Tremble to the cause
Far planes in my heart on pause
Lost to time and to the pain
My eyes stricken
From staring into the rain
Drip drop, I'm the sinking ship
Down into the water
I'll take a dip
And a taste of my regret
The table is set
I'm the main course
Served to my demons as
Remorse

"I hate everyone, you just have to prove yourself otherwise."

I'm cold
I'm weak
I'm alone
I'm sad
You're **perfect

Apparently I sat in the devil's lap
Simple and lame
But it was disguised in your name

I remember when I needed a ear
Not one came near
So I became strong
To listen to you, when you think you're in the wrong.

My hand shakes gripping the quill
Shaping and warping words at will
The ink is the blood of my heart
for it is where the fire for my poems start

I cut and carve my life in rhyme
blotched on the paper trapped in time
Life Death Loss and Love
Spilling and splashing to the paper, all of the above

The heart dances as the fire rages
The quill scratches and drips as words come alive off the pages
Throwing you into the realm of my mind
You will exit leaving nothing behind

For poetry is a passion
I am not of any fashion
I merely feed the fire
That my heart will forever desire.

For every poem you read
Is what my heart is willing to bleed

My legacy will be the blotched ink on these papers.

It's amazing how I can show myself to the world,
without the fear of being hurt.

I ponder my life
as I sit at my desk
My pen the knife
The paper the bread

To feed my mind
what is needs
but my hand is in a bind
I can't seem to move

I need to write these words
A blank letter
Open window singing of the birds
Paper so bright white

These words I must cut
onto the paper
climb out of this rut
onto the paper

I carve

'I Love You'

But the person it is too
is someone I do not know
for they have changed into someone new

Once more I ponder my life

My pen the knife...

It's scary how words can make your heart feel everything.

"Waiting for the day, you stop hunting men like prey."

"There's so much I have to say, but maybe another day"

A Soldiers worst nightmare, is death by his own hand.

Actions speak louder than words,
You wonder why I'm speechless.

Some say words can't hurt me
For those there is something you don't see
That words are communication
and can leave emotional laceration

They can decimate who you are
Either in your face or from afar
Words can be picked and chosen
To become a deadly poison

Don't underestimate the pen
Because the time you do is when
You will face the fire
That can only get hotter and higher

I figured out why it hurt
Why it lacerated me so deeply
Why my world couldn't convert
From the view of me.
You knew what your world had,
Friends, family a home.
While my world was oh quite sad,
Filled with anguish and more of a dome.
A shell that only surrounded me
Leaving me to my world to see

The reason it hurt so bad,
Because in your world,
I was just another cast in your shadows.
In mine, was you, for in which I would go to the gallows.

Sunset in my heart
But I'm the dying light
To come apart
And take flight

Into my dreams
Of a fake life
With gold streams
On a bronze knife

I'm a zombie
I'm a ghost
I'm dead to me
I'm not the Host

I regret a decision I have made
In these consequences I will wade
She gone now without a thought
Thinking of all the battles we fought

The thing is we are only human
We made decision on what we feel within
Sometimes they are good sometimes they are bad
This one was terrible, and I'm missing what I had.

That night I did not sleep
All I did was profusely weep
I realized what I had lost
and now I suffer the cost

When you left you took my words
You took my heart
I no longer hear the birds
I sit alone in darkness bitter and ****

I regret what I have done
Can you forgive me and admit you won
You blocked major contact
so how is my daughter? but I can't get that fact

I love you with no doubt
You are what living was about
I cry and your name I shout
but my voice has gone out

Please forgive this choice
I need to hear your voice
And to feel your touch
I can't stand this reality, I miss you too  much

I remember how this feels
All of myself simply kneels
To recover from lost time
That's why I write in rhyme
Such a cliche write
But I will do what is right
It's time to focus one me
Hmm what to be
Should I just party
Or go to college and be tardy
Hungover from a night of words
Not to sing, chose the birds
I'll pick myself up from the dirt
Or this will just continue to hurt

In the darkest of times, memories light up the darkness.

It's hard to forget the past
When it takes away something
That I felt was meant to last

So I'll wait for my phone to ring
No line and hook to be cast
We'll see what time will bring

Here I am again
With paper and a pen
To simply think back to when
We dove into the lions den
Why aren't we amongst the flowers
Helping ourselves grow and discover our powers
But we took on the embrace of being villain
Your thoughts got ahead of you but you were willin
To lie and manipulate
Which gave room for my anger to demonstrate
Where did all the good time go?
Honestly, we'll never know
So back to my poetry I turn to face
To write out all my anguish and disgrace

Don't let your halo become the noose that chokes you.

