then, so did I. I was different, and that was the reason. Too many saw that as a form of treason. I had to adhere to the boundaries That were set for us artificially They had no reference to reality; More to some kind of elite tyranny. And, I still find it horribly strange That very little has changed. The rules are still very much Incredibly socially out of touch. Strive to be elite or be beaten And ultimately, almost literally eaten By the swarm of mindless fools That go on defending the rules That allow children to be thugs And, come to school to sell drugs; That let the criminals escape And, turn a blind eye to **** And abuse and battering But keep the ******** clattering At PTA, school board and council meetings More concerned with politics Than the real-time subjects Such as kids afraid of attending Because the battlefield is never ending.
0
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 8:18 PM UTC
DING **** SCHOOL