Could it be
I've never seen
Beauty in me
Took time to reflect
On all that I am
I haven't shared everything I can
On this soul-searching road
The winds and turns
Each corner holds secrets
Each road taken holds challenges untold
Which road you choose is how life unfolds
Some are rougher, Sometimes it's smooth sailing
All the time I've invested in this world
I've come to realise
Each moment is just a piece strung together
In this story called life
I have no wisdom in my words
All I know is I've survived
Yeah, still alive.

Some would say I feel too much
Some would say, I'm too ******* myself
Mistakes I owned them
Haters I outgrow them
There's a whole lot in me
Only a few people see
A light that shines slightly through the cracks
I'm not all bad
And all this strength gathered
Has taken me to heights
Others couldn't imagine
Like a lighter, a little spark
Can ignite a torch
Revealing truths in dark corners
It's all these things
That makes me a lyrical philosopher
Through these lines I conquer

A man made up of scars
Each marks a tale
Each a reminder of lessons learned
I've been through the ringer
Still standing, And I'll still fight
Until my last breath drains all my might
No matter what the world throws my way
I'll always say...          
"Challenge accepted."
Never gave up
I still dream
I still fight my way
Through each day
No matter the odds stacked against me
I'm a raise my head accept the challenges met

Some would say I feel too much
Some would say, I'm too ******* myself
Mistakes I owned them
Haters I outgrow them
There's a whole lot in me
Only a few people see
A light that shines slightly through the cracks
I'm not all bad
And all this strength gathered
Has taken me to heights
Others couldn't imagine
Like a lighter, a little spark
Can ignite a torch
Revealing truths in dark corners
It's all these things
That makes me a lyrical philosopher
Through these lines I conquer

Nothing is going to hold me down
I'm going to dance like a warrior
All these bad habits couldn't be sorrier
All these battles I've won
Some left me scarred
But through this my skin became hard
Got a thick skin, Never cut through it
Got a good heart, shines through in my art
Belief only takes you so far
Have faith, it'll take you beyond the stars
They say wisdom can't be found in bars
In unlikely places, you can find yourself
And accept it is all you are
All that you've become
Water washes over me
Setting me free
All this dirt cleansed from me
You haven't even seen the best from me

Some would say I feel too much
Some would say, I'm too ******* myself
Mistakes I owned them
Haters I outgrow them
There's a whole lot in me
Only a few people see
A light that shines slightly through the cracks
I'm not all bad
And all this strength gathered
Has taken me to heights
Others couldn't imagine
Like a lighter, a little spark
Can ignite a torch
Revealing truths in dark corners
It's all these things
That makes me a lyrical philosopher
Through these lines I conquer.

Don't make me a role model
That I can never fulfil
All I wanna be is an Inspiration
Show people if they stick to it
They can make it
They won't fail if they fight tooth and nail
Revealing truths through poetic paragraphs
Silver linings rising, capture lightning in a bottle
Hard to contain, just striking in ways they don't expect
In life, you'll realise your blessed
If you take a deep look around
And all that surrounds us
Just shows that you can achieve
Be anything you want to be
And all I choose is to just be me
Open up your heart to see.

Some would say I feel too much
Some would say, I'm too ******* myself
Mistakes I owned them
Haters I outgrow them
There's a whole lot in me
Only a few people see
A light that shines slightly through the cracks
I'm not all bad
And all this strength gathered
Has taken me to heights
Others couldn't imagine
Like a lighter, a little spark
Can ignite a torch
Revealing truths in dark corners
It's all these things
That makes me a lyrical philosopher
Through these lines I conquer

©2018 Written By Benji James

VERSE ONE
She's bleeding from her lip
From every time he hit
Can't believe that she
Just turned up on my doorstep
Looking like this
And all that I can think
Is how much I want to **** him
Better help her in
Come on let's get you cleaned up
Tell me what happened
Tell me everything he did
Firstly let me clean the bloodstains
from beneath your lips
Wipe the smudged mascara
from beneath your eyes
Seeing you hurt like this
Hurts me deep inside
Gotta be strong for you
Make sure you're comforted
Reassure you everything is gonna be alright
Meanwhile, body temperatures raising
As anger boils deep within
All these thoughts come flooding in

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE TWO
All these words, I soak them in
All these thoughts
are running up and down my mind
How could she not let me step in
This hurting could stop right here
I'm giving her everything,
She just wants me to sit back
Watch from the sidelines
While she takes on this fight
Why won't she let me stand at her side?
And all of this confusion envelops in me
I'm losing focus, Push this to the back of my head
Need to take care of her here and now
Because she needs you here most
I carry her into the bed tuck her in
As I crash back on the couch
All of the things she said to me replay

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE THREE
As I wake the next morn
I go to the bedroom to check on her
I see an empty bed well made
on the bedside desk, a neat note laid
Saying thank you for everything you did
Repairing and mending me back to health
I couldn't have a better friend
Sorry I left before you awoke
Just had to get home
Just want you to know
I'm thankful and grateful for all that you are
You'll always be the brightest shining star
Guiding and watching me from afar
And as cheesy as it sounds
It brings a smile to my face
And for a slight moment concern leaves my conscience
But I hold out hope everything is gonna be okay
That's when images of last night run before my eyes

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE FOUR
Another night, another microwave meal
It's been a while since she last came over
Must be working out,
the counselling must be helping them now
And for once in my life I'm relieved
Knowing she's happy calms my mind
I watch the clock tick time passes by
through montaged scenes
This feels like a happy ending to this story
And photographs of you and I
Are packed in a box
I only open it up from time to time
Childhood memories captured in polaroid frames
I like reminiscing about all those good times
Everything was different then
Together just you and I
Hanging every day and every night
until you moved on with your life
that is just a perfect memory captured in my mind

PRE CHORUS
All of this rage is caged
Calm and content I've stayed
The revenge I wanted on him
Has been forgotten
Even after all he did
I'm calm, breathing and relaxed
My minds at ease
We're both rested and healed
The bloodstained cloths
that cleansed your lips are cleaned
ever so gently you're easing my emotions
As I wipe the tears from my eyes
I think of the way you always look into mine
with every ounce of strength,
You've made me a better man
She was right in what she said
even after all he did

CHORUS
Still feel the tender touch of your hand
And I remember every word she said
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him
And all I can think is how lucky he is
To have a girl like you

VERSE FIVE
As I sit on my couch watching tv
It's been months since she last seen me
When I hear a soft knock at the door
I open it up to see you sitting on the pavement
outside of my front door
she is leaning against the brick wall
Head in her hands, crying
Tears constantly streaming down her cheeks
Bruised arms, black eyes
She looked at me and said
I'm bleeding from my lip
From when he hit
That sentence just tore me to bits
Gotta be strong, Take care of her first
Then I'll hunt him down and make him hurt
Shes covered in scratches, puffy eyes
He really lost control this time
And I'm about to lose mine
I pick her up and bring her in
Pull out the first aid kit,
A warm washer to clean her up
Every dab soft and tender to the touch
I won't hurt you like him ever
I'm the one who will make this all better

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE SIX
That time those words don't cut it
Now the hunters become the hunted
I tuck her into bed to sleep
stay with her until she falls into dreams
I watch her smile and breathe as she lays peacefully asleep
I go around to her house just when he walks out
I strike him hard and fast, I made him bleed so much blood
All the pain he put her through I made sure he felt that too
I couldn't keep that rage caged
had to let it out and get revenge
One day she will understand
I did what was best for her
I won't ever let her hurt
He got a few shots in
But nothing compared to what I did to him
Stitches in my hand and brow
I left him hospitalised
I'll never forget the look she gave
when she found out

PRE CHORUS
I tried to explain
I couldn't keep this rage caged
Killer instincts kicked in
And I got my revenge on him
For treating you like this
Didn't stay calm
Didn't keep her mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
I wiped the blood from her lips
I wiped the tears from your eyes
What he did to you killed me inside
with every ounce of strength,
And everything I am
I went after him
after all, he did

CHORUS
This time she didn't take my hand
And I knew I wasn't going to be a fan
of what she had to say
I regret putting my trust and faith in you
You aren't different
All I needed was for you to be there
I just needed someone who really cared
Someone to wipe away these tears
You were the one guy who tamed my fears
I didn't need any more protection
that you hadn't already given
I didn't want you to be like him
Violence never solved anything
I was ready to leave him for you
You went against everything I said
My love and admiration for you ran deep,
I see your faults
I know your needs
But now you have betrayed me
You were such a big part of my heart
You could have been my addiction, my drug
I was hoping you would listen and understand
Not go after him like you did
I can see the mess this is, my hearts been shattered
Beyond repair, I never want to see you again
Those lines run on repeat through my head.

©2018 Written By Benji James

I remember when you were four
I caught you drawing on the wall
I couldn't get mad
Instead I just laughed
And I still have
The finger print painting
that you made
In fact I had it framed
I have every art piece you made
To remind me that your always here
with me spiritually

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

We were at the hospital
I was sitting beside your bed
And you wiped the tears
Underneath my eyes
Then I heard you say
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I smiled
Don't say no goodnights or goodbyes
Yeah princess your my little fighter
My inspiration, my perfection
My saviour, my hope, my strength
Your everything I am
I'll carry that with me forever

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember
when I heard the doctor say
(There's no heart rate)
That line still haunts me
Your mother and I fell to the floor
Neither of us wanted to get back up
It felt like we cried for hours
And then I felt
something give me strength
Then I remembered what you said
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I pulled myself back up
from the floor
Took your mother in my arms
Carried her back to the car
You were every step
You were every breath

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember when
I heard the priest say
May she rest with angels
watching over her
May they share there
infinite love on high
May they protect
her blessed soul
Let the Lord take her
Into his loving arms
To keep her safe from harm
I said Amen to that princess
And I've seen you in the stars
Yeah you'll never be to far
For we are always
With in each other's hearts

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

Sometimes I sit in your empty room
Imagine you playing, drawing
Creating all those games
You used to play
With your vivid imagination
A world of your creation
It's like your still here
I can feel your essence
I can feel your presence
In this place
It's where I go to relive your memory
That you left for me

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken away

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

©2018 Written By Benji James

Don’t stress
Your pretty little head
No need to pull out your hair
In frustration
It’s all gonna be okay
Not telling you not to rage
Don’t sweat
The mascara
Beneath your eyes
Keep those eyes dry
Not telling you
that you shouldn’t cry
Just ensuring you
It’s all gonna be alright

Need a hand
Here hold mine tight
Need an ear, I’m here
Let out all your frustrations
That are weighing you down
In your emotions
Won’t let you drown
There is always a way out
Tell me all the nightmares
That keep you awake at night
Let me take them out of your mind
Demons hunted me down
But I cast them out
Listen my little queen
You just gotta take some time to see
Look deep inside and realise
You can beat these challenges
Laid before your feet
I’ve got faith more than belief
Open your eyes real wide
Let your heart be your guide
Instinct won’t steer you wrong
You’ve got power deep within
Let it out to fly
Fill the world with pure light

Don’t stress
Your pretty little head
No need to pull out your hair
In frustration
It’s all gonna be okay
Not telling you not to rage
Don’t sweat
The mascara
Beneath your eyes
Keep those eyes dry
Not telling you
that you shouldn’t cry
Just ensuring you
It’s all gonna be alright

You’ve written songs in the dark
Been bruised, been scarred
Still beautiful, still art
Can’t take away all these lessons learned
The fires in your eyes
Come on girl
Ignite those stars
Make them shine bright
Encrypted in twilight skies
Memories etched into your mind
A smile begins to take place
Rosie cheeks light your face
Hair sways slowly in the wind
Such a pretty picture
Captured in a frame
Deep inside she pushes down her pain

Don’t stress
Your pretty little head
No need to pull out your hair
In frustration
It’s all gonna be okay
Not telling you not to rage
Don’t sweat
The mascara
Beneath your eyes
Keep those eyes dry
Not telling you
that you shouldn’t cry
Just ensuring you
It’s all gonna be alright

I see beyond your lit up eyes
Deep inside you want to cry
Hurt yourself, leave scars
Now you are marked on the outside
From the frustrations and hurt
Breaking apart your insides
It’s tearing up your heart
Eating at your conscience
Why is it you always feel responsible,
When it’s not your fault
All the damage caused
even those mistakes
Aren’t yours to bare
To ******* yourself
Your feelings you wish to share
Trust in people was hard to find
Locked in your room
Pillow tight
Till sleep you cried

Don’t stress
Your pretty little head
No need to pull out your hair
In frustration
It’s all gonna be okay
Not telling you not to rage
Don’t sweat
The mascara
Beneath your eyes
Keep those eyes dry
Not telling you
that you shouldn’t cry
Just ensuring you
It’s all gonna be alright

You grow a little more everyday
Take a step, take a breath
Just breathe, easy angel
You’ll see this world
It’s yours for the taking
Even with all these shattered parts
You can still mend the heart
Even scars fade with time
Need to learn to capture the thrill
On this roller coaster life
Take a look back
See how far it is you’ve come
All these races you have run
Each mountain peak climbed
Come so far, got a long way to go
Take a moment to enjoy the ride
Doing so well it all gets better with time
Beautiful girl with the adventurous heart
She has a new road to start
Take a look back at the trails blazed
Then to your future you can make your way.

