by Arcassin Burnham
Would you stay or would you flee?
Would you go as far as burying the love you've always seeked?
Gravitating towards the things that make you sane is the key,
so why do you speak to me?
Would you fall or be on your lonesome in a world full
of demons that'll see you lose some,
of your sanity and dignity, hell is not fun,
Seen some carnations of that'll make you scream and run then call
on the chosen one immediately after seeing the sun,
praising unfair guidelines instead of the man that made
Breaking laws is why the world ain't free that's why we fall,
Looking for a sanctuary that won't disappoint us,
He warned us.
I literally can’t go to the mall
Without doing my homework first.
And I literally can’t take my money
Without carrying a purse.
I literally can’t text my friends
Without having my parents see.
I literally can’t leave the house
Without having my annoying brother with me.
I literally can’t do this and that.
I literally can’t own a cat.
There are literally so many things I want to do,
But I LITERALLY can’t do those, too.
Meaningless lines on my wrist,
I suppose is what you'd think.
Foolish, these markings mean much more than "immaturity",
A lot more, if you cared to listen.
If only you took a step back to look at the bigger picture.
It speaks a lot, doesn't it?
You're just afraid of what you don't understand.
From a bashful youth
to a chattering box
took too many years
too many stopped clocks
From sheltering in shadows
and playing the nerd
to a contrary escapee
from society's herd
From paralysing reticence
and bitter experience
to finding a voice
via various expedients
From an inner sanctum
to an outer space
to try and figure out
this flawed human race
From careless to carefree
no longer toeing lines
writing them instead
without the confines
Nothing to see here
My thoughts are dazed…
Claustrophobic and hazed.
I’m exhausted and unamazed,
Fatigueness of some kind, low from the natural high.
Thoughts in my mind are delusive and unkind.
Dizzy and feeling quite fizzy
Not in the mood for studying, excitement, and fun.
Sitting by my lonesome self just writing what I can process.
Head feels heavy, got me feeling a bit queasy
Zoned out and lost in my thoughts
Sun is out and the wind is harsh…
It’s skin prickling and dissatisfying.
My exhaustion is sickening.
Absolute death and no reason
But anguished in my enclosed mind
But no threat…
Discredit and disregard
Explain but disagree and make it hard
Exhalation and permutation
Loss of existence and clouded perception
Obsessive minds and sniffed up lines
Excessive amounts and numbers you cannot even count.
Broken, ripped, torn, and outwardly worn.
A lost ghoul, selfish, and for more you mourn.
Poor and dead, not yourself, completely blacked out and unconscious in bed.
Overdosed on the fuckin’ pills, suicide attempts never work…
Let the meds pour…
Gone, so gone…
Just let the meds pour...
In an unguarded moment
I saw what it is, to not see myself.
The fogged up mirror
didn’t let my reflection reach me.
And what reached me was
just a picture colored out of lines.
The more I looked at my obscured face,
the more I was convinced
that the faces was not mine.
The more I was convinced of the face being a stranger’s,
more easier it was for me to love and accept it.
If I could see myself as someone else
how easier it would be to live my life.
Not knowing what I know about myself,
not knowing what I think.
To be what I am and what I am not at the same time.
How easier it would be , if this is
what I saw in mirror everyday.
How beautiful can be not knowing, not seeing.
Only smudged shades of colors.
A face not mine.
I feed upon the words of others
like manna, to my heart and soul
it binds me too reality
and fills, empty poetic holes
Jotting down my thoughts
no slight meant by mere words
inspired by the sentiments
lines and prose I've read, and heard
Simplicity and flow of writs
never reused, or resold
each and every one of them
unique, completely uncontrolled
No excuses, I simply can't help myself, as all of you, and your words, are muses and inspirations.
I do post some snippets to my profile, and feed upon them for creation of more than a few of my poems.