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Jun 21 · 131
Mask
eliana Jun 21
I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled,
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night,
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling,
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears,
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day
I was slowly dying.
I couldn't go on,
There was something missing..

Until now I'm still searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying,
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then, I'll keep on smiling,
Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing.
Hoping one day I can smile,
Till then, I'll be here...waiting.
Jun 21 · 86
Tell Me It's Okay.
eliana Jun 21
Tell me it's okay
To just want to cry.
Tell me it's okay
To never say goodbye.

Tell me it's okay
To be afraid to be strong.
Tell me it's okay
And that you're comin' along.

Tell me it's okay
And that you're staying by me.
Tell me it's okay,
And that this life is meant to be.

Tell me it's okay
To feel how I'm feeling.
Tell me it's okay -
The way that I am dealing.

Tell me it's okay -
That there is a reason for it all.
Tell me it's okay,
Even if I fall.

Tell me it's okay
To lose control today.
Tell me it's okay.
Just tell me it's okay.
Jun 21 · 114
A Broken Family Tree
eliana Jun 21
I am one of many
Small branches of a broken tree,
Always looking to the ones above
For guidance, strength and security.
One little branch trying
To keep the others from breaking away.
Who will fall?
And who will stay?
Now I stand alone,
Looking at the earth through the rain,
And I see the broken branches I knew
Scattered about me in pain.
There are those who have taken an ax
To the root of our very foundation
And who have passed this destruction
Down to every new generation.
If I could take that ax,
I would toss it deep into the sea,
Never to return again
To harm the generations that follow me.
I am one of many,
But alone I will go
And plant the new seeds
Where a beautiful tree will grow.
a family to a tree, each branch integral to the whole.
Jun 21 · 134
Someday I'll Be Okay!
eliana Jun 21
This ink, it runs.
This paper is stained
Tears run free as
I'm stuck in a daze.
I put this pen to paper,
To write the words
This voice can't deliver.
My heart is heavy
With pain and despair.
Can't breathe.
I'm fighting for air.
My mind is spinning
At the speed of light.
This pain in my life
Has clouded my mind.
The thoughts are deafening
Of my life you took away,
But after all my
Heartache,
Someday I'll be okay!
you can lose everything in a blink of an eye, and be lost trying to find the answers to why.
Jun 21 · 90
drafts
eliana Jun 21
im gonna be posting all my drafts i currently have so yea poem dump i guess..
Jun 21 · 117
Inside Out
eliana Jun 21
Outside lives a girl with a smile that will brighten up the room,
yet inside hides a girl with a frown full of despair.

Outside lives a girl with eyes of joy that bring you to ease,
yet inside hides a girl shedding tears of sadness.

Outside lives a girl with a beautiful laugh that's contagious,
yet inside hides a girl screaming her lungs out in unwanted anger.

Outside lives a girl with the personality everyone envies,
yet inside hides a girl full of insecurities and shame.

Outside lives a girl who is fearless and tough,
yet inside hides a weak girl who lives in fear.

Outside lives a girl full of life,
yet inside hides a girl full of pain, wanting to die.

Outside lives a girl with a perfect image,
yet inside hides a girl with regrets and mistakes.

Outside lives a girl of innocence,
yet inside hides a girl with tremendous guilt.

Outside lives a girl with goals and aspirations,
yet inside lives a girl lost in confusion.

What you see on the outside is my personal disguise.
What hides underneath, you can't even begin to imagine.
you never know what someone is going through. people only see what you let them see.
Jun 21 · 83
Life Without You
eliana Jun 21
Me without you
is like a leafless fall,
a snowless winter,
and a flowerless spring.

Me without you
is like a colorless rainbow,
a sunless day,
and a starless night.

Me without you
is like the ocean without a wave,
the beach without sand,
and a flameless fire.

Me without you
is like a book without words,
a man without a face,
and a child with no name.
life without the person you love.
Jun 21 · 69
In Spite Of You
eliana Jun 21
Angry
Mad
Livid
Furious
******
At you

Sad
Depressed
Heartbroken
Morose
Melancholy
Because of you

Unbreakable
Strong
Resilient
Flexible
Tough
In spite of you.
i am who i am in spite of you.
Jun 21 · 172
I'm Tired
eliana Jun 21
I'm tired.
Tired of the constancy,
the constancy of judgment.
Tired of hiding,
hiding who I really am.
Tired of trying to stay strong.

