Sometimes I go back to the past
I watch my twiggy legs shake, my hands grip my arms attempting to steady; to comfort
I watch myself form an invisible box around my body; a personal shield
While I begged for forgiveness that I didn’t need
My brain separated my consciousness from reality,
I said it all just like a story,
just like they had taught me
On my knees in front of your bed,
an altar for wrathful gods
I cried and I prayed for forgiveness that I didn’t need
I took all the blame, bared it like a cross
and carried it with me,
You gave me a title, a crown of thorns-
and watched me bleed
And still while I bled, exposed on your cross,
You told me to beg harder, for the innocence I had lost
So I begged for forgiveness that I didn’t need
while he watched under the shade of your palm trees-