Don’t stress
Your pretty little head
No need to pull out your hair
In frustration
It’s all gonna be okay
Not telling you not to rage
Don’t sweat
The mascara
Beneath your eyes
Keep those eyes dry
Not telling you
that you shouldn’t cry
Just ensuring you
It’s all gonna be alright

©2018 Written By Benji James

Have you ever felt so sick
That there's a churning in your stomach
That you just can't shake
Have you ever felt so broken
That you just can't sleep
Lost in confusion to how life brought you here
Have you ever felt so low
That you didn't think there was anywhere else to go
Have you ever been so angry
You can't control your rage
Ripping every photo in you picture frames
(Yeah) have you ever wondered why it is your heart breaks

Are you good at getting stuck in situations
Feel as though you have lost all communication
And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place
You landed yourself in
Shouldn't have given everything so soon
And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you

Signals beyond detection
Lost in my own space
No stars or light to guide your way
You just met the monster under your bed
Gave into the voices inside of your head
This is the moment everybody dreads
So is this my hell
This is where I've been sent
This is the fall
This is the steep descent

Told you I bleed for my heart
Can't you tell from the scars
Engraved into my skin
Maybe I'm addicted to the pain
Maybe it doesn't feel right when life kicks me back in the face
Maybe I just can't go a day without making a mistake
Maybe I'm a lost cause
Maybe I have no faith
Maybe I've fallen from grace
Maybe I'm a disgrace
Maybe there is no hope for the hopeless
But I still give hope to those
That hang off of every word that I write
And it's lines and times like this that keep me alive (Yeah)

Are you good at getting stuck in situations
Feel as though you have lost all communication
And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place
You landed yourself in
Shouldn't have given everything so soon
And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you

Signals beyond detection
Lost in my own space
No stars or light to guide your way
You just met the monster under your bed
Gave into the voices inside of your head
This is the moment everybody dreads
So is this my hell
This is where I've been sent
This is the fall
This is the steep descent

Maybe I'm drowning in sorrows
Maybe you have some love I could borrow
Maybe you could get me back on my feet
Should never have worn this heart on my sleeve
Maybe I shared too much
Maybe my kindness
got the best of me
Maybe I gave to much trust
Maybe I just lost the one
Maybe the battle was lost
Before it was ever won (Yeah)

Are you good at getting stuck in situations
Feel as though you have lost all communication
And you can't seem to navigate your way out of this dark place
You landed yourself in
Shouldn't have given everything so soon
And maybe then you wouldn't have lost you

Signals beyond detection
Lost in my own space
No stars or light to guide your way
You just met the monster under your bed
Gave into the voices inside of your head
This is the moment everybody dreads
So is this my hell
This is where I've been sent
This is the fall
This is the steep descent

©2017 Written By Benji James

If not for hellopoetry
I would have given up
The writing was starting to take its toll
Left me emotionally exhausted
I was forced to take a break
For all my energy it had drained
Sleepless nights, endless lines
Trying to switch off my brain
Left me depressed
When sentences formed
A story I'd tell
About my life in hell
Sometimes dramatised to a new level
Sometimes I have seen myself become the devil
All my emotions that stain the page
The blood, sweat and tears
Written into each line
Left me losing moments in time
And for this writing became a crime
Didn't feel like I was utilising my mind
Until recently I realised this was the only legacy
I would leave behind
I've seen this art in a whole new light
Through words on a page, I've shown my fight
I've shown all my emotions, I have been totally open
Gave my all in every line
Sprinkled in a flavour of rhyme
If not for hellopoetry all I'd have is blank pages
A mind full of lines, forgotten in time
Took some time to unwind
And that is when I realised
These writings and I are bound for life
I've learned to embrace this now
Finally proud of all my works,
how has it taken me this long
To fall in love with this art
If not for hellopoetry
An appreciation I would never have tasted
And this whole community I've embraced it
Don't care if you love or hate it
It's made me make some changes
If not for hellopoetry
There are talents I may never have uncovered
Some of us are still so young,
Still, more room left to improve
The elder ones raising us up
Understanding a whole new love for this art
I once said These lyrics were written in blood
Straight from the arteries from my heart
That metaphorically speaking
I spread all I am, all across the page
Bled the led with what I felt  
So much heart into every verse
All this time it was never a curse
It was something special I've been gifted
To get all these thoughts out of my system
If not for hellopoetry
I wouldn't be here...caught within this poetic atmosphere

©2018 Written By Benji James

VERSE ONE
She's bleeding from her lip
From every time he hit
Can't believe that she
Just turned up on my doorstep
Looking like this
And all that I can think
Is how much I want to **** him
Better help her in
Come on let's get you cleaned up
Tell me what happened
Tell me everything he did
Firstly let me clean the bloodstains
from beneath your lips
Wipe the smudged mascara
from beneath your eyes
Seeing you hurt like this
Hurts me deep inside
Gotta be strong for you
Make sure you're comforted
Reassure you everything is gonna be alright
Meanwhile, body temperatures raising
As anger boils deep within
All these thoughts come flooding in

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE TWO
All these words, I soak them in
All these thoughts
are running up and down my mind
How could she not let me step in
This hurting could stop right here
I'm giving her everything,
She just wants me to sit back
Watch from the sidelines
While she takes on this fight
Why won't she let me stand at her side?
And all of this confusion envelops in me
I'm losing focus, Push this to the back of my head
Need to take care of her here and now
Because she needs you here most
I carry her into the bed tuck her in
As I crash back on the couch
All of the things she said to me replay

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE THREE
As I wake the next morn
I go to the bedroom to check on her
I see an empty bed well made
on the bedside desk, a neat note laid
Saying thank you for everything you did
Repairing and mending me back to health
I couldn't have a better friend
Sorry I left before you awoke
Just had to get home
Just want you to know
I'm thankful and grateful for all that you are
You'll always be the brightest shining star
Guiding and watching me from afar
And as cheesy as it sounds
It brings a smile to my face
And for a slight moment concern leaves my conscience
But I hold out hope everything is gonna be okay
That's when images of last night run before my eyes

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE FOUR
Another night, another microwave meal
It's been a while since she last came over
Must be working out,
the counselling must be helping them now
And for once in my life I'm relieved
Knowing she's happy calms my mind
I watch the clock tick time passes by
through montaged scenes
This feels like a happy ending to this story
And photographs of you and I
Are packed in a box
I only open it up from time to time
Childhood memories captured in polaroid frames
I like reminiscing about all those good times
Everything was different then
Together just you and I
Hanging every day and every night
until you moved on with your life
that is just a perfect memory captured in my mind

PRE CHORUS
All of this rage is caged
Calm and content I've stayed
The revenge I wanted on him
Has been forgotten
Even after all he did
I'm calm, breathing and relaxed
My minds at ease
We're both rested and healed
The bloodstained cloths
that cleansed your lips are cleaned
ever so gently you're easing my emotions
As I wipe the tears from my eyes
I think of the way you always look into mine
with every ounce of strength,
You've made me a better man
She was right in what she said
even after all he did

CHORUS
Still feel the tender touch of your hand
And I remember every word she said
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him
And all I can think is how lucky he is
To have a girl like you

VERSE FIVE
As I sit on my couch watching tv
It's been months since she last seen me
When I hear a soft knock at the door
I open it up to see you sitting on the pavement
outside of my front door
she is leaning against the brick wall
Head in her hands, crying
Tears constantly streaming down her cheeks
Bruised arms, black eyes
She looked at me and said
I'm bleeding from my lip
From when he hit
That sentence just tore me to bits
Gotta be strong, Take care of her first
Then I'll hunt him down and make him hurt
Shes covered in scratches, puffy eyes
He really lost control this time
And I'm about to lose mine
I pick her up and bring her in
Pull out the first aid kit,
A warm washer to clean her up
Every dab soft and tender to the touch
I won't hurt you like him ever
I'm the one who will make this all better

PRE CHORUS
I'm not sure I can keep
All of this rage caged
Killer instincts kicking in
And all I want is revenge on him
For treating you like this
Gotta stay calm,
Keep this girls mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
And as I wipe the blood from your lips
ever so gently
As I wipe the tears from your eyes
You look deep into mine
with every ounce of strength,
she had left she said
please don't go after him
even after all he did

CHORUS
And as she takes my hand she says
You're different
All I need is for you to be there
I just need someone who really cares
Someone to wipe away these tears
You're the one guy who tames my fears
I don't need any more protection
then you already give
And I don't want you to end up like him
Even though the love I have for him
Runs deep, I see his faults
But I know his needs
And he is such a big part of my heart
His my addiction, my drug
Don't expect you to understand
I see the mess this is, I can't stop my love for him

VERSE SIX
That time those words don't cut it
Now the hunters become the hunted
I tuck her into bed to sleep
stay with her until she falls into dreams
I watch her smile and breathe as she lays peacefully asleep
I go around to her house just when he walks out
I strike him hard and fast, I made him bleed so much blood
All the pain he put her through I made sure he felt that too
I couldn't keep that rage caged
had to let it out and get revenge
One day she will understand
I did what was best for her
I won't ever let her hurt
He got a few shots in
But nothing compared to what I did to him
Stitches in my hand and brow
I left him hospitalised
I'll never forget the look she gave
when she found out

PRE CHORUS
I tried to explain
I couldn't keep this rage caged
Killer instincts kicked in
And I got my revenge on him
For treating you like this
Didn't stay calm
Didn't keep her mind at ease
Help her rest and heal
I wiped the blood from her lips
I wiped the tears from your eyes
What he did to you killed me inside
with every ounce of strength,
And everything I am
I went after him
after all, he did

CHORUS
This time she didn't take my hand
And I knew I wasn't going to be a fan
of what she had to say
I regret putting my trust and faith in you
You aren't different
All I needed was for you to be there
I just needed someone who really cared
Someone to wipe away these tears
You were the one guy who tamed my fears
I didn't need any more protection
that you hadn't already given
I didn't want you to be like him
Violence never solved anything
I was ready to leave him for you
You went against everything I said
My love and admiration for you ran deep,
I see your faults
I know your needs
But now you have betrayed me
You were such a big part of my heart
You could have been my addiction, my drug
I was hoping you would listen and understand
Not go after him like you did
I can see the mess this is, my hearts been shattered
Beyond repair, I never want to see you again
Those lines run on repeat through my head.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Benji...this is your conscience speaking...

"You'll never be good enough for her,
Who are you kidding?
You aren't attractive enough,
To obtain her love.
What are you thinking boy...?
Why are you trying to destroy
everything left inside yourself.
Do you want to be addicted to this drug?
Better stop praying to the sky above...
Get back up Benji, move a little faster
or this storm is going to catch up with ya.
I know you don't give a f**k,
But you better start
Or you'll end up back in that slump
and this time...I'm not sure you'll get back up
And pull yourself back out of that dump."