I'm tired.
Tired of pretending,
pretending to be happy when all I want to do is cry.
Tired of not being able to let go,
let go of all the pain and emotions that consume me.
Tired of feeling worthless.

I'm tired.
Tired of being put down,
put down by the people I felt closest to.
Tired of dreaming,
dreaming of a life I will never have.
Tired of not being good enough.

I'm tired.
Tired of remembering,
remembering how I used to be so happy.
Tired of the blame,
the blame I put on myself daily.
Tired of the anger.

I'm tired.
Tired of crying,
crying in the shower so nobody can hear.
Tired of the fear,
the fear of being judged, hurt, and alone.
Tired of failing.

I'm tired.
Tired of holding on when all I want to do is give up.
Tired of being tired.
Tired of being me.
getting worse over the years.
Jun 21 · 120
Every Day
eliana Jun 21
We've all been through thick.
We've all been through thin.
We've all been to the light
And back to the dark again.

Every day is a struggle.
Every day may be a new fight.
Every day may be a game,
And every day may leave a new scar.

But never forget that every day is new.
Every day is an adventure waiting for you
Jun 21 · 37
Stay Or Go?
eliana Jun 21
The days go by, then a month, then a year,
and still through the days I see not a change.
No matter what happens, you still aren't here,
and how you just disappeared is what's strange.

No explanation, no warning, just gone.
I wish I had just some of your courage
to go leave one rainy morning at dawn,
to leave one day without any message.

How I long for somewhere to be renewed
or to just disappear, just not to be,
not to see, not to feel, not to hear you,
the ghost that you are, which I long to be.

But as many days that I want to go,
there are more that I want to stay and know.
Jun 21 · 146
Blessed
eliana Jun 21
I've never wished for fortunes,
I've always prayed for better things.
I'm happy and contented,
Never wanting to live like a king or queen.

I've never craved for riches.
Why should I waste my time?
Possessions are only borrowed.
All I want is peace of mind.

Money can't buy you happiness
Or make your dreams unfold.
Your loved ones are your wealth,
Not pockets filled with gold.

As long as there's food on the table,
A roof above my head,
I will say thank you, Lord,
My life has truly been blessed.
Amen!
Jun 21 · 105
Tapestry
eliana Jun 21
If I could take a brush and paint the mountains and the moors,
I would splash the hillsides yellow and cover them in gorse.
I'd take the finest needle and the darkest thread of green
And sew a line of bracken along the landscape. In-between

I'd lay a purple carpet of wild heather in the dells
And fringe the edge of all the woods with their pretty lilac bells.
I'd merge the bracken with the heather, mix their colours like the sea,
A green and purple ocean on my own rich tapestry.

Then I'd take a ball of soft, white wool and stitch a mass of daisy chains
Around the lush green meadows and up the sides of winding lanes.
I would stencil on the marshes, just like pure white china cups,
Some fragile water lilies and by the ponds, sweet buttercups.

I'd mix orange, reds and yellows planting poppies wild and free
Onto nature's coloured canvas, my own rich tapestry.
Jun 21 · 84
Life Of A Poet
eliana Jun 21
pen and "P"aper
poems and qu"O"tes
     writing's th"E" refuge
                  tha"T" gives me hope
         it release"S" the hurt

  and feelings o"F" pain.
           It clears "O"ut  the worries
               that d"R"ive us insane.

                       I'l"L" forever be grateful.
                  Noth"I"ng compares.
      For all that I "F"ace,
        poetry is th"E"re.
glad i discovered poetry.
Jun 21 · 108
Never Stop Being You
eliana Jun 21
Never stop caring about the little things in life.
Never stop dreaming, and don't give into strife.
Never stop wondering are we on our own.
Never stop thinking has your spirituality grown.

Never stop building bridges that lead to better tomorrows.
Never stop trying, and don't give into sorrow.
Never stop feeling amazed at the beauty that surrounds you.
Never stop hearing the music, and don't give into the blues.

Never stop pushing away negative thoughts that make you feel sad.
Never stop looking at all the miracles we have had.
Never stop loving the ones you hold dear.
Never stop giving, and don't give into the fear.

