>The sky roars as the thunder explodes, the storm collides in my every memory of waking thought, I seem to clash as the change of season happens as abruptly as my change of emotion.

<I am plummeting to the bottom of the ocean
Drinking in the salty sip
Rising high as the commotion
Riding the low and the wavering dip.

>My focus seems obscured, scrutinized with every drip.
Drip drop...
Drip drop...
Lost. But still standing, the question is how.
Because every universal structure has me be-dowered.
The ocean holds many highs, ones that are forbidden.
Forbidden as the eyes can see.
But to me, I stare blindly, waiting to breathe.

<Unto the unknown
Unto the breach
Splitting at the seems
The why's
The where's
The how's
Are those my dreams?
Will warmth conceive?
O' come back to me

>Thoust lay beneath, I try to see,
I perceive with the eye of the cat, the mental stamina of a bird.
But lost in the eclipse, there's no looking back.
Pushing forward, I make my move.
Lips on focus, biting them as I inhale the atmospheric scent.

<Mystical indulgence
String of pearls diamond droplet around my neck
Gypsy traveler drifting between each breath
Spirit at the helm
Moon bound
Earth to the ground
Cat lives left
If I fall
Faith will stand again
Wingspan stretched out
Sun set

>Sun so far, it seems so near.
Sun so near, it seems so far.
Breathless, but still in sight, I reach over and feel the delight.
As darkness and pain is madness, so is light and healing.
Everything corresponds together and creates the balance.
But I write, "hello darkness my old friend''
The paper drifts away, as the sun rays hit my face
The string of pearls rest against your neck, as the master of puppets arrive, we soon begin our test.

<Our hearts write the line
Then,
silence.

The haunting creeps up on you...
Eats you inside and devours every piece of your sanity.
The eyes stare in a long craving...
Holding you down till the depths of your despair.
Begs you to open up your mouth, till close, you cannot because of ripped open jaws.
The evil lingers onto you like a curse...
Claws...
they scar you and create a burden of dread.
The itch...
Painful and gory.
Your soul...
Empty and cold.
Ancient and old...
Dead in misery...
The deep dark hole,
Minds amputated in brainwashed delusions...
The craft of witchery,
A long lost mystery...

I understand the dead
I understand the living
I understand the unborn
I understand the other world

I myself is strange and unusual.
I fear life, but not death.
Instead, I embrace death, because living is pure hell.
I scream inside every single day.
My face shows a smile, expressionless, opposite of my soul.
I describe what I feel with words, because I cannot speak, I cannot verbally express how I truly feel.

Demons, are not to be feared.
They do what they do because of emptiness and loneliness.
I wish I were a demon...
The feeling of wanting to possess merely comes about.
I am a soul that feels empty and incomplete.
I am insecure
Demons do what they do because it is the only way they know.
I feel bad for them, as I know how they feel, even if feel, they do not.

We are ghosts living in a skeleton and muscle cell...
So what is there to be afraid of?
Fear the unseen and unknown I do not.
Just because we are seen, why not fear?
Fear the living more than you should fear the non-living.
Humans are destructive and corruptive.
The dead are lonely and indecisive.
Humans destroy, which create envy and hate.
The dead do what they do...
out of insanity and revenge.

My perspective on the beings in the other dimension creates an opinion I want all to see...
Why fear the dead?
When life itself is more scary and strange...

>It burns in me the love that couldvé formed. The erotica that couldvé been extablished, the depth that could've been formulated. But you left, and all I'm left with is your unwanted scars and burdens that are not mine. The grass is wet and the sun is hot, but my soul is in pain and lingers for yours. **** me like you hate me, but, kiss me like you miss me.

<I started to love and the love that surrounds me can be as deep as a cannon that has been created but I'm not left with my left eye. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul is sick and sick for you · · · You miss me as much as you love me, zeitgeist / ts?t???st, z?t???st / name for Valerie's Dictionary. You hate me as I do condoms; However, as the story evolved through thoughts and thoughts, a specific period of time in the spirit of emotional zeitgeist in the mid-nineteenth century: Zeit 'time' + geist 'spirit' is in German. There is love within me that engenders inner love. But I apologize for my injuries. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my life will be tormented. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you." There is a love that can be formed in the depths. But give me some scars. The grass is wet and the sun is very hot, but my soul stays in it. I do not know if you do not like me, but you say: "I'm not telling you."

>I'm not telling you, But I'd love to whisper the words that conform to your being of thoughtless scrutiny. Whisper back in a silent forecast and let your words be heard by me. As the wet grass sinks in the sand, I see our love has sunken too. Nothing but the pain to hold onto. You love me, but is it enough? I love you, and it's enough. Your love is poison and it's intoxicating to my existence. Like a harsh summer breeze that is hard to foresee, can I still write my feelings without thinking I am delusional, ought to be. Love me hard but your toxicity stands in the way, as your feelings en-dour, my love stays true. A consistent loyalty that leaves a bruise. Before you know it, you left, as you said you would. Cut me out like a harsh knife that needs no razor blade, like a clean slice, you just left me in your scars. But with that pain, for some reason, even if I have let you go, I still love you.

<Cut my heart out with a knife or razor blade for a clean slice, just leave your mark.

>Leave your mark but don't leave a scar. Bury your sacred existence elsewhere and leave me to live and love on my own. It's suffocating, it buries my soul, without you, I am free to breathe on my own. The sun is hot, the grass is wet, without your love, I feel free, not dead, consumed by other things, like my mind itself.

