She is unshakeable as she carries her kingdom,
Widowed shoulders gracefully bearing its weight

A tempestuous force brings the towers crashing down around her
Fires flare in every corner and she is trapped but does not care
Brick by brick, she is undone

She is infected with love,
Given over to the sickening appetite
That consumes promises and offers emptiness

She is used up and tossed aside in the name of fate
Her fate - to die by her own hand
Alone

And the tempest continues its raging path

I crouch under the covers
Reluctant to come into the harsh light
The cat's tongue rasps on my hand
The jarring alarm chants and honks his tune

I stumble and stub my toe
Leftover wrapping paper cracks under me
Stale smells sulk and bite the air
Cookie crumbs left from last night's massacre

I grit my teeth when the bell clangs
Cold snaps at my nose when the door opens
Too many people enter
I really hate the day after Christmas

i can't believe i have to ******* leave you
i wanna cancel all my plans and stick to you like a fly on the wall
listening for words that mean you'll miss me as much as i know i'll miss you
so i make private playlists and cry on sundays and just hope that i make you fall in love with me before september comes

tell my why i still miss you
why it's been months since you held me
and i still can't help tearing myself apart
every night
searching for whatever you saw in me
that you ran away from

tell me why i still want you
why i can't help remembering
your hands on me
holding; sweetly, possessively
resting my head on your shoulder
and you leaning yours on mine

i thought we fit like that
tell me why we don't

a presence
called God, spirit, mother nature,
the universe, fate, karma
in the earth or creating it
some believe they are all one
some believe in only one
some believe in none
that we float aimlessly, hopelessly
our course uninterrupted and without destination
those who believe are visitors here
leaving an imprint, but not a footprint
they act like magnets,
attracting those with open hearts
sometimes i think we are all the same pole
and their faith
repels me

if my mirror could talk,
she'd tell me I'm here too much
and she would be right

rotted and fresh,
leaves fused together
by mud slip.
mottled carpet

open your eyes wide, i'll slip through the blue crystal windows
and hug your headache until you’re comfortable.
loosen your brain, love, let me carve a seat in your skull.
i’ll comb all the knots out and knit you back up.
unlock your ribcage, let me into that ice chest.
i’ll brighten your dark rooms with glowing red lights,  
nearly hot enough to burn through skin.
take off your t-shirt, i’ll sharpen your shoulders
to protect you from the harvesters who take your tender organs.
up the throat, behind the mouth, i’ll climb out, close your eyes.  
you’ll never know i was here.

I can't think of anything, once again
The bottleneck in my brain dilutes every scheme
I close the book, then count to ten
The idea slips off the precipice and I could scream

two knees touch the floor
two hands clasp, fingers bleed white
her hopeless prayer begins
all the words escape from her
and she begs them to return
heartbeat stops, caught on a
rending sob
the prayer drawn from her throat
like a string pulled skyward, it's fate obscured
behind the blackened moon

you've seen me
at my best
you've seen me
at my worst
you've seen
what I've gained
you've seen
what I lost
losing a friend didn't matter as much as
losing myself
and then I found both
*at the same time

my soul is like a basement
you don't see the rats
until they're scared out hiding
but they've been there all along

When I was young
I wanted a canopy bed
They say seeing is believing but
I thought that not seeing was the same as
Believing you were safe

When I was young
I feared house fires and
Losing my mom in the aisles
But now I know she'd always come back to find me
No matter the flame

I'm blind on the way home
All I see are glowing golden arrows
All I hear are growling stomachs
All I feel are these growing pains
I pause on the way home
Only turn on when my ears are covered
This is over, this is over

When I was young
I searched for people like me
But it was impossible when I didn't know myself
Now I've collected a few
Enough for my two narrow hands to hold

When I was young
We took family pictures
Now there's vacancies
And I've learned that growing up is
Skipping changes and missing birthdays

I'm blind on the way home
All I see are glowing golden arrows
All I hear are growling stomachs
All I feel are these growing pains
I pause on the way home
Only turn on when my ears are covered
This is over, this is over

We are over, this is over