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Ryan Dec 2015
Connections laced on a thin fibre of hair, diminishing,
a once felt happiness fades away like waves,
a true passion inside, fire burning, unfinishing.

Honesty buried deep within the dirt of earth,
scarse to find a willing person to bare thier soul,
thier subconscious awareness searches for thier worth.

Mazed thoughts unable to reach the end,
a complex puzzle, an uncrackable safe,
a decadent direction of a willing faith.

A stressful peace unheard off,
like a light to a moth, a frail confused mind.
a seared picture on a glazed eyelense,
Unable to let go of such inadequate thoughts.
doesnt even make sense really
Ryan Mar 2016
A Singularity,
we are irregular anomalies.
Through the black hole,
we create our own dimensions.
Ryan Jan 2016
Tapping and typing,
the thoughts in my head.
But nothing compares to words that are said.
I love writing, but I still feel that nothing can show how much you care, have passion or love about something or someone without the words being spoken in the way that you feel, with every emotion in your voice blending into the words that you speak.
Ryan Feb 2016
A blank dictionary
I am exhausted of words.
Left with pages bare,
unable to articulate.
But to say it simply,
I miss you.
Ryan Feb 2016
Care too much and you'll be broken
**Care too little and you'll become cold
I guess its a thin line between the two.
Ryan Mar 2016
The brittle air of night freezes my lungs to solid ice,
I am left with just a gasp of air to hold on to.
I can feel my brain crystallize into thin ice sickles
the numbness forms an impenetrable shell.
I wait silently in darkness for the warmth to return
and free me from my cold pressed shackles.
Ryan Feb 2016
Worlds collide,
the tectonic plates crash in chaos.
Shattered hearts and minds,
left in the deep dark.
Wading through black smoke,
corrupted lungs thick in tar.
Fighting together through madness,
the only hope they have left.
Ryan Jul 2016
Late night thinking imposed on my mind
confused left bare, completely undefined.
Deep terrors of the mind latching on to me,
fiery feet, fighting to be free, but I'm blind
as I try to see.
The devils persona posses my soul,
I paint my plan as I try to gain control.
A peaceful pilgrimage through hell itself,
the layed out path cursed with false wealth.
Condemned to walk alone down the path
of madness, In hope at the end I can leave
this sadness.
not myself lately... trying to pull myself out, but things seem to punch me back down the hole as I just start to climb out...conflicted and confused.I need to be better than this but so tired.
Ryan Mar 2016
Space and time ripped,
awe inspired eyes watch on as they accept their impending doom with graceful hearts.
for a moment time stops...
those left in their last moments turn to share love in its purest form
life and death are left as constructs compared to cosmic love.
life is strange?
Ryan Feb 2016
Nauseously numb,
in an energetic emptiness.
Broken and unbroken
imperfect in balance.
Sailing in the seas of love
as a relentless storms rages.
Devils dance on deck,
While angels play the harp.
Ancient anchors too rusty,
We sink to the deep blue depths.
Drowning in our own demise,
trying desperately to stay afloat.
Ryan Jan 2016
Frightened to be fractured,
gentle genetic structure,
overwhelmed by emotional power,
rational thoughts seize to exist.

Armor coated armadillo,
left with no love,
crashing over tall spiked hurdles,
left crawling inch by inch.

Faithfully loyal and humble,
innocently in confusion,
Drifting along to find his way,
his love is a vast infinity to explore.
Ryan Nov 2015
Constant debris within my mind,
most of which I cannot seem to define.

Medusa's stare turns my heart to stone,
How long will I have to stay alone.

Emotions locked up within a volcanic core,
It rages with an englufing fire,
It waits to see what I truly desire.

My thoughts collide within the cataclysm of space,
endless blackness I see, should I
hold back, should I embrace.

This questions that bombard my conscious being,
a code that I cannot crack,
or see with my own eyes for this is truly my disguise.
Ryan Sep 2016
Bristles brush together,
As wind softly blows
I am jealous of the touch they feel

A wondering mind,
Full of Love, left alone in waiting.
It's hard to let go
But not let go of love.
Missing you is natural to me,
My caring concrete
Cemented into my soul.
Full of anticipation, anxiety
But I've learned to gain control
Tired of this dull feeling
I felt the time to change