Shallow water, streppling at my feet.
I see your eyes, glazing, as your heart beats.
Your skin changes, almost transforms into an iridescent colour spectrum of beautiful scales.
I look into your gleaming eyes, starstruck, and filled with wonder.
I try to grab hold, to touch, to feel.
But you dive back in and swim away.
I feel disheartened, but I don't fret, or take it personally.
I walk away, footsteps quaking silently on the still earth.
Blue, tranquil, soft and sensitive.
I wait upon your appearance in the darkness.
My eyes are dry, and cries are not heard.
My heart is broken.
I am starving, I haven't eaten now for days.
Your eyes had me mesmerized.
I can't go back now, especially after how entranced you made me.

My clothes are torn, and half stripped.
I have been fighting in this battlefield alone.
All the men have been killed.
I managed, I didn't back down.
They were after your power, your magic.
I had to get rid of them so they wouldn't take you.
I got hurt, badly, but it was worth my suffering.
I cried, whilst looking down, completely broken down.
Then I heard footsteps, walking nervously towards me, like a shadow.
I couldn't bare to look up, fear over took my emotions, I felt breathless.
Then a face appeared in front of mine.
...

A light so bright, I burn at a height.
A fire raging inside with a passion to fight.
I feel the flames, ignite as I let myself be free, from this cage.
Untamed, unhinged, a warrior, the battle within.
Every scar, every stitch, every sting...
It tortured me, wounded me, yet I am still burning.
However, I feel the loneliness still.
I still wish I had someone, to love.
Intimacy I crave, deep emotion, a love so purely impure it could burn the shadows.

My passion and fire within, it needs someone to burn with.
Or am I to be alone?

A light so bright, I burn the shadows.
Yet, she's fighting alone.
Conquering alone.

Where is my love?

"Do you have a lighter? Am I dancing **** yet? Are you watching me because I move alone?"
Well, look a little harder, because as glass reflects on me I reflect back revealing the other side of me.
Two-sided.
She dances with ease.
Do you feel the pain because it's pain that I unleash.
I am the inner workings of your mutability.
I switch up as I am never at true peace.
Look at me, watch me...
Feed on me as I feed onto you.
The perplexities of my intentions are at it's core when I move.
Lost, but just a crazy ***** with the master ability to play with your mind baby.
Do you see it?
I do.
And she's nasty.
Taste her, lick her, **** her.
She's the dark side of me and she's waiting to play.
Tear me up like I'm your doll and grasp onto my insides like the strings have been attached so the grip cannot lose itself in your sins of your sinful embellishment.
Dress me up, move me.
You are my puppet and I only want to tease your mind.
**** me like a twist of your mad insanity.
Play with me.
Taste me, and watch me because, I move alone.

My soul is trapped.
My ghost is lurking, floating like a lost cause.
A curse only I know, a curse that destroys every minute of my waking life.
I have yet nothing more to do, to become, to complete.
I am cold, shattered glass withered into the dark abyss where the lonely serpent sleeps.
Eternity has no name for the darkest of times I recall as to what I have lived.
Living an immortal life, I want to be gone.
I want nothing in a human form.
The night sky energizes me.
I gaze upon and dance crudely.
The airy breeze in the dark wind.
Like the spirits wavering around floating with me.
I see nothing but the darkness it all brings.
As black as night, as black as death.
She works in the shadows, haunts you as you do her.
Sees you and watches you.
If you onto her, she's way onto you.
Her presence of hopeless sad cries.
A lonely star, of death and cold air
A black heart, wild and can't be tamed.
She's screams, in silence.
Nightmares lurking beneath.
You see me, but I don't see me.
I don't know me.
An energy of dark forces, working with the ones who bring agony to life.
Frozen inside, without a trace, without a fortude of light.
I have become my worst nightmare.
The goddess of death.
Paint it black, as black as the night, as black as death.

My soul is screaming
My wounds stay open
The scars have not healed
I am dead inside

My soul cries for the grave
Show you the rage I am feeling
Empty, lost, can't find myself, lost in my lie

Without the mask, where will I ******' hide?
Blurring and stirring, the truth and the lies...
Winged, but cannot fly

Dark, morbid, incomplete and burdened

The screams of my soul are forever echoing...
Bury my lost soul in a grave of emptiness
Lonely
My dead soul
Wounds ache in dark sympathy

It’s beautiful, a feeling of pure darkness and intensity.
It’s freeing, like a raven in a cage waiting to break free.
It’s dangerous, opening yourself up to such a matter of inner conscious.
Losing self control and letting yourself go.
The dead sleeps still, the graveyard whispers pain and sin.
It’s midnight, I’ve been in this beautiful place for so long.
It’s peaceful, like I am one with the dead of night.
I felt something I didn’t feel in a really long time.
I felt like I belonged, like the spirits surrounded me in welcoming peace.
At first I felt a heaviness, a blockage in my throat.
They felt threatened, thinking I was invading their space.
When they realized, I’m one of them, just another lost soul.
Lines and lines and wired times.
Fading into the abyss and getting high.
The spirits communicate with me, I can feel their energies like an instant magnetic pull.
I can feel their pain, their sadness, their hardships, their madness. I can feel it all, and I soak in energies like a sponge, I can’t help it. Intuition kicks in and I can’t even block it.
It’s intense and beautiful, the fog and misty air.
The dark light, and despair.
I FELT EVERYTHING
It was the best experience I’ve ever had in a really long time.
The graveyard in the back of the church, where true love sleeps, souls stay forbidden, sacred, ridden in deep.
A hidden passage way to the unknown and discreet.
I finally found where I belong, for I am a lost soul, buried six feet deep.