Never stop smiling, but look forward to each new day.
Never stop shining in your own special way.
Never forget that all storms will clear.
Remember brighter tomorrows are always near.
keep moving forward.
Jun 21 · 438
I Wish He Knew
eliana Jun 21
I wish he could know
What I'm too scared to show.
I wish he could see
Just how much he means to me.
I wish he could tell
That I know him so well.
I wish he could feel
My love that is real.
I wish he could hear
The things that I fear
About him never knowing
That my love for him is growing.
millions of girls all over the world wish their crush knew what they felt about them. im one of those million lol
Jun 21 · 232
Eye Of Fire
eliana Jun 21
Your eyes are fire.
Their image burnt into my soul,
Scarred by beauty.
Jun 21 · 129
Love
eliana Jun 21
I am over you.
Then my eyes meet yours once more,
and I fall in love.
cant keep my eyes off of him
Jun 21 · 147
Silent Healing
eliana Jun 21
How hard it is to heal a broken heart.
Everything seems so dark,
And it seems like the stars even lost their spark.
Loneliness just pulled me apart.
It even killed the dreams I have in my heart.
Now I see the light because I learned to write,
Giving the silent healing I need to free the sadness I was hiding inside.
everything that i cant voice is written and expressed through writing.
eliana Jun 21
There will be dark days,
when you feel alone
with your aching heart
but that doesn’t mean
you will always be.
The sun will always
peer through the clouds.
Let its light show you
the love you have forgotten.
to lyle, ive seen that you seem down by ur poems so may this help and to anybody else who needs it! 💗
Jun 21 · 168
Nobody Knows
eliana Jun 21
Nobody knows it's empty,
The smile that I wear.
The real one is left behind in the past
Because I left you there...

Nobody knows I am crying.
They won't even see my tears.
When they think I am laughing,
I wish you were here...

Nobody knows it's painful.
They think that I am strong.
They say it won't **** me,
But I wonder if they are wrong...

Nobody knows I miss you.
They think I am all set free,
But I feel like I am bound with chains,
Trapped in the mystery...

Nobody knows I need you.
They think I can do it on my own,
But they don't know I am crying
When I am all alone...
longing for a lost love.
Jun 20 · 119
Make Me A Garden
eliana Jun 20
Help me design my garden of life
Full of iris, crocus, and lily
With daffodils that shine so bright
Like the sun of the greater deities.

Make me a path that curves around trees
Of stepping stone, wood chip, and moss
Varying in array of colors
Causing one's mind to venture in thought.

Make me a garden so rich in hue
That the sun will fight not to set,
Where merely viewing its beauty
All differences one will forget.

Make me a garden like people of the world,
All different in culture and view,
Contributing to the person I am
Without your prejudicial few.

A garden of only one color, it seems
Would be dull and so very alone.
I want my garden of life to be filled
With every color known.
one who knows different cultures only broadens their horizon.
Jun 20 · 86
Everyone Is Searching
eliana Jun 20
Everyone is searching
for the missing piece in life.
The key to unlock the door
and steal back all lost time.
Searching, looking, restless,
scanning every crack and crevice,
lying awake at night,
dreamless, empty presence.
Your broken heart
from years and years
lets laughter fall onto
your deaf ears.
No happiness is enough.
No joy can be felt.
Everyone is searching
for something to heal themselves,
yet no medicine is strong enough,
no key can ever be turned
to give us what we want the most,
to give us what we yearn.
The thing we want is an illusion.
Our perceptions are distorted.
The Snow Queen's looking glass
when it dropped and shattered.
All is worth what we rate it,
all ranked by how we place it.
Chasing what cannot be found
instead of choosing to be content.
Wanting what we do not have,
a dream that cannot be,
a masterpiece of mirages,
all too soon we believe.
When will we begin
to accept what is here?
The present day in which we live,
not the past or future.
When will we stop searching
and decide we don't need more?
Only then we will find
what we've been looking for.
The good you have is here,
yet you keep looking on,
never realizing what you had
until it is gone.
Jun 20 · 83
Perfection
eliana Jun 20
Perfection was created
to make us feel imperfect,
but imperfect, of course,
is the perfect thing to be.

We spend every hour of every day,
every day of every week,
trying to be different,
trying to be unique.

Our nature is to search
for answers to life's questions,
concepts we don't understand,
like "What is perfection?"

You strive to be "perfect,"
a term you don't understand.
You should be yourself
before it gets out of hand.

