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Norman Crane Apr 24
i have a time machine
in my head
a perk
of being human
and not yet being dead
called the default mode network
made by evolution
or by god
it tethers me to my self
in space
and engenders a temporal circumvolution
of my present place
in time
mostly the revolution's fine
but
sometimes
while in the past
i think of all my selfs that didn't last
or that never came to be
and feel a sadness
which presently cannot pass
of all the good that could
but isn't me
which the doctors call depression
and i
my own war of the austrian succession
in which the pain
of each ****** campaign
finally resolves in stalemate
of the brain
of memory and—
it's time to take the pills again:
SNRI
which stands for i no longer want to die
for now
for my dmn takes me away
to a future of everything that could still be
all the possibilities
for death for guilt for shame
is it insane
to forecast each day
a rain
of every way
to fail, and in failing stain
the sky which looms across tomorrow
or at least tomorrow as imagined
by the brain
in permanent gloom
or anxiety, the doctor's say
or weak besieged khartoum
the mahdi pounding on the walls
and we huddled starving in the dark
waiting every day for the end, violently
delayed but inevitable anyway, a massacre
of all
bodies laid one upon the other until they form a hill
their shadow paints me cold—
time for another pill:
SNRI
i no longer want to die
my time machine
my i
my perk of being human
of living and of having not yet died
time for another pill:
time travel
makes
me
ill
Courtney O Nov 2020
A contract with a God I signed
A contract with the wide skies
I was a knot - all tense and *******

And I came happily undone
and it feels this twitch is the toll
Hey you ******! Whoever you are
I am neutering you, I am keeping you down
I'm marching for the Sun
Was it Prometheus or was it God?
I paid the price full for those
hidden magic pills
This is the small penalty for being free
Dystonia - for a perfect fit
On how I feel about my neuroleptic created dystonia.
Veda Laurenski May 2020
History could hold
Clues to the mystery of
The mind and its way.

Take a moment to
Spend time in the memory
Of the day before.
Veda Laurenski Feb 2020
Hypothalamus
Shutting down so we can rest
Sweet R.E.M dreams.
Veda Laurenski Feb 2020
Am I drunk? Or are,
Oxytocin, dopamine
Coursing through my brain?
Veda Laurenski Feb 2020
If Love is only
Some chemicals in my brain,
This brings me comfort

Proof that Love exists,
Does not reduce its meaning,
Just the opposite.
Veda Laurenski Feb 2020
When you talk to me
My Broca’s Area fails
And makes me so dumb
She doesn’t know she’s my future wife yet.
Also, the onion poems are all for her too.
I’m not creepy I promise.
Well, maybe she knows
We talk about our Advanced Care Directives a lot.
****** lesbians.
Veda Laurenski Feb 2020
When I look at you
My Occipital Lobe makes
My pupils dilate
Z May 2014
The parasympathetic nervous system
is responsible for regulations
unconsciously transpiring
within the organs and
the glands of
the body.
Such as:
urination, salivation, digestion, defecation, and
lacrimation
(noun. ‘the flow of tears’. Latin.
from lacrimare (‘weep’) and lacrima (‘tear’).
It’s why I cry
even when I don’t want to.
You are the parasympathetic nervous system.

The (ortho-)sympathetic nervous system
is responsible for the mobilization
of the fight-or-flight response
and constantly maintaining
homeostasis within
the body.
It acts
rapidly, enacting an attempt at stability and
the necessary and critical ability
to suddenly escape
on pulsing legs or
cling to survival through
brandishing adrenaline-doused knuckles
and dilated pupils.
It’s why you live
even when you don’t want to.
I am the sympathetic nervous system.

The parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems
are two of three essential nervous systems which
compose the autonomic nervous system
(a part of the peripheral
nervous system)
that manages
involuntary
functions of the body. Such as:
swallowing, perspiration, arousal, breathing, and
heart rate
(noun. ‘the speed of the heartbeat’.
usually expressed in beats per minute. mine speeds up when I see you).
Individually these two systems oppose
but compliment
each other like our hands do—
pressed together and omitting equal force;
veins meeting
at the fingertips and throbbing at the wrists
but running amuck on our respective digits otherwise.
You are the invariable and unspoken reminder to
breath,
love,
sweat,
and live.
I am the sudden snap of reality always aiming to save you
but grudgingly willing to fight you and
ready
to
leave.

From the deepest lower half of my brainstem
and from every nerve
in my cycling body,
I’m sorry.
From all of my chromaffin cells
and from the truest parts of submandibular ganglian,

I am sorry.

— The End —