You got a fire inside, but your hearts so cold.
I tried to wash you away, but you just won't leave.
I know you're gonna keep on haunting...
Until I leave, until you can't have me.
Until I become spineless, and immoral, like you.
Maybe I subconsciously called upon you.
Maybe my desperate cries for help brought upon you.
Something I can't seem to let go of.
What is my emptiness without you.
What am I without you?
What am I ever to become!!!??
****** eating in the rummaging chaos of this reckless mind.
Do not come near...
Or maybe I do...
But my darkness, my loneliness, it called you.
I do not know what you are, and how you are helping me in any way.
But I feel you, and feel your presence.
Your dark truth eating away at my lies.
No one else can hear me, everyone else fears me.
Maybe I am possessed by you.
Maybe I am nothing without your deadly being.
Maybe I am you, and you are me.
You followed me for a reason.
I begging you, to keep haunting.
They cried out, "please stop, you're scaring me''
I can't help this toxic energy.
**** right, you should be scared...
Who is in control?

Dismantled, distressed, distractions by thoughts.
When I am alone, the thoughts creep up.
Is it real? Or are they my feelings?
I want to bury myself, hide forever.
Hopeless, maybe I should walk on heated burning stones, to feel something.
Noises around me...
It's so quiet.
Back inside, my cocoon, it's safe.
No one can find me, hurt me.
Forced to interact with people, even when I don't want to.
I have to go to work, and talk to these lifeless sheep like they mean something, detached in my interactions.
LEFT ALONE.
I love it.
Stones on the floor, I stare deep into the ground, cover myself in mud, burn me alive.
I ingulf in the flames.
The final isolation.
Solitude is complete.
I want to be alone forever.
Dancing in despair that I seem to rid myself harder into like hitting myself into a wall.
I wish people did not exist.
I wish I was alone forever, really.
I am intertwined in my web, meticulously designed and intrigued into one.
I want to stay, hibernate forever in my coven.

No one around, no one in my business, no-one in my space.
I want alone.
Leave.
I DONT LIKE PEOPLE.
Being forced to go to work tomorrow is a drag.
End the nightmare, the bottomless choas and lonesome feelings I endour

Written spells and locked doors.
Mental dispels and cursed flaws.
Aching tensions and delusional illusions.
Illusive dreams and paths to explore.
Wide awake, like a bat...
My mind is on high alert, it never goes to sleep.
Constant mental chatter, an over-active mental state.
It is eternal and I live in the misery and learn to control it.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
My mind is it's own person, it's own monster.
It opposes different ideologies, beliefs, and conflicts, into one.
I question my mind and talk to myself like a mad clown.
Conversating in my own form.

Boundless amount of wit and seedless unpleasant jokes.
Dark and uncensored, explicit and provocative.
A ***** tongue with **** lips to make you want to play with me more.

But am I really what you desire?
Or have you created your own storm.
Do I reflect you?
Or do you just reflect yourself through me.

Smile through the misery, you can't die with a serious face.
Stitch up the corners and pull it up high so you never have to cry again.
Maybe I am you, or maybe I am just suffering through my own madness.
Maybe my madness has become someone else.
My actions of contradictory displays.
But you love me though...

Lets play

I think I'm ****** gone, rollin on this floor.
Messin up the carpet, I'll get on it after 4.
Obsession to the form.
Can't believe I made it, But I made it, that's for sure.
They don't want my love, they just want my potential.
Baby if you knew, the feeling I would give to you.
I'ma play you like a game boy, don't want one, what's the thrill of the same toy.
But it takes one night, to prove, the feeling I would give, to you.
The more I have, the more numbness I circum.
The less emotion involved, the more fun I have.
Addicted to the thrill.
Fun inspires me.
I've always been the **** one they all want.
I give them what they need, but never what they can have, because, I will simply leave.
Leave you wondering.
...
Life of the party.
I go down town with the drugs in my body, filled to the top, pain buried.
I taste it, then I throw it.
Welcome to the other side, lust.
Baby step outside your mind.
Just take it down low.
If you wanna do it baby, I'm ahead with you.
You can follow me...
Take that step, you're the life of the party.
...
I got two ladies, I got one little room, there's a room full of ******, baby what you wanna do
... ?

In bed, stuck.
Limbs are numbs, I feel nothing...
Only pain surging.
A slow bolt of emotions and lonely feelings.
Oversensitive and pouring my eyes out every moment I feel my eyes get wet.
I want to do, nothing.
No will, energy lack.
Motivation is zero, I feel lethargic, tired of everything.
I ask, why must I suffer and go through this pain?
A toxic neurotic ***** for a mom, and no way out of this mess.
I say to myself, tomorrow I need to wake up and study, maybe apply for some jobs.
Nothing.
I still wake up only to go back to sleep again.
No action to strive.
Down at the bottom of the pit.
I've lost, become nothing, and want nothing.
Passion and desire all lost.
Nihilistic and no point to give a ****.
Gone.
******* all.
I want to die in this darkness.
The loneliness and exhaustion takes over.
I want to stay in bed all day.
Do nothing.
I'm dead.
Pure nihilism until my corspe begins to rot, ripened and turned to ash and soil.
Nothing but dread.
I want **** all.
I want to die.
Keeping my curtains closed, away from the sun and light.
No hope and no will.
My soul has enclosed.
I don't know what to do anymore, what I want to do anymore.
I don't want to do anything actually.
I want to just lie here, and wait to die...
Slowly, but surely.
I hate my family, I want nothing to do with those fake narcissistic spineless cowards with souls that stink of stail ****** protruding ***** 🤢
I have to money, nowhere to go.
No motivation and passion to get me going.
I am like the grinch, the joker, Harley Quinn, the raven, catwoman, and a lion all in one.
However, now I am nothing.
Not even human.
Not even breathing.
All I want is someone to connect with deeply.
I've been alone for so long I don't even know how to get attached to anyone.
I stay completely detached and alienated.
Completely isolated and away from people.
People only make me feel more lonely.
I only want that one person who understands.
I don't want worthless fools of Shallow ****** people to even try to understand me.
I like to be not understood.
How can you expect a big foot to fit into a small shoe?
It never will unless you break your ****** ugly toes.
Or, get a bigger size.
My point exactly.
People are so ****** obsessed with me and my energy.
I want nothing to do with any of them.
They can't help but pry, and stalk, and watch my every motive like a hawk.
It's ****** head drilling!!
Stay the **** away!!!