Surely happiness is of priority
over a word like "perfection,"
so ask yourself this,
who looks back in your reflection?
Jun 20 · 109
if i thought
eliana Jun 20
If I thought for just one moment that this would be my last breath,
I'd tell you I'll love you forever, even beyond death.
If I thought for just one moment that your face would be the last I'd see,
I'd take a million pictures and save them just for me.
If I thought for just one moment that your voice would be the last I'd hear,
I'd listen attentively and promise not to shed a tear.
If I thought for just one moment that your touch would be the last I'd feel,
I'd embrace you and know that this has all been real.
If I thought for just one moment that my heart would beat its last beat,
I'd thank the Lord for allowing us to meet.
to my bestfriend. i wish i could show her this but im just to scared lol none of my friends know i do poetry.
Jun 19 · 28
That Stings.
eliana Jun 19
My body craves it, but my mind doesn't.
Next thing you know, the bite goes down my throat.
"Why are you doing this?"
"You're a disappointment."
"You'll never reach your dreams."
"Why don't you just eat less?"
The devil on my shoulder says.

It's not easy. It's never enough. IM never enough.

"Didn't you just eat? You're eating again? "
"Why don't you eat? You've ate nothing but gum.."
"Hey, you look a little glum are you okay?"
"I miss her so much. I had just talked to her yesterday."
i look at myself and i dont like how i look but to others they say i look beautiful. theres also people who say words that hurt. some day they will learn to watch their words.
Jun 19 · 201
The Poetry Of Our Bodies
eliana Jun 19
these stories we wear –

scars,
stretchmarks,
wrinkles,

are wrongly labelled
as imperfections.

but aren’t they such beautiful,
courageous signs
of how we have lived?
you are beautiful just the way you are and dont let anyone tell you differently.
Jun 19 · 126
A Simple Plan
eliana Jun 19
Simple Sam was a simple man.
He lived each day by a simple plan.
Enjoy your life and live while you can.
Make each day count and take a stand.

Stand on the left or stand on the right,
Whichever one you think is right.
Live each day as if your last.
Life's too short and gone too fast.
but life isn't always that simple. or is it?
Jun 19 · 343
someday.
eliana Jun 19
Someday you will cry for me
Like I cried for you.
Someday you'll miss me
Like I missed you.
Someday you'll need me
Like I needed you.
Someday you'll love me,
But I won't love you.
Jun 19 · 39
Untitled
eliana Jun 19
You may hate me now but there was a time I was your wallpaper.

You may hate me now but there was a time where we would fall asleep on the phone.

You may hate me now but there was a time when I was your favorite person.

You may hate me now but there was a time when we would talk every day.

You may hate me now but there was a time when you felt betrayed by all of your friends and you didn't want to be with anyone else but me.

You may hate me now but there was a time when you thought i was the most beautiful person in your eyes.

You may hate me now but there was a time when a certain song you liked would remind you of me.

You may hate me now but there was a time when you missed me after a day of not seeing you.

You may hate me now but there was a time when you thought you would marry me

You may hate me now but there was a time when you loved me.
for that one someone in your life.
Jun 19 · 64
if.
eliana Jun 19
if.
but if i was that person you told me not to worry about
would you have fought harder?

if i was the girl you wanted and not the one you "settled for"
would you have stayed?
would you?
eliana Jun 19
If only walls could talk,
They'd tell you about me,
And how they hear me scream
And watch me while I bleed.

If only walls could talk,
They'd tell you I was ******.
Surprised that I'm not dead,
With a knife clutched to my hand.

If only walls could talk,
They'd tell you how I cry.
All the pain that's in my eyes
That's eating me alive.

If only walls could talk,
They'd tell you to be strong,
To keep on moving on,
Long after I'm gone.
float like a butterfly sting like a killer
Jun 19 · 43
Untitled
eliana Jun 19
I found my knife.
Isn't that nice?

I apologize.
Jun 18 · 68
Circle Of Life
eliana Jun 18
Life is a carousel, always going forward, never going back.
Existence is a hard thing to keep when you stop trying.
To live a life, you must want to live.
To want to live you must find a way.
When all hope is lost, you must stand tall.
When all others retreat, you must prevail.
You are the conscience inside your head.
You create your own destiny.
Life is a very hard thing to keep
When your life does not always go the way you plan.
Fight for your life and the right to keep dreaming.
If you feel you were gifted, share your gift.
If you feel you were cursed, fix it.
As you get older, your life becomes a challenge.
Who are you?
What do you want in life?
What will you be?
What is your purpose in life?
If you worry, these things will turn into burdens.
But if you hold on to them in the back of your mind,
All of the answers will come in time.
Life is a carousel, always going forward, never going back.
Look to the future, not to the past.
Jun 18 · 142
If You Must Go
eliana Jun 18
If you must go, then go for a while
Remember that first step is a hard traveled mile.