Resurrect everything inside of my soul
Reignite that light, that once shined
Bring me back
So I can fight, let me find
That parts of me that I lost
in the dark
Give me the spark
to restore life to my heart

Just can't seem to get a grip
People all around me
Are gritting their teeth
Waiting for my next slip
Trying to anticipate my next trip
That just ain't cool...
Why don't you worry about yourself?
I don't need your help.
I've dealt with everything else on my own
People catch me in public
speaking to myself
I'm just talking to the inner me
trying to work out my inner being
Haven't you ever been confused?
Feeling self-accused, hurt and bruised.

Resurrect everything inside of my soul
Reignite that light, that once shined
Bring me back
So I can fight, let me find
That parts of me that I lost
in the dark
Give me the spark
to restore life to my heart

"Benji look at you now...
You crashed yourself into the ground
You tried to rebound
Back from the darkness of life
You just drowned in the blackness inside
You are losing parts of yourself
Every time you're inflicted with pain
Your soul melts
You die a little more inside
You're trying to ride this tide
But you keep running out of time
So you better decide
If you're willing to climb
This jagged cliff edge
One last time."

Resurrect everything inside of my soul
Reignite that light, that once shined
Bring me back
So I can fight, let me find
That parts of me that I lost
in the dark
Give me the spark
to restore life to my heart

©2018 Written By Benji James

Still trying to figure you out
Not sure where your head
Is at right now
You take me by surprise every day
Maybe that how I fall in love with you
In all these different ways
I've been looking around
For just one girl
One who can brighten up my world
I've been looking high
I've been looking low
Where she is
I thought I'd never know

I can hear a voice
calling my name
Far in the distance
Can't show resistance
Need to go with this
All these emotions
Are shaking my soul
But if I don't go
I'll never know

Tell me, girl, can you see
I can love you beautifully
Tell me are we meant to be
(Can you feel it)
This chemistry
(Can you feel it)
Beating in your heart
(I can feel it)
Building up inside
(Ignite these butterflies)
Got you on my mind
Tell me can you see
I can love you beautifully

Show me all the things
You are hiding inside
If you're ready
I'm ready
for our two worlds to collide
Gotta know I'm always on your side
Through any hard times
Got your hand in mine
Gotta see I'm here
for the rest of our lives
Gotta see I'll hold you
Because this feels right

I can hear a voice
calling my name
Far in the distance
Can't show resistance
Need to go with this
All these emotions
Are shaking my soul
But if I don't go
I'll never know

Tell me, girl, can you see
I can love you beautifully
Tell me are we meant to be
(Can you feel it)
This chemistry
(Can you feel it)
Beating in your heart
(I can feel it)
Building up inside
(Ignite these butterflies)
Got you on my mind
Tell me can you see
I can love you beautifully

Girl hold on
We gotta stay strong
Keep you on your feet
That's the way it's gonna be
Because I need someone
who can stand by me
I've seen your strength
And your passion
And that's something I just got to have
And you got the kind of lips
I just want to lay there and kiss
From sunset to sunrise
Dawn till dusk
I could just do it that much
Think you're my fire in the dark
Won't let this burnout
We can make it I have no doubt

I can hear a voice
calling my name
Far in the distance
Can't show resistance
Need to go with this
All these emotions
Are shaking my soul
But if I don't go
I'll never know

Tell me, girl, can you see
I can love you beautifully
Tell me are we meant to be
(Can you feel it)
This chemistry
(Can you feel it)
Beating in your heart
(I can feel it)
Building up inside
(Ignite these butterflies)
Got you on my mind
Tell me can you see
I can love you beautifully

©2017 Written By Benji James

I saw a tear rolling down her face
I asked if you were alright
She said that she was fine
Somehow she always finds
The inner strength to carry on
She knows she's always
got a shoulder she can lean on
But somehow she composes herself to stay strong
Every time I see her she's smiling
Why's it feel like on the inside she's dying
Why does she hold back the secrets she's hiding

She's got demons
Yeah she's got scars
She's carried herself this far
She won't let another
Carry her problems
She's got a mindset to solve them
The demons she wants to control them

She knows she could tell
her friend's anything
But she chooses to hold it inside
Deal with it in the dead of night
She holds her pillow tight as she cries
She has bad decisions and regrets
She doesn't wanna share
She turns music on
To try help her sleep
But she lays wide awake
Thoughts won't let her sleep
She knows she's in deep

She's got demons
Yeah she's got scars
She's carried herself this far
She won't let another
Carry her problems
She's got a mindset to solve them
The demons she wants to control them

She's, spent the night
looking at stars
Making wishes
Skimming pebbles across the lake
She's afraid of what people say
Somehow she still puts on a brave face
She's looking for the sun
To brighten up her day
Then again she likes the smell of rain
Let these emotions just wash away

She's got demons
Yeah she's got scars
She's carried herself this far
She won't let another
Carry her problems
She's got a mindset to solve them
The demons she wants to control them

©2017 Written By Benji James

Never felt this confident
(In love)
Baby girl
It's not enough
To say I'm in love
I never expected this

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Am I nervous
(No)
Got butterflies,
From the moment
I look into your eyes
Girl, please stay in my life
I've never been more alright.

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Is she perfect
(Yes)
Oh the way she talks to me
Girl, I'm falling to my knee's
Never been addicted
To someone like this
Your lipstick stains my lips
From the touching
When we kiss

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Every time we walk
Along the beach
At night
I'm holding your hand
Then our eyes meet
And we fall into the sand
Making out as the waves
Crash in the background
Something so wrong
Could ever feel so right
Yeah I have never felt more alive

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

©2018 Written By Benji James

Say goodbye to the foundations
Holding us up
the values we hold are starting to rust
everyone is losing the definition of trust
is everything just becoming too much?
Too much hunger, war and ruin
Theft and violence is on the rise
and you expect us to just sit in silence
***** all the politicians and religions
they cause more wars,
that’s the leadership given
I’m here to break that system
There is a problem that needs fixing
Instead, we fight something
that can’t be, won
But for a solution, we must become one

Let’s build a future
For the safety of all of the kids
Let’s show them. There is another way
To solve problems without such conflict
through love, lanterns should be, lit
Together we should stand hand in hand
Like a wall made of stone,
We can’t do it on our own

Hates on the rise
behind messages from the keyboard, people hide
Giving their harshest opinions
Cowards are, given
opportunity to speak their mind
Causing scars on one another’s hearts
Making the victims feel like
They wish they didn't exist
This right here is something that needs to be, fixed
But until we stand as one
Nothing can be, done
It takes one to start the trend
But unless we all join in
The world is just going to fall apart

Let’s build a future
For the safety of all of the kids
Let’s show them, and there is another way
To solve problems without such conflict
Through love, lanterns should be, lit
Together we should stand hand in hand
Like a wall made of stone,
We can’t do it on our own

A world rooted in hate on gender, colour and race
These are just some challenges we face
Stand together, and we will change
The fate that we face
War, starvation and blame
If we continue to disagree,
It could start world war 3
So now can you see?
The impact it’s bringing
Through music, we keep singing
To make a change

Let’s build a future
For the safety of all of the kids
Let’s show them; there is another way
To solve problems without such conflict
Through love, lanterns should be, lit
Together we should stand hand in hand
Like a wall made of stone,
We can’t do it on our own

Stand together, or we’ll fall
Rise to the call
Stand and be tall
Don’t hold back, give your all
Be strong and bring down this wall
Of hate and blame, no more games!
Make the change; we’re one in the same

©2017 Written By Benji James

Since when did life become this hard?
When did this battle start?
It felt like I had come so far,
When did this hurt become a scar?

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

I can hear echoes in my head,
Screams from the darkness underneath my bed.
I'm trapped in chains, caged in my brain.
A fire of rage, a storm of rain.
A soul to claim, can't escape.

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

This river of blood,
is like a raging flood,
tearing apart the arteries,
In my heart.
All this pain, is like a train,
crashing through my veins.

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

The suffering, is suffocating my soul
I'm shaking, breaking
Think this is the breakdown,
They were talking about.
And now I can't get out,
Of this room full of doubt.

Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then I think.
Maybe I'm damaged, (damaged)
More then just a bit.
So damaged, (damaged, damaged)

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

I'm sorry for the way
I let you down
In your emotions
I let you drown
I'm sorry for not speaking out
When you clearly needed sound
Someone to just say it's all gonna be okay
I just looked the other way
Only cared about me
And now that thought plagues my conscience
I'm sorry that I am stuck in selfish ways
Only thinking of my own feelings
And not much of yours
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you in ways that you had pictured
You thought that I'd be different
I let you walk that lonely road
Ignorant to your hurt
Our lives drifted in different directions
Now you're somewhere out there
beyond my detection
Just hope these sorries find their way to you

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

I'm an ocean of emotions
When we hit rough seas
That's when you don't see
The best parts of me
I'm sorry in my anger
I can get violent
Sometimes I just can't stay silent
I lose control when this rage stays caged
And that is one of my greatest flaws
Hurt people that mean so much to me
Out of anger and stupidity
I'm sorry for the bruises and marks
I'm sorry for all the hurting parts
I'm sorry for the damaged soul
I'm sorry I lost control of my thoughts
Let rage overpower,
still, decisions made in moments of regret
These are moments that weren't my best
Maybe that's why they say rage is blind
Cuz we don't see in those moments
What we become, It's only after it is done

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

I'm sorry for all the missed signs
and all of the misinterpreted lines
I'm sorry to those that I've offended
I'm sorry to those I couldn't connect with
I'm sorry that sometimes I struggle to find the line
I cross that thing a lot of the time
I'm sorry for the worries
I'm sorry for the tears
I'm sorry for filling you with fears
I'm sorry for the times I just couldn't bring myself to write
I'm sorry for all the failed lines
And mediocre rhymes
I'm sorry this took me a long time

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

Dear me, are you listening...
Most of all I'm sorry to you
And for all the things I've put myself through
I'm sorry for tearing myself apart for art
I'm sorry for holding out air from my lungs
I'm sorry for all the times that I've looked in the mirror
Only to call me ugly, a monster, a freak
Frequent hate to which most can relate
I'm sorry for all the self-loathing
I'm sorry for the sleepless nights
And the endless fights inside my own mind
I'm sorry for saying, I'll never be enough
I'm sorry for not being able to let myself love

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

I'm sorry to the girls
Who wanted my love
I couldn't return the love they gave
Cuz I didn't feel the same way
I'm sorry to the friends that I cut off
I only did what I thought was best
I'm sorry that this life of mine is still a mess
I'm sorry to the girls that I hurt with words
Out of jealousy or rejection
I'm sorry for the lyrics that I wrote about you
May have been something said that hurt
I'm sorry I take so long to learn

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

I'm sorry that in my weakness I want to die
I'm sorry that I struggle with this life
I'm sorry for all the crazy things that cross my mind
I'm sorry for all the broken promises
I'm sorry I haven't achieved any of my dreams
I'm sorry that I'm inconsistent
I'm sorry that I claim I'm a victim
I'm sorry for the times I don't accept the blame
I'm sorry for the jokes I made that were lame
I'm sorry that this song is full of sorries
I'm sorry to all those people I've wronged
I'm sorry to myself for never feeling real love
I'm sorry for having no faith in a god above

I'm going to write this one in blood
Just so you know it's straight from my heart
Where should I begin, where do I start?
Let me fill a new page with art
This was written in the dark
By the candlelight spark
****** ink spilt across the page
With all these things
That I just have to say
It all comes bursting out my chest
Just so you know I mean what it is that's said
So that this can all heal and mend

©2018 Written By Benji James

Nothing on me to light a fire
In this dark place
Only my instincts can save me
A shattered heart and torn soul
But I’m still holding on
There’s not much hope
But I hold faith
That one day I’ll make it free
From this place
I’ll do everything it takes
To get out of here alive
It’s not as easy as it sounds
The hardest things take time
And this is an endless war
Between a conscious mind
Of doubts and regrets
That fill an insomniacs head

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

Can you hear the howls,
screams and cries
Deafening to the ears
It’ll make you tremble and shake
You can’t give into fear
Or you won’t make it alive out of here
I’ve been facing down monsters one at a time
Too many at once and they’ll eat you alive
It’s not easy to decide
Which one will be next
Just hope that you don’t mess up
And end up dead
I’m locked and loaded
With guns in hand
I’m prepared as I’ll ever be
I’m gonna make it out of here eventually

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

The battles are far from over
Still on guard, ready to defend
Every corner I turn
It gives them a new chance
To catch me off guard
And rip me apart
I’ve got a lot of scars and marks
Barely scraped through
some of my past fights
At the last moments
I was able to turn the tides
How much longer
Can I keep myself alive
I guess the future holds the secrets
Just gotta keep moving
Until I find the exit light
And break free
of this apocalyptic dream

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

I’m panting
Taking a deep breath
Bite wounds in my leg
Hellhounds found me out
All is lost now
Guns are out of reach
Might as well accept my fate
Just give in
Let the monsters win
Sometimes you can’t beat a sin
Unless you devote
your unconditional love to him
This was something I never did
So where I’m going is uncertain
Now it’s finally time to
Let the curtain close
Shut my eyes
This is it
I’m torn to bits

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chased me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
I died alone here in purgatory


(To be continued...)
©2018 Written By Benji James

Memories bombard my eyes
All the wrongs caused in past times
Failures on parade
Wrong choices made
Too late
(Can't change them)
Why do I stop and reminisce
When all these things
Leave me feeling like this?