I only want one person, the person who is for me and only me.
I don't give a **** about anyone else

I'm bored, I'm confused, I'm depressed.
I'm in my head and it's creating all types of illusions and disillusionment.
I am perplexed and stuck between many contradictory thoughts.
I am over analyzing, over thinking, and completely consumed by this.
It's painful, I'm in dread.
But I don't want this to be over between us.
It's a painful ending but its temporary.
Boredom leads to many conflictions, resulting in destruction.
I have nothing to distract myself from you.
I'm ****** analyzing, fantasizing, and completely taken out of reality.
Maybe if I had something to do it would be a different story.
Work is slow, they haven't called me back as yet.
I've been sitting at home trying to save money.
I've been bored out of my mind.
Depressed and isolated.
No will or drive to do anything but sit in bed and cry waterfalls.
I am completely hurt and in pain.
All by overthinking.
I just want to do nothing but sleep.
I have no will do to anything else.
I am gloomy, sulky, ridiculed.
I shouldn't be overthinking you or this situation but I am.
I can't control it.
I am stuck in my room 24/7.
No will to go out.
No one to see.
I dont really have any friends.
I am a loner.
I cut people off for valid reasons so I basically have no one left.
No one to talk to.
Maybe this deep connection between us is comforting to me because you the person I can talk to about anything and you always understand.
I see through you.
I feel you at a subconscious level.
I feel your soul, your depth, your emotions.
And I don't just feel this way about anyone.
And it's been years, as stated in my last poem.
So all of these feelings are coming up to the surface again and I don't know how to deal with them.
Maybe I'm just craving your physical presence.
I am so alone and you completely see me for me.
No one else ever did.
But you do.
**** I can go on writing about you Tim, but I shouldn't.
A heart of glass starstruck by your magnitude.
I am in awe.
And I want to be with you.
It isn't over between us.

With a shadow creeping behind me, making every promise empty.
Intoxicating my nerves, I am being chased.
Stalking my forecast, I run at ten speed.
No stopping, I turn around to see a shadow so empty, its mere whispers have demolished into misty ash.
It haunts my every being and stalks my rotten prey.
It displeases my humanity and consumes my lost soul.
I run, run so fast, the lights hit bloom.
Scared, fearful of what it can do, I look down, I see the shadow
...
The shadow was you.

The ghost I'm trying to escape, just keeps coming back.
The feeling is poison, but beautiful at the same time.
The feeling is toxic, but fills my void of loss and emptiness.
You're a bad guy, playing with my emotions and unleashing my toxic tears.
Confusing my feelings and handling me like a puppet.
Why do I love you?
Since you're the master of puppets, you've dominated and learnt to control me.
Let me go.
Or I will turn around, and leave.
Leave you empty, till you lose control.

I feel numb, detached, cold, hardened.
Locked away, kept a secret.
No one to have, no one to talk to.
No one who understands.
I feel alone, left withering.
No one who supports me.
I feel emotionally emotionless.
I feel like dying.
I feel like this anguish will never end.
Left in a prison cell, to rot.
I feel helpless, like I can't breathe, gasping for air, catastrophic.
Help me.
Burnt to ash, cold stone.
No one who understands my pain.
No one who I can trust.
Distant, wavering in lonely distraught.
Tears of blood burn my eyes.
What's next?
Wanting to **** myself but scared of the physical pain that I would have to endure in order to die.
Left alone.
No one to talk to.
No one who cares.
Left to rot, in my prison cell.

I notice it, I notice it's flaws. I see its texture, I witness the shapes and metamorphic coherency's. It's all aligned in a wild pattern. Like walking in a catastrophic maze and never finding the ending.
But to really observe profusely, the maze has its own pattern, agenda.
Screaming to myself, aloud, I express myself grandiosely.
It all makes perfect sense
The missing piece is not missing, it never was, it was merely detaching.
Detaching from all life forms itself, like a cell that does not belong to another.
The maze was juxtaposed in its own creation.
People were too simple to understand it.
The jagged puzzle doesn't need another piece, it just needs a new formula, a new path, a new perspective, it needs to stay jagged in order to create more purposeful moments and inventions.
Complexities reach a higher peak than ever before, if you try to straighten the puzzle and find a piece to fit in it, you destroying its true and only purpose.
You cannot mold or fix something, you cannot sand it down.
You just need to let it be.
It's shapeless, it doesn't need a form, or a label.
It just is what it is to be.
And that is the secret. The contradiction needs to stay as the contradiction in order to invent the expedition.

