it was now, entirely
a clear unknown looking face
that rose right before my very eyes
we played off
let our fingers bite the goddamn chains
skirts around from getting all locked up
what crept into my mind
when I nearly slit his vision through
before I could even take
my last pull
“A memoir; for you were set apart.”
As I would wait at eleven,
At that moon ere the twelfth,
Would you be there? By the cleft?
Would I still see you, in even;
By the lights across?
Even so; and not,
Flusters in vain,
but firn; it blots not
unsieved trails by the rain.
Beseeched to cease upon this fixation,
“’Twas but a distant temperament.”
But I’d do it all over again.
and it took me some time
to realize that i was dating
not a man
that i wasn't looking
for a boyfriend
i was looking for a dad
hold on a second
its not what it seems
theres no oedipus complex
this isn't incest-y
this is a girl
who can never love a man
this is a girl
who never had a dad
this is a girl
that wants love-
the pure kind-
the lets go for icecream at 3am
lets go to the park
lets name all the animals at the zoo
this is the girl looking for protection
by sticking her head in the cage
her safety net
is a beard and colored eyes
and it took her time to realize
that every boy that smiles at you
doesn't mean well
and when they say they love you
don't think they will hesitate before they leave you
because they won't
be fooled by their smiling eyes
girl you need to realize
your father loved you
and he meant well
he left and these boys no they don't love you the way he did
they won't save you from the demons in your head
lie still and know
that "boy" isn't a safe word
and "man" doesn't mean love
and that the bridge between those who stay
and those who leave
is jammed with those
who said they'd be
stop looking for a man.
stop looking for a dad.
“Would’ve I ever seen such fraudulent impasse?
I cringe; and question thee, herein.”
Maybe in another world,
And time or perhaps when suns be cold;
When we’d again strum a chord
at once; twice probably if you would?
When we’d stay and tread so close
along; with the ever present glimpses,
In between and I’d wish;
And I wish that it rains,
that it blows,
that it seeks,
And I wish the stars fall too;
Glazing upon dawn’s garnish,
Th’path ere one fine morrow:
The sunset passé sky where they belong;
Ages of flattery in words along,
Praises upon chansonettes,
Grace woven; as spoken in clique,
sly humming veils’n smooth seething silk!
Soft, slithery, (sappily) feverishly-
uncouthly adamant; yet so verily
unruly in manners: timely swerves;
Quizzically feasible; unrightly cryptic,
Always; an ineffable coherence.
At what sight;
And I asked, “what might?”
Fearing when it opens.
(I fear what’s behind when it’s closed.)
The constant rippling of consciousness,
Of brandless catharsis:
“An ever conflagrant condescension
upon one’s thought, insistent.”
And indulge me so; kindly,
To where it would stop:
Unto what such flattery
“And never would I have ever thought,
that you’d enjoy such silent company.”
They ask me about my poetry
Done with ease
Like stars align; astrology
Coded into chemistry
Like a limb;
A part of me
Crackling with energy
Electrical and synergy
Working together like a team
My heart and mind combined
To find that sign, in time
you may say nothing,
but don't tell me it doesn't feel strange to you too.
doesn't it feel strange;
doesn't it feel harsh,
doesn't it ache
we may not be here again?
doesn't it make your heart
pound out of your chest
you will not see the skies from this one specific place again?
doesn't it weigh upon your shoulders
that we may not meet again?
doesn't it make you nauseous with the whole heaving hurt of it,
and the entirety of your relief.
don't you get torn
between good riddance
and i'll miss you,
between is this the taste of freedom,
the heady weightlessness in my chest,
and take me back; what i would give to do it over.
doesn't it make you go weak-kneed.
to think, we're almost there.
we've made it, and now
who even knows
where next to go.
Between people hiding tears behind smiles
I remember how we are now like piles,
The piles kept deep in my closet's drawer, drowning in dust, stiff and hopeless
Just like my heart, the one many adore...
But here those encircle and surround me, and
As i crave what has been lost with the dust
My life shines with you
So I keep holding on to what's buried into the past within the gust.
I paint my face
covering the flaws
Heavy sockets cradle the sleepless hours
unfavourable blush and uneven creases
tell stories of worry and woe
map out my mind across my face
pieces drawn to disguise.
are across a
weeds muddy field
A field thats walked across and trodden on
journey with care across its banks
because others have left marks
I cannot un trace.