Years of being bullied
Being called all sorts of
Of names
Getting in all sorts of fights
Pulling all sorts of pranks
On my torturers
The grim *******
Alex, Karen and jennifer
Has nearly lead to
Me dead on day
In Guantanamo Bay
I wish I lie
But that was what I was threatened
With
Given the choice of life or death
I chose life and became a yakuza
It was only for my only safety
But I learned some lessons on the way
The hard way

When I think of the book box
I think if not just material
Items.  But things that give you
Joy and happiness as well as
Intelligence.    To be honest
When I crack open the fruits of
This box!  I see that I am smiling
As I am learning
And being happy
Visit one of these box’s one day
I swear you won’t regret it

This is a memoir

Of how my thoughts

Are so film noir

These thoughts both

Beautiful and horrific

The idea of being human

Is to overcome it all in the end

Both the beautiful and the horrific

Think about that

As the vampires dance in the night

They sing a tune and that tune

Rock lobster, rock lobster

The chant until the night is done

And the belly’s full of blood

Rock lobster, motion of the oceans

He was in a Jamin a giant clam

They sing hoping to attract more

And fresher meat!

Boooooooooooooooooooo!

The memories I had of my father are
The following as I look at the night sky
And the Big Dipper, I remember my father
Teaching me about the constellations,
Planets and other things in the night sky
As I read a book I remember him
Teaching me  to read though Stephen King’s
The stand, and goosebumps
As I watch tv or a movie
I remember him teaching me
About the appreciation of the
Performing arts
This are lessons I will never forget
As he is in the spirit world!
Thank you Peter Melanson

I must say
Though I am
Just a suthsayer
Not supersain
But this I say here
With a beer (non alcoholic)
In my hand
There are to
Types of memories
Milfs :
Memories I’d like to forget
And then there
Are glimmers:
The real good stuff
That you should remember
But I am just saying
Human to human
As a starseed
Not a supersayen

Midnight blue
The the blue that is magical
As it is like a wizard's robes
This I say it exposed the stars
And the moon as it is really its
To say that midnight blue
Is not really blue is not a facbut a superstitious
Thing to thing
The superstition mountains
A North americn treasure is
Indeed a haunted pleasure too
As you go up they poke holes
Into the midnight blue
Giving way to the eerie
An supernatural
Goings on in the superstition
Mountains
Be it cloudy or clear
See the bug dipper spill beer
As a ufo flies past you
This colour of blue is
Nothing more than a superstition
Or too
To think that the mountains are not haunted
You are living a fantasy

I am a misfit since age 14
I used to have friends before then
But they all turned out to be fake
I was a misfit since age 14
But that don’t mean broken
Crayons can not colour
Of  I am a misfit….
Not dead
I have  been a misfit age 14
Being misunderstood  for
Everything and everything
But this I will say now I am
36 and I am no longer a
Misfit
I am a someone who matters
With I fit in or not

I am multi coloured
As in multiethnic
For I am arab,
Chechen, Roma,
And central Asian
Himalayan and Uighur
But that has been me since
I always all over the ****
      M
                       A
  P
That is my DNA
Hence I am multicoloured

As I feel asleep
After a stressful
Coffee feel day
I find that I see mushroom clouds in the distance
An omen of
What is  going on
This impending war
This impending hatred towards our fellow man
This empending genocide
This I will not stand for
I have has these prophecies
Of this
Since age 14
Now it 13 years later
Or so i still
Receive
Mushroom clouds in the distance
Like evil psychedelic shrooms that
Are from hell!
What we need is more security
More love for each other

I was going to the high computer literacy class
A class that I despise
A class that I dread
I go and sit but .....
It was the last time I sit for all of eternity
As I sit  out taking a breath
I don't feel my heart beat
I was sitting lifeless  in my chair
Some of the students noticed that I was not doing
Anything
The teacher was calling 911 as he noticed that I was not breathing as I just sit there limp
It feels like I was locked in my dead body, my soul that was!
I cannot enter the spirit world and as I try to enter. The realm
I am just at the borderlands
I wish I could move but I could not
Soon they realized what I already know
That I was dead and in limbo!  As they realized this they call
The medical examiner instead
Because I ain't breathing
Then I was taking to the morgue
As the drive I scream
"It's the ******* classes that caused my death
The ******* stress and boredom
The fact that I was deciding to break free!"
But what the does the driver say nothing  as I try to be heard!
I am processed and borough in for autopsy
The medical examiner said this ....
"Who do we have here today!"
She looks at my papers and said my full name
Elena Melanson
Before she could get the scalpel I tell physically make sounds
Telling her he exact cause of death
"It was that ******* computer lit class
That killed me, it borded and
Stressed me to death!"  
She finds this remarkable that I would be able to talk with
My own voice
Then for the last time my soul hits the boarder lands
And goes right to the spirit world
And that was when my body went limp for the last time
Had I found peace? 
I am from dearh's cold grip and I find that I am
In a perpetual summer with
Wild followers all over the place
It seems peaceful and I go to the light
I am at peace!"