It's mortifying...
The dilemma, the time lapse, the wait, the clock.
The abstract that I so blatantly describe in my other writings.
Time cannot be paused, stopped...
The abstraction is so formulated into one diverse piece, the creation of such is appealing, yet reformative.
Inconsequential, to the matter of science, myth, philosophy, conduct, and everything that exists beyond our mind.
I hold onto this creation, because the conclusion of the matter holds many intellectual debates that cannot be won or answered.
It is forbidden, it's lost.
The question of right and wrong holds many definitions that are inexplicable to the concept of reality itself, when the utter illusion holds the introspection that philosophers like myself, cannot give a precise answer to.
Time will let us be.

It's a quiet storm, and I've never felt like this before.
Sometimes I think, you're just too good for me.

>walkin in the rain, footsteps shake, head throbs, but I still hear your silent echoes as if they follow me in the dark, my whispers are silent thunders, as if screaming in the past, it won't bring you back.

<I walk on, mud at my feet. Stepping to the trail of my own weathered beat. Nature touches my senses and the space between.

>Always in my headspace, cannot get out, still stuck, cannot move.
Though I found a way out, but you never go away, so I guess I gotta stay. I hope someday I make it out alive, whether it burns or not.

<I'll feel the flames reach higher as I gasp for air
I hope the rain comes and washes away the pain and I can dance freely again
with the sun.

>The sun in my arms, I got no space for air, breathing frantically, I hold out my last to you. But in the distance, as my voice stops, I see a shadow, squinting, eyes nearly closed, I know it's not you.

<It is a part of me
The part I don't want to see
clearly
Running will save no one.

>I'm done, words filtrate, my thoughts are bare. ****, my mind is exposed, no one who cares.

Black dreams as my soul begins to leak
Dark thoughts as I reach a sudden peak

Creek, bury the sacrament.
The woods hold many secrets.
Truths that burden us with psychological pain...

Gain.

The demons have rained

Curses our soul and steals it away from us.
Soulless is my empty feeling...
Dead.
I need thoust no healing.

In the darkness I seek the light

Height.
I look down as my stomach begins to turn.
Twisting knots of intestines and guts begin to pour.

A hole has formed.

Staring...
Down to the pits of hell.
****** hands and discreet bodies as crying screams echo below.
My ears ache.

A mind so real
The depth is at stake

In a locked up abandoned room, stands dead people,
all worn and torn, all helpless and scarcely unknown.
They weep trickles of tears from their eyes, soaking down to their cheeks,
innocent faces and scarred bodies,
invisible to the world and their minds dreadfully drilled, with thoughts of insanity, as they rot inhumanely.

Open wounds and jars of acid, the key lays in one of them, torturous and hardly discredited
It's deadly, and extremely rapid.

Trapped and held back, suppressed and feelings of soul lack,
where the crows die at 3:00am, it's satanic, dark, dull and dim.

Hands burn and screams cry, the jar is black, so they hadn't know in which the key lie.

The secrets within, dark, deadly and too hard to ****** swim.

Weak and demolished, some people collapse in pain and satanic craze, the haze, the daze, thoust peculiar trickles of red rain drops from the ceiling above, rose wine red, depth is dark and foul like jin

It's ****** up...

Our ghosts keep all kinds of secrets, with their hands behind their back and face hidden and covered in black, suppression creates a place of torturous days and weeping eyes of display...
Isolation makes it worse, it creates a lonesome curse...

Treat your ghost well, then the dark won't take over, and make it dreaded and unwell...
Tell...
*All your secrets within

Hidden inside, are the secrets within,
the bland wall has no opening,
The key has disintegrated into tiny pieces, not even, the deadly acid.
The key has sunk inside and has become a part of the acidic death.
Now the lock is unlockable, where the secrets are trapped within.

Writhe not, because the depth consumes it,
deep like an ocean, like the dark world thoust lay beneath  is scarce and feared, hated and discreet, and not warmly deared.

As black as hell, the coral beneath is as red as the dark rose wine, looks insidious, hidden and dwell.
The demons lay beneath and do not seek,
thou seek when the winters are dry, the bare **** trees, and a dead body... in a bed of cries.

Skeleton build with muscle, cells, tissue, organs and fat...
is the book cover that had no key, the body that died in tragedy.
The woman that had no he nor she, lonesome and scared, supressed and helplessly dared.

Dared to die alone, rot and starve, no one gave a ****,
because she was invisible to all and there was no one to whom she could confide.

Her ghost kept all kinds of secrets, even the ones all curable and not in weakness.
She went insane, her mind thoust blood it had rained.
Satanic and the devils child she became,
once was heavens angel, sweet and innocent, and was always at bay.

Parents murdered, home burnt down...
she cried a waterfall, for endless days in her mothers gown.

Lived alone, and never whispered a word...

I've shifted, I'm teleporting
I'm going through a massive spiritual Awakening, my 40millionth one of this lifetime

Purging, releasing, healing trauma wounds
Depression needing to be felt in order for it to be delt with and healed
Feeling emotions and pain
Shape shifting and shedding
Peeling skin again, transformation and rebirth
Reborn into a wild *****
My new skin will be naked and stronger than before.

It's something I need to undergo for my next level.
It's tough, my body is dealing with immense pain and burnout

Soul ascension...
Shifting my 12D self into this reality

I am exhausted, and so burnt out...

But it needs to be done
Sleep, just sleep...

Connect and feel like light codes transcend you ✨️

Ashes and dense walls
Curled up spines and locked doors
Morbid carvings and ****** floors
Dark nights and gory flaws

Hidden from reality and tortured to death,
Starving…
You eat other bodies and drink the blood of their last breath
You have become a monster, Satan’s child.
Insanity takes over, and not so mild.