What has this life become?
When you're all alone
Crying in a parking lot...

Shots left me with a wounded heart
Just like a broken vase
Put together again
It's not the same
Thoughts of death plague my mind
Runs through my head too much of the time
Try to fix it with a rhyme, a line
Tried praying for a sign
All I see is empty skies
And this is why
I'd like to know

What has this life become?
When you're all alone
Crying in a parking lot...

Silhouettes dancing through these streets
Dark shadow stalking me
The man in the mirror
That I see
Is not the best version of me
I know it
Not trying to hide it
I'm an open book
Read each line
And you'll get a small glimpse
into my life
Through silver screens
You'll see all these feelings eating at me
Tell me

What has this life become?
When you're all alone
Crying in a parking lot...

©2018 Written By Benji James

As I awake from eternal slumber
I rise from the ground covered with ash
Bound in a circle of fire
You can call me Johnny Cash
Hands through the fire
They don't burn, no pain
I am immune to fire it seems
Walk right through
surrounded by lightning skies
Thunder rattles my ears
Though I don't burn
I can feel the heat
A thousand degrees
Memories flash before my eyes
Of a past life
I remember monsters and me
Locked together in purgatory

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

I've wandered these deserts for many years
No hope in sight
Not sure if in circles I have been walking
Because all the scenery I've seen
All looks the same to me
Trapped in this box
Just a Jack waiting to be set free
Wind me up so I can breathe
See the light just one more time
My mind has slowly deteriorated, insane
Not sure I'll ever be the same
This is torture, this is the pain
This burns even more than the flame
Trapped in this place
I cannot stay
I need to break free of this cell
Can't stay here trapped in hell

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

Fed myself holy water,
It burns me inside
Too late for confessing past sins
Can't be forgiven for this
Keep hearing voices taunting me
Saying I'll never be good enough
Can't save myself from the pain I've been dealt
You have failed yourself and everyone else
Them words on repeat, the laughs and the screams
Making fun of me
I'm nothing more than an empty shell
Of who I once was
Tried to be too strong on my own
Now I see it takes more to fight demons and monster alone
The mistakes that I've made
Are put on parade through my dreams
Bound and chained to never leave me

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

My soul was torn to shreds
Now just an empty vessel
Eyes pitch black
Not a light left inside
My heart was ripped from my chest
Follow your heart, Now just a distant memory
Said I wouldn't fade
Soulless and Heartless maybe I am
But I'll fight with everything I have left
Until broken in pieces upon the floor
Until I'm unable to move anymore

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

It was just monsters and me in Purgatory
Now I see I'm trapped in myself
Fighting the monsters that I had become
To my own demons, I was forced to succumb
But I won't stand for it no more
I'll do what it takes
To claim my throne
Needed a little help
Needed a little guidance
From my angels of light
Help me to reclaim my life
So I'm here praying
Drenched in tears
I need you to help me beat these fears
I need you to support me out of here
Hear my prayers and all I have to say
I need purification
Plunge me beneath these holy seas
Wash me clean, help me heal
I want the power to feel

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
Found out where it is I am
Wasn't resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
But this feels like home
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I once found myself in
Maybe this was hell
I may have been ******
But I found beauty in who I am
Because of the sins branded in me
They gave me the strength
to find a new way
Nobody was around in sight
There was one beyond my eyes
He filled me with eternal light
Now I've got to let it shine.

©2018 Written By Benji James

She's hot, He's not
They've got nothing in common
He's out drinking away his problems
She's at home sitting on the bed crying
His seeing other girls
While she's all alone at home
And these two souls
Should be walking separate paths
Both hurt and ache inside
Both mentally troubled in their mind
This situation just doesn't feel right

They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say
They're emotionally drained every day
Trying to find a smile in these hard times
but in these dark days, it's hard to find a light
And this relationship breaking down
And karma always comes back around
They're gonna drown in the down down
They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say

She wants everything to be her way
He could care less what she has to say
He wants every girl in his sight
He has no feelings for his wife
She's staring at the clock
Counting down the minutes until he comes home
She wants him to herself
She's hurt, she really loves him
Be he really doesn't give a ****
What she's feeling in her heart
Her tortured soul will be the masterpiece of his art

They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say
They're emotionally drained every day
Trying to find a smile in these hard times
but in these dark days, it's hard to find a light
And this relationship breaking down
And karma always comes back around
They're gonna drown in the down down
They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say

He needs money for the bills
She's got thoughts of leaving him
She's got those initial kind of feelings
She still loves him so it's hard to leave
When he is everything she feels she needs
And she knows that she deserves better
She's finding the strength and courage
To walk out of that door and so
She tells him, he will lose everything
He shrugs it off and takes another swig of his drink

They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say
They're emotionally drained every day
Trying to find a smile in these hard times
but in these dark days, it's hard to find a light
And this relationship breaking down
And karma always comes back around
They're gonna drown in the down down
They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say

She's got the car packed
Ready to make a change
Find happiness and a future somewhere new
As she goes to walk out the door
He strikes her across the face
She falls to the floor
He raises his voice in anger
You will never leave me you, little *****
Tears run from her eyes bruised and beaten
Mascara streaming down her cheeks
So much weakness in her body
Can't find the strength to pick herself back up
She tries with all her might
But she's stuck lying on the floor

They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say
They're emotionally drained every day
Trying to find a smile in these hard times
but in these dark days, it's hard to find a light
And this relationship breaking down
And karma always comes back around
They're gonna drown in the down down
They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say

He's barely thinking straight
Alcohol overtakes his decisions
His eyes, now blurred vision
his sitting next to her on the floor
Too drunk to even stand, his limits
His at his end, he rips off her dress
he gives her every inch
That alcohol breath
She breathes it in, crying and afraid
She can't even think straight
How did it get to this stage
*****, battered and bruised
The one she loved
Completely broke her trust
And now nothing will ever be the same
She'll be haunted by memories
for the rest of her days

They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say
They're emotionally drained every day
Trying to find a smile in these hard times
but in these dark days, it's hard to find a light
And this relationship breaking down
And karma always comes back around
They're gonna drown in the down down
They're Mr and Mrs's negativity
They've never got anything positive to say

©2017 Written By Benji James

She's like a disease
Just breathe it in
He is infected
With the girl
of his dream
s
Inject me with your love

I'm inspired by your lust

Baby, we can make a memory

In the backseat of my car

Pretty girl
I want to see you smile
I'm going to use that line
like it's going out of style
You're cute, wonderful and beautiful, it's true.
There is nobody else as amazing as you.
You brighten up the day with your smile
Don't hesitate to keep on shining
Because of this little miss,
Take some time to see
There is something special deep inside yourself
Nobody is quite like you
There is nobody else that smiles
The way you do

I want the spotlight upon you
Every time you're smiling
It lights up the night
like neon signs
It's brighter than starry skies
Just like the moonbeams
It ignites the soul
Every time I see you smiling
It brings the joy I've never felt before
Just smile, like you're getting photographed
There is nothing better than that
Smile, let the whole world shine
Love can be felt all around the world
Right after you smile, so smile.

Just like the sun that shines
the dark clouds away
That grin that perfectly fits your lips
Your beautifully lit up face
Through your eyes
All the darkness in me
Fades to light
You're the image of perfection
Inside of this mind
You're the only exception
So keep burning bright
Like city lights
Keep bringing happiness to all
that surrounds you
Because you're infectious
In all the best ways
And I pray, you'll always remain the same

I want the spotlight upon you
Every time you're smiling
It lights up the night
like neon signs
It's brighter than starry skies
Just like the moonbeams
It ignites the soul
Every time I see you smiling
It brings the joy I've never felt before
Just smile, like you're getting photographed
There is nothing better than that
Smile, let the whole world shine
Love can be felt all around the world
Right after you smile, so smile.

Hey honey,
Let your energy
guide your way
Hearts on your sleeve
inspiring me each and every day
When I'm around you
Feels like there is nothing I can't do
Don't need another pick me up...
Princess, I've got you.
You're turning me around
With your outlook on life
Always remaining optimistic
through the hardest times
through grace and positivity
You always manage to smile

I want the spotlight upon you
Every time you're smiling
It lights up the night
like neon signs
It's brighter than starry skies
Just like the moonbeams
It ignites the soul
Every time I see you smiling
It brings the joy I've never felt before
Just smile, like you're getting photographed
There is nothing better than that
Smile, let the whole world shine
Love can be felt all around the world
Right after you smile, so smile.

©2019 Written By Benji James

The secrets you shared
Opened my eyes real wide
Had to take the burdens
That you bared
Couldn’t let them lead you to death
I ****** out the poisons
Plaguing your mind
I wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines
I’m a fighter
Takes a lot to knock me down
It’s gonna take a lot more to take me out

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Once purified
Now drowning in darkness
Opened eyes
Fill these abandoned woods
Everywhere I turn spirits haunt me
I’m not scared, I’m not afraid
It was in this place
My life was made
There’s comfort here
And I’m alright
I don’t second guess
The decision I made
Alone with the ghosts
You gave to me
I told you I’d take them from you baby

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Heaven shut me out
Long ago
I’m just another abandoned soul
I’ll walk these deserts for the rest of time
Taunted by the nightmares that kept you awake all night
I hope you sleep peacefully in dreams
You deserve the best baby
I’m the one who took your pain
Made it my own
Cuz I could not watch it hurt you, no more
I’ll fight for you forever
Your angel in the darkness
I’ll fight until the end
Until my wings are ripped from my back
Until my eyes run black

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

©2018 Written By Benji James

Never felt this confident
(In love)
Baby girl
It's not enough
To say I'm in love
I never expected this

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Am I nervous
(No)
Got butterflies,
From the moment
I look into your eyes
Girl, please stay in my life
I've never been more alright.

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Is she perfect
(Yes)
Oh the way she talks to me
Girl, I'm falling to my knee's
Never been addicted
To someone like this
Your lipstick stains my lips
From the touching
When we kiss

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

Every time we walk
Along the beach
At night
I'm holding your hand
Then our eyes meet
And we fall into the sand
Making out as the waves
Crash in the background
Something so wrong
Could ever feel so right
Yeah I have never felt more alive

There are so many things
I gotta say to you
But let me just
Start by saying

I wanna kiss you
under the waterfall
Beneath the starry sky
(We can do it all)
Nothing so wrong
Could ever feel this right
Girl I've never felt more alive

©2018 Written By Benji James

What happens when you've made,
All the mistakes you can make?
What happens when that part of you
That holds you up breaks?
What does it take
to make that part of you,
that you hate,
how do you make that fade?