Yes, shamanism involves the belief that a shaman's soul multiplies after death, with each disembodied spirit carrying the shaman's soul image:
After death: When a shaman dies, their personal spirits disperse back into the forest and on the mountaintops.
Soul multiplicity: Each disembodied spirit becomes a carrier of the shaman's soul image.
Shamanism is a religious practice that's often associated with Indigenous and tribal societies. Shamans are believed to have a connection to the otherworld and the power to: heal the sick, communicate with spirits, and escort souls of the dead to the afterlife.
Shamans are also believed to have the ability to: foretell the future, advise on the whereabouts of game animals, predict impending catastrophes, and control the forces of nature.

When inwas in High-school
My mom compared my
Writing to Virginia Wolf
For I was alover the place


When I was in high school
I got a taste of the Sims 4
I did not like that game
The green diamond ****** me off


When I was in high school
I was given the first hint
About my Asian
Ancestry by my father

A lot has happened when I was In highschool

As I tried to sleep
The full moon is saying
Never more
Quoth the moon
As I have a nightmare
…..nevermore
When I have joyous thoughts
At night
Quoth the moon
….. Nevermore
When I sleep a stressful day away
Quoth the moon
……Nevermore!!!

Form my father I learned about the night sky
But alas I did not
Think that learning from the nights sky about life
The stars are always there
Hidden by the day
The moon shows that we can have phases
The sun
Ups and downs in life
And that to find your way home
The Big Dipper
Will point you the right way!
This is not what I expected to learn from the night sky
The idea of being human

What a nickel to spend 

At the recycling centre

But I rather keep this coin

I name it Nikki 

As I found these 

Are getting rarer and rare 

By the day

 As I find that

It makes me more 

Insecure about society

This is an ode to freedom
To be free of you finally
Means I am free from the
Risk of an orange jumpsuit
For I am free from all the
Hate and anger
That was consuming me
Like Ebola!

Oh hell
That is a strong way
Start the day nothing
Good come from anything
That’s stars with hell
So say you
Flip the script

Oh hell
That is a strong way
Start the day nothing
Good come from anything
That’s stars with hell
So say you
Flip the script

Oh I am just an x-file
A freak of nature
Oh I am a girl
Oh I am a girl
But no one gives a ****

So I am just an x-file
Haunting the streets
Hoping for the best
Oh I am just a girl
Oh I am just a girl
But no one care

Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
I am just an x-file
Just hanging out
Hoping to be the next punk
Oh I am just a girl
Oh I am just a girl
But no one cares
One one cares

So I was shoveling snow
For no more then money
Oh no the snow!  But I was
Able to see and hear
The kid screaming with glee
As the re was a fresh snow fall
That shovelling session payed
More then just money
But joy and glee too

This I say on friendship
That the only down side to friendship
Is that when will the betray you
Is that when do the break your
Heart
For this is the springer show
Note the dope show as
There will be trauma
And drama

Pain is unpleasant
Pain is what you feel
When something is
Not voting your way
But also pain is a sign that your alive
Be great full
For I am dead

As I walk down a rainy street
I see what looked like origami boats
Floating


Float float float
Until the boats
Reach the singularity
That is the storm drain


We all float, we all
Float down
And down we go!

I thought I found love but
Only found my self  dead
On a hotel bed in a ******
Hotel room,
Murderer was the
One who I thought loved
Then I wake up in my own bed room
It’s 2024 and I am safe I think I am
But I am not sure
Memories of a past reincarnation

The first time we kissed
My heart awas a wash with
Adrenaline and love something I did
Not understand for my first 23 years
On this planet.  As you caressed me
All over my body I want to be with
You and only you.  But you were
Married to you job.  My love
For you was forbidden, how I
Wanted with you  for my self
But can I …..

I never really noticed you for the simple fact that
That men grab at me all the time, when you do I
Thought you were one of them but…..I felt the
Love in your touch….. turn around and see you with your
Darkly and dangerous good looks  I want ed to talk to you
But I had to finish my dance after that I talked to you … you
Kiss me softly as well as well as your touch I still don’t know
Much about you.   But yet I loved  you being with me
Or love I thought was going to last that was until
You said that we could not I insisted to be with you
That drove you insane, the idea of being with me
Instead of you job
It hurt more than you strangling me
Why this betrayal of me
As I stilled loved you to the last breath

People don't understand me
For I have been to the spirit
World and back

People don't understand me
For I see ghosts
From the other side

People don't understand
The fact that I am sensitive
The call me names


Insane
******
And spazz

Don't the lyrics know their words hurt

As I walk around 

I see that there in 

A crack of cement 

Is a plant growing

As I find that the plant is struggling 

I water it

And help it grow 

Soon there are buds on the plant

A flower




It’s a poppy

Doing the impossible

There are stark similarities
To the amount of color
In both
And I say both Christmas and
Pride
As the have thr same colors
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Indigo
Pink
Alas one is in the day
The other lights up the night

I might not be FBI
But I do know and see
Evil when the zit pops up
As I see the same zit of evil
I see a constellation of behaviour
That is unique to the person
But I have seen to much evil in
My life
You can not fool me
You can not call me heartless
If I smell the stink of evil

As I write 

I am not going to lie

As I have

Being suffering 

Since October 15, 2024

If wasn’t it just me that suffered

But everything in my life 

At that

The pain I am going through is similar to 

Rendition 

Guantanamo 

Or Abu giahib 

I am wish I was laying as this 

Is what grief will do to you 

Emotionally detain and torture you!