Kicking and screaming
Punching and hitting
Scratching and cutting
Pain infliction and dreaded decompassion

Given up, trapped in a dungeon of despair.
It is disgusting and foul
Hollow and cold, it’s inside of you…
It’s your empty shallow soul.

A tense tight aching sensation comes about.
My head throbs of pain as the trip kicks in.
I feel like I'm about to be knocked down as my skull cracks open...
I bleed in vain
Shaking, my body has the shakes
This high doesn't feel normal...
As the drugs kick in, my body weakens.
Mind running everywhere, my thoughts are discreet.
Tripped out and faded, lost in another land.
This land is sinful, dark, morbid, wonderful, and unknown to the eye.
Black...
Gone. ****** in the tunnel of darkness.
I have landed in the pool of flames.
The trip gets real when the psychedelics speak the truth
The drug of choice...
As the bird finally frees itself

Your pretensions have you doing wrong.
You misleading yourself into opinions and facts that are brainwashing your own thoughts and integrity.
It's interrogating your thoughts and your actions have you proving wrong.
Are you really who you say you are or are you faking the person you show?
It's mind ******* isn't it...
No one is whom they say they are, but who they say they are is just a clone of them trying to be different, not realizing that they they just like everyone else.
The proven truth is that, everyone is like everyone, not everyone is different, and not everyone can try to be.
Everyone that exists lives off other people, influences, brainwashes and media.
Everyone is trying to be someone else and something they are not.
We call ourselves different, imperfect, significant, and unique.
But the truth is that we are all the same and none of us are unique, we are insignificant is this vast universe.
Just admit that we are all regular people trying to be something we are not.
It's not wrong to admit such, it proves that you are just human and we are all on different journeys, the soul however, the same, the canvas is different, same tears, same form...
Arms, legs, fingers, sweat, scars, veins...
We bleed the same and all wear clothes.
It's fine to be like everyone else, it's okay.
We don't have to different, just, indifferent.
And that is the answer, stop admitting your rights, start admitting your wrongs too.

I want you to feel it.
The pain, the pleasure, the greed, the sin.
Feel it writhe up inside of you.
I want to destroy you.
I want your flesh to peel off your raw skin.
Sin embellishment of lingering thoughts.

Freak out, lose yourself slowly.
Disintegrating flesh turning to ash, to dust, to nothing.
It kills me inside, it's too deep to explain.
I want to **** it.
I want to **** you.
I want to end it.

Tell me the truth?
AM I WHAT YOU TRULY SEE?
Or are you lying to me?

*******

Answer me.
Don't make me wait
You all look the same to me.
NUMB
****** peasants.
Humans **** me off
idiots

Pretentious  behaviour and forbidden thoughts.
Show yourself.

NOW

You all weak to me, stand up for yourself.
Stand up for what you believe in.
Stop being ****** Sheep!!!!!!!!

You hate the truth?
That's why you hate me...
I love it.
Face death in it's ****** face and rip the mask off and build your ****** strength and stop being like everyone ****** else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get off your ****** ***, and make the change.
Before time runs out and you sitting on the street wondering what happened to your kids.

The truth is ****** ugly...
FACE IT

Senses filling up inside of me.
Sensations of bruised mortality.
Jittery explosions.
***** thoughts eating at my brain.
Do I say what is not to be explained.
A shadow overcast, I dare not to speak.
As I see your eyes, your stare, stalking me.
Watching my every motive.
My mind is dared not to be reached.
Darkness, and light, endowered as I reach beyond what I think I could explore, but cannot.
Can I be touched and felt, heard.
For once.
This brick wall, made of stainless steel and cold iron...
But a bleeding heart ripped apart perceiving a dark shadow of a lonely part.
A part of the within, the sorrow.
As she cries, whimpers, drowning in deprecation.
Wounded, still standing with cracks and scars.
Covered in red, of strength and courage.
Awaiting another day in her battlefield of conviction, disruption, and voiceless whispers.
Touch my thighs, lurk within.
Conflicted emotions and wars fighting to begin.
Where is the end?
Where is the peace?
Where is the silk curtain of velour chairs and a room of candle lights and dim...
Where is the light?
I have seen to be astounded.
Pounding every ****** day in the doors in my unrested mind.
The warrior, I lose, then I win.
Yet, I am not to be seen.
Hated for all that I am.
Not to expose what I am fighting for.
My secrets; dark, deadly, and too terrifying to even ****** swim.
Yet, they know me, or they think they do.
They know of what I am showing, not of why I am dying.
Bleeding nostrils, the clocks strikes it's time.
May I only cry to myself.
Not be seen.
Starving, she's unhinged.

**** this city, I wanted to come here, and i really like it here

But the hot dry air

The fatigueness and drainage from the heat
The dry air and damage to the lungs

No energy
The heat is damaging

I would like to go back to my other city, but I also don't want to at this time.
I came here for a reason and I want to continue on with that reason, but the air is so bad that you have to no choice but to sleep all day everyday

Don't get me started on its inhabitants. Corporate, the people like to control others.
It's completely rigid and inflexible

It's home, I grew up here, but why does it have to be like this?

Not bliss, I miss the optimism and hope

Sometimes I think to myself...
Will this detachment ever free me?

These meaningless hookups...
These one night stands...
These flings...

I'm tired of it all.
Will I ever find true love?
Will I ever have an intimate and passionate moment with someone that is based on more than just the physical?
It saddens me to think about.