To learn what lessons life has in store,
You must be willing to open each door.

Don't be afraid to experience something new
For each experience will be a benefit to you.

Never live your life in the past
Enjoy every day as if it were your last

Mistakes you will make along the way
Learn from them, and you'll be okay

Set your goals high and strive for them
As long as you try, you'll never be condemned

Be kind and respect the people you meet
For they may be the ones to make life complete

Be sincere in everything you do
And treat others as you wish they would you

Whatever you do, make sure you're content
For the last thing you want is something to resent

So if you must go, then go for a while
And when you return, return with a smile.
I have had a  rough life of lot of negativity... but I am trying not to circle myself around people or things that bring me down anymore. With each new day that passes, I'm slowly learning how to let go and let God handle it.
Jun 18 · 112
Writer's Block
eliana Jun 18
I try to write but nothing seems to come to mind.
"Oh how about this?" Nah, that sounds foolish.
I know I'm smart but it's like my brain just restarts.
Oh what to write.
ughhh i cant think of what to write its haunting meee🥲.
Jun 18 · 263
Every Scar Has A Story.
eliana Jun 18
Every scar has a story.
What will mine tell?
What will come of this
when I’m better, when I’m well?

I want my scar to tell
of how I’ve overcome,
of how I made it through,
of where I have come from.

I want my scar to whisper
about the pain I faced,
about this very hard time,
about the marathon I raced.

But mostly I want my scar
to speak of something greater
I want it to shout
about my living Creator.

Let my scar be evidence
that there is a loving Lord
who fought my scary battles
and on whose wings I soared.

Let my scar proclaim
that all things work for good,
that by myself I couldn’t
but with my God I could.

Let them take a look.
Let them peek and see.
My scar shows God is great.
It points to Him, not me.
i have many scars over my body but soon i will be having knee surgery so this is dedicated to that scar. God loves you❤️
Jun 18 · 82
I'm Fine
eliana Jun 18
When she smiles and laughs,
It no longer sounds hollow,
For she has learned
To mask her sorrow.
She's so uncertain
Of why she is sad.
Her life is fine now.
Why does it hurt so bad?
Tears won't fall.
She forgot how to cry.
Most of the time
She just wants to die.
She's obsessed with this concept
That skinny is perfect.
She pukes if she eats
Just trying to feel worth it.
She looks in the mirror
And hates what she sees.
She slices her skin
Screaming, "I don't wanna be me!"
But by tomorrow
No one will know
She'll smile and laugh.
The scars won't show.
They think she is better.
They couldn't be more wrong.
She plays the part well.
They think she is strong.
Now and again
Someone sees past her mask.
They study her face
And quietly ask.
She looks back smiling
And she says, "I'm fine,"
But the sad truth is
She always lies.
Jun 17 · 36
Betrayed By Blood
eliana Jun 17
Growing up i looked up
to you.
You showed me what it was like to be brave.
But that one day, you chose to mess it all up.
"Come to my room, lets watch a movie."
Little did I know , I was about to be violated in my own home.
"Give me a hug"
But oh this was no hug, i wish I would'e known.
How could i have been so DUMB.
"Oh its not my fault" I say, I was too young.
The feeling of your touch down there.
"This doesn't feel right.."
" i don't care"
Nena walked in, "What the hell are yall doing??"
"He said to give him a hug" I said
That night, we got a stern talking to.
"Don't ever do that again"
Was that it? All you had to say?
I had felt like my innocence had been taken away.
Years later, there's not a day that goes by
where i don't think of that traumatizing, long-lasting memory of mine.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
Or maybe, you should've taken action.
I'll never feel the same again.
i don't see him the same. i even still love him. is that wrong?
Jun 17 · 92
Not What I Seem
eliana Jun 17
We live in a generation
Where the lack of verbal conversation
has made all of us blind.
We all hide behind
our shiny, protective screens
where what words truly mean
is blanketed by lighthearted connotations
followed by a lack of punctuation.