Bless your soul
Your a rolling stone
Travelling down this,
long hard road
You use your inner strength
Yeah we got faith
We all know our
Trust in love
Is never misplaced

I've been killing off the demons
in my dreams
But they somehow come back
And grab a hold on me
How can I erase that pain?
How can I escape that fate?
When it's so deeply encrypted, into my brain?
Have you seen the strain I face?
Have you been to this place?
You know the part of you,
that you can't escape
There must be a way to clean the slate
Grab yourself an empty plate
So that you can start again
Or at least that's something I can dream

Bless your soul
Your a rolling stone
Travelling down this,
long hard road
You use your inner strength
Yeah we got faith
We all know our
Trust in love
Is never misplaced

I've seen the dark
Where red eyes linger
I've seen the fire
That burns away
the core of your soul
How can you come back from that all
We've all been low and knee deep
In the quicksand of life, it seems
But this is what happens
when you're buried six feet deep
And you're trying to get out
But you can't breathe
You've tried to use others
To get you out
But there only seems,
to be one way now
You need to dig your way out
Of this underground

Bless your soul
Your a rolling stone
Travelling down this,
long hard road
You use your inner strength
Yeah we got faith
We all know our
Trust in love
Is never misplaced

©2017 Written By Benji James

Met her up in the club
Drinking her pineapple schnapps
I took a chance,
asked her for a dance, she said yes
So I said take my hand
from the moment we met
I just knew we would connect
Felt the sparks fly 
between you and I
She gives me that electrical feel
Shocked to the heart 
The blood rush starts 
One taste of her strawberry kiss
From her red cherry coloured lips
To the sweet caress from her fingertips 
It had me feeling like this,

I love every little thing about you
I love every little thing that you do
(You know it)
I want your loving
Yeah baby it's true (You know it)
I can't get you off of my mind girl
(You know it, you know it)

Come and get on it
I want it (You know that I do)
Your bubble gum tongue
Your passion, your love
The connection we feel (So surreal)
Come on get on
We want it, I see that you do
(I know your feeling it to) Girl

It's the way that we sweat
In the passion, in ***
Out of breath
By the end
Fall asleep in your bed
Her head on my chest
You know that feeling
It's the best,

I love every little thing about you
I love every little thing that you do
(You know it)
I want your loving
Yeah baby it's true (You know it)
I can't get you off of my mind girl
(You know it, you know it)

Come and get on it
I want it (You know that I do)
Your bubble gum tongue
Your passion, your love
The connection we feel (So surreal)
Come on get on it
We want it, I see that you do
(I know your feeling it to) Girl

She likes it when,
I run my fingers through her hair
I see your feeling the attraction we share
Yeah we both feel it there
I can feel your body heat on mine
Yeah you know that's something I like
You know you got the look girl
You know you got me hooked girl
You know we got it good girl
Couldn't have made it any better
If I threw a wishing stone
Into a wishing well
She knows we got it good and,

I love every little thing about you
I love every little thing that you do
(You know it)
I want your loving
Yeah baby it's true (You know it)
I can't get you off of my mind girl
(You know it, you know it)

Come and get on it
I want it (You know that I do)
Your bubble gum tongue
Your passion, your love
The connection we feel (So surreal)
Come on get on it
We want it, I see that you do
(I know your feeling it to) Girl

©2019 Written By Benji James

My nights consist of falling apart
On a daily basis
That’s according to my thesis
On my own self evaluations
Keep getting caught in bad situations
This is an invitation
To not feel okay
Sometimes you just need to cry
Let it all out
In a form of sentences
Trying to express your emotion
What’s holding you down promoted
To this cause I am devoted
Left vulnerable and open

Bleeding and broken

©2018 Written By Benji James

Feel the heat building up inside
Steam is rising from my soul
Sweaty palms and underarms
People telling me, remain calm
I'm shaking, to break this spirit free
No one can hold me down
Don't try to stop me now
You'll never shut my mouth
Gonna take more than a bullet to take me out
You can throw me in the middle of the ocean
I refuse to drown
As this earth rotates
I push against the grain
Drenched in blood
Found strength in my pain
Now you'll see the crown I came to claim

I was underestimated
I've been underrated
This is my statement
Printed in my pages
I've been underrated
Under sedation
Locked in nightmares
Trying to find acceptance
Through somebody else's eyes
Instead of seeing perfection through mine

Doesn't it make you sick to your stomach
The feeling that we get
When we don't feel that we are getting our dues
and we've paid prices with priceless items
Laid it all on the line
In this battle of life
Hearts on our sleeve
And through the ink, I've bled
Still didn't end up dead
Sleepless nights in bed
Pen in hand
Experience my life through my writes
Through my stories, You take walks in my shoes
Fate chose me, So I chose it too
And that's how it lead me to you

I was underestimated
I've been underrated
This is my statement
Printed in my pages
I've been underrated
Under sedation
Locked in nightmares
Trying to find acceptance
Through somebody else's eyes
Instead of seeing perfection through mine

Power through perception
life lessons through direction
Emotions through connection
Love through detection
Minds were blown through comprehension
I found peace in this eternal mind
I now know that I am all that I need to be
Now I see I just need to be me
Just relax and rest at ease
They'll take you as you are
Flaws and all
Just breathe
and let them see

I was underestimated
I've been underrated
This is my statement
Printed in my pages
I've been underrated
Under sedation
Locked in nightmares
Trying to find acceptance
Through somebody else's eyes
Instead of seeing perfection through mine

©2018 Written By Benji James

You were taken way to soon
I guess God has big plans for you
How can I deal with these feelings
How can I concentrate
When I don't understand
Why you, were taken away
I'd come and join you tonight
Up in that starry sky
But I know you'd want me
To keep on living my life
So I promise you I'll fulfil my dreams
Just like I told you
There's still so much I haven't given
So tonight this one is for you

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep
Sometimes it's hard
Just to make it through the week
Nothing has ever cut this deep
Why did you leave us
Why did God take you away
Why couldn't he have just let you stay
I question that every day
I know you'll still guide me,
I know if I'm lost.
You will find me
I feel your presence inside me
You'll always be here to stay
Nobody can ever take that away

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

The memories never fade
I can still clearly see your face
And the way you assured me
Everything's gonna be okay
I remember your embrace
The smiles you always gave
All the laughs and tears we made
I remember all your advice
Didn't even have to think twice
You pick me up
When I need you the most
You may have been, taken away
But I know you're here in me

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

I'm still torn,
That you're gone
But I know
you're always gonna be
Right here with me
I look to the sky
When I need some advice
Because I can still hear your voice
It speaks from deep inside
Telling me everything's
gonna be alright
I know you're out there
I know you care
Oh this one is written for you
I dedicate this song to you

You're still here within my heart
You're in my thoughts
(I know you can hear me)
You're in my dreams
(I still see you)
Oh I hope you hear my prayers
Because every word I say to you
You know it's true

I still feel you
All around me
The warmth you gave
Still, surrounds me
The light you gave
Can still be found in me
Just gotta look deep down
To see you're still here with me

I miss you
You'll always be in my heart
Hope you're feeling all my love
I never have to say goodbye
Because I'll see you on the other side
Up in that starry sky
In the starry sky
In the starry sky

©2017 Written By Benji James

Hey somebody
pass me the eyeliner
Because I want to get Emo
Yep **** it
I'm the drama queen
Always get it wrong it seems
Some say I complain too much
But I don't give zero *****
Sometimes you need a whinge
Yeah just have a little *****
Wise words from the drama king

Focus all eyes  on me,
Attention is what I need
Focus all eyes on me,
I've got something to say
Listen to what
comes out of my mouth
Maybe I'm talking
a lot of **** right now
Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need

Always underachieve
Failing everything I do
Failing them, keep failing you
Can't seem to do
Anything I set my mind too
I'm looking around
For something worth living for
Every time I find something
It escapes my grasp
Always end up back on my ***
Can't seem to get it right
No matter how hard I try
Can't appear to get it right
No matter how hard I fight

Hey somebody, pass me the eyeliner
Because I want to get Emo
Yep **** it
I'm the drama queen
Always get it wrong it seems
Some say I complain too much
But I don't give zero *****
Sometimes you need a whinge
Yeah just have a little *****
Wise words from the drama king

Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need
Focus all eyes on me,
I've got something to say
Listen to what
comes out of my mouth
Maybe I'm talking
a lot of **** right now
Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need

Why does life smack you in the face
When you're circling the drain
The skies have turned to grey
You're miserable every day
Can't seem to catch a break
No matter how many Kit Kats you ate
Is this it, is this my fate
Staying up until late
Just so that I can contemplate
Every **** mistake
I've ever made

Hey somebody, pass me the eyeliner
Because I want to get Emo
Yep **** it
I'm the drama queen
Always get it wrong it seems
Some say I complain too much
But I don't give zero *****
Sometimes you need a whinge
Yeah just have a little *****
Wise words from the drama king

Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need
Focus all eyes on me,
I've got something to say
Listen to what
comes out of my mouth
Maybe I'm talking
a lot of **** right now
Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need

Do you know
What it feels like
To stare at your phone
No messages coming through
Feel like nobody
even cares about you
Yep you wonder what you can do
Is there something wrong with me
Is there are reason people hate me
What is it they need to see
To see I'm worth some time
Every once in a while
Trying to hide this emotion
Behind a smile
All these sarcastic remarks
Covering scars

Hey somebody, pass me the eyeliner
Because I want to get Emo
Yep **** it
I'm the drama queen
Always get it wrong it seems
Some say I complain too much
But I don't give zero *****
Sometimes you need a whinge
Yeah just have a little *****
Wise words from the drama king

Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need
Focus all eyes on me,
I've got something to say
Listen to what
comes out of my mouth
Maybe I'm talking
a lot of **** right now
Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need

Can't seem to make it pay to pay
All this debt is crushing me
And I'm losing my mind every night
To that devil inside
The one that won't let you sleep
He even haunts you in your dreams
There no escaping this reality
And all I can do
Is keep on strolling through
The best that I can
Hope that someone understands
Maybe one day
I'll find happiness again

Hey somebody, pass me the eyeliner
Because I want to get Emo
Yep **** it
I'm the drama queen
Always get it wrong it seems
Some say I complain too much
But I don't give zero *****
Sometimes you need a whinge
Yeah just have a little *****
Wise words from the drama king

Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need
Focus all eyes on me,
I've got something to say
Listen to what
comes out of my mouth
Maybe I'm talking
a lot of **** right now
Focus all eyes on me,
Attention is what I need

I want to get dramatic
Don't tell me not to get dramatic
Don't say I'm complicated
No, I'm not complicated
I'm talking straight
Hey wait, wait
Sister pass me the eyeliner
Because I want to get Emo
You know I want to get Emo

©2017 Written By Benji James

Every day, a new sentence
prepared in our heads
We try to plan out our lives
but they never coincide
I'm looking up to the sky
With all these questions why
thinking that I'll get answers in reply
I can't seem to think straight
Thought I had all this sense
But I can't find the change
And every day I check,
that a new day has come
But I'm a song stuck on repeat
one that sticks in your conscious for weeks

Why am I not living life the way I should
Seems I’m stuck in traffic Morning and night
Work all day just to come home to sleep away the night
Is this really all I'm meant to be
Used to think I was meant for greatness
Now I just can't see, that being me.
Feels like I've left this all too late
I came unprepared to storm this gate
Better turn back now,
just let this dream fade

Always thought greatness
was where my life would lead
But now I see, I didn't need greatness
To feel fulfilled and succeed
Thought fame would be away
To achieve everything I'd need
But fame just brings disaster
and attention I really don't want
So I think I can be happy with what I've got

And this is no real story
Just thinking out loud
Through fingers, I keep typing
Hoping this will connect
Maybe someone out there
Needs something to which they can relate
And I've felt those feelings
where you spiritually connect
In others writings, It's a talent
Which is a blessing to possess
I'm trying to find that spark
That helped me light up the dark
Haven't written in so long
But I know this is somewhere I belong

Why am I not living life the way I should
Seems I’m  stuck in traffic Morning and night
Work all day just to come home to sleep away the night
Is this really all I'm meant to be
Used to think I was meant for greatness
Now I just can't see, that being me.
Feels like I've left this all too late
I came unprepared to storm this gate
Better turn back now,
just let this dream fade

Always thought greatness
was where my life would lead
But now I see, I didn't need greatness
To feel fulfilled and succeed
Thought fame would be away
To achieve everything I'd need
But fame just brings disaster
and attention I really don't want
So I think I can be happy with what I've got