I crave closeness...
Emotional intimacy.
*** based on love and soul.

Yes I love ***...
But I'm tired of these meaningless situations.
Tired of it all.
I want more

You narcissistic Shallow ***** filled with problems and no substance.
You emotionless toxic *** filled with negativity and constant manipulation.
You ignorant neurotic ***** filled with superficial intelligence and no real depth to cover it.
Manipulate me and use your money against me.
Everything you did, was by your choice.
Not mine.
It's not my problem nor my fault.
I'm living my life, not yours.
I'm not guilty for anything.
I feel nothing towards you.
All your psychological abuse is going to bite you back one day.
All you are is money, nothing more.
Nobody actually likes you or wants to be close to you, as you don't want to be to them.
I don't blame the men in your life for leaving you.
I can't even deal with your excuses and constant *******.
You are nothing, and you never will be.
I mean all I say.
I hate you and I always did.
Fix yourself or break.
The way you treat me will come back to you.
I'm not your *****, and you can't make me not say what I want to say.
You can't shut me down in your narrow mind.
So *******, and let me be.
You project constantly and use me as your dart board, with no real obligation.
Everything is by law or by the book, like you have no actual imagination or real intellect.
You narrow minded empty ***** with no space to fill your worthless voids.
Break me down and shut me down in your problems.
Fat fake *****, pretensious as can be.
Get help.
Because all I want is you dead.

I might just be too good for you, or you too good for me.
So immune to love, so unchangeable.
Will you take me in?
You did many things, that I liked.
And your name deserves to be in my heart.
But you sleeping with a frozen heart and it belongs to someone else.
You made me feel so real, so unacquainted.
You brought the thrill, the risk, the rush.
I live for danger...
I haven't been around town in a long while, with you.
I apologize, but I've been trying to get over you by seeing them.
And you wished me good luck, to find somebody to love.
Honey please, don't leave.
I just might be too good for you.
Unrestricted, so priceless.
I'm everything.
I deserve it.
...
Take me in

Everything I have seen, touched, felt, faced, beckoned to know, and lived...
Is nothing.
The meaningless stance in the fact that my life has no meaning based on constant mental boredom stands as real as the fact that my body exists here as a biological structure.
I see nothing, I feel nothing.
I see pointless obscurities.
I no longer have the need, the want, the desire.
If everything I know is not known...
What can my love be?
I am nothing to this empty distraction called life.
Merely a walking paradox of delusional contradictions.
I stand as alone as my thoughts project.
I feel nothing but music.
THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME ALIVE.
The only thing that gives me feeling.
The only thing that makes me feel.
Intertwined into a lost trap.
I am stuck in this web.
My thoughts, my mind, that nobody can satisfy.
I am empty, numb, isolated.
Drifting off in knowledge only I understand.
All these people are boring.
The sites I see are boring.
The world, the sky.
Nothing excites me.
Once upon a time, I used to be on fire.
Yet, the flame turned to ash and there is nobody, not even me, to bring the spark back.
Dead, lifeless.
Everything around me dies.
I am nothing to this shallow world.
I am not them, neither they are me.
I am just an energy with an increasing amount of questions and knowledge, and nothing to get more from.
I am lost, as my thoughts, they have beckoned me.
I know not less...
Isolated and distant as can be.
Detached and hopeless in this dark cave.
Trapped in my flexed web of chaotic thoughts.

My mind is elsewhere...
and the only person I have on it; is you.
My mind goes back to that night; the way you spoke to me, touched me, looked into me, The way you kissed me...
The intensity and passion between us was so magnetic that even shadows could not bare to lurk.
Obsession, possession, love.
I want it all for myself.
I filtrate your thoughts, you obsess over it, you want to do more than just **** me.
You feel guilt.

Nobody has ever looked at me like that...
The mannerism of it was, was something I have never had or felt before.
I feel his thoughts, pulsating through my every nerve, my desires are not to be obsolete.
Our energies, it's intertwined in a way that I have not with anyone else.
An image, a reflection... Of me.
You are me, and I am you.

I want to feel you again, in person.
I feel you spiritually and it makes me miss you immaculately.
I see you in my dreams, waking thoughts, my soul longs for yours.
I know you feel me, I know you love me, I can feel it.
It's creating a hold of heartache inside of you, you are dared to not even breach because of your priceless ego that stops you from what could make you someone completely different.
You were hurt, and to never trust a woman again was your broken promise you made to yourself.
Yet, you saw something in me when you met me, and decided to run away and treat it for what it was not because of your broken soul that you were not ready to face.
Complacent, stubborn, you already know you are mine, and I already know that I am yours.
I've adapted, but I still think of you.
Profusely, I still remember the gleaming stare in your hazel eyes.

Yet, timing is a matter of precaution...

I don't even have the words to express.
I think about you constantly, without even trying to.
You fill my thoughts with these experiences that I can't seem to get a hold of.
I want to hold you, kiss you, feel you penetrating deeply.
The love I have for you is unimaginable, it's not something even I can comprehend.
This connection, like a strong magnetic pull that burns every muscle in me.

When will I see you again?
Where are you?
You in my thoughts, manifesting me.
This intense pull of entrancing enigma.
It is to burn me to my grave.

