A nice line I came across-
We all need to belong
To somewhere
To someone
To whom?
Where?
What?
How?

Can't figure out yet
But if we belong to
Ourselves
Our passion
Our love
.
.
.
Our
belongingness is
More than enough
To survive each day :)

A date night with myself
With my best mood on
Flaunting my smile to myself
Amazingly interesting it will be
I said to myself
And left for a shimmering place
To eat and to be with me
Chicken biryani with kabab
And pulpy grape juice
My fav food I ordered
Food, me and love
All at once
With music on
To celebrate my me-time!

Little that I know
that I was lost when
I could find no one around
To seek within me took lot of time
And the song that I listened too,
Over and over again
I came to know that
the singer had died.
It was shocking to me
When it came to light!

The tunnel seemed
unexpectedly too long
Expected to be patiently impatient
For the things I have never known.

Now I stand still
Let me know
Let me take the lead
And fear no more
Let me be me
To see how it goes
No more hestisation
Let me fall into the unknown ocean
And reveal it into splishes
and splashes
And enjoy the waves
As it goes!

I have written 200 poetry
Beginning from last year.
I highly appreciate all of your support
Of being their with me
Of completion of my 200 poetry.
Hp is my family now
Whenever I feel I want to express
I open the door of **
Amd feel like I am at home
A home where I have met
All the heart warming & talented
poets/poetess like you all
For creating precious memories here.

I pray for all of you
For your well being
And happiness.
May all of you continue to
explore more
Write more
Share more.

Love you all
from the bottom
of my heart

I left an apprection note
For the ones
who works in my 'Creative team'.
Days and nights went by
When I was little angry
As their works weren't that great
And partly, they too weren't
Liking me that well.

But now,
I am bit more matured
With a little more of patience
And humor while playing my part.
As a lead, I stand like a pillar
Whenever they are in trouble,
And would like to stand at last
While taking appreciation,
Rather dividing more of
Inspiration, understanding
And appreciation
Amongst themselves
For collectively
performing well.

Creativity is sowed and I enjoy watering them
everyday as I go,
And they continue to work
with their right brains
With laughter, humor
and designer jokes.

I enjoy their smiles and laughter while packing up for their homes
I wish to maintain
a chilled creative team
Where they are happy to work
And go back home
With extension of smiles
For getting appreciated well enough
For solving the creative challenges of everyday life!

Cheers to my team!

Hi dear
perfectionist anxiety
A monster who craves for me
I said I no longer love you
You make my life miserable
To reach to a point
Where I belong nowhere.

Believe me,
I never love to be
Release me
I am better off without you
I would love to be free
Let me go, please!

Surrendering to the quietness
Of the soul beneath
Dancing to the steps
Naturally taken aback
Go with the flow
Don't look back.
The racing mind and me
jumps off a cliff
doesn't stop
It's racing to win the race.
A race which takes us to nowhere
To many unanswered queries
Why mind?
What are you racing for.
Relax, have a drink!
And learn to enjoy
The beauty in every pause
You and I take for God sake.

Ever wondered what raw beauty is?
I feel it now, I understand it now.
I don't like sweet people
All coated in best sugary dips
Like the artificial flavoured ones.

Rather I prefer now the raw bitterness
At least it's not coated or artificial
It's raw and honest
No matter how much it hurts
At least it is what it is
Love to taste the raw bitterness
With beauty within intact in it.

What to do when depression
Strikes again
With more of strength
And me falling weak & apart
Unable to get up from bed
For day or two
Unable to scream for help
Or speak up what's wrong
Lying there like a dead
Waiting for the depression storm to pass
I get up from square one
When it passes
But the destruction still remain
Taking one step at a time
To reform oneself
And fix the armour more stronger
Than ever
To wish for more strength
To weaken the depression storm
And make myself more stronger.

The more I am into
Reading, writing or creating art
The more I am learning about the meaningful asset of oneself.
The more I am becoming
closer to oneself.
The more I am losing others
like the sand slipping from hand.
Everything seems so away
And I am there only to comfort oneself
The need is now how to be better
To serve others and to love oneself.

How days goes by
And I feel a little less
Of the pain suffering or love
Everything feels nothing now
A part which used to ache
Now nowhere do I belong

I asked you to walk away
I was suffering from the fact that I mattered so less in your life.
I could see all the warning signs
But with you, I felt so happy
You were my best accident
And my best escape.
Never would I like to change anything
From the past cherished memories of ours.
But I guess,
I bring chaos to every normal thing.

I suffered a lot by loving you
And craving for your love
I could feel your affection
But never was it love.

I see you free now
May you find a being
Who brings less of chaos
And more of joy into your life

For my love,
I could only write poetry about
How fabulous your we were
Both in day & night
And each time it was magical
With all the shimmers around
But I guess magic too ends after a while.

