Can I hug you?
Just one hug.

A tight
Bone breaking
Warm
I am never letting go
kind of hug.

Just one hug.

I caught a cold
from your words.

So chilled.

Feeling so sick and tired of
Feeling sick and tired of
Being so sick and tired.

I am waiting
till we turn 30.

When emotions no longer reckless
we seek stability and comfort.

I am waiting
till we unnumb.

When temptations no longer ******
we crave for family and assurance.

I am waiting
till you see

I am waiting.

Guard down
Barrier destroyed
Fence torn

Vulnerable
Sensitive
Loving

Guard on
Barrier up
Fence walled

Strong
Rational
Cold

I hope you feel safer this way.
But I hope more,

That you're happy.

You and your morals
get to me.

I thought maybe you would be softened
by my secretly seductive scent,
the way I work my curves,
how I voice your name.

I was wishing
your will might switch off that little song
which is telling you this is all wrong.

I hope that you fall back on me.
Just let yourself go,
Immerse in my sweet nothings,
as our noses rubbed gently.

Let me do everything to you
and leave regrets to tomorrow
leave guilt to old age.

But no.
you're Moral.

And that's what I love about you.

I can give you space to breathe,
Ample space.

I can space out those memories,
Diligently space.

I can create a space for us,
Special space.

I hope you leave a space for me too,
In your future.

I stalk you
Everyday.

I look through photos,
videos,
tweets,
statuses.

As if,
         As if,
                  As if,

They can bring us back to where we were.

But they can't.
And all that I can do is

Stalk.

It's weird
how I remember your legs,
the curvage of it and
sparseness it feels, including the
colour tone of it.

It's sweet
how I remember your smile
the one which made your eyes
gleeful as you
parted my bangs lightly.

It's sad
how I remember your texts
those with hurtful but truthful
words which reject yet
lingered with your concern.

It's helpless
how I remember the look
you gave as you incidentally
glanced over, only to hope
that you didn't.

It's painful
how I remember your back
as you turned, after delivering
your last look of longing as if you
wished for more but logic disapproved.

It's bright
how I remember the future
as we used to describe, it is still
bright
to me and my hopeless heart.

You're far far away
Not miles away
But fair enough.

Because the distance of heart
is not calculated by miles.
It's by Time.

They say time flies
But my time crawls.

Time seems to be on slow motion
When I don't have you as momentum.

All I can do is
Wait.

what do i do?
with this love i do not deserve.

should one seek to love ferociously
or to shamelessly accepts inequitable love?

is it more important to love
or to be loved
if they were to be mutually exclusive.

i chose the latter, selfishly.

i realised my love only
hurt you,
when i stopped one day.

Your smell lingered in my clothing's
It's just detergent
But your detergent.

I smelt in my hair
On my fingertips
and I recognise it.

I supposed it will be forgotten soon,
for its just detergent.

How clean is this detergent,
if it's not washing your shadows away?

It can be determination
but if it leads to manipulation,
It is already exploitation.

It can be coincidental
but if it becomes incidental,
It is no longer accidental.

It can be impressive
but if it forces people to be submissive,
It is being oppressive.

It can be thoughtful
but if it is just going to be playful,
It is then not purposeful.

It can be everything
but if it is not leading to something,
It is eventually nothing.

I found your clone.

Someone who smiles like you,
put arms around me like you,
love like you,
cries like you.

But as long as I can't find something
he does better than you.

He is a clone,
And you are still you.

Time heals
Because it allows memories to fade
Feelings to dilute
Determination to weaken.

But

Time proves
Because love will strengthen
Longings will last
Perseverance will churn.

And at the end of the day,
I will still be into you.

You didn't **** me,
Not literally.

Figuratively-
You stab me deep,
left me to bleed,
scarred from weep.

Emotionally-
You left my heart voided,
it couldn't be avoided,
Abandoned and unaided.

Mentally-
You chose to pursue,
things which were untrue,
I had no rights to sue.

You didn't **** me,
Not literally.

Not yet.