So much do I wonder about you
Your feeling, your thoughts
You feel so far, yet so near
Untold adventures left in fog
Wondering if one day it might clear
So much left understood
I feel determined to see you again
But I feel the distance you keep
And I wish it wasn't so
Ryan Jan 2016
False paranoia I must learn to control,
spilting splinters placed within my mind.
Trying to latch on to every postive thought
creating a safe place for me to wonder.
But still smoked in illusion,
persuaded of problems that never existed.
Vicious trickster to myself,
convinced that something has to be wrong.
It made me blind to the problems that burden you,
not thinking twice of the things your going through.
Turning positivity into false negativity,
I can only offer my sincerest apologies.
Hoping my words can be enough,
for you to forgive my madness,
for us to talk again.
I want to be there for you,
For us to understand each other
creating an everlasting pocket of happiness.
For us to be able to talk about anything that troubles us,
to be there for one another when nobody else is around.
I wish not to ask to too much of you,
I wish not to control you,
I just long for your presence,
because I feel empty without it.
Ryan Feb 2016
Society fails to identify its flaws,
happily leaving those in need behind.
Corrupted madness runs our lives,
we let fools be fools, as we turn a blind eye.
We fail to see past our delusions,
telling ourselves that everything is ok,
but its not ok, nothing is 'fine'.
Censored from our own Emotions,
Don't cry you'll be ok,
everything will work out,
once you meld into the norm.
We are left to wade through ******* while
brave souls are left to fight alone in their minds,
poisoned by the toxic gas of a broken system.
Can we just stop for one ******* second,
to look in the mirror,
and ask why....

Why is nothing changing?
I'm tired of seeing people have to go through hard times. I know its a part of life, but why should it be? And why should people have to feel like they are alone, it's *******.
Ryan Dec 2015
Gaze up at the sky,
wonders left in solitary.
Yet eyes connect,
sharing a mutual feeling.
A shimmering darkness,
so graceful in existence.
Purity perplexed,
left still in isolation.
sometimes taking time to gaze up into the night sky and console with thoughts can present such blissful beauty.
Ryan Mar 2016
It would be easier to not have an identity because then you are not subjected to be judged or labelled by flawed categorizations of society.
eh
Ryan Aug 2016
reading over the thoughts left behind
now I see my confused state of mind

An imaginary problem
I shoved on you to solve
when it reality,
it's what caused us to dissolve

tormented by the
produce of our age
images seared
I try to leave them backstage

too thirsty for flesh
I am permanently starved
my primitive hunger
my own Jekyll and Hyde
not sure if I even understand what I'm saying here, but I guess it makes it kinda makes sense that way
Ryan Jul 2016
Caught in a concoction of insanity
on the edge of reality madness jousts with sanity.
On one side taunted with a blackened stare,
Far over forms a light from a whispered prayer.
Isolated entities await the clash of spears,
while both riders rest among their fears.