Hope you are always happy
It's hard to let you go
But you know what?
It's harder to not able
to show my love at all.

It's Valentine's week
And love is marching it's drill
Everywhere around
Love is in the air
Yes, I can see
But to feel-
I feel little less
Why there's no self love day?
To celebrate the love for oneself
That too so purely
Before giving a bite of ones love
For share!

For almost years, was in deep sorrow
with life's trials every other day.
I cried and cried till I found my back.
From work to my room and
again back to work was my routine.
Couldn't come out of depression
Thinking it would be the end.
Sufferings never ended
Depression & anxiety never left me
They are still there..
What ended was my perception!

A perception of new life-
To live as if it's my last
Rather than dying every other day!

Let my
scars
bruises
wounds
Speak of my love
My love for art
Along with poetry
Defines my soul
And nonetheless
My love for each
One of you
Makes me feel the
beauty from inside.

I can't feel less
I am sorry for that
I only know how to feel
Every detail of life
Whether pain or sorrow
No wonder
I can't shut my eyes.
I only know how to feel
Define it through my work of art!

With each day's torments in life
I take my brush and
try to paint out my soul
Where to begin or end
not knowing at all
but still love to paint
to find solace within my heart!

To paint or to write,
is my usual confusion
so did both while writing & painting
my soul out!

To be lonely or not to be?
A question that makes me tormented.
To be lonely, shows me the inner way
Not to be?Not sure whether things would work out!
Meanwhile, alone and
enjoying on my own.
With a nice treat of food
And a soft cone dipped in chocolate!

Three days without a phone
And I realized
Nothing has gone wrong
Everything is as is
Life goes on
People move on
From new moon to full moon
Leaves falling and growing again
A tea in cold quiet winter evening
Made more sense
A tormented soul though
With more and more hollows
Realized how I crave for love
Buried myself into books, blankets and cried out as much as I could
Remained quiet
until I found my inner soul
Reaching to me to love thyself.

*Love is found within after all!

Rubic cube taught me,
With full of unsorted colors
No matter we can sort or not
But it is still an unsorted beauty
Leaves it's impression to be how it is
Or how more it gets unsorted
with more variations of colors
Doesn't matter what happens next
That's how life goes on!

I found you when
I had no path to walk
There was fun all around
But not within me
And out of no where
I found you to be-
My bestest friend
A sister
A little cute-
"Amina"!

You turned things around,
We found each other
With little less differences
And could tolerate each other,
a little more than
we could tolerate others!

Whenever low,
we know,
we are there for each other.
With thunders
and storms around
We stand still
Far off though
But still awaiting for
our hearts to meet,
With a single beat!
A beat of affection, love and comfort,
Not required everyday
But within seconds,
the bond of love we have
The happiness surrounds us
Like the happy winds all around
And from crying to again smiling.
Yes, that's how we are.
Love to be alone but not left alone.
Glad that I found a gift called* Mina!

**Happiest Birthday wishes to you Mina.

A destroyer, fell in love
With all it's heart
It loved everything around
But it forgot
That love destroys her
More than it destroys others!

My kisses will be

the droplets of the mists

All over you

Sugary and sweet

like the honey dew.


A kiss, before the sun kissed ray's

falls over you.

In the morning or at night,

No barriers

Just me and you

Inventing new ways of

loving each other

With each passing dawn.


And

I fall in love with you

Everyday, more than

Yesterday. 

I wondered how the moon
Was superbly beautiful.
Taking chances to climb up high
And more higher than usual reach,
Just to admire it more than ever.

I spoke with a girl of age 8,
Explaining her about the supermoon
She asked supermoon?
After understanding it
She said wait, wait.
Let's go to the terrace
And admire it together.

A new year
A new dream
A new me
A new you
New everything!

Let's ditch the old
And let's all be a
wonderful
shimmering light
Fulfilling new vision
to a limitless heights!

The holiday spent
with the closest person
A roll of gifts with laughter & their precious time
The memories to be cherished
As the year is passing by,
And walking through a new year dream
Twinkling with more dreams to be fulfilled!

Through the speedy ride
Onto the roads
The wind chills gushes
Through my hairs
Bringing out the tender smile
From within.

Its not the places
Nor destinations which we reach.

Its not the ride which
you take me through

Not the hills, the greenery, the unknown path.

Not the empty roads with the starry nights above!

Through the thick and thin.
We share our part.

It's not the rides
It's not the wind chills

It's not the romantic air
It's not your humor

Not your every other thing
which makes me laugh,

It's you, who is more than
anything to me than earlier times.

The twinkling of your eyes
Shining bright like the stars,

I would like to drown
into the ocean blue with you

Even if I don't know how to swim
But would love to enjoy every bit of it with you.

