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crystallaiz Jun 2017
i think about you
and i wonder
how long this can last

i'd like for you to take my hand
whenever i need you
like you did the last time
i'd like to take your hand
and walk down this road  

i don't like to think about us
apart

for you
at 11:11 i'll make a wish
that we'll be together
our fingers laced
even at the very end
what a crap. ongniel has ******* me over. ongniel ongniel ongniel i don't suppose anyone knows what I'm going on about? will i meet an ongniel stan here??????
crystallaiz Jul 2016
deliberated on a long black
to fit in with your latte
but i guess i can't change
washed down my words
with steaming earl grey
and later at the quaint bookshop
i filled up my head
with other writers, pretended to
admire the whimsical words
but actually i was more interested
in the resident cat
it sat there, flicking its tail
disdainful of every new customer
that walked through the door
met up with my friend the other day. thankful
crystallaiz Oct 2021
i'd rather get drunk
to the sound of your voice
but here i am
listening to music
on the midnight train home
all the good nights
and sleep tights
can't mask the ending
that began when we met
it's been so long. i know the things that need to be done, but i just can't bring myself to do them
crystallaiz Jul 2016
I am addicted to the green
curls of the ocean
you to the leaking sunrise
they crash to form the horizon
and when you climb
a sweet burn in the sky
the waves of the water
will come alive
to you
the horizon is where the ocean and the skyline meet. I want to go see the sunrise at the beach some day.
crystallaiz Jan 2016
he sings each note
so sharp and clear
somewhere,
in a field of lavender
a fire crackles  
an hourglass shatters
everyone!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBk5-LW3NZE I promise this 40s teaser is prettier than the poem~ Anticipate please~
crystallaiz Jan 2016
He dips his paint roller
into dark blue sadness
and splashes it across
the violet sunset
filling out the stars
that fall fall fall
onto great black umbrellas
the ones used on rainy days
except now the sky
is showering stars
so he tilts the cover up;
it's a world of white
unfilled diaries and
unspoken thoughts
slowly coloured by
translucent dream sequences
which disintegrate into
petals of deep burgundy
that used to be
pieces of him
Nope no justice done to the actual thing. So go watch this 4 and a half minutes of absolute perfection https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Js_Tf4nPilc It is a really pretty MV~
crystallaiz Aug 2016
his hair is made of midnight
dark and cold and soft like regret
like vivid dreams you
forget in the mornings
ink ignites his skin
lovely, unsettling drawings
traces up his body
everyone loves a living contrast
black on pale canvas
recently fascinated with pretty tattoos.
crystallaiz Mar 2019
the walk to the beach is a long way
we pass by no one on the roads
the stars are a little forlorn
i look up at you but you don't look at me
we pass by an empty shopping cart
who left it there?
i push it along because it looks a little lonely
and it's not nice to be lonely at 4am
i know
you don't ask how  
but i wish you would
it's a very long way to the beach

when we get there
i'll still be empty
but i'll watch you turn golden
you, you were made for the sun
it's all empty inside now. don't know how to put anything in and don't know how to get anything out.
crystallaiz Dec 2014
No matter how hard I try
or how much you show
it's undeniable truth
that in the end
we're just parallels
who happened to be rather close.
(it's not nice hearing almost
when someone else got their
forever with you)
It ***** when you feel? But it's tomorrow!! the 13th of December. Please be happy, and don't forget us TT
crystallaiz Jun 2017
what did i do so right in my life
that i got to meet someone like you

thank you
this summer
i met you
and i learned to believe
in miracles
ong seongwoo thank you for debuting TT i wish for only good things to happen to you from now on
crystallaiz Nov 2014
You always talked about
how it wasn't fair
I burst into your life
and made you fall for me
without a safety suspension

The way I crashed your defences
simply with my mocha eyes
and disarming smile when you
never let anyone else in
wasn't very fair too

And the unfairest of them all
was when I lodged myself
in your heart without meaning to
and gave myself the power to
right your world, or destroy you

So now I suppose you'd say it's fair
because you trapped me the same way
and cut off my exit routes but
left yourself with one
which you took, eventually.
what's fair?
crystallaiz Nov 2016
he was arrogance
lightning wrote his name
in the black spring sky
thunder spelled it aloud
under wakeful eyes
frost splintered the ground
in brilliant white

later
a little rain fell
in a field of cornflower blue
and muddied the quiet path through
the world no longer ice-kissed,
the season flowered unforgiving
then
he was melancholy
night is an angel and spring is a monster.
crystallaiz Nov 2019
i used to be a believer
in your eyes that held the stars in them
you used to be a believer
in my veins that blood pumped through

now you're withdrawing
i'm lying in this wasteland
wondering where the stars went.
my veins are a map,
leading you away from me
and i wish i could rearrange these lines
bring you back to me
i really did see the stars in your eyes and i would let you go if that meant you could keep the stars in your eyes. they were always meant to be in you. it was always meant to be you.
crystallaiz Jun 2017
the seconds drag themselves out
it was three months
then five minutes
two days now;
i'm always waiting
if i asked
would you wait with me?