To say this I must say proudly
I am who I am and I will be
A human being as well as
A starseed
For that Is what I am
I am who I am I say
Take it or leave it
But to sat thru I must say Proudly
I am a good person through and through
Isn’t that what matters

Leanna Hirstwood
I remember not fondly
For she started as  friend
The became an enemy
With a few words said
The black mailing started
To hurt me
But my friends the most
Only to find out
That she was supposed to be
Of integrity
Little of that she had

When I was a little kid
I compared my self to Bart
Simpsons as well as Albert Einstein
What a fine thing to say
But this was the driving force of
My actions
And reactions
To things that went on with this world
A gifted  but misunderstood human
I have become
Now I find out
What I had was not a curse
But the gift

These are the words that I despise
I shall not tell you
What words
Nor why I hate these words
For they are
Hateful
Evil
And
Just plain stupid
To say
Why do people say offensive
Slurs
I will never know

In the distance I hear sirens in the night
As the clock strikes 1830
I hear the eerie sounds that
Sound like air raid sirens and then a news real
And some buzzing
I dare not to look out the window as this monster
Can mimic human voices
Thus every day on the dot
At 1830 I hear these ghostly sirens in the dark distance of the night
With in the forest beyond the window
Is a terror that is beyond comprehension
Something that is beyond nighmarish
But more ghoulish
To be honest I (f)ucking hate the end of the day
For this will
Never more
Come and take me away,

The sky
Either friendly
Or hostile
As the weather changes
Like our personality
We change for the better
And sometimes the worse
But in nature she
Shape shifter for sure
Ever so changing

The thing I
Love about shovelling
Snow is seeing
It spark and fall in
The sun light
As it glimmers
I love to see the snow fall
Heavily and gracefully in the
Evening
Snow is annoying
But it’s beautiful

This you need to know
That shamanism
That Wiccan
And pagan are the idea of natural
Healing
The 3 great nature based
Religions are not about
The devil but instead about
Curing and healing the sick
Helping people through nature
And spirituality but it is
Not about demons nor the devil
Just thought you should know!

I am sorry
So so sorry
For what I did
But I am
Fearing that you
Will be unforgiving
Yet again
I am sorry
So so sorry
So so sorry
That I am getting fed up
With our ‘ship’
Is tanking
I am sorry
So so sorry
So so sorry
Beyond comprehension
For what I have done

The spectres of the past 

That haunt me 

Causing me extreme pain that 

I feel I can not handle 

At the moment 

But I know I 

Will oust these ghosts

From my life

Not the other way around

As I bump my head and thought I was going to have a
Concussion but that concussion
Turned into spilled brain rot

Spilled ink
Isn’t about tattoos but it is
About pain and emotion
The feeling that get spilled
In the creative process
But will be a pain to
Repair that is spilled ink
When you  put your heart
In everything

I am always all over the emotion
Wheel when I am creating
And spilling ink
As I feel the full scope of the
Emotions
Like carrying a child to term
It is joyous and painful
And yet I do it every **** day

As I spill my ink
I feel like an octopus
Ink every where
But I still have to design that
Tattoo
And write this poem
Though painful at times
Emotionally
It will be well with
The spilled ink

When I sleep I
Enter a mysterious world
That is closed off to most
Of the living
You could call it a dream
Nit a dream its not
It's the spirit world
There I have done more
Benefit the negativity
There in this haunting
World is of
Great beauty
Great pain
And surreal

Stacking is fun when stacking
A bunch of septum rings
To make your nose look
Cute
But that is just me
I hate fitting in
Though I would thousands of
Years ago

Stargazing is an affirmation that our problems
Are as small as can be for the universe is bigger
And more mysterious then the future at head
To be honest stargazing is a testament of
The curiosity  of the human race and
The creative and destructive force of
Nature, be it on here or in the universe
This is my church
This my worship
Stargazing at night

As i look up in the sky
A sky that is night
I see beautiful things to take
Pictures of these wonderful
Stars and constellations
As I do my phone filled up and
Soon I am stargazing with my phone
As I do so I find that life is easier
With the phone instead
If a telescope
When I look at my pictures
The beautiful spheres are
Captured forever
On Facebook and Instagram
What wonders the universe
Has to offer us.