I've written a bunch of verses
Unfinished works, Sometimes it truly hurts
losing motivation for something
you once so dearly loved
It got you through all those hard times
Now you won't even take the time
To write out some lines,
think of some quips and rhymes
Try to define yourself as a poet
Get those emotions out
With a pen and paper now
So that you can show it
And all those who need to read
So that they can see
there not in this alone,
They're in this with me

Why am I not living life the way I should
Seems I stuck in traffic Morning and night
Work all day just to come home to sleep away the night
Is this really all I'm meant to be
Used to think I was meant for greatness
Now I just can't see, that being me.
Feels like I've left this all too late
I came unprepared to storm this gate
Better turn back now,
just let this dream fade

Always thought greatness
was where my life would lead
But now I see, I didn't need greatness
To feel fulfilled and succeed
Thought fame would be away
To achieve everything I'd need
But fame just brings disaster
and attention I really don't want
So I think I can be happy with what I've got

©2017 Written By Benji James

Brick by brick
I'm building a new foundation
In weakness and strength
I hide in fear of some of God's creation
but there are just somethings
That need to be admired
The tree's, The rivers and open oceans
The mountains that stand tall over us
But most of all I admire you

I'm hanging on every word you say
(ooh) Speechless
Hopelessly lost within your words
(So) breathless
I can't even say a word
She's everything a man dreams of
Her voice is sweet, honest and true
Oh, girl, I'm amazed by you

Struck with a new sensation
Brick by brick
I'm completing a new foundation
I'm starting to learn
She can be my medication
She makes everything better
With her dedication
Her kiss, Kiss
Has got me (Blushing)
It starts my blood (rushing)
Her sweet, Sweet taste
Has created a new flavour
She's making me feel
A little bit braver
I can try, But I know I can't win
She already has my heart
Caught in a string

I'm hanging on every word you say
(ooh) Speechless
Hopelessly lost within your words
(So) breathless
I can't even say a word
She's everything a man dreams of
Her voice is sweet, honest and true
Oh, girl, I'm amazed by you

If I could give you the stars (I would)
It's heaven on earth
When I'm with you
I feel there's nothing that I can not do.
You're so amazing, girl.
I can feel my heart racing,
the fires of love are blazing
She's a princess
that leaves me speechless
Caught up
And hung up on you
I'm trapped, in a web,
I can't break loose

I'm hanging on every word you say
(ooh) Speechless
Hopelessly lost within your words
(So) breathless
I can't even say a word
She's everything a man dreams of
Her voice is sweet, honest and true
Oh, girl, I'm amazed by you

©2017 Written By Benji James

I miss the way
You used to sit
On your front lawn
Waiting for me to see you
So that I'd come and talk to you
You were too shy to knock on the door
But your secrets you told me them all
And I miss all the ways
you and I couldn't take our eyes off each other
You had all my attention
I miss that emotional expression

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey baby
Why don't you want me?

We haven't talked in so long
And I tried to forget
What you meant to me
But it seems every time I forget
Dreams remind me
Just what you mean to me
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to show you this love
When you're with someone
And all I want to do
Is hold you close beneath
These stars
Your hands fit perfectly in mine
Yeah, baby, you're always
Running on my mind

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey baby
Why don't you want me?

Oh honey memories ignite
In my head
while I'm laying in bed
I remember back to conversations that we had
I remember back to every smile every laugh
That we had
I remember every tear that you cried
And every time I had you wrapped in my arms
But there was once where I held you
But you wouldn't hug back
That's when everything
Started to go wrong
And I felt I was losing you more every day
Until I completely lost you one day
I don't wanna relive that again

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey  baby
Why don't you want me?

I'm missing you
And how we used to think the other people we'd seen
You didn't think any other girl was good enough for me
And I still don't think any guy is good enough for you
It should have been me who ended up with you
Instead, I guess I lost out
So I have to reminisce in memories you left me with
And I'll just have to deal with it
Just know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you
I'm always gonna be here when you call
I'll be there if you ever need help
getting back up after a fall

Tell me what happened to us
How did it turn out I wasn't good enough
I think about you every day
Tell do you even think about me?
And every time you were with another guy
The jealousy kicked in
But I couldn't let it show
I just wanted you to be happy

Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
Baby, you don't know
What you mean to me
Tell me Baby, baby
Why don't you want me?
You're everything I see
You're everything I need
Hey, hey baby
Why don't you want me?

©2017 Written By Benji James

So many elements
Make up this man
Let me open up
Show all that I am
Take a little insecurity
Fill these eyes with some tears
Take a little fear
Sew them into this skin
If I'm gonna show it all
I need to let you see everything

Open up this heart
Cut it in half
Let all the love bleed out
Just so they have no doubt
All I've got is yours too hold
Take these hands filled with hope
Come inside my mind
Where you'll see all these
Dreams on display
Sometimes this Imagination
Runs away

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

Take a little anxiety
A pinch of crazy
Pour a little jealousy
Over me
All these little things
With some humanization
That adds up to this creation
I'll walk this world
Arms wide open
You'll see every inch of me
Nothing to hide
No disguise
No agenda in my eyes

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me.

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

Take a little self-control
Inject some humour into my soul
Drink down some bravery
Fill my warrior spirit
through a dance
Filled with fire
Fill these eyes with starlit skies
Feel power building inside
A determination to be great
Finding a way to new heights
Through freedom, Through flight
This is so raw, This is so real
You're inheriting all that I feel.

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me.

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

Honesty soaks into my skin
Revealing truths
Layed out before your sights
And it comes as no surprise
All of these acts that take the stage
Are giving there all
No time for questioning
No time for dismay
Only came to display all it is they can be
With each opportunity that came there way
With belief in their talents shown
Audiences left with their minds blown

There is passion
There is inspiration
There is motivation
There is faith
Stitched into the fabric of my being
Strength and hope, open your eyes
And you will see
All these things make up you and me

Sprinkle some hurt
To fill the drive
There's a little hate hidden inside
Kept in the dark corners of our mind
But I choose love, that is where I side
Opinions could fly out from these lips
But that would be counterproductive
I'm just trying to be me
The best I can be
I'm just trying to see
A world in which I can exist
And be proud of all I've accomplished.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Nothing on me to light a fire
In this dark place
Only my instincts can save me
A shattered heart and torn soul
But I’m still holding on
There’s not much hope
But I hold faith
That one day I’ll make it free
From this place
I’ll do everything it takes
To get out of here alive
It’s not as easy as it sounds
The hardest things take time
And this is an endless war
Between a conscious mind
Of doubts and regrets
That fill an insomniacs head

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

Can you hear the howls,
screams and cries
Deafening to the ears
It’ll make you tremble and shake
You can’t give into fear
Or you won’t make it alive out of here
I’ve been facing down monsters one at a time
Too many at once and they’ll eat you alive
It’s not easy to decide
Which one will be next
Just hope that you don’t mess up
And end up dead
I’m locked and loaded
With guns in hand
I’m prepared as I’ll ever be
I’m gonna make it out of here eventually

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

The battles are from over
Still on guard, ready to defend
Every corner I turn
It gives them a new chance
To catch me off guard
And rip me apart
I’ve got a lot of scars and marks
Barely scraped through
some of my past fights
At the last moments
I was able to turn the tides
How much longer
Can I keep myself alive
I guess the future holds the secrets
Just gotta keep moving
Until I find the exit light
And break free
of this apocalyptic dream

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chase me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
It gets lonely here in purgatory

I’m panting
Taking a deep breath
Bite wounds in my leg
Hellhounds found me out
All is lost now
Guns are out of reach
Might as well accept my fate
Just give in
Let the monsters win
Sometimes you can’t beat a sin
Unless you devote
your unconditional love to him
This was something I never did
So where I’m going is uncertain
Now it’s finally time to
Let the curtain close
Shut my eyes
This is it
I’m torn to bits

All these monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
Hellhounds chased me down
For many monsters, I have slain
But there were only more that came
It’s just the monsters and me
Stuck here in purgatory
I’ve followed winding roads
Hid in dying woods
Snuck through the marsh
Covered my scents with mud
In this land, it’s always dark
Woods with leafless trees
I died alone here in purgatory


(To be continued...)
©2019 Written By Benji James

She feels like her world is broken
She's always felt she's been outspoken
She's trying to send the signs
To say she's not alright
No one can see her pain
(Behind mascara eyes)
No one knows the battle she fights inside
(Behind mascara eyes)
And no one looks beyond her smile
They would see she is crying
On the inside
(Behind mascara eyes)
Can you feel the hurt deep down?
Your trying to keep strong
Your trying to hold the faith
But with every hit
Another part of you breaks

Yeah you feel like fading
Skies are turning grey
And the suns been blocked out
by the cold hard rain
But after the darkness
There is a new dawn
There are bluer skies
On the other side of this storm
Come on your gonna get through it
You know that you can do it
We are gonna get through it.

Situations a rise
And you feel like your life
Is like a runaway train
And your never gonna catch up
With yourself again
You've felt the doubt
Like your trapped in a hole
And you can't get out
You thought you were grown up
But you haven't done that much
And sometimes it feels like your not good enough
So you feel like giving up

Yeah you feel like fading
Skies are turning grey
And the suns been blocked out
by the cold hard rain
But after the darkness
There is a new dawn
There are bluer skies
On the other side of this storm
Come on your gonna get through it
You know that you can do it
We are gonna get through it.

You've been cut down to size
Way to many times
You've thrown your heart out on the line
Only to get rejected or denied
They say it's all apart of life
You wish upon stars every night
Holding on hope that it can
only get better
Your looking for that smile
You haven't felt in a while
That one true happiness
That you felt as a child

Yeah you feel like fading
Skies are turning grey
And the suns been blocked out
by the cold hard rain
But after the darkness
There is a new dawn
There are bluer skies
On the other side of this storm
Come on your gonna get through it
You know that you can do it
We are gonna get through it.

©2018 Written By Benji James

Had to get back
To the pen and the pad
All this is driving me mad
Never sunk this low
Never felt this bad
I've tried washing away all these sins
I've tried burying all of these things
Feels like this room is closing in
All the memories are coming back (back)
I feel cold, alone and trapped (trapped)

Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse me, clean me out
Oh Lord, cleanse my soul
Cleanse me, cleanse me (oh yeah)

Clean me up, clear my head
Bring me to my feet again
I can't seem to walk
With all this weight
Hanging over my shoulders
Take me back
to those Glenmore Park days
Back to where and when I felt safe
There was more than enough love
And protection in the sky above

All these terrible feelings
Are like a collapsing ceiling
Wearing me down, crushing me under
If this keeps up, I'll be six feet under
Trying to dig my way out
Now I realise I need help
Now I see that I can't fight this alone
Now I need a little room to breathe
And let all of the fresh air
Clear all the black smoke in me

Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse me, clean me out
Oh Lord, cleanse my soul
Cleanse me, cleanse me (oh yeah)

Clean me up, clear my head
Bring me to my feet again
I can't seem to walk
With all this weight
Hanging over my shoulders
Take me back
to those Glenmore Park days
Back to where and when I felt safe
There was more than enough love
And protection in the sky above

They say so do you believe in angels?
Maybe there are some watching over you
Maybe there are some watching over me
But only if you have a little faith and just believe
But some people don't believe what they just can't see
I used to be a little sceptical myself
But I'm finding a little belief in spiritual help
That's why I'm asking them to

Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse my soul oh, oh
Cleanse me, clean me out
Oh Lord, cleanse my soul
Cleanse me, cleanse me (oh yeah)

Clean me up, clear my head
Bring me to my feet again
I can't seem to walk
With all this weight
Hanging over my shoulders
Take me back
to those Glenmore Park days
Back to where and when I felt safe
There was more than enough love
And protection in the sky above

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm a write this one in blood
Straight from the arteries
Of my heart, I'm stuck
In situation overload
Currents on overflow
And I can't fight this feeling
Killing me slowly
(On the inside)
There's something deep in my soul
I'm losing, being taken over
I've lost all function in my body
Guess I'll just lay here on the floor
Can't find the will
To keep on walking anymore
Maybe I should just crawl
Nah leave me here
In this dark room
With just these memories of you

Crown me the King of failure
I failed myself
For believing your lies
I failed myself for thinking
There could have ever been a us
Crown me the King of failure
For failing myself
For not listening to what was being, said in my head

I'm crushed
Crashing my dreams
Wanted so bad to believe
You were the one
I got crushed
Betrayed by emotions
All over again
I've been, crushed.
Yeah crushed
Crushed, by love

Oh, girl, I'm not even
The slightest bit mad
I'm just really sad
That you would lie like this to me
You said that you trusted me
You said there was no boundary between us
Remember when you said that
How could you let those words come out?
When none of this was true
I won't suffer in your silence
I won't let that hurt form into violence
And in your ignorance
Maybe I hurt
Maybe I fall
But I won't let this destroy my soul

Crown me the King of failure
I failed myself
For believing your lies
I failed myself for thinking
There could have ever been a us
Crown me the King of failure
For failing myself
For not listening to what was being, said in my head

I'm crushed
Crashing my dreams
Wanted so bad to believe
You were the one
I got crushed
Betrayed by emotions
All over again
I've been, crushed
Yeah crushed
Crushed, by love.