But those lighthearted phrases
Cause others to go through phases
Where the light is stolen from their hearts.
They see what others call jokes
as simply a hoax
to disguise with lies
the darkness hiding behind their eyes.
It is intended to hurt,
to prove their worth
and to unearth all your insecurities.
While some go through phases
others get caught in mazes
that drag them ever deeper
into the fiery flame pit of self hate.

This self hate, they do not appreciate.
They let themselves bite the bait
instead of getting the story straight.

We live in a time where the muscles of our thumbs
are stronger than the muscles of our minds.
Enough so that our eyes are blind
to the downfalls and issues of mankind.
“If I can’t see it, it isn’t there.”
Oh, but our satellites, those things up there?
And the tectonic plates below us where
some of the greatest destruction brews without a care.
...Those exist, right?
You can’t see those.
So you shove those away,
like a box of old clothes
and make way for your own
delightful fantasy you call your own.

“Life is hard.”
You don’t know hard,
until you see the scars
someone gouged into themselves
to escape the iron bars
weighing them down to life.

You don’t know hard
until you see someone’s mutation
from normalization
to one of pure starvation of love,
and devastation,
because they were a victim of miscreation.

You say you’re not bullies,
but you destroy someone’s life with relative ease,
tearing down their fragile shield of protection
and steering them in the wrong direction.

Just a simple word, directed towards someone,
“Stupid.” “Fat.” “Ugly.”
Can remove a person’s life completely of glee,
make the light vanish from their soul,
and make their life seem like the Dust Bowl.
There is no “making amends.”
So the next time you open your lips
and put your hands on your hips,
before the words roll off the tip
of your tongue,
Look into their eyes
and be willing to compromise
because you don’t know how they feel inside.
Sometimes it is better to be silent than to be heard
because the tragedies caused by the spoken word
are better left unheard.

Everyone has dreams,
and everything is not what it seems,
and before you see the streams
of tears running down their face
as they scream in frustration
that their life is a state of desolation
you’re better off being silent,
than violent.

And just as everything is not what it seems,
I…
am not what I seem...
Jun 17 · 421
Wrist Cutter
eliana Jun 17
I slit my wrist to erase the pain.
you look at me and think I'm insane.
My eyes turn red, bleeding my tears,
and still you try to protect me from my worst fears.
Look at my scars, then you will see
why I can't seem to go around and fake happy,
yet you tell me you love me, that you'll forget,
for I'll soon be gone, and I'll be your greatest regret.
So let me die, broken and scarred,
I can't deal with life, it's getting far too hard.
Everything's gone wrong; it's not worth trying,
so leave me alone because I feel like I'm dying.
I don't want you to worry,
because my life is ending in a hurry.
I'll be fine and happy, you see,
for death is what I wished for and soon it will be.
ive been having the urge to relapse but i havent so im glad!
Jun 17 · 214
Daddy's Gone
eliana Jun 17
How do you sit down and talk to your sister
and tell her that her Daddy has gone?
It's easier explaining the meaning of death
and why people die and draw their last breath.

But Daddy, he's gone to no peaceful heaven.
Instead he's in prison and serving a seven,
so how do you sit down and tell your own sister
the whys and the reasons her Daddy has gone?

"Listen, sis, you'll need to be strong.
Daddy has done something terribly wrong.
He's gone into prison for quite a long time,
and this is what happens when you commit crime."

"Daddy still loves us, he'll phone and he'll write,
ring you to wish you goodnight and sleep tight.
We can sit down together and write him a letter.
It'll make Daddy smile and make him feel better."

I tried telling my sister with emotional tact
the truth of the matter, but you can't hide the fact.
Her Daddy has gone and has gone for a while.
You can't say it with flowers or manage a smile.

So how do you sit down and talk to your sister
and answer her questions why Daddy has gone?
All you can do is just tell him your way
and pray to the Lord he'll be home soon one day.
still yet to tell my ***** but shes only 5🫤 idk how to tell her or if i even should.
Jun 17 · 208
Forever Grateful
eliana Jun 17
I don't think you will
Ever fully understand
How you've touched my life
And made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know
Just how truly special you are,
That even on the darkest nights
You are my brightest star.

You've allowed me to experience
Something very hard to find,
Unconditional love that exists
In my body, soul, and mind.

I don't think you could ever feel
All the love I have to give,
And I'm sure you'll never realize
You've been my will to live.