.
war within the mind
Ryan Sep 2016
So much darkness bestowed upon you, cruel
Wide eyed demons, full of wicked schemes
But you are no fool, nor are you weak
Deviance cannot last
As Darkness becomes light
Look to the leaves and the calmness of the trees
Look to the sun and the beauty that it be
See that nature is you and you are it
Keep strong like the bark, as you have done
See the light deep inside,
Forever has it been
And Never has it left
Ryan Jan 2016
These feelings won't fade,
its too deep and sincre.
It doesn't make sense,
I know this.
Too much do I look to the sky,
wondering if you ever look back.
How I wish things were simpler,
doesn't everyone.
Still confused, convinced I did something
wrong, somehow.
Maybe what I thought never exsisted?
I guess I should focus on my life now,
But I don't know how or where to start.
I have such much passion to give to life,
I just don't know whether I can do it alone.
Don't think iv'e ever been this lost, my feelings are going to consume me soon. trying to be positive but idk feels so fake.
Ryan Feb 2016
It plays out like a violin,
vibrations back and forth on string,
fragile and thin.
It can rattle the soul in pain,
or soothe it into gentle peace.
Love is like a violin.
Ryan Jan 2016
Magnetic feelings with the might of gravity,
visceral caring, deep and unbounded.
My body charged with pulsating energies,
excitement everytime we exchange words.
A brief moment the moon bonds our souls
Far distance between us, yet so connected.
Always learning from one another,
open minds and open hearts in convosation.
A touch not yet felt within the physical realms,
the only feeling that we are yet to share.
I Look beyond your astonishing graceful beauty,
to find a soul of intriguing purity.
I hope that this emotion can last forever,
for I would fade away without it.
Ryan Jan 2016
Eyes of pure radiance, a universe born within.
A voice of eligiance that soothes the soul.
A laugh that emits happiness in all directions.
Emotions so innocently fragile, but pure.
Strong willed to have endured such pain.
Every common intrest sparked excitement.
Soo much more to discover about you, lost.
Deep, sincre feelings, they won't fade.
I must move on before it consumes me,
move on but not forget, I won't,  I choose
not to.  I am glad you found happiness,
now I must search for mine, wherever it
may lie.
trying to let go, move on, but not to forgot.
Ryan Aug 2016
into the deep blackness,
we descend with closed eyes.
Yet we dance in delight
as vast worlds tease us in a haze..
snapshots roll through our eyes
as we blast through
deep caverns of the mind.
we watch on,
as our subconscious perform its play.
Ryan Jan 2016
No love will be lost,
for love is a gift.
Although love can fade,
it will always exist.
Although pain will be caused,
no love will be lost.
We would gladly risk it all
whatever the cost.
And so the illusion of pain
has no grasp on us.
It will fade into dust
and be left to discuss.
For love is to mighty,
with one hell of a wrath.
For it will come and go,
as it blesses those in its path.
Ryan Sep 2016
Past and future just an illusion
Only now is forever
Vivid images in reconstruction
Memories fragmented
Our mind
The bank of riches
Growing in wealth
But robbed by despair
Ryan Jan 2016
Fragile rock left floating through,
it sways to and fro,
among-st the abyss of the universe.
Shimmering dots paint pictures in our sky's,
visionary imaginations of what might lie beyond.
But Before we venture out,
we must repair what we have.
Tilting on the scales of life,
we hang steady in the balance.
Ryan May 2016
Perfect Passion reignited at last,
My heart beats ton fold, so fast.
As I stared into your eyes the world
around us stopped.
Not for a moment was my gaze upon on you
dropped.
Grateful for every moment, I was blessed to
be with you.
Ryan Jan 2016
Strong beating heart left quiet inside,
banished into confinement, unwanted.
Seeping at the seams, ready to burst,
unconditional love in good faith.
Tricking rain running down my neck,
the closet touch that I'll ever get.
Dancing with desire, eligant steps,
thunderous passion yet to be ignited.
Heated sensations left to be teased,
an unquenched thirst unsatisfyed.
Ryan Jan 2016
Sweat drips down my face,
as I run and confront my thoughts.
I come to a realization of how I
shouldn't overthink things.
Chasing my own thoughts,
when they should be chasing me.
Creating problems in my mind
when I should be free.
but I'm past it now and have found
a way to deal with it.
So when the time comes I can fix
anything that may be broken.
Because isn't that the purpose
of being the best you.
understanding and helping others
is what everyone needs to do.
I was running today and got a real calm feeling this basically that. I realized sometimes I'm more selfish than I think and that I need understand others more.
Ryan Aug 2016
half the time reality feels like a dream
or maybe I just wish it was.
Ryan Jun 2016
Wondering though the same place
I am reminded of you.
Here you energy lingers,
hand in hand where we locked our fingers.
The photos you took, frozen moments in time
when I was around you everything felt just fine.
The calmest feelings I can't explain,
I miss every moment with you, I just can't refrain.
Enduring torture as I patiently wait
we'll see what's round the corner, I know it'll be great.
Ryan Aug 2016
Laced sunbeams though the
cool breeze and swaying winds..

Kiss me on the cheek once more,
let me take your hand as we
run through dark streets and
bright lights

As we gaze into each others eyes
we know we must part ways
Let us kiss once more..
Let our souls bond into eternity,
overflowing with energy beyond
our existence

wishing we'd connect once again
to forge moments to last.
some memories you want to be clearer come in snippets as if in dreams..
Ryan Jan 2016
Battered bones left scared through battle,
oozing with blood in a painful brutality.
Wondering through limbo,
silent suffering.
Frozen in torture,
an unfathomable loss.
Fingernails disintegrate in dirt,
grasping with an invisible grip.
Pure hatred within his eyes,
seeking a premature revenge.
No intentions of failure,
obsessive determination.
Into the breach once more,
to chase his just cause.
I saw a film called the revenant tonight. I'm not sure why it affected me so much but the visuals were stunning. So this is inspired but that :)
Ryan Aug 2016
L O V E ☺                                        ***? (na soz m8)                                      
    H O P E       
                                          fooood
understanding    
  Calm  Chilling       ­                                              too much?
                                         Decisions - not made

                Care ✓                                                            Trus­t  (✕ +✓)
                                     
                 ­                        Overthinking, this one can be a benefit sometimes
but generally it's pretty shiat, I guess it all comes down to what the subject of thinking is.

                                                            ­                              (A N X I E T Y)           
                                                   ­                                                 (F E A R)
                                                              ­                                      (P A I N)



wonder what its like to be in space?
I have idea what I was trying to do here lol
Ryan Jan 2016
My head in riddles,
poisonous snakes latch onto every thought,
every feeling, leeching out every essense of
purity until I'm left dry in thrist.

I feel the pressure of the acids pulsating through
every nerve of my living body, slowly torturing,
paralyzing me from the inside out.

But I can still feel the dim flicker of light,
the one feeling, the strongest of them all,
hidden the deep in the caverns of my exsistence.
I will crawl with my fingernails, with every
last breath to reach this light.
I will bleed before I allow myself to become
paraslysed into darkness.