Would like to taste your lips with every other tasty meal
Which we both might share.

It's all magical dreams with you
And I never would like to wake up without you.

Time slips by, from night to Dawn
And again daylight vanishes
Into the night.

But it's always less of a time
Feels like I need more than years to discover you.

I don't know whether it's love or just passing a good time.

But whatsoever it might be
Keeping my fingers crossed

I would be awaiting how much ever
It takes to be with you all over again.

How nature blooms
Is a precious experience to pause
And watch
In the oasis of fog, mist and wind blowing all over
Chills & thrills exposure
of the ambience
speeding through the roads.
It feels like heaven
Full of love, with a kiss of the first ray of the sun
I took a deep breath
as much as I could
Sensing the myself alive
In this beautiful dreamy land
a sense of belongingness
Saying to myself that
yes, I do exist.*

-19 Dec, 2017

Love seems in the air
makes me fly every other day
but unexpressed it remains.
The silence of it
chokes me amidst the laughter
and the time we spend.

A girl should keep quiet
and wait for the guy to confess.
Trying to be a girl
but don't know how long?
How long shall I wait
and shut my feelings for you?

What is it for
you are keeping quiet
either you are taking advantage
or waiting for the right time..
But for how long shall I wait?

Finally
After months
My love, my friend came back..

Drowned in depression
I was for months.
I felt little less
But what a surprise!

The feeling of love
The gift of love..
Got back my laughter,
Got back the tight hug
Which I used to get,
Creating more memories.
But something was missing,
I guess my soul
Which was unable
To believe the reality!

Hi
Hello
To all of you!
It's a hello day
Sending greetings
from all across
No barriers
No lines
A hello for peace
A hello for knowing you
a little more.
A hello from my heart
Accompanied by a smile.

Love for lovely people
Who either care or never care
What happened to the love
For the environment?
Where all we see or hear
is the news of smog and hell.
All the ailments increasing
Day in and out
No measures taken!

Ek dost Tha Mera
Rehta Tha dur sheher me
Aata Tha kabhi kabar
Dher saare khushiyaan lekar
Din ya raat **, hasna muskurana,
Kabhi Kam na hota tha..

Jab bhi aata Tha
Har Roz milta Tha
Bohot der tak rukne ko taiyyar tha
Kabhi bola nahi-
K nahi yaar, aaj nahi.

Din badal Gaye mahine me,
Aur mujhe degaya har khushi
Jo kabhi mile na the!

Par ek din aisa bhi aaya,
Jab wo ghar Chala Gaya
Aur wapas kab aayega
Pata na tha..

Din, mahine bidte gaye
Par Akhon me asha kabhi na miti!
Usey bol to nahi payi
K dost kabhi to aa..

Ab har din naye dost banati hu
Hasti hu, khilkhilati hu,
Khush rehne ki koshish karti hu.
Din ya raat bahar rehti hu
Is umeed me k har Hawa me kabhi
Tu mil Jaye mujhe
Aur har din
Tere yaad me guzar leti hu..

Kabhi to aayega tu..
Din mahine saal
Shayed beet Jaye..

Kabhi to aayega tu..

English translation-

I had a friend,
Who stayed in another city,
Used to visit me every other day,
Bringing loads of happiness altogether
Without any shortage of Smiles or laughter.

Whenever he was here,
Everyday he used to meet me
Was ready to wait for me long
Never said, no today I can't.

Days passes by
And months too
And he gave me all happiness
And everyday seemed like a festival
Which I never had a chance to live!

But there came a day
When he had to return back home
Never knew when he would be back!

Days passed by
and months too.
But in my eyes,
Hopes never extinguished,
Never ever had I said
That friend- come back soon.

Everyday I make new friends
I smile, I laugh out loud.
I try to be happy
each and every day.
Day or night, I stay out
In the hopes of life
that the winds would
bring me closer to you.
And everyday I live
in the memories of you

May be someday
I would see you,
Days, months, years
Might pass by too,
May be someday..

Someday you will be back too..

In one side when depressed
Pressing the blankets
Holding tight to oneself
And crying harder than ever
As if the sky has fallen
And no escape anywhere to be seen.
Days and nights passes by
Sometimes, months and years too.

But then, there are days
When I just got used to it
Waking up in the morning
and getting out of bed
is still as difficult as earlier.
But still,
I wake up
In the hope to see some light.
I go out, see the whole world busy,
running around on a Saturday morning
Each of them being a sportsperson
And playing every other sports outside
Basketball, football, cricket and so on. I suppose every one is alone in this world,
Just like me!
But they chose differently to be,
They keep themselves busy under the blanket of their passion
Time is fleeting by anyways,
No wonder we can hold on to it.
So why not chose a passion
And throw the blanket away
And move on with life
With each of our incomplete passion
To fill our emptiness from within!