(don't look at me with those eyes
i'm afraid i'll never be able to stop smiling)

you bloomed like a flower
but i'm always one step behind
and the words tumble down again
this time, i may fall with my words
the words i could never say to you
if i ask,
will you wait for me?
ongniel again. what joy. if ong seongwoo doesn't debut this friday i'm going to cry so hard. Please debut.
crystallaiz Nov 2014
He was the Weekender Boy
with lips that tasted like salty sea caramel
on lovely Saturday mornings
and caresses that felt like soft warm sunbeams
on lazy Sunday afternoons

Mondays she sat behind him in lecture halls
watching the back of his black-haired head
as he flirted in the front row seats

Tuesdays were him walking past her bench
pinning her in place with those glacier blue eyes
that always turned away to porcelain redheaded dates

Wednesdays it was his calls that came at 3:05AM without fail
and she'd listen patiently to his drunken rants and giggles
that sometimes ended in tears and incoherent apologies

Thursdays he exhaled alcohol breaths one-two-three-four
while laying her down across his green vintage car hood
gentle as she moved lithe and languorous beneath him

Fridays they broke dorm rules and shared a room at night
they stayed up over beer and banana milk
and at sunrise she'd wake up in his arms to his smiling eyes

He was the Weekender Boy,
and she was the only girl who ever owned him on weekends.
Wrote this while overseas in Seoul! I could have done more justice to the idea of a weekender boy, but I'm -somewhat- pleased with this~

credit to my cousin for inspiration that came from his whatsapp status; he'll never know this anyway ha
crystallaiz May 2017
i keep running but
the storm is closing in
the wind blows me around
like the fallen red flowers
that chase my footsteps
i'm burning from the inside out
but save me from the rain
i don't want these bloodstains
drying out in my death
i don't want anything from myself.
crystallaiz May 2016
somehow, slowly
I fell out of it
maybe it was when
I opened my eyes to
prettier things, like
bicycles parked under
trees bearing red leaves,
like the way the willow branches
fell next to the lake, like
looking out of the window
at 6am and seeing the sky
light up, like
feeling the sun after the rain
the sweet humidity
maybe it was during all of those
moments, or maybe it was none
but I accidentally fell out of it
with you
I learned that promises made in vulnerability are like butterfly wings, pretty and fragile and do not last. I'd like to say I miss you, but the truth is, I really don't, and I'd like to say I'm sorry for that, but the truth is, I'm really not.
crystallaiz Mar 2019
when you walk away
i'm still head over heels for you
still feel my heart skip a beat
still feel my stomach dropping out
like that time we went on the roller coaster
and i saw the skyscrapers upside down with you
i still feel the butterflies
still think about the what-ifs
still wonder what i did wrong
still think about you
but you're walking away
and i don't know how to go after you
it hurts. like really really really hurts and i don't know why it hurts so much. i can't do anything because i'm just thinking about you all the time and i want this to stop
crystallaiz Jul 2016
he used to be king of a kingdom
but now he is a wreck
ocean waves will stop his strides
then break his bones;
even so he is a colossal wreck
the kind that looms in the
inky-black depths
majestic
haunting
to tear away from him
is unthinkable
(he used to be unsinkable, too)
oh my. thought ***** again. this piece is for my current-favourite character in a short story i am writing for kicks. the first line is not mine, it's a lyric from Forest by TOP. accidental references to titanic? it was never in my mind when i wrote this.
crystallaiz Dec 2014
I have your (our) CD on my walkman
It's playing
all our fears and regrets
all our promises and dreams
It's playing the past
before people left
before we left
before everything
started to change.
I just wish I were there at the start. Because now, I can't even cry to justify the memories.
crystallaiz Jul 2016
they say
hindsight is 20/20
and I learned it for myself
today when I saw her
calling your name
too late I realised
I wish I had reasons
to just feel the shape
of your name
inside my mouth again
i thought i was over this stupid crush, but no. i wish i had been braver.
crystallaiz Jan 2016
see the scatter of tea grains
in the bottom of
plain white porcelain
hold your breath and tip the water
watch the steam rising
pale specks swimming
fold your legs and lift the cup
sink into the weightlessness
of this ancient beauty
can you almost taste the history?
crystallaiz Mar 2016
today I am thinking of you again

the sky is thundering
there is a scent of rain
lingering in the still air
it's called autumn rainfall
the country you're in now
but not here
all year round, it's
it's summer rain here
full of wet green grass
and I'm sitting outdoors
watching sunbeams
shine through patches of cloud
but I'm thinking of
a different kind of rain
with dark grey skies
red-gold leaves chasing
in a circle, long scarfs
flying and coats flapping

today I am missing you
rain rain rain

— The End —