These devious creeping shadows will be cast out,
the abundance of light will take over, I will be free.
I am ready to step into self liberation.
Ryan Apr 2018
Once more to far
over the seas
wreckage lays waste
from sunken ships ashore
my guarded heart
treads those waters lightly

Virtual love through screens
what could it be?
expectations left dry
jealously yet again
made broken bonds

Promises left dry
and you went
into another love
goodbye for now

Here I am once more
in a shadow of love
Ryan Feb 2016
Cut and bruised,
from the shrapnel I left behind.
Solitary confinement,
alone in a bleak silence.
Trying to break a titanium safe,
wondering of secrets that lay.
Shunned away,
left to rot in my own madness.
so frustrated with myself.
Ryan Feb 2016
Clouds at soaring heights,
If only I was as high as them.
Fluffy whiteness in heavenly blue skies,
drifting through the storms of night.
Above the horizon the wind is calm,
peace just inches from desolate space.
The sun's powerful brightness is blinding,
its sweet beams carry a gentle warmth.
How is it I can relate so much,
to this simple sky.
Is it weird to relate to clouds ? :/
Ryan Jan 2016
wonder down the street
eyes stay fixed
whislt I observe each detail
everyone somewhere to be
can't everything slow down
for just one moment
but I get it I do
were in an unadaptable society
told to go along with the norm
told to conform
it doesnt feel right
we drift through life
with hidden ambition
with hidden dreams
stuck in routines
hoping that life will be differen't
to see a improved world
we have to be patient
it will come in time
change is inevitable
This was more out of frustation than anything, understand that I know certain things are easier said than done and that there are many people will less than we have, but even then we are still not satisfyed.
Ryan Jan 2016
I don't know how to help myself,
where do I even start?
I could write paragraphs of words,
enough to fill miles of the open world.
but these words don't help to change,
they only help to vent out thoughts.
When will the real change happen?
there is so much to see and do...
yet it feels pointless on my own.
I can't seem to grasp it,
repeating routines, how can anyone be satisfied.
I need to meet more people,
I dont know where to start, where to go...
Just completely stuck.
Ryan Nov 2015
In a void of deep depression for too long,
same sad songs on repeat I know my hearts gone.

Stuck inside i'm a prison to myself,
confined to restraints, this invisble strait-jacket
maybe I should just hit the hammer, nail in the casket.

But after all these negative thoughts, you learn one thing,
everyone goes through hard times, its a part of lifes sting.

You have to learn to scale darknesses cutting egded claws,
learn to live with yourself, we all have flaws.

Once you hold a deep trust within your soul,
the universe will move out of your way, you become whole.
And in the grand scheme of things all problems are null.
Ryan Feb 2016
Formed in the furnace
of colliding matter,
from colorful dust we arose.
Our journey is timeless
and complex to the core.
Yet we bravely stand bold,
as we venture into the unknown.
Gifted with love and given
strength by connections.
Our Existence in itself,
a miracle to behold.
For anyone feeling worthless, your existence is so precious. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Ryan Jul 2017
one step foward,
one step back
the never ending cycle
of the unknowing
Like wind
drifting calmly
without direction
yet flowing
accepting the way
only what is,
will be
Ryan Jan 2016
Thrown into the the abyss of life,
without no training, no way to suffice.
Were told to go along with the norm,
but we have no patience to be conformed.
But were bold hanging on by thread,
as it passes through us without any dread.
I know that everything is hard to contain
but don't be fooled, just please restrain.
There are many things that will come to pass
but its not these things that are going to last.
Impossible things that seem out of reach,
will leave you wise and left to teach.
not sure if its ok to put a song name here, but I wrote this while listening to it, Kiasmos - thrown was the song.
Ryan Dec 2015
If gusts should be on a foreboding night,
lay down upon the cremated ground.
Do not be fooled by a world without light,
for these shadows may consume thee.
Check ever corner that shall pass,
for deviance will not be held back here.
Encountered illusions shatter like glass,
do not let these foul creatures consume thee.
Thy heart is strong and filled with courage,
for this will shatter such opressive power.
Belief in ones self is the highest knowlegde,
these creatures cannot consume thee, for thou
can only consume thy self.
Ryan Sep 2016
The world is black and white
Until you paint it with colour
Ryan Mar 2016
Above the surface
glorious souls glisten in star light
no corruption can infect such purity.
Meanwhile in a dark world beneath
innocent minds are suffocated by the black smoke
left in torture without a cure to madness.
Ryan Aug 2016
Deep in eyes of torment
inside lies a cosmic nebula
a battered core, unstable
a flickering mind, disrupted grace
struck by awe inspiring eyes
the paradoxical wave of beauty
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