Come to me now ❤️

Running thoughts rummaging in chaos.
High alert and low activation.
Instability and confusion in confliction.
I write with uneasiness.
Leave me alone, give me a break.
Let me be.
*******.
I've done enough.
I need a break.
Something to help me get away.
These toxic energies that surround me.
Draining to my every capability.
I need to get away.
I need a friend, someone who will be there.
Someone to get away with, run away from everything.
I've had enough.
Negative people and draining energies.
Get me out of this environment.
It's not good for me.
I need to get out of this chaos, to find peace, love.
Rummaging thoughts and conflicting chaos.
Help me escape this mess.
Toxic to my every being.
My nerves on high.
Panic attacks and anxiety every **** day.
I can't breathe anymore.
Unstable and flighty and constantly fighting with myself.
Up down up down my emotions are running.
On this rollercoaster, I don't feel at ease.
I am not balanced or grounded.
From one extreme to the other, I cannot find the middle.
Overthinking and over-analyzing until my brain explodes.
Black and white, where my complexities stay distracted and contradicted.
I can't sit down and breathe.
Too much going on, too much on my mind.
Set me free, I cannot take this lightly.
I am going off the train track.

Maybe...
It was something I have waited for, for years, maybe even lifetimes.
Contemplating.
I have unwavering thoughts.
Reaching a state of consciousness, higher than before.
Trying to grasp hold, to take it into my hands.
Cannot seem to get it, yet.
I am not surprised, nor astonished.
I am not wildly inspired either.
The information, the clarity, the vision.
I need the facts.
Something needs to be shown to me regarding my family, even though my intuition already knows it.

Push and pull, the romantic union.
It's already here.
But it hasn't knocked on my door, as yet.
I can feel it.
I can sense it.
It's waiting for me to take the leap.

Mixin' up these potions, entering the snake bite into my veins.
Playing you like a puppet as I unleash the venom.
Tell me how it tastes...
Lick it, **** it.
Voodoo dolls playing games at your feet and controlling you like you have nothing to hold onto.
I'll have you, and own you.
I'll be your worst nightmare.
Feel my pain, tormenting you.
Infect you, I'll kiss you, I'll **** you.
Consume me, consume me, consume me.
Bite my venom into you neck as you howl in pain.
Like a frost bite, ice cold as the teeth sinks in.
Worship me, your dark goddess.
Voodoo.
Pinching needles through your chest and laughing at your cries.
Aching, the pain throbs.
The pain you made me feel, back onto you.
She cheated you, the next one died.
Who's doing was that?
Karma?
Step on the glass, staple your tongue.
Cries become mere whispers malevolent to your despair.
Eating cotton candy as your heart begins to tear.
Apart.
I wanna, end you.
Why arn't you scared of me?

The stream pours, the water molds.
The thoughts unfold, mind state hits the lowest peak.
Who is in control?
Is it me or is it the person you think you see?
Is what you see real, or are you staring at own reflection.
Mutable contingencies.
Deformities and formulations of lost ones who try to speak.
Cut out, who are we meant to be in a world that lost its own stakes.
I see it gather like a river, forming its own strategies.
Conclusions, grasping at my twitching nerves that ache with curious desire that forbid me to my own disclosure.
Begging you, can we close what was not meant to be informed?

Just stop, stop holding me.
Let me go.
Selfish, secretive and hollow as a cold lurking shell.
Do you see what you are?
Or are you merely projecting your inner reflections onto my chaotic imagination.
Look ...
Within yourself you are ****** cracked mirror with a ripple of a murky stream of water that pollutes the ground you walk on.
Look ...
Just stare, and let the water stream.

Death is life
Life is death
But nothing ever really dies...
As life continues its tests

I do not fear death...
I fear life instead
I fear living because I may not be a major success.
Yet, I still strive to do my best

I take life like a river that flows...
Slow and steady, not harsh and weary

Life is a game and death is its trophey...
As reincarnation occurs to give you second chances, to complete your souls journey.

Life is never ending, as your corpse rots...
Your soul is ever burning.
We are a spirit in a humans body...
We are ghosts in a seen form.

We are death as we **** mankind.
We are death as we destroy nature.
We are death in our own norm.

"I'm always getting high cuz' my confidence low...
And I'm always in a rush, ain't no time to **** slow
It's not something I don't know...
But I'm sure I'll make you *** do it three times in a row...
And I'm sure you would've left but that ***** in control...
That ***** in control..."

"I like the thrill...
Nothings ever made me feel so real
So don't leave me here alone,
I don't wanna spend tonight alone..."

I will ******* right, til' you tired to leave me
I will do you right...
Until your subconscious got you screamin' my name
Crave me...
Sensuality got you fallin'
I am your void.

Let the madness be the only thing you embrace as your soul craves me like a drug.
There is beauty behind the madness.
Look
Can you see?
Devour your senses I shall...

So tell me you love me,
Just for tonight
For one night only

My soul cries, for it never ends.
Will I be, denied, tourniquet.
My sorry soul.
Lingers in the path of hopeless screams.
Desires that reach no peak and voices that have no meaning.
Blood that spatters in a pool of red liquid.
Like a fountain of twisted nightmares, all gathered into one torn drenched wet coat of seamless stitches.
I wait, but you don't appear.
You wait, but I don't arrive.
Perfect by nature, I endure self indulgence.
Look what you made me.
A worthless bag of a desperate plead.
Have you no shame, don't you see me?
You've got everybody fooled with your filthy lies of manipulation.
Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie.
I don't love you anymore.
You don't know how you betrayed me.
You killed me.
I have NEVER felt pain the way you stabbed it in me.
Through my vessels, my skin, my muscles.
So the revenge I took, and you came back begging.
Remorseless I was, I was too powerful for your burdens.
Stronger I became, and I laughed behind your back in pure happiness and sacrificial power.
You, will NEVER, defeat me.