You are an amazing person,
And without you I don't know where I'd be.
Having you in my life
Completes and fulfills every part of me.
i love you bestfriend and im so glad i met yu 💗.
eliana Jun 17
Awaiting the news, we feared the worst and hoped for the best.
Life was about to put my family through an unforgettable test
Mom came in, evidence on her face, that granny wasn't okay
"Wita has cancer" mom cried.

I didn't sleep that night, that night was one of the worst
I have been to a funeral before, but I feared wita's would be the worst.
I cried myself to sleep, and little did I get
I wasn't ready to lose my  grandma yet

After the countless treatments and medicines,nothing seemed to work. I visited Wita in her bed, and I don't mean to be rude
But seeing her like this scared me, she looked like a skeleton decorated in tube.
It was exceptionally difficult not to cry, but I tried oh so hard.
I walked over, hugged Wita tight, and held her hand hard. I didn't want to leave her side.

I said in my head: Wita I hope you get well soon, I know you'll be okay
It's okay to be scared, we'll visit you everyday.
And when you get home, things will change, we won't ever fight, it's true.
Wita never give up, keep on fighting...
I don't want to lose you.

As her eyes closed, and she took her last breath
That was the moment my heart dropped, and I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't.
I hugged her for what felt like forever, cried on her, and quickly did time pass.
I never wanted to stop saying "I love you" for fear it would be the last.

Suddenly I was being pulled away, being told it was gonna be okay.
That was the worst day.
I miss you wita, may you rest peacefully ❤️🕊️ . Cancer *****!!
Jun 16 · 143
my world
eliana Jun 16
Roses are red, Violets are dying
Outside im smiling and inside im fighting
With all of my fears that keep telling me to stop trying
And all night long i have been crying because im scared of hanging and dying.
Cutting my wrists like its nothing but i just wanted to feel something
My family doesnt care but i think i just found someone who might dare.
Dare to tell me to stop all this sadness and finally feel some real happiness.
Jun 16 · 44
untitled
eliana Jun 16
Someone once told me " A woman who gives birth doesn't make her your mother. It's the nights they spend caring about you, looking out for you, giving you a roof to live under."
My mom REALLY lacked that.

It hurts so bad to sit back and think about all the times we had spent together, laughter filling the room but in reality it was just a face. A mask.
A mask who hid the woman that birthed me. A mask that hid the fact that maybe you shoudnt have had me if you lacked what it takes to BE a mother.

Yeah you bought me fun toys at the dollar store, told me to play video games if i was bored, but you didn't protect me.
You didn't protect me from the shouting and slamming between you and him.
You didn't protect me when you crashed into those bricks.
You didn't protect me when I was beneath the bed hearing glass smash.
You didn't protect me mom.
You just didn't.
Now you face the consequences of your actions and maybe, just maybe you'll regret having made such dumb, ignorant mistakes.
idk if this even counts as a poem but yeah. i miss my mom and i hope someday i will reunite with her. any feedback pls and thxs!
Jun 5 · 143
Misunderstood
eliana Jun 5
You say you understand.
Oh do you now?
Do you know what its like to feel abandoned or betrayed?
Do you know what its like to be the one out of billions as a  mistake?
You don't understand, you just don't.  You don't know what its like to sit at the dinner table eating steak, acting like I am not about to just break. I try so hard to act like i'm this happy jolly kid who has an incredible life and family. But deep inside, Im this teenager who is falling apart day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. Do you not realize what you've done to me? What you are doing to me? You keep me away locked up like im a cage without a key. Why cant you just let me be? So many questions i have that you can't answer, so many things that i can't fathom.  
Oh if only I wasn't a mistake.
i wrote this right now. i had some feelings i had to get out but ik  its not my best.
Jun 4 · 299
Battle Scars
eliana Jun 4
People don't realize what they're saying, they shout "wrist check!" And laugh, not understanding the feeling of unsticking their clothes from their body in the morning. They say "Let me scan your barcodes!" Not understanding the feeling of your skin breaking and knowing you did it to yourself. They'll never understand the guilt that comes with it, the feeling of failure, and the pain being the only thing you can feel. They won't understand why you did it, and neither can you. They won't understand. They will continue to shout these things not knowing what's underneath your shirt. They won't understand that you will have these reminders of your past on wedding day, they will be there forever. People don't realize what they're doing when they grab your wrists and turn them over and shout "what's that?" People don't get it. They will never.
um i wrote this a little while ago and uh its like a perspective of someone who cuts and people constantly bring them down for it. any tips please lmk <3

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