If there's anything that you should know
Is that I never really wanted to go
I would have used myself whole
To help you, that's the goal

Then there would be nothing left of me
So, I had to leave you see
There just wasn't enough for you
I ran out and didn't know what to do

To come up with more pieces
I made deals with Demons like car leases
To full fill your needs
Responding caringly to every plead

The cost was my happiness
That made me a mess
I never got a chance to be alone
Away from you or my phone

I buried every anger and every sadness
Which lead to my madness
You never paid no mind to me
I can do this can't you see!

I was left in the dust
You were steel and I was just the rust
You only know what what I spoke
Or that too I make a joke

You never asked about my heart
So that's why I left, because I fell apart.

What do you do
When a loved one comes to you
With a glock in hand
With a simple demand

Save  me

You get locked in place
Your heart furiouos beginning to race
The numbing of your mind
You close your eyes hoping you can rewind

Their hands around cold steel
Their life it wants to steal
They shake in fear
But the end goal is clear

What do you do when they scream

SAVE  ME

This is where I failed
My thoughts were jailed
All I could do was speak with my eyes
Which brought on my demise

Hovering over the lifeless
Crimson painted in a slant
For my eyes spoke,

I  *Can't

I was saved by myself when I wanted to die.

Some of the most scarred hearts create the deepest poems

I pick my scabs and wonder why I keep remembering

I can't just simply love
Simple words mean nothing appealing
When there is an absolute depth
To how I am really feeling

I love you like the first bloom in Spring
The singing of birds
The chatter of the bugs
I love you like picnic hugs

I love you like Summer's first heat
The blazing sun and a giant pool
The sweet repeat
The charcoal grill with searing meat

I love you like the first fallen leaf of Fall
You are the crunch of the leaves beneath my toes
You are the blanket
You are the first chill breeze that tickles my nose

I love you like the first Winter snowfall
Pure white, with footprint flaws
You are the snowflake upon my finger
Unique among them all, but here with me you've come to fall

To fall with you is what I'll do
I don't love in simplicity
I love in pictures and feelings
This is just a glimpse of what you mean to me

I have run out of thread to stitch my wounds.

You** say your life is a fallacy
Let me guide you to what you need to see
That you are who you want to be
Not what comes out of society

Follow where your heart will aim
And take what it wants to claim
You will then realize that this reality
Does not make your life another fatality

You have to reach for dreams
no matter how endless it seems
to that when you cross that line
you will realize that you are fine

That this place is not too tough
It's you making it so rough
I think you just need to explore
into yourself a little more

Share yourself piece by piece
You will feel the restraints release
So that you can finally be alive
and into your life you can dive

Do not be afraid
because the road you must follow, your heart already laid.

My soul was my home and she was the arsonist.

How many times must I give you breath
Giving you my life to avoid death.
In your heart and mind
You're choking out, with darkness you find.
You suffocate on your pasts toxin
Heart heavy, head down, you're boxed in.
I'm always here to help you in need
Why can't you hear my own plead?
I'm a mess from head to toe
I've told you, how do you not know?
That I'm broken not knowing what to do
Because it was my pieces that I used to help you.

My mind is calm and clear
I don't have anything to hear
Just the warmth on my back
My demons don't give me flack
Thirty minutes of peace in mind
Slowly fading as the gears grind
For a moment I am not depressed or sad
I'm not overwhelmed or mad
Just satisfied that I got the will to not cower
To simply get up, and shower

Almost nothing can compare
to the feeling, of someone
who is capable of repairing your heart
by just being next to you.

"You the river, and me the canyon you cut through."

Here I sip my amaretto
Sifting through what to let go
Listening to another indie band
Drink my drink, we'll see where I land
Reinvent a whole new plan
Whoever it was holding my hand
Sometimes would distort to less than human
But I fall asleep to the siren song
I let the waves rock me along
Why did it go on so long
Tasted like chronic from a ****
But that's as far as it got
Encased in fears trust is what we forgot

I swear, laying on her lap was heaven on earth.

I'm dwelling in the catacombs of my mind
Where the bones of past me's come to be grind
Fuel for my Demons power, just temporary
But it all goes except the memory

It contains my deepest fear
But nothing draws near
As if I'm welcomed here
I see myself and it's my eyes to leer

The consequences of hate
Is a sour fate
Watching yourself become what you relate
Walking into your hells' gate

I'm a slave to my heart
I'm a prisoner to my mind ripped apart
Slaved to feelings that should have long passed
Forever shackled in my thoughts, I'm just in last
Someday I hope my heart to hear my cries
Someday I hope my mind, to understand I'm out of tries

The way I talk about you to my friends
Goes to show I never wanted to break ends
I sit here with a smoke and possible nap
Wishing I could take it in your lap

Let me smoke another cigarette
Say I'll quit
But never do, oh the regret
You are what I exhale and need to

Forget

The deed is done
And no one won

We both took an L
You the hardest I can tell
I hope things go swell
Wrapped up in your demons blanket
Just make it by saying fake it

Let's just say
You're simply news from yesterday

The shivering snow
Crisp winds rustle the dead twigs
Bringing warmth to heart