What to do when nobody around
To love you all the time
Or to give strength from behind?

What to do when the roads are
long enough at night,
And darkness all around
And nobody to hold hands by the side?

What to do when
Too much work at office
And no reason to come back home
No one awaiting to see you
after a day long.

What to do when nightmares
soaks you every night
Although weary body & mind
And no reason to be awake at night?

What to do when the friends
are nowhere around
To comfort you when needed the most
And the family is so far off.

Nothing to do
Rather drift apart
Divert from everything known
Seek nothing anymore
Only thing needed is
to rest and endure.

What happens when
creativity takes a back seat
And management comes in between
Guiding, coordinating,
briefings, reviews
and too many meetings
With the team!

Creativity dries up
Remaining only
My team!
They work, I coordinate
They get appreciation
And I remain the head!

Questioning all of it
Do I want to be the head
Or just be more creative
As an individual aspect?

A cup of Tea
and a kettle of stress
Compliments each other
One one is hotter
Than the other.

Both mingle with us
Stress comes first,
Accompanying  with a
nice cup of tea
Makes us feel better
Than ever!

I got a dream catcher
As a gift
To dream the dream
While asleep
And make the dream
come true
While awake.

But
The irony of dream catcher
Turned out to be black
I see nightmares
Crawling back every night
I feel restless
How the dream catcher
Became a nightmare catcher?

Diwali-
A festival of lights
Let the light in
And accept the darkness
From within!

Two empty cups
Facing each other
With tea of lemon & ginger
Nicely sipped altogether
Brings a comfort
After a long time!

Poetry of Words
with a heart & soul,
A healing touch
On it's own!

It has been a year
When you left me
empty handed forever
With all memories
Crushed & smashed!
I know I have mood swings
Every other day.
I am not easy to be with
You left me and never looked back.
I understand your choice as I am myself struggling to be with myself all along the way.
You asked me to improve
Said me I am a pure soul but still you never came back.
And after exactly a year,
when tears are rolling down my cheeks making an ocean out of droplets,
I am thinking what's the point in being a pure soul when you are not around?
You said do not chase people,
As the right people will come and stay.
I guess right people don't exists
And wrong people never stays!
Still empty handed, yet with life's responsibilities.
I rather would never come out of depression, and this became a fact.
But I am done seeking for love
And finding no more clues who likes me or not.
You know what, I am done.

Somebody
Not known
But turned
Into
special being
With each
passing day
It seemed!

Night walks
Laughter
Holding hands
Accompanied by
tight hugs. .
All washed away.

Now remains of it,
haunts me.
How to fix myself?
It's too haunting
for me to overcome
And
all of a sudden,
All the conversation
& laughter
lost in silence!

*And I am
Nobody to you
all over again!

With the blow of the lovely wind
The leaves of the fall
.
.
.
One
after
the other
keeps falling quietly
beyond their control.
Yet they never complain
Rather keeps
Rejuvenating & healing
Finding solace from within.

Highlighting to my past
Exactly a year back
From now...
My break up took place
with the most beloved
person of my life.

A year later
In quiet moments
Revisiting & reviving
visualising it
To be tormenting more
Unable to adjust
One's emotional state
of being!

But now I can see clearly,
How I missed all the
red warning flags!

A burning fire melted me
To mould me fiercely
I screamed silently
With each passing day & night
I ran back to and fro
Not knowing where to go!

A lesson for life
He taught me to take a different route
Walk the path all by yourself
And to go with the flow
No matter how slow.

And this is how,
I became *me
A me, who
flew back every
other new way,
To find him in nature
& Through solving
life's struggles
With each passing day.

I have googled it all
Asking random questions
To people and all
Reading more than ever
Writing my heart out
In pain, agony & distress.

How to do be alone
Happily and enjoy
my own company?

Adjusting myself to live
Somehow brings dreams and hopes
But all at once washed
Without a single sign.

I walk alone, to be alone
And to find alone
Me and my path!

Sleep comes over to sleep
Leaving me empty & alone
And it keeps snoring
Happily as I have known!

I look at it
And demand
Please sleep,
Let me sleep
with be you
And be at peace.

It declines,
Leaving me
Empty hearted
I cling, I drown,
I silently cry out
HELP!
Someone
help me please!

I see only pills
I drank them
Gulping with water.

I knew
I was drowning
Untill
I found the sleeping pill
To rescue me
From the devil inside
Me!

I saw few people
Of middle class & poor.
Went to a bakery
To eat.

I was one of them
To eat alone
Having money to eat
but no one to accompany.

Some people came together
They too wanted to eat
But with less money
They thought twice & thrice
what to eat &
what would cost less
Their only worry was
Although they were together
But with less of money
So they chose the items
Which they could afford.

They all ate and
went back together
I ate and came back alone
on my own.