Oh gotta stay strong
Keep holding on
Find a way to move on
Yeah gotta keep moving forward
Keep looking straight
And don't lose focus
Come on I know you know this
Never wanted to give up
Never wanted to give in
Thought we could have worked out everything
But your choice has been made
You never wanted me to stay
Why could you never just say that to me
Why couldn't you just be completely honest with me

Crown me the King of failure
I failed myself
For believing your lies
I failed myself for thinking
There could have ever been a us
Crown me the King of failure
For failing myself
For not listening to what was being, said in my head

I'm crushed
Crashing my dreams
Wanted so bad to believe
You were the one
I got crushed
Betrayed by emotions
All over again
I've been, crushed
Yeah crushed
Crushed, by love.

It's time to let go
Shut the door
You left me all alone
To work this out on my own
Typing lines on my phone
At least you were kind enough
To leave me new material
Got so much I could write an album
You'll never see me drowning
These emotions that you left,
were only a challenge.
Just a test
You didn't want me at my worst
You'll never get me at my best
All right, oh yes
I'm getting over it
Yeah I'm moving past this

Crown me the King of failure
I failed myself
For believing your lies
I failed myself for thinking
There could have ever been a us
Crown me the King of failure
For failing myself
For not listening to what was being, said in my head

I'm crushed
Crashing my dreams
Wanted so bad to believe
You were the one
I got crushed
Betrayed by emotions
All over again
I've been, crushed
Yeah crushed
Crushed, by love.

©2017 Written By Benji James

B-E-N-J-I
Come on you're way outta line
Hey, Hey
Say Hey
Out on the foreshore
Looking for some more Y'all
Come on you *****
Get out on the dance floor
Call for some more Y'all
Take me to the mall
Thinking bout you walking down the hall
For sure
Hey give me that
Picking up that shat
Put it under the mat
Ha...Ha, **** That!

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

Playing it single
Looking for some insults
Running from my result
Of being an adult
Just wanna let you know
I think ya mums a ***
Oh, oh **** ya wanna blow
I'll show you where to go
There he is now you know
Ya ******* wanna throw a punch
But I'll eat ya for ma lunch
Come on bring me down
And I'll take you downtown
Oh No what the ******* know
Ya know nothing and that's how it goes
Whoa, whoa!
Back up the chorus
It's not all for us
It's all for one
But I'm not done yall

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

They call me Benny
Just got change from a twenty
Y'all know so many
Wanna get me
But now you see
They all wanna leave
Because I ain't all that great
But still, they wait
Another rhyme on my hands
But I can't defend
Every man on this
God Forsaken Land
Show Me Where
I can put ma hands
On ya body
Can't touch me

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

One More Time Y'all
One for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready
And ******* to

I ain't no gangsta
Just a Prankster
Just wanna thank ya
For listening to my crap ya
Gotcha in the middle bit
Working for a Lil bit
Did ya see that ***?
Y'all gotta go
Y'all wanna know
Where do I come from
Where is ma show
Yo Gotta Know
Yeah I Love you to

©2017 Written By Benji James

Today is the day
my existence fades away
ever since high school days
invisible is the way I stayed
I would give up everything
just to fit in.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

So pathetic
they just don't get it
I can't take it anymore
I wanna tell you
But I'm scared about it
Because I don't know
how you'll react.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

It's not right
I hate my life
Wish I was gone (alright)
Hand me downs
Trying to make you proud
But I just can't take
I just can't take it now.

Outcast, misfit
I'll never fit in
tried to take the time
to do things right
But I've just had enough
I want to give up.

©2018 Written By Benji James

How do I communicate when lyrics
Were what I wrote best
But everything I write is not good enough
For this situation and the pressure of the anticipation
Like will she understand what I mean?
Will this be enough to make her realize and see?
But nothing that's coming out is worthy of this
That why it's being torn up
There's not enough soul, enough heart
And I can't break these boundaries anymore
Maybe I should just give up on it all
But your hurting so bad
And it's affecting me
And when you're mentally blank and don't know what to say
I'm afraid of hurting you even more than you already are
Try to type another text then I delete it again
Because you're just not talking to me
But can't you see that I know your hurting tonight
And all this emotion is killing me inside.

You told me somewhere out there
Is my other half
Even though you were the one I loved
Yeah you lied, left me in despair
Now my heart is beyond repair
Not a day goes by I don’t think about how
I should have made more moves with you
Regretting all these things,
that is what I’m used to
All I wanted was for you to be mine
But that’s not what life had in mind

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

I’m sick and sore
Bodies aching
Suppressed my cravings
Every time I gazed upon you
You were ****** desire
Deep within the flames burn higher
Extinguished my lust
With your words
Left me feeling broken and hurt
Rejection left me depressed
And I couldn’t find a vibe
To breathe in new life
My wires were cut
Left for dead
A rusting tin man

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

All I wanted was to find a future with us
It seems you had other ideas and gave up
All I got left was a box of empty promises
A whole lot of lessons
I wish I didn’t have to learn
I’m laying in the dark
Images play upon the roof
In all the ways that I remember you
The taste of your kiss
The feel of your lips
Tracing the lines in your hands
Playing with every strand of your hair
Every touch placed upon your body
I remember every breath you took
I remember all the ways
You left me shook

You told me that I’d find the one
Yeah you lied, you were wrong
I’m never gonna find anyone
You told me I’d find love
You told me one day a girl
Would give me her all
Should have known better
Fell for those lines before
Yeah you lied
Left me shattered across the floor
I don’t even care about feeling anymore

©2018 Written By Benji James

Do you ever wonder
Or get lost in deep thought
What everyone would think
And feel when you're gone
Do you run through scenarios
Inside of your head
What will be the last thing you do
What will be the last thing that you said
I find myself at a crossroads
What legacy can I leave behind

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

Tell me do you ever try to come to grips
With the mistakes that you made
The hurt that you gave
Can you forgive, what if they forgave
Could you forgive yourself
For the pain that you made
And sometimes I lack confidence
Sometimes the self-doubt wins out
Sometimes I'm lost in train of thought
and I can't seem to find my way out

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

I wonder what the effect is I will leave
I wonder will they ever see past the emotions that they read
I wonder what will you see
The day this earth is taken from beneath my feet
What kind of legacy is it I will leave
I hope it's something with meaning
I hope the hurt I left found healing
I hope the hearts that broke
Got completed because of the emptiness I left
I hope that everyone I came across finds happiness
I hope the message I leave have meaning

Just know that when I'm gone
I'm sorry for the hurting
That I've caused
I'm sorry for the anger I made you feel
I'm sorry for not taking the blame
When it was my fault
I hope you cherish the smiles and good memories

Hope when I get to the other side
I can look down and see
The footprints I left inside
Everyone else's life
What kind of marks did I leave
Did I inspire, did I hurt
Did I leave you with meaningful words
I just hope I can see
The people who'll remember me

©2017 Written By Benji James

Once upon a time
Way up high in the sky
There sat a fluffy cloud
Looking down at the world
He liked to see
All the boys and girls
With smiles on their face
He liked the way music would play
Expressing emotions through melodic symphonies
He was as happy as any fluffy cloud could be

There's a feeling building
Up in the soul
Something doesn't feel right
All these joyous feelings
Are transforming into something else
Something doesn't feel right
There's something hidden
Deep down
the smile turns to a frown
Something doesn't feel right
No something doesn't feel right

One day the fluffy cloud
Looked down upon the world
He saw things
He wish he didn't see
The suffering and heartache
Made the fluffy clouds heartbreak
He felt heavier and as he changed
from the purest white
The more his emotions swelled inside
The darker he got

There's a feeling building
Up in the soul
Something doesn't feel right
All these joyous feelings
Are transforming into something else
Something doesn't feel right
There's something hidden
Deep down
the smile turns to a frown
Something doesn't feel right
No something doesn't feel right

The anger was building inside
As the thunder rolled out
That was the anger he was shouting out
Rain falls like tears upon the cheek
He let his emotions out with a big growl
The light show was something amazing to see
From the earth below
People stood in awe
Of what they saw

There's a feeling building
Up in the soul
Something doesn't feel right
All these joyous feelings
Are transforming into something else
Something doesn't feel right
There's something hidden
Deep down
the smile turns to a frown
Something doesn't feel right
No something doesn't feel right

The storm passed
and out of the darkness a rainbow of light
There's always something good on the other side
The sky went calm.
The fluffy cloud smiled down upon the world
he heard the music kick back in
All the boys and girls started to laugh and play
And that's when the cloud began to grin
And knew everything was gonna be alright
He found happiness on the other side

There's a feeling building
Up in the soul
Something feels right
All these depressing feelings
Are transforming into something else
Something just feels right
There's nothing hidden
deep down
the smiles back from a frown
Something just feels right
Yeah everything's alright

©2017 Written By Benji James

I remember when you were four
I caught you drawing on the wall
I couldn't get mad
Instead I just laughed
And I still have
The finger print painting
that you made
In fact I had it framed
I have every art piece you made
To remind me that your always here
with me spiritually

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

We were at the hospital
I was sitting beside your bed
And you wiped the tears
Underneath my eyes
Then I heard you say
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I smiled
Don't say no goodnights or goodbyes
Yeah princess your my little fighter
My inspiration, my perfection
My saviour, my hope, my strength
Your everything I am
I'll carry that with me forever

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's
Holding you in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember
when I heard the doctor say
(There's no heart rate)
That line still haunts me
Your mother and I fell to the floor
Neither of us wanted to get back up
It felt like we cried for hours
And then I felt
something give me strength
Then I remembered what you said
Daddy please don't cry
I like it better when you smile
So I pulled myself back up
from the floor
Took your mother in my arms
Carried her back to the car
You were every step
You were every breath

All These tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

I still remember when
I heard the priest say
May she rest with angels
watching over her
May they share there
infinite love on high
May they protect
her blessed soul
Let the Lord take her
Into his loving arms
To keep her safe from harm
I said Amen to that princess
And I've seen you in the stars
Yeah you'll never be to far
For we are always
With in each other's hearts

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

Sometimes I sit in your empty room
Imagine you playing, drawing
Creating all those games
You used to play
With your vivid imagination
A world of your creation
It's like your still here
I can feel your essence
I can feel your presence
In this place
It's where I go to relive your memory
That you left for me

All these tear drops
That fall upon the page
Creating smudged ink stains
As this pen bleeds
Words drenched in sorrow
An empty heart slowly fades
Can't seem to find a way
To release all this pain
Can't seem to find the words to say
I miss you each and everyday
Can't find a logical reason to explain
Why you were taken a way

Can't forgive God
For what he's done
Just hope he's holding
You in his arms
Keeping you safe and warm
You got the voices of angels
Who can serenade
And sing you to sleep
And I'll keep you safe
Inside of your dreams

©2017 Written By Benji James

In the darkness
of an empty room,
I cry in the corner
seeing visions of you.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

As I lay in the dark
of a nice warm bath.
Planning how to take my life away,
I breathe in deeply
drift beneath the water
Until I struggle to breathe
That is when visions of you
resurrect me.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Kneeling in the shower
praying to a God
that doesn't exist.
Don't know the difference
between reality and make believe.
As I look towards the shower head
I still can't see.
These scars that cover me
may need rebandaging.
He's a lost cause,
an abomination.
He's a disgrace
to the human race.
We've been here before
I'm all alone, in this empty room,
Crying in the corner
seeing visions of you

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh, I've lost myself
everything makes no sense.
I think about the time
you said that you'd be there,
I'm not sure you even cared.
But your smile saved my life
a million times before.
I'm in need of you,
but this time you're gone.
Not sure I will survive anymore.
As I kneel in the shower
praying to a God that doesn't exist,
This razor penetrates my skin.
The blood trickles down the drain,
He falls to the floor,
crucified he cried
Crucify me tonight.

