a post-it note
that's just going to
collect dust along the lines
until it turns from yellow
to a pitiful grey.
that usually happens
when the people you love
I'll read your contents
almost every day
and maybe I might
on my wall, you're safe.
But if I ever could,
I would gladly watch you
When the idea of loving you is more pleasurable to be around
Than to actually be with you,
What does that say about you?
..... What does that say about me..?
"You don't love me... You love the idea of being with me."
Didn't bother to turn and look at me when she said that. Just kept watching TV I guess.
It took me days to realize how right she was, and how angry I was with her and myself.
Cursed are the doers
forever, filling the cup
Cursed are the brave
never ever, giving up
Cursed are the poets
words and thoughts sublime
Cursed are the artists
bound, by measured time
Cursed are the loved
pain and hurt, their's to endure
Cursed are the loving
never rich, but never poor
Cursed and eternally damned
pushed through hell's open door
Cursed, perpetually condemned
always, now and forever
coming back for more
Yeah, kinda dark, I know...
Truthfully, you have hollowed out my heart. I have nothing left to give you. Numb to your love, my nerves discarded all feel for you. Feeling like a ice shard the second it hits the floor, a billion unfixable pieces from my one broken heart. Broken from the start I only wished I could have fixed you, alienated all my love clouded in mental issues.
Detrimental to your self, its like you've hit the self destruct. Destructions like your friend now you've totally fucked it up! Friends have turned to strangers, estranged by your madness, you used to be the greatest and I guess that's what makes it the saddest.
I think I'm cursed.
Like my mom... I guess it's true.
The way I get lost in all of you.
You seek me out.
The mystery that is me.
My strange coloured eyes.
And the slight curve of my body.
You somehow like the way I look.
But when I speak,
That's the true hook.
You fall for my image.
This broken little girl.
How she seems so miserable,
But makes your heart twirl.
Leads you on adventure.
Makes you misbehave.
You question your morality.
Yet feel more alive than you ever have.
I bring this beautiful destruction to all that fall too close.
They fall in love with nothing.
I can't be held on to.
And no one really wants to.
The only thing that I can promise,
Is an utterly tragic end.
I am your illness,
now pay attention to me,
I'm the reason you thrive,
I reside inside,
You're a taxi cab
and I'm your driver,
When they inquire about
your lack of sanity,
You can tell them I
drove you insane.
Thanks for letting everyone else
know my name,
Now my corners and crannies
are home to cobwebs of shame,
And I can't crawl out of any of them...
You are a cursed disaster,
nothing natural about you,
You have the deepness of the ocean,
the warmth of the fire,
Deep planted roots of the earth,
and the breeze of the air,
a breeze of "I'm stronger than you",
a breeze of "I'm defeating you".
But I do not like having
my breath taken away
I ponder my own existence;
Just smother me in dirt
so at least I'll know
where the destruction
is coming from.
I lowered my guard for a love that cut deep,
She dropped my heart in the over grown weeds,
And the dead wilted roses where no soul would see,
Thorns like knifes slice the sides to the organ of love in me,
In slaved in vines in a dark dense forest,
Never to be found or seen,
My heart is lost through lusted horror entrusted to another,
She lost my heart with out a bother, and let it rot in sorrow,
Putrid flesh on bone and marrow I'm rotten to the core,
You left me hanging like a gutted fish, my wish is to live no more!
But my heart still beats through all this hurt,
Anguish, pain and dirt,
Weaker still, I still love you,
No relinquishing this curse!
The word ‘poet’ no longer sits comfortably between my teeth.
I grind it, choke it down, regurgitate it, manipulate it to be something it never will.
I wash it down with lovers, cut my feet on the shards of broken hearts I leave behind.
Still, your curse bleeds out from feet and wrists that carry the cross I bare.
You made me from the scars of every woman you ever hurt.
My body is an ocean of tears that were cried in your name.
Your infidelities, the ball tied to the chain that pulls me under.
Under the dead weight of guilt left on a 1000 lips that weren’t my mother.
Now she sits at the table, by all accounts alive and well, but we know you killed her.
Your face rests upon my bones, tormenting her, like a ghost forever caught in limbo..
You're the XY. Shes your ex and I’m your why? Like why create a body you won’t love.
The ghosts of your women scream inside my head, like I should die for your sins.
So I give myself entirely, and fall in love with everyone I meet.
I’m looking for silence, my chalk outline hidden between bed sheets.
Because this is what you taught me, this is all you ever said.
Naked I wait for someone to hold me, to settle the panic in my head.
No help from my mother a suicidal bi-polar,
Asthma attacks ment no help from dad,
Upped and he left without packing a bag,
So Im caught in a bother a bastard by nature,
No gran dad or nans to help me to cater,
My uncle is a drunken fool,
Ambitionless, penniless and idol,
You wonder why I'm angry?
Inward and resentful?
No help from my family!
For all of their sins,
And that REALLY is helpful,
Sort of like...
"Whispers in the wind"