I want to feel your touch.
Feel your touch, feel your touch.
You held out your hand,
but I couldn't grab on.
These guilty pleasures
are held, in front of me.
These guilty pleasures
are taking a hold on me.
I can't break free,
Can't get back up
There are no pieces
left to pick up.

Oh! My star has fallen tonight,
If they were there,
he might still be alive
every night,
he died a little more inside,
my star has fallen tonight

As I lay in the darkness
of an empty room
staring at the ceiling
seeing visions of you
I see your smile
it puts my mind at rest
I fall asleep
knowing I truly was blessed.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Can't feel anything in my soul
Just the rattling in my bones
Nothing was big enough to fill this hole
Welcome to my story untold
Wait a little longer for it to unfold
These pills just aren't enough
To make me forget your love
And all the damage you've caused to my heart

I realise how much I miss you
But it's so hard to forgive you
And maybe I hurt you to
Can't we talk instead of argue?

Can't say anything in five seconds
Without you saying "Do you remember?"
Thought that was all in the past
But losers have always come last
Guess I just wasn't that fast
So I'll just reply with "I can't remember December."

This bottle of gin hasn't even lasted five minutes
Reminiscing in memories is driving me crazy
I'm haunted by the messages you're sending me lately
How can so much trouble come from one little lady
Oh, why are you taunting me, baby?

I realise how much I miss you
But it's so hard to forgive you
And maybe I hurt you to
Can't we talk instead of argue?

Can't say anything in five seconds
Without you saying "Do you remember?"
Thought that was all in the past
But losers have always come last
Guess I just wasn't that fast
So I'll just reply with "I can't remember December."

©2017 Written By Benji James

Don't say your a lover
Not a fighter
We fight for love every day
Work hard for our next pay
So we can pave our way

So we can provide a better place

For the ones we love

We fight the ones

Who try to tear us apart

All that jealousy can get ******

Your not afraid to let them see you cry

There the medication that helps you to survive

The arguments are what makes us stronger

In fact, I wouldn't have it any other way

You can throw verbal abuse at me

In fact, swing a fist out in public display

Because I'd still love you

We always work it out

There's nobody else like you

Nobody makes me feel the way you do

So give me the pleasure and the pain

You know how to stimulate my brain

Come put your body on me

Steal my breath away

Nobody will ever take your place

I'd go to war, I'd fight, I'd die

Just to know that you are mine

All the other people can hate 

They can't break the love we make

They can't take our hearts away

With you, I'll always remain

With you, I'd always stay.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Crushed to the core
sinking like an Anker
To the floor
Pull me from the depths
Drowning in the wreckage
Of a wounded heart
feel the blood from a punctured lung
Tears, Screams all around
Drifting in the water below
Breathing in water through your nose
But when you rise
You rose to fill every expectation
Everybody has an expiration date
this time I’m not gonna fight
to find a way out
Cuz I’m tired of being a fighter
Yeah hold up a lighter
in loving memory
of everything we shared
They gave me more than I could bare
and now there is no flare
to light the skies
God gave me hope, gave me strength to carry on
But you can only keep going on for so long
It was in the way she talked
And in the way she walked
That the poisonous fumes
From the scent of her perfume
Stunned and trapped me in your love
Got tricked into a trap
I’ll never escape from
Take a flying leap of faith
Into the ocean and rocks below
See if I can overcome the pain
The pain of the day she walked away
Swallow all my pride
learned everything from a beating heart
that shined so brightly in the dark
Nobody likes to be alone and apart
Yeah lock my love in your mind
Know that what was mine
you've inherited all of the stars tonight
because without you they just won’t shine
That means I’ll be walking blind
so light up everything we have inside
I’ll be your angel wings in flight
I’ll take you flying through the skies
yeah baby blue eyes
I called her baby blue eyes.

©2019 Written By Benji James

As I awake from eternal slumber
I rise from the ground covered with ash
Bound in a circle of fire
You can call me Johnny Cash
Hands through the fire
They don't burn, no pain
I am immune to fire it seems
Walk right through
surrounded by lightning skies
Thunder rattles my ears
Though I don't burn
I can feel the heat
A thousand degrees
Memories flash before my eyes
Of a past life
I remember monsters and me
Locked together in purgatory

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

I've wandered these deserts for many years
No hope in sight
Not sure if in circles I have been walking
Because all the scenery I've seen
All looks the same to me
Trapped in this box
Just a Jack waiting to be set free
Wind me up so I can breathe
See the light just one more time
My mind has slowly deteriorated, insane
Not sure I'll ever be the same
This is torture, this is the pain
This burns even more than the flame
Trapped in this place
I cannot stay
I need to break free of this cell
Can't stay here trapped in hell

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

Fed myself holy water,
It burns me inside
Too late for confessing past sins
Can't be forgiven for this
Keep hearing voices taunting me
Saying I'll never be good enough
Can't save myself from the pain I've been dealt
You have failed yourself and everyone else
Them words on repeat, the laughs and the screams
Making fun of me
I'm nothing more than an empty shell
Of who I once was
Tried to be too strong on my own
Now I see it takes more to fight demons and monster alone
The mistakes that I've made
Are put on parade through my dreams
Bound and chained to never leave me

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

My soul was torn to shreds
Now just an empty vessel
Eyes pitch black
Not a light left inside
My heart was ripped from my chest
Follow your heart, Now just a distant memory
Said I wouldn't fade
Soulless and Heartless maybe I am
But I'll fight with everything I have left
Until broken in pieces upon the floor
Until I'm unable to move anymore

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

It was just monsters and me in Purgatory
Now I see I'm trapped in myself
Fighting the monsters that I had become
To my own demons, I was forced to succumb
But I won't stand for it no more
I'll do what it takes
To claim my throne
Needed a little help
Needed a little guidance
From my angels of light
Help me to reclaim my life
So I'm here praying
Drenched in tears
I need you to help me beat these fears
I need you to support me out of here
Hear my prayers and all I have to say
I need purification
Plunge me beneath these holy seas
Wash me clean, help me heal
I want the power to feel

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
Found out where it is I am
Wasn't resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
But this feels like home
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I once found myself in
Maybe this was hell
I may have been ******
But I found beauty in who I am
Because of the sins branded in me
They gave me the strength
to find a new way
Nobody was around in sight
There was one beyond my eyes
He filled me with eternal light
Now I've got to let it shine.

©2019 Written By Benji James

As I awake from eternal slumber
I rise from the ground covered with ash
Bound in a circle of fire
You can call me Johnny Cash
Hands through the fire
They don't burn, no pain
I am immune to fire it seems
Walk right through
surrounded by lightning skies
Thunder rattles my ears
Though I don't burn
I can feel the heat
A thousand degrees
Memories flash before my eyes
Of a past life
I remember monsters and me
Locked together in purgatory

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

I've wandered these deserts for many years
No hope in sight
Not sure if in circles I have been walking
Because all the scenery I've seen
All looks the same to me
Trapped in this box
Just a Jack waiting to be set free
Wind me up so I can breathe
See the light just one more time
My mind has slowly deteriorated, insane
Not sure I'll ever be the same
This is torture, this is the pain
This burns even more than the flame
Trapped in this place
I cannot stay
I need to break free of this cell
Can't stay here trapped in hell

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

Fed myself holy water,
It burns me inside
Too late for confessing past sins
Can't be forgiven for this
Keep hearing voices taunting me
Saying I'll never be good enough
Can't save myself from the pain I've been dealt
You have failed yourself and everyone else
Them words on repeat, the laughs and the screams
Making fun of me
I'm nothing more than an empty shell
Of who I once was
Tried to be too strong on my own
Now I see it takes more to fight demons and monster alone
The mistakes that I've made
Are put on parade through my dreams
Bound and chained to never leave me

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

My soul was torn to shreds
Now just an empty vessel
Eyes pitch black
Not a light left inside
My heart was ripped from my chest
Follow your heart, Now just a distant memory
Said I wouldn't fade
Soulless and Heartless maybe I am
But I'll fight with everything I have left
Until broken in pieces upon the floor
Until I'm unable to move anymore

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
First I need to figure where I am
Was I resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
This doesn't feel like the earth
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I find myself in
Maybe this is my hell
I must have been ******
Because of the sins branded in me
Nobody around in sight
I'm on my own again this time

It was just monsters and me in Purgatory
Now I see I'm trapped in myself
Fighting the monsters that I had become
To my own demons, I was forced to succumb
But I won't stand for it no more
I'll do what it takes
To claim my throne
Needed a little help
Needed a little guidance
From my angels of light
Help me to reclaim my life
So I'm here praying
Drenched in tears
I need you to help me beat these fears
I need you to support me out of here
Hear my prayers and all I have to say
I need purification
Plunge me beneath these holy seas
Wash me clean, help me heal
I want the power to feel

Resurrection
Need a new direction
A new chance I've been given
May have a chance to mend my ways
Found out where it is I am
Wasn't resurrected by a holy man
It seems I'm not in heaven
But this feels like home
Nothing around but Ash and Dirt
A wasteland I once found myself in
Maybe this was hell
I may have been ******
But I found beauty in who I am
Because of the sins branded in me
They gave me the strength
to find a new way
Nobody was around in sight
There was one beyond my eyes
He filled me with eternal light
Now I've got to let it shine.

©2018 Written By Benji James

All those words
I should never have said
All those thoughts
That entered my head
Misreading situations
Placing false allegations
What am I doing here,
my mind is so unclear,
My windscreens fogging up
I'm drowning in the silence
All I want is to hear
Your voice calling out my name

It's not the same
Without you here
I can't bare to watch you leave
And I've made mistakes
It's okay,  it's my fault
I'll take the blame
I'm sorry for causing you all this pain
It's not the same
It's not the same
without you here

I'm sorry
For ripping apart your heart
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
And I'm sorry
For creating all these scars
I'll patch them up
I'll patch them up
I'm sorry for giving up
I'll make it up
(Just wait and see)
I'll make it up
I will make it up

How could I have caused such hurt
When I really love her
How could I not have seen the signs
She's been signalling all this time
How can I take back all I said
I've just gone and changed everything
I don't want this change
Don't want you to go away
Please stay, please stay
I'm reaching out my hands to you
I'm reaching out my hands to you

It's not the same
Without you here
I can't bare to watch you leave
And I've made mistakes
It's okay, it's my fault
I'll take the blame
I'm sorry for causing you all this pain
It's not the same
It's not the same
without you here

I'm sorry
For ripping apart your heart
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
And I'm sorry
For creating all these scars
I'll patch them up
I'll patch them up
I'm sorry for giving up
I'll make it up
(Just wait and see)
I'll make it up
I will make it up

After all, we have been through
After all this time
I'm losing you like this
Because of my selfish antics
How could I not see
How much you were hurting deep down inside
I'm supposed to be your protection
The one that you could turn too
Never should have let you
Fight these battles on your own
I've made mistakes
I've made mistakes
Yeah I hope and pray
That one day you might forgive me

It's not the same
Without you here
I can't bare to watch you leave
And I've made mistakes
It's okay, it's my fault
I'll take the blame
I'm sorry for causing you all this pain
It's not the same
It's not the same
without you here

I'm sorry
For ripping apart your heart
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
And I'm sorry
For creating all these scars
I'll patch them up
I'll patch them up
I'm sorry for giving up
I'll make it up
(Just wait and see)
I'll make it up
I will make it up

I love you so much
I'll repair your heart
From the damage that I've done
I'll make it up
I'll make it up
I love you for all you are
Shine bright my star
Shine bright my star
I love you for all you are.

